Cav's thread of posting lots of pics but not achieving very much

[Cav]

Well you know how it is, you stare at something every day and you think to yaself, "Self, geez I'm good lookin'."

But I digress.

Today I am going to repair the sliding screen door that the fat gutted dog has ruined.

Exhibit A



I blame the postman.

He comes every day at 1330 hours, oh, for youse dumb ugly BA boys - that's when Mickey's hand is on one and six - and the fat gutted dog lies in wait to attack the postie's throat. She resides inside, usually on my recliner chair where we watch TV together and when she hears the postie she charges off and mangles the screen door on the way as a foretaste to what she will do to the postie.

So I popped down to Bunnings just like every other poor bastard in town who is stranded at home and now has the time to those jobs we have been putting off.

I get some new screen, but not just run of the mill fly screen, I got me the pet flyscreen. We don't have any pet flies, but I reckon this is the just the ticket to keep the fat gutted dog in its place, you know, inside on the couch, with me.

Did you know that Bunnings display doggie doors near flyscreens? Hey, there's an idea, and only eleveney dollas!

Bargain.

I exit the store but only after struggling with 2 x 65 litres of potting mix that is obviously on the list of things to do tomorra that I haven't been told about yet.

Flyscreen - check



And what about that doggie door?

I do a test fit - check.



You can see the excitement on the fat gutted dog's face.

OK, I'm not stupid, well scrub that, I am not too stupid, but I know to remove the sliding screen door I have to adjust the adjuster thingies that hold the runners in place.

Oh, they look a bit rusted, so I spray them with WD40. I dunno if I need a philips head or normal headed screwdriver, so I try both - the adjuster thingies don't budget.

I go to plan B and kick the screen door off its runners. That'll teach it to mess with someone a bit smarter than the average sliding screen door.

OK, the screen on, and if you don't mind a rough-looking job - it looks terrific!



I'll trim those end bits a few weeks later when the mesh has had time to settle, at least that's what I told my wife.

Now to fit the doggie door.



That's when things started to stray from the strategic plan.

You see my military training means that I plan everything in advance. You know the old adage: "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

So I mastered the instructions on the doggie door, then ate the paper. No I didn't, that's only a thing they do on the movies.

The doggie door is designed to clamp together on either side of the screen, cut out the middle bit and use that bit to put screen stuff on the swinging door bit.

To see if this was feasible, I used an offcut from the old screen and it came up a treat.

This is the swinging doggie door bit, all ready to go.



"Things are going swell what?" as Monty would say.

Montgomery was the commander of the Eighth Army in the Middle East, and you probably know all about El Alamein and Tunisia and stuff. Just sayin'.

But I digress.

Oh, NO!

I can't clamp the two sides of the doggie door outline together. Well I can, but with just the slightest touch, they fall off. The swinging door bit worked OK, so why doesn't the outline bit?

The problem was the fancy fat gutted dog proof doggie screen - it was too thick and I couldn't clamp the two bits together, well I could if those plastic lug thingies didn't fall off.

What a bastard.

I should go back to Bunnings and do a Russell Crowe - you know, the phone wouldn't work in his room so he took it down and threw it at the bloke down in reception. I think the bloke ducked and the phone missed him.

Eleveney dollas gone to waste.

Change plans.

The door goes on without the door.

Did you know that you may be able to kick the sliding door off its slides, but it is an entirely different matter when trying to kick them back on.

"But where there's a will there's a way." I don't think Monty said that.

So I bashed it on and when it was pretty close I went into the kitchen to get a leveraging-on-tool for door sliders - one of the wife's good silver knives, they are stronger than the cheap ones.

Job done.

Take that you fat gutted dog.



I dunno about you, but I rate the success of a project based on the number of bits left over when I'm finished.

The lesser the number the better. I only had one bit left over.



I'll hide it somewhere so that you know who will never find out.

That just leaves me with one more thing to do.

[marty351]

I'll be honest, when I first read the thread title ,I thought.you were going to be involving one of these...

[Ben]

Dog doesn't look happy with the project.

[Beastie]

Maybe this might help?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDH82GxEx8Q

[Cav]

Originally Posted by Bongo Boy

Maybe this might help?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDH82GxEx8Q

Yeah, a Chinese bloke using Chinese stuff.

I'd like to see him try this with the mega mesh I wuz using.

[DFB FGXR6]

You have had a busy day Cav, you deserve some cake after all that!


Love your posts mate, they always brighten my evening.

[Cav]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

You have had a busy day Cav, you deserve some cake after all that!


Love your posts mate, they always brighten my evening.

[Work Horse]

I am seriously concerned when the postie turns up tomorrow fat dog will turn it's self into meat spaghetti trying to get through the new mesh.

Have you thought this through Cav?

[Cav]

Originally Posted by Work Horse

I am seriously concerned when the postie turns up tomorrow fat dog will turn it's self into meat spaghetti trying to get through the new mesh.

Have you thought this through Cav?

Do you think I'm stupid or sumting?

