Your Best Call

Fev · 14-01-2008, 02:09 PM

Well you know when someone says something either stupid or just something random and you say somthing bakc that just completely owns them? Well whats your most memorable call back to someone you know? or even just a cool call you couldnt use any time you have thought up :P

"I cant believe how stupid you are! prepare for a pride obliterating B---- SL-P"

Geoff EL 4.0 · 14-01-2008, 02:16 PM

i was out once and this kid who always talks alot of bs and he was going on about something that probably wasnt true,i interupted and said "Ey mate from now on, stop, think about what your saying...and then speak, i dont want to here about your fairy tales ok mate"
he didnt say a word for the next 10mins and everyone around me was laughing and yer thats one of the best i can remember

Fev · 14-01-2008, 03:11 PM

lol thats just puttin him in his place

SirJuggsalot · 14-01-2008, 03:34 PM

It wasnt by me but me and my mates were walking around a shopping centre when were were about 15, and these older blokes, must have been around 19-21, were wolf whistling at a bunch of chicks. One of them yelled out "Hey baby, you can sit on my face anyday!" to which she responded "Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?"

Even 10 years later it always brings a smile to my face when I think of it.

vandrsxr6 · 14-01-2008, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirJuggsalot

It wasnt by me but me and my mates were walking around a shopping centre when were were about 15, and these older blokes, must have been around 19-21, were wolf whistling at a bunch of chicks. One of them yelled out "Hey baby, you can sit on my face anyday!" to which she responded "Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?"

Even 10 years later it always brings a smile to my face when I think of it.

Awesome

TheSneakiness · 14-01-2008, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirJuggsalot

It wasnt by me but me and my mates were walking around a shopping centre when were were about 15, and these older blokes, must have been around 19-21, were wolf whistling at a bunch of chicks. One of them yelled out "Hey baby, you can sit on my face anyday!" to which she responded "Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?"

Even 10 years later it always brings a smile to my face when I think of it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by T3ts50

My best was a few years ago. One of my mates, who had never been with a woman before commented on how I was a 1 minute man. I replied back saying thats 1 minute more than him.

: both times there.

sfr rob · 14-01-2008, 03:38 PM

: hahahaha. Unreal, now that's a Quick witted girl!

T3ts50 · 14-01-2008, 03:40 PM

My best was a few years ago. One of my mates, who had never been with a woman before commented on how I was a 1 minute man. I replied back saying thats 1 minute more than him.

Guess you had to be there.

3vXT · 14-01-2008, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T3ts50

My best was a few years ago. One of my mates, who had never been with a woman before commented on how I was a 1 minute man. I replied back saying thats 1 minute more than him.

Guess you had to be there.

So he'd never been with a woman but he knew you were a one minute man? How many other men had he been with?

I'm just kidding

I had a friend that was in the same situation. New years eve a few years ago, Some friends and i were walking to a pub after having a few beers at home first. There were parties all over town and lots of young women running around and i told him "Don't worry, if we see any naked girls i'll point them out so you know what they are"
Another had to be there moment i guess

Another friend has 'girl with a pearl earing' on dvd. I picked it up and told everyone that i'd complete the set for her. Didn't really own anyone but it got a few laughs.

Bax · 14-01-2008, 04:45 PM

Note these aren't my