Young girl who was the face of Akubra takes her life at age 14 after being ‘overwhelmed’ by online bullie

**FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0** · 10-01-2018, 12:30 PM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-bullying.html

This is a shocking story, and I mean that literally! My deepest and sincerest condolences to 'Dolly's' parents, family and friends.

Every parent out there needs to stand up and take responsibility for what their kids are doing and saying to others on line. If you don't know what your kids are up to, it is YOUR responsibility to make sure that they are not part of the problem. Instill courtesy and respect in your kids. It is no one else's responsibility than yours.

And whilst my words may not mean much to a 14 year old, if you are being bullied, please remember there are a lot more people out there that respect and love you for who you are than the handful who choose to make themselves feel better by putting you down.

If you need help, please, please, please talk to someone about it. This world will be a much worse off place without you!

Whilst it can be a difficult step, please reach out to someone! If you do nothing else, please at least call one of the below numbers:

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800

NTF6 · 10-01-2018, 01:00 PM

Disgusting pigs who bullied her need to be held accountable!!

NTF6 · 12-01-2018, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NTF6

Disgusting pigs who bullied her need to be held accountable!!

Couldn't come soon enough.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/rea...92ed05a150577e

au350hp · 07-02-2018, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NTF6

Couldn't come soon enough.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/rea...92ed05a150577e

Remember that these kids are learning these attitudes from their parents.

commodorenutt · 08-02-2018, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roostercam

Remember that these kids are learning these attitudes from their parents.

Exactly.

At the last parent/teacher night I was able to pick the parents of the class bullies without even knowing who their kids were. The 7yo thought I had a superpower!

And parents who don't give a stuff, or tell the victim's parents the kid needs to harden up, should be held more accountable.

b0son · 08-02-2018, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roostercam

Remember that these kids are learning these attitudes from their parents.

No, they're learning it from each other. Trolling and flaming are simply part of online culture. Most parents didnt grow up doing this stuff, and blaming the parents passes the buck up the chain. Its the kids that need to be accountable first and foremost. Arguably, the biggest problem is that schools take no action. They might separate problem kids, suspend them for a few days, but it never goes beyond that. Even assaulting a teacher is no guarantee of expulsion.

**FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0** · 09-02-2018, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b0son

Arguably, the biggest problem is that schools take no action. They might separate problem kids, suspend them for a few days, but it never goes beyond that. Even assaulting a teacher is no guarantee of expulsion.

I'm glad you started that sentence with the word arguably, coz I really struggle to see how much of this is a school issue. Now, I'm not suggesting that you are implying this b0son, but I hate people who try and make any social issue the responsibility of teachers and schools. Parents have the prime responsibility for the way in which a child is reared. It is not the government's responsibility! It is not a school's or teacher's responsibility! It is not a club's responsibility!

Sure, all of those organisation's that a child interacts with has influence, but it is not their responsibility. If the organisation is not a positive influence on the child, then the parent has the ability to either counteract that or influence the organisation so that it changes. Or remove the child from that influence.

Our kids are influenced by so many factors, that not all of them can be responsible. The parent should be and is the only constant. The buck stops with the parent.

I do agree that schools, and teachers, have a role to play, but it does absolve the parent(s). Even if the school only separates the kids or suspends them for a few days, what action are the parents taking? That is far more likely to be influential than anything the school tries to do.

IMHO of course.

au350hp · 09-02-2018, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by b0son

No, they're learning it from each other. Trolling and flaming are simply part of online culture. Most parents didnt grow up doing this stuff, and blaming the parents passes the buck up the chain. Its the kids that need to be accountable first and foremost. Arguably, the biggest problem is that schools take no action. They might separate problem kids, suspend them for a few days, but it never goes beyond that. Even assaulting a teacher is no guarantee of expulsion.

Our basic views and ideals are instilled by our parents, not other children. You know whats right and wrong by the time you start school. Dysfunctional kids come from dysfunctional homes. It is the schools job to teach education, it is the parents job to lead by example and teach life.

Junkyard-Dog · 10-01-2018, 01:28 PM

Rest in Peace.

**solarite_guy** · 10-01-2018, 03:01 PM

Mutants on social media.

These social media organizations need better self monitoring and should take a degree of responsibility as well. They provide environments that are all too easily able to descend into a Lord of the Flies scenario on the internet.

Maka · 10-01-2018, 03:44 PM

My condolences to the family & friends of Amy (Dolly), no child or person deserves to be subjected to any online evil like that.

Like previously mentioned, i hope & pray charges will be laid, sites also need to clamp down on this now before they become liable, this type of online activity needs government intervention to stop it now imo.

cheers, Maka

Adamz Ghia · 10-01-2018, 05:38 PM

That a 14 year old child with her whole life ahead of her felt her only way out was to kill herself is heart breaking. As a society this is what we have become.

Why any 14 year old has social media is beyond me. There is no good reason for them to have it.

Tonz · 10-01-2018, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adamz Ghia

That a 14 year old child with her whole life ahead of her felt her only way out was to kill herself is heart breaking. As a society this is what we have become.

