Am I too old fashioned?

[supershifty]

I'm 45yo. I still call friends of my parents aunty or uncle followed by whatever their christian name is. I have recently moved back into my long time parents house after their death - this is the house I grew up in from the time I was 5yo until I left when I was 20yo. The neighbours are pretty well basically the same ones since I left 25 years ago. I always address them with a "Hello Mr or Mrs X" and all is friendly.

I have never been introduced to my neighbours by their christian names and don't mind at all addressing them by "Mr and Mrs" - to me the way I've been brought up it's a sign of respect, regardless of my age.

Turn the page to my daughters (18yo and 15yo) and I and the Mrs have taught the same thing to them. They (our girls) have followed that line too.

I'm not asking for parental guidance here - me and the ex have brought up our daughters to show respect, manners and consideration for other people.

The question I ask is "Do you think this is outdated".

Really looking forward to your responses - young or old from the members.

Cheers!

[XB GS 351 Coupe]

Respect and manners will never be outdated.

[lilmattie]

I'm 27 and my parents brought me up the same way. It's the way I will be bringing up my kids too. I find it very refreshing when I do come across a younger person that has good manners. Because sooo many don't have any manners at all.

I know what you mean in terms of it seeming old fashioned. It's hard nowadays, as many people are just introduced with their Christian names.

But I've always preferred the Mr and Mrs - even to other adults. But I generally let them introduce themselves and call them that.

[Geez Louise]

My kids always address people by their last names as in...Mr or Mrs Whatever it may be and people look at them like they are from the dark ages. They also say May I...not can I. People may think it is weird but so be it!

Manners are manners...and to me....they will NEVER go out of fashion...unlike my shoes I just found in the back of my wardrobe...talk about aweful! What the heck was I thinking!!!

[Landau Stable]

Old fashioned? Yes. That doesn't make it bad though. I was brought up the same was as you and your daughters. It was only when i had been an adult for a few years that i wouild call others by their given name. It will be people like you and your daughters that i would want as my neighbours when they have kids. There is nothing wrong with teaching manners like you have done. Well done i say.

[cs123]

A different era.

I was bought up the same. My daughters friends all call me by my first name. It's not a respect issue at all.

[Pepscobra]

I've been married 3 years and still call the inlaws Mr and Mrs.
I was raised pretty much the same and so will my kids.

[Jim Goose]

hell no!

[supershifty]

Originally Posted by Jim Goose

hell no!

Crikey Jim, that's gotta be the shortest answer you've ever given!

Seriously though, I'm really pleased with the positive responses to my question. It's good to know that I'm not that "old fashioned" and that old world values are still held in high esteem these days.

Cheers folk - may you raise your children well!

[pottery beige]

yep im pushing 40 and still call friends of family aunty / uncle / insert first name...

they get a kick out of it.. and im still a little **** bag...

[Keepleft]

Not outdated.

I'll introduce my kids to Mr & Mrs, or Ms/Miss. (Or Aunty/Uncle etc in family situations).

Similarly, when someone is introduced the same way to me - I then "invite" them to say call me by my first name. Usually.

The way I was raised, and I am older than yourself, slightly.

[my_gxl]

I was raised to call my dads friends uncle...

Now I have grown up i think that was wrong. My brothers and I all think this. We all teach our kids Aunty and Uncle are for those specific relationships. Friends of mine have a name.

My daugher is being taught manners, and they are very good so far.

Its more in HOW the child, or anyone for that matter, addresses you. The art of how to speak, as well as what you actually say is lost on a lot of people.

However, there is nothing wrong with teaching what you have done.

[302 XC]

Originally Posted by my_gxl

I was raised to call my dads friends uncle...

Now I have grown up i think that was wrong. My brothers and I all think this. We all teach our kids Aunty and Uncle are for those specific relationships. Friends of mine have a name.

I was raised the same ethic
But now im older i hate being addressed as Uncle even with nephews,there was a standard nick name i had when the nephews were little and all the nephew ,neices call me that im comfortable with that

[jaydee]

You must be older than 21, you used the word "too" two times and got it right to a tee every time.Lol.
Oops sorry, thats me trying to be cool.
Yes I'm an old bugger too and was taught the same values as were my kids.

[Pinkbits]

I still call my first boss by his title followed by his surname.
He was a firm but fair man & is partly responsible for instilling good work ethics into me in my younger impressionable years.

[XD 351 Ute]

Not at all, I'm a similar age and call people Mr or Mrs etc when appropriate or until they ask otherwise.

Ed

[Nova 8]

I remember going on a date a few months back, I opened doors for the girl (cause thats what i was taught to do on a first date). Her response... she called me sexist and told me "although Im a woman, I can open a door" I replied with "i know, I like doing it" apprently shivery and old fashion values are sadly dead. I also found out at the bank the other week not to use the word ma'am.

If it ever comes around, I'll teach my children to use manners and "old" fashion values. I hate seeing males not holding doors open for females or the elderly.

[wrongwaynorris]

To the OP , NO you are not at all . Should be more of it , a LOT more of it .

