R.I.P Mum

[Sam_Boss260]

I feel a bit awkward typing this and starting this post, but as with alot of things, often writing things down (or typing in this case) can help the process.

My mum passed away last Tuesday (14th June) and we buried her this week, on Monday. Whilst mum was very sick with complications from diabetes - mainly heart failure/fatigue and renal/kidney failure, it still a shock to us. She has been very ill and was in hospital for the last three months. Towards the end, I think that she was about to start to suffer as her kidnies were starting to shut down.

Mum passed away in her sleep on Tuesday afternoon, and I am glad that she didn't suffer anymore for too long. Mum also had moderate dementia so she never understood the full extent of her illness, but she still remembered all of us. She just forgot many other things and struggled to understand logic sometimes.

I was the last one to see mum and speak to her before she passed.

This has been the hardest week of my life, and going up to tell dad in person mum was gone was very difficult. So too was the funeral on Monday. Carrying her coffin, and then placing it in the vault, touching her for the last time was just gut wrenching stuff.

My dad is 79 years old, and just lost his partner of 54 years, so our focus now has to be that we are strong for him. He is truely a trooper and my admiration for him has increaed 100-fold.

I don't expect people to respind to this thread, and I apologise if it is a little morbid, but I guess I just wanted to share. Even though mum had the church packed with standing room only and I have a large family, I also consider this forum part of family in a funny way.

R.I.P Mum.... you will be sadly missed forever...

[benoxr]

Sad to hear Sam__Boss260.

Its no consolation I know but everybody has their day. Think of all the good memories and check out a lifetime of photos. It sure would have been hard telling your father. Been there myself.
Stick by the good people you know, that will help.

cheers
shane

[Ford_The_Win]

Good on you for posting that mate, it's healthy to share this sort of stuff and let it out. Sorry for your loss.

[Scott]

Damn Sam, terrible news. Look after Dad and look after each other mate.

As you mentioned, passing in ones sleep seems a nicer way to go.

Rest In Peace.

[flappist]

Losing parents and partners is always very hard.

My sincere condolances and R.I.P.

[Geez Louise]

Very sorry to hear that Sam but I thank you for sharing

My condolences to you and your family.

Colleen

[stang65]

Condolences mate I have lost them both, thank god I have my inlaws although they can`t replace my parents they help.

Be strong with time the hurt will diminish but never forget that she is the reason you are on this earth. Be there for your Dad and don`t forget the special times you shared as a family.

[Fireblade]

Very sad, my condolences and R.I.P.

[fiery]

Deepest sympathies to yourself, your dad and all the family.
R.I.P

[NickosBF2XRT]

A tough time for sure mate. All the best for you and your family through this tough time!

[Sam_Boss260]

Thank you guys..... I never imagined just how hard this would be.

[FTE217]

Mate good on you for posting for I'm sure all you will get is best wish's and support and that lightens the heavy heart.
Sincere condolense's to all your family and RIP Mum !

[Fled74]

I never know what to say when someone loses a loved one, for fear that my words will ring hollow and empty. But still, please accept my deepest sympathies for you and your family.

[nuthin' fancy]

Condolences Sam. I feel for you, went through the same thing 10 year ago. Don't let today's pain cloud a lifetime of memories.

[Chopped]

Still coming to terms with mine passing 2 years ago. Think about it everyday.

My condolences to you and your family. Sad time.
(Try to keep talking about it though as it definitely helps)

[GYRKIN GT]

Sam, condolences to you and I wish you and your family all the best.

One year ago, almost to the day, (15 June 2010) I lost my Mum unexpectedly. My Mum had been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma 11 years before her death and for the majority of those years she remained in good health. When you consider most people succomb to the disease within 5 years, our family was extremely lucky to have her with us for all that time. On the day she passed, Mum was to undergo a bone scan as part of her ongoing care for myeloma. She collapsed immediately following this routine scan (around 11am) and was then taken to hospital. There, following a number of tests, it was discovered she was significantly Anemic and required a blood transfusion. Our family left the hospital that evening, around 7pm, assured that everything would be okay. She was to receive the transfusion soon after our departure and we could return in the morning. Around 9pm, my Father received a call asking him to return to the hospital. Mum had arrested before receiving the transfusion.