Of course I haven't

[nuthin' fancy]

Originally Posted by Work Horse

I am seriously concerned when the postie turns up tomorrow fat dog will turn it's self into meat spaghetti trying to get through the new mesh.

Have you thought this through Cav?

Rhetorical much?

[buggerlugs]

Looks like because of the virus "The men's shed" has gone online.........

[FairmontGS]

Subscribed!! this is prollaly going to be the best build thread on AFF.

[Cav]

It's bin 3 hours now and the fat gutted dog hasn't been able to make a dent on the newly installed pet flyscreen.


She can get angry at times as shown here ...



The new screen even keeps mossies out.

How's that for a win?

Feck I'm good, and good lookin' of course.

[Ross 1]

Originally Posted by Cav

It's bin 3 hours now and the fat gutted dog hasn't been able to make a dent on the newly installed pet flyscreen.


She can get angry at times as shown here ...

image

The new screen even keeps mossies out.

How's that for a win?

Feck I'm good, and good lookin' of course.

More bones in her diet or brush her teeth!

[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by Ross 1

More bones in her diet or brush her teeth!

Her teeth are in better condition than mine

[whitelion65]

Originally Posted by Franco Cozzo

Her teeth are in better condition than mine

You still got yours.. ;-)
I’d picked you as a Collingwood supporter 😜

[Cav]

Originally Posted by FairmontGS

Subscribed!! this is prollaly going to be the best build thread on AFF.

You're prollaly right

[marty351]

A bone donation whilst brushing doggo's teeth sounds good! Who's first?

[Cav]

Originally Posted by marty351

A bone donation whilst brushing doggo's teeth sounds good! Who's first?

I need my fingers to count my pension money.

[LG17]

Originally Posted by Cav

I need my fingers to count my pension money.

You get pension money!
Geez you're lucky

[Cav]

Another day another project.

I'll have to get the name of the thread changed from project to projects.

When I picked up the magic flyscreen from Bunnings I also got a Ryobi spray thingy.

I had a Karcher for a number of years but through neglect, it sheet itself months ago.

So why a Ryobi?

Four year warranty that's why, plus it was cheap.





See that tank on the bottom?

That's one of the reasons why I chose this one - I can put detergent in it and spray clean the windows outside the house as well as use it to wash the cars with this stuff.



So far today I have cleaned the front deck the front doors and windows and the front sliding doors as well as the rear deck, rear windows and rear sliding doors plus the Fairlane and the Territory leaving a trail of soap suds and wet stuff all around the house so that my wife can see all the good work havoc I did today.

So how was this new fangled spray thingy?

Well, in a word it was mediocre, run of the mill, fair to middling and passable.

It has two settings, apart from on/off. There is an adjustment to the stream from broad to narrow and also high pressure/low pressure.

The restricting thing is that the detergent will not flow on high pressure, I would have preferred an on/off switch for the detergent. But maybe that would have changed the $139 price.

Still, the cars came up OK. All I did was apply the detergent, waited a few moments and washed it off and let them dry.

The detergent covered the cars OK but not in as thick as foam I have seen on other bloke's project cars. I will up the strength next time and see if it is betterer.

Heck, I may even get some of that overpriced Bowden's foam seeing as I haven't quite spent all my $750 pensioner's stimulus money.

This I how the Fairlane came up.





BTW, did you catch that little plastic thingy near the rear wheel?

That was only one of the two things that fell off the spray thingy

Yeah I know, the grass could do with a mow.

Did I tell youse I have a Ryobi battery mower? My next project.

[Cav]

Woo Hoo

There's the other piece that fell off!

[Tonz]

Originally Posted by marty351

A bone donation whilst brushing doggo's teeth sounds good! Who's first?

postman

[hayseed]

Shoulda Got a Bigger Doggy Door, One big enough for a Drunken CAV to sneak home through without waking SWMBO.........Just thinking..

[deesun]

Well so as not to want to kick the door down in frustration I got someone in to install our doggy door. Geez it was hard getting the money out, not.

[wodahs]

to help with the "Re: Cav's thread of posting lots of pics but not achieving very much" thread Cav ive pm'd ya my addie n a list of whats ta be dont too , and im sure a few othas could help ya out as well with more things ta do

[Cav]

Originally Posted by wodahs

to help with the "Re: Cav's thread of posting lots of pics but not achieving very much" thread Cav ive pm'd ya my addie n a list of whats ta be dont too , and im sure a few othas could help ya out as well with more things ta do

I can't have sex with you Wodahs because I am not a homosexual but I once had sex with a bloke who was.

Not that's there anything wrong with that.

[wodahs]

Originally Posted by Cav

I can't have sex with you Wodahs because I am not a homosexual but I once had sex with a bloke who was.

Not that's there anything wrong with that.

Nah social distancing so I'll be at the pub whilst you do the odd repairs but dont worry I'll bring ya some bar snacks

[Cav]

Went to Rocky earlier this week to witness business plans about crowd control during the pandemic packs of marauding customers.

First off is the medical appliance store
A sign at front door says don't come in if during the last fortnight you have been overseas/interstate, have a temperature or a head cold.
we step inside and as my eyes were adjusting to the dark (they must be saving on power) I started to move to the right where the ladies I have dealt with before reside - I had an appointment.
Suddenly the banshee yells something from the desk on the left.
Oh, look there is a sign saying wait here.
Over comes the gestapo apprentice and grills me on what I have been doing the last couple of weeks.
I don't really listen, a skill I have developed over time, and I say no to whatever questions she asked.
Then I wait for my appointment person. I have to stand as the waiting chairs have been removed.
I stand and wait, a sheila comes out, a discussion takes place, I can't go into her office because of the rules, so I stand where the waiting chairs used to be and we talk business as she puts on gloves to handle an appliance I brung with me.
Business completed and I turn to leave.
Miss gestapo is still on the prowl however I notice that she is not observing social distancing with other staff.
I may never go back.

Officeworks
Oh, plenty of signs out the front but I don't read them.
We walk inside and there is a bloke behind a bunker system, no hang on, it's just lots paper reams that resemble a bunker. Am I being triggered? Then I realise they are there so that I can't get close enough to spit on him.
I joke about his accent.
He doesn't laugh.
I mentioned what I need and he refers me to an aisle.
I turn and notice that there are arrows indicating one-way traffic in the aisle.
My aisle has arrows pointing towards me.
So I turn around and walk backwards down the aisle.
Bunker man raises a laugh now that I am out of his spitting range.
At the cash register I see that they have installed bank screens so I guess I can't spit on them either.
In front of the register are more reams of paper which prevent me from getting too close and I just manage to reach the paywave jigger being careful not to leave any fingermarks on.

Then to the maul.

Optometrist
Are they open or shut?
The lights are on but the door is only partially open.
An assistance asks if she can be of any assistance.
I enquire about getting new lenses in my glasses which I show her.
She advises that unless it is urgent they can't do anything.
I say it is not urgent.
Food Hall
We traverse the food hall, or rather what used to be the food hall.
The Army must be using it as a new training ground obstacle course. There are no chairs but plenty of tables. There are signs on the tables which I don't read and where there are bench seats that haven't been ripped out to stop people having the temerity to sit on them, they are covered in chains and more bits of paper with writing on them.
Most food serving places are in darkness.

Woolies
We finally arrive at Woolies to pick up a few essentials we need.
There are no empty shelves except for hand sanitisers, I suppress my panic because I know back at the home bunker we only have 25 of these left.
At the fast checkout, the old checkout chick is hidden behind another bank screen.
She is wearing a facemask, so I keep getting her to repeat everything she says twice.
I make a joke and she laughs.
I like this place.
It seems her hubby is in the RAAF, I dunno how I got such sensitive information out of her, but Raafies and related families are fair game to Army blokes.
She mentions various bases hubby has been posted and I start to wonder how I can get her to STFU.
I mention Raymond Terrace is a great place and as a discussion starved person from NSW now living in Central Qld she starts to describe in great detail where they used to live, something about up a hill and my eyes start to glaze over. I cut her off by saying druggies lived in that street.
Having successfully put **** on her we are off to the next place.

Bunnings
Wire barriers greet us as we traverse a maze of temporary fencing into the store. Thank goodness there are no bunkers.
I ask the good lookin' check where I can find high-pressure spray thingies and doggy doors.
Tool area and aisle eight.
We head off and I ignore her pleas for my phone number.
Pressure spray thingy selected - check. It has a four-year warranty.
Doggy door - check, although we really don't know what 'mms' are and I settle on a door 'for small to medium dogs' which should be just ideal for the fat gutted dog even if it was made in China.
Just to be sure there is no risk of any infection, I'll give it a good wash with the pressure spray thingy before I attempt to fit it, a simple installation job that should only take me about a week.

I'm ready to head back to Yap-Hoon, but hang on, you know who wants to go to the nursery area down the other end of the store.
On the way we check out some cane chairs we don't need.
We get another must-have item from the nursery and then prepare to leave the store.
On the way back I sit on one of those creaking unsteady cane chairs to prove they are indeed ****.
We are then marshalled into a queue that has 1.5 metre masking tape on the floor and we halt at the grande poo bar queue marshall himself. I note that he needs a stop/go thingy.
He motions us to a sales point - she is the oldest and ugliest one there.
I protest that I want a good looking chick even though there are none about.
The sales lady who is probably older than me laughs.
I like this place.
She then has a joke with Paula about getting nice young men to serve them.
They both laugh.
I hate this place.

We leave Rocky and get back to Yap-Hoon without being picked up by the 'having no reason to drive' nazis.
I have a cuppa and a nana nap.
I just woke up and I realise that with our new acquisitions I now have some jobs to do around the house.

I tell Paula I'll get started on them right away, tomorra.

[roKWiz]

Originally Posted by Cav

I mention Raymond Terrace is a great place .

I believed most of the story until this.