" I remember going on a date a few months back, I opened doors for the girl (cause thats what i was taught to do on a first date). Her response... she called me sexist and told me "although Im a woman, I can open a door" "

That is where the date for me would have ended , god save us from rampant feminazis .

[xisled]

IMO calling people mr and mrs in this day and age, is hard. Most of it comes down to how a family is structured. Back 30 years ago woman would take the males name when they got married, but in today's world it does not happen, also more people are having kids and not getting married, so calling a couple mr and mrs blah may be incorrect.

My own self would hate to be called mr, I would much rather be introduced as Andrew. With the uncle and aunty thing, I find it wrong to call someone an aunty or uncle who is not related to me.

[zilo]

Thank god there are more people in the world like me, I thought i was alone by calling people Mr and Mrs on introductions.

Nothing worse than having to correct a pimply call center sales person who wants to call me "Andrew".

It's "Mr XXXXX" I correct them...

If they want my money they can use a formal honorific until permitted otherwise.

[xisled]

Originally Posted by Ugg

Thank god there are more people in the world like me, I thought i was alone by calling people Mr and Mrs on introductions.

Nothing worse than having to correct a pimply call center sales person who wants to call me "Andrew".

It's "Mr XXXXX" I correct them...

If they want my money they can use a formal honorific until permitted otherwise.

It is funny that you say that, because most call centre training states you should call the person by there first name. It the basics of building a relationship with the customer.

Interesting you make them say it correctly because they are taking your money.

[MarkAW]

Originally Posted by xisled

It is funny that you say that, because most call centre training states you should call the person by there first name. It the basics of building a relationship with the customer.

Who said that the knuckleheads training the call centre staff actually know anything?
I'm not a friend of nor want to be a friend of the jackass who rings me during dinner to change my energy supplier or whatever. The companies who I pay to provide services (energy, phone etc) have a business relationship and thats it. Wanting to be all buddy buddy is like holding up a red rag to me - it never ends well.

[cs123]

Originally Posted by MarkAW

Who said that the knuckleheads training the call centre staff actually know anything?

I would say they know a fair bit on how to best sell products. It's what they do and they are remunerated on how well they do it.

If you don't want to be annoyed by cold callers put your phone number down on the DNC register. Then you won't have people calling you and using your first name.

[xisled]

Originally Posted by MarkAW

Who said that the knuckleheads training the call centre staff actually know anything?
I'm not a friend of nor want to be a friend of the jackass who rings me during dinner to change my energy supplier or whatever. The companies who I pay to provide services (energy, phone etc) have a business relationship and thats it. Wanting to be all buddy buddy is like holding up a red rag to me - it never ends well.

They actually know a lot. That is why sales is one of the biggest industries. I love people who treat call centre workers like they are lower than them. This in itself shows the true way a person is. This thread is all about showing each other respect, but as soon as people are behind a phone this goes out the window.

When I worked in the call centre, and had someone abuse me for no reason, I pick up the phone and they would start screaming at me (I was not cold calling this was customers). This person would receive a call for a week around midnight 2am and 3am every night for a week.

The funny thing is most people forget that if you call a call centre and you are a customer and abuse the worker, they will have your full name, phone numbers and address.

[2011G6E]

I do the same thing...you'll be shocked how many people, especially women, are honestly pleasantly surprised if a man acts like a gentleman instead of an uncultured bogan all the time...

[SSD-85]

I was brought up old school, so manners are deeply embedded into my mind.

However, i am a bit tit-for-tat. So I express manners/give respect if its earnt.

But my rule is always to apply my mannerisms on first encounter, and then go from there as to how to personally judge whether theyve earnt it based on reaction thereon in.

[zilo]

Originally Posted by xisled

It is funny that you say that, because most call centre training states you should call the person by there first name. It the basics of building a relationship with the customer.

Interesting you make them say it correctly because they are taking your money.

yes mate, I know they are trained that way.

That's why I re-educate them, often I take a lengthy opportunity to explain to them why any intelligent person will see it as a form of manipulation at trying to make us pliable, to close the sale by "bonding" with me on a first names' basis.

I present to them the case that they blew it on "hello" and that that I hope they are recording the call?

For me, that blows your assertion that it is "the basics of building a relationship with the customer" and also exemplified by the majority of responses in this thread.

If you get a manager with NFI about manners to dictate call center policy then you simply breed ill mannered call center staff, whether their fault or not.

That's my view and I am sticking with it.

[holdzxr6]

I am 23 and was raised to address people in the same manner still do, i find you get a better response from everyone when addressing them that way, especially in customer service.

[poppa smurf]

only one thing to say....well done you...I'm a bit older than your good self and i remember the respectful days......to me they are far from gone but a simple matter of "what you give is what you get"

damn shame some of these "modern" young ferals don't have respect in their arsenal

[Kable72]

Manners are never going to go out of date. Sadly, it seems that they aren't being taught to kids today. I was taught my pleases and Thank Yous, to address people by Mr/Mrs, Sir/Ma'am etc. Though, strangely enough, I was never taught to call my Uncles and Aunties "Uncle XXXX" or "Auntie XXXX". I guess my family were pretty casual about that because none of my cousins address others in such a way. It's first names all round.