Why any 14 year old has social media is beyond me. There is no good reason for them to have it.

exactly, while I do sincerly feel for her family, we as parents need to be bolder is allowing our kids their 'so called freedom'

My rule was you will have freedom to 'watch what want and go where you feel like' when your 18 and or leave this family....notice I said family... not house.

We were not bullyies, my wife and I had ground rules that were upheld and (most) times respected, we were touch but shared a lot of respect and love esp to our daughters.
Now they are both in their 30's and families of their own AND putting the same ground rules down.
Was it easy? Is it easy now for them? NO but love and attention to their childrens lives makes a huge difference.
I was at one daughters house and heard one of her daughters friends say...."Wow I wish I had parents like yours, who knew what I was watching, talking to and doing."

Itsme · 11-01-2018, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tonz

exactly, while I do sincerly feel for her family, we as parents need to be bolder is allowing our kids their 'so called freedom'

My rule was you will have freedom to 'watch what want and go where you feel like' when your 18 and or leave this family....notice I said family... not house.

We were not bullyies, my wife and I had ground rules that were upheld and (most) times respected, we were touch but shared a lot of respect and love esp to our daughters.
Now they are both in their 30's and families of their own AND putting the same ground rules down.
Was it easy? Is it easy now for them? NO but love and attention to their childrens lives makes a huge difference.
I was at one daughters house and heard one of her daughters friends say...."Wow I wish I had parents like yours, who knew what I was watching, talking to and doing."

I know what you are trying to say but sadly you cannot watch kids 24/7 and as for letting young immature children on social media is a problem itself that cannot be controlled properly no matter how hard you try.
Peer pressure is another problem to control.

Unfortunately Bullying has always been an age old problem.

**FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0** · 10-01-2018, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adamz Ghia

That a 14 year old child with her whole life ahead of her felt her only way out was to kill herself is heart breaking. As a society this is what we have become.

Why any 14 year old has social media is beyond me. There is no good reason for them to have it.

I don't want to enter into a discussion on the subject here, as I think it takes away the focus from where it should be, but, as a parent of a 12 year old myself, I think kids can have access to social media and still be safe. My wife and I have hopefully instilled in our daughter an understanding of the dangers of being online, how she should act whilst she is on line (respect and courtesy) and regularly check exactly what she has been up to.

Nevertheless, at tea tonight we had another discussion with her, based around this particular story. We re-iterated to her that, if she was being picked on, she should talk to someone about it. If that is not us, it could be either of her grandmothers, her school friends, a teacher, an auntie or uncle, or even one of the help-lines in my original post.

We also discussed with her about how the people who were picking on Dolly would now feel, and how she would handle that if it was her. We made it perfectly clear to her that any of that sort of behaviour is not, and never will be, acceptable and that if we found out about it, there would be consequences.

commodorenutt · 11-01-2018, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psychobimbo

...
Nevertheless, at tea tonight we had another discussion with her, based around this particular story. We re-iterated to her that, if she was being picked on, she should talk to someone about it. If that is not us, it could be either of her grandmothers, her school friends, a teacher, an auntie or uncle, or even one of the help-lines in my original post.

This is exactly what all kids need to know, and have reinforced occasionally.
We have our niece & nephew living with us. The niece is now 7, but back when she was 5 she was being bullied at school. She kept it to herself, and eventually the signs began to show - not wanting to get out of bed etc, when she'd previously loved going to school.

She ended up confiding in me, and was adamant she didn't want her father to know. We came up with a plan of action together, and without any violence, defused the situation well - shutting down the point the bully was feeding on with pure logic.

To her, there was no solution, and this kid - a 5 year old boy, was making her life hell. He had found out about her parents divorce, and decided to carry on that her parents didn't want her, and she was a reject. He had no clue what had gone on in her life, or her extended family. I logically explained to her that we actually chose for her to come & live in our place, but his parents had no choice - they had to get what they were given when he was born, whether they liked it or not. So it's like picking the best apple at the fruit shop - we chose the best one there (her), and his parents were handed whatever the shopkeeper gave them (him), so she's extra special because she was picked out. She used that analogy to shut him down, in front of several of his cohorts, and it stopped immediately.

Since then, she's come to me several more times to talk about issues, that she doesn't want other adults in the family to know about, and we've talked them through to either come up with a solution, or put things in perspective so it doesn't feel like the world is closing in on her. Kids can be so cruel - she changed her hair from one day to the next, and a girl decided to have a go at her. Lo & behold, the next day, this girl had her hair done the same. So now we laugh about how she was so jealous she had to copy.

So maybe the key with some kids is to have a trusted relative - under the same roof or not, who they can talk to, and "keep a secret" (in a positive way, not negative) so they don't lose that trust, but can talk things out & work on solutions together.

And don't ever think kids are too young to be the victim of a bully. At first I couldn't believe a 5 year old boy could be one, but it opened my eyes, and I've even witnessed a 3 year old bullying another kid at a play centre.

**FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0** · 12-01-2018, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psychobimbo

I don't want to enter into a discussion on the subject here, as I think it takes away the focus from where it should be, but, as a parent of a 12 year old myself, I think kids can have access to social media and still be safe. My wife and I have hopefully instilled in our daughter an understanding of the dangers of being online, how she should act whilst she is on line (respect and courtesy) and regularly check exactly what she has been up to.

Nevertheless, at tea tonight we had another discussion with her, based around this particular story. We re-iterated to her that, if she was being picked on, she should talk to someone about it. If that is not us, it could be either of her grandmothers, her school friends, a teacher, an auntie or uncle, or even one of the help-lines in my original post.

We also discussed with her about how the people who were picking on Dolly would now feel, and how she would handle that if it was her. We made it perfectly clear to her that any of that sort of behaviour is not, and never will be, acceptable and that if we found out about it, there would be consequences.

Just a follow up to this post, it is interesting the number of parents we have talked to since the story of Amy came to such prominence that did a similar thing to us and used Amy's story as the catalyst for having a discussion with their kid(s).

If you are a parent of a young person, I'd also suggest that Amy's story is a perfect opportunity to either open up dialogue with your kid(s) or to reinforce any discussion you have had with your kid(s) previously.

Yes, it is a difficult discussion to have, but Amy's story may just resonate with them.

You never know, this just could be the one conversation that changes their life. Maybe not right now, but at some point in the future.

LTDHO · 11-01-2018, 07:20 AM

Sadly bullying appears to occur much to often across all ages by coward on social media.

Can/will it stop?
Nope, it is too easy to do and get away with.

Unfortunately it leads to the loss of a life, taken by their own hand because they just wanted it to stop and they could only see one way to do it.

malazn mafia · 11-01-2018, 10:53 AM

Part of the reason I don't believe in having children. Everybody gets bullied at one point or another, and some unfortunately have hearts of glass which shatter and they end up doing this. I don't reckon it's to do with upbringing either, as either you have a toughen-up-princess personality or you don't. It's a cold world out there and I reckon most would have avoided being born at all if given another chance.

Junkyard-Dog · 11-01-2018, 12:00 PM

Just a tragedy, whatever the details. If the person responsible for the bullying has a conscience, this should torment them for the rest of their life.

uniacidz · 11-01-2018, 01:40 PM

RIP

Sad story

CoupeKing · 11-01-2018, 11:49 PM

What's just as sad is that incidents similar to this have been occurring for decades, way before social media, but get swept under the carpet.

Don't take then for granted, communicate with your kids.

Junkyard-Dog · 12-01-2018, 12:22 AM

I reckon things might actually be worse with the internet/social media being what it is today. The abuse can be transmitted directly into the home 24/7 now.

Danny · 13-01-2018, 12:43 AM

Compassion here for this poor little girl and but yet there are two current threads mostly viciously laughing, deriding and bagging out those LGBTI “freaks” and degenerate weirdos...

Sabantien · 13-01-2018, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny

Compassion here for this poor little girl and but yet there are two current threads mostly viciously laughing, deriding and bagging out those LGBTI “freaks” and degenerate weirdos...

Noticed the same thing.

While it's not necessarily the same people on the threads, it's still happening and nothing is done about it.

**FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0** · 06-02-2018, 01:30 PM

Yet another devastating story has come to light regarding Amanda Brennan. Amanda took her own life at the same age as Dolly (14) because of the bullying she had received on line.

Again, I encourage all parents of kids sit down and have a discussion with them about how much these things can impact on peoples' lives, either as a victim, an antagonist or as a friend or relative of either.

The pain and anguish that Amanda's mum is suffering is so obvious. I'm not ashamed to say watching this story had me very emotional.

Amanda's Story

au350hp · 07-02-2018, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sabantien

Noticed the same thing.

While it's not necessarily the same people on the threads, it's still happening and nothing is done about it.

You can add to that list those who can't grasp why our obsession with beauty & a perfect body is devastating young girls & boys from childhood well into their lives. Doesn't anybody stop to think who makes things popular and why? Do people think that 6% off the worlds population owns 100% of the worlds media is a well balanced model? People need to question more instead of going along with all the other loser's, making decisions without even questioning why? Look at our obsession with plastic surgery these days compared to 20 years ago. And we are shocked that young kids take their lives? I'm not, it's just sad that we have become so obsessed with image when it's all in vain & means nothing. We are remembered for our actions, not our looks.

superyob · 11-02-2018, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny

Compassion here for this poor little girl and but yet there are two current threads mostly viciously laughing, deriding and bagging out those LGBTI “freaks” and degenerate weirdos...

How does one link the tragedy of a little girl to that of degenerate perverts?

au350hp · 11-02-2018, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by superyob

How does one link the tragedy of a little girl to that of degenerate perverts?

Your description of these people ''degenerate perverts'' is unfortunately, a perfect example of the link between the two. It is called having a 'sense of entitlement'.

MITCHAY · 13-01-2018, 12:54 AM

RIP. That's pretty messed up a 14yr old kills themself. There a lot of kids killing themselves at very young ages these days and that it is disturbing.

The thing is bullying is nothing new but why is it so bad now? Is it solely down to social media or just the same old **** but worse these days.