Sam, I know what you mean when your write "This has been the hardest week of my life". It will be the hardest week, month, 6 months or whatever period it may take until you start to feel less empty. Rest assured Sam, a day will come when you actually do start feeling better or, more appropriately, you become aware that you are, in fact, living and coping. This might sound a bit out there, I don't know, but every night, before I sleep, I still say good night to her. Every morning, I say good morning.

Take care Sam and continue to do what you've already started, keep communicating.

John

[GT0132]

Sorry to hear of your loss Sam...It's a tough time indeed mate...Life can be cruel sometimes ..Take care

[Ryan]

Sorry to hear about your loss Sam. The feeling of losing a loved one is one of the hardest things a human can sustain.

Keep positive mate. It's really difficult to over come, but over time the pain will ease. Just remember we're all here for you.

[Andy777]

Condolences Sam, i know how you feel, almost 4 years to the day, 15th june 2007,

you have to stay strong, and in these hard times you find it brings you closer to your siblings, and other family members, nothing is worse then seing your mother (or any family member) suffer, and not being able to help them :(

RIP

[Sam_Boss260]

Yeah, I think about her almost every minute right now, which does not make it any easier. And I do miss her terribly. I know that in time, the immense pain will go away, but still it hurts.

Thanks for talking and letting me talk about it....

[Geez Louise]

Focus on all the good and happy times you had together Sam... the grief will get easier over time...You may not believe it now, but it will.

[The Yeti]

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

I feel a bit awkward typing this and starting this post, but as with alot of things, often writing things down (or typing in this case) can help the process.

Couldnt agree more I have done this very same thing in this forum after my father passed away last year

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

My mum passed away last Tuesday (14th June) and we buried her this week, on Monday. Whilst mum was very sick with complications from diabetes - mainly heart failure/fatigue and renal/kidney failure, it still a shock to us. She has been very ill and was in hospital for the last three months. Towards the end, I think that she was about to start to suffer as her kidnies were starting to shut down.

Mum passed away in her sleep on Tuesday afternoon, and I am glad that she didn't suffer anymore for too long. Mum also had moderate dementia so she never understood the full extent of her illness, but she still remembered all of us. She just forgot many other things and struggled to understand logic sometimes.

I was the last one to see mum and speak to her before she passed..

Mate I know this feeling I wasnt the last to speak to my dad I was the one who found him and, while it was gut wrenching at the time, I now consider it an honor to be the one who A found him and B gave it my all to try to revive him

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

This has been the hardest week of my life, and going up to tell dad in person mum was gone was very difficult.

mate I know how hard this is, and I messed it up big time, in my case the Ambo's had just got there and the phone rang and I just droped the ball and told her.

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

So too was the funeral on Monday. Carrying her coffin, and then placing it in the vault, touching her for the last time was just gut wrenching stuff..

in time I think like me you will look on this as quite rewarding, in my case I went from seeing him on the floor of his workshop and doing CPR (as dad colapsed he banged his head casuing a head injury as well) so when my mum got to see him the corroner and pathologist had poked and prodded him so there was a pool of blood under his head so Mums last memorys was of her partner, best freind and sole mate lieing in a pool of blood in a mechanics workshop floor. so the final veiwing on the day of the funeral while at the time was almost imposable looking back the last time I saw my dad / hero, was dressed in his sunday best with the tie we all teased him about looking peicfully asleap, and carrying the coffen to the ford hearse was one of the proudest moments in my life.

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

My dad is 79 years old, and just lost his partner of 54 years, so our focus now has to be that we are strong for him. He is truely a trooper and my admiration for him has increaed 100-fold.

Mate look out for your dad, my mum was a tower of strength at the time, and a few months later we noticed a few things we put down to her finaly showing her softer side (she is normaly a very effectionate person) and other signs of stress and depression, until she had what we thought was a stroke in early January this year. turns out is was a kind of stroke as she had 11 tumors in her brain and one of them bled, this was a symtom of advancced lung cancer now hopfully you dont have the same run of bad luck my family has but keep an eye on your dad hes loved your mum for over 54 years he's going to struggel and hes going to try and be the tuff guy, let him know its OK to cry (I dont think that will be easy dealing with a 79yo guy about his feelings)

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

I don't expect people to respind to this thread, and I apologise if it is a little morbid, but I guess I just wanted to share. Even though mum had the church packed with standing room only and I have a large family, I also consider this forum part of family in a funny way.

R.I.P Mum.... you will be sadly missed forever...

Mate we we're the same we had the curch bulging at the seems, and it was great to see that so many people cared enough about my dad and our family to come, and as for using this forum why not we all will have to go through it at some point or an other

[craigrobinson]

Mate, my thoughts go out to you. My dad past away 1 year ago last wednesday. so feeling for you mate.

[Jason[98.EL]]

Sorry to hear Sam my deepest condolences to you and your family

As others have stated above greaving will take time but doing as you have done and talk/type about it will help with the healing in your heart

May your Mother Rest In Peace

And I hope you get peace in this tough time

Jason and Helen

[FTe342]

We all know that we are here on a temporary assignment, and the inevitable will happen to our loved ones at some time. Even when we know that time is getting closer, thru age or ill health, its never easy when it does happen, and still takes a long while to get over.

Your right Sam, as you can tell from the posts above, we are all family here

[Sam_Boss260]

Too many quotes to quote... so here goes.

To YETI.... Yeah I was the last one to speak to her and see her awake. And when I left she gave me the cheekiest smile / grin, that I will never forget. I was the one that the nursing home called. They called me by mistake instead of my sister and I had to call my sister and brother to tell them the news.

Then after we saw mum, we had to go and get dad. It was amazing to see her before they took her away, as she truly looked like she was sleeping, she looked so peaceful.

I didn't go and see her at the funeral home in the coffin, as I was scared that if she didn't look the same, that I would not be able to get that image out of my head. I wanted the last image that I could remember her to be the one where she looked peaceful and sleeping. Strange I know, particularly when I really wanted to see her one last time, I opted not to.

To GYKRIN... I know what you mean by that empty feeling. It is horrible and truly the worst feeling in the world. Like someone has ripped your guts and heart out.... just surreal.

To the others who have also lost loved ones... I now know what it feels like, and it sucks. So even if it was some time ago where you have also lost, I am sorry for your losses - I truly am. This has to be the worst feeling in the world right now, and it really does suck.

[DJM83]

Sorry to hear mate, its always very sad when something like this happens. Ive had 2 grandparents pass and it wasnt fun.
Keep your chin up bud.

[AUIIPURSUIT]

burying your parents is a normal part of life. Burying your children should never have to happen.

Whilst losing a loved one is very hard, at least you know they are comfortable again. Shes in no more pain and looks down over you all. Your dad has just lost the biggest thing hes ever known. I know youll be by his side. He will feel very lost for the time to come and needs his family.

Ive had to say goodbye to quite a few family members for someone my age. No funeral is easy, but when someone is gravely ill at least there is some time for acceptance, even though the actual death still shocks you. Ive lost a couple who were healthy and had many good years before them. I find those the hardest to cope with.

As Im sure others have said, cry good and hard quickly. But then you should be able to talk amongst others close to her about all the good times. Reflecting on happy times makes you appreciate all that you had, not all that you have now lost.

chin up mate, she would much rather look down and see you happy as soon as can be.

rip.

[ebxr8240]

While the memories are still there your Mum hasn't
gone completely.. She's in all your harts...
Thanks for posting on here...
Yes what I miss about parents passing is there's no one to ring
and talk about any more..
I guess you become the next step up the ladder??
My condolences..
Graeme...

[98TLS]

Sorry for your loss fella,bit lost for words really.I dont know you but feel your pain and wish you all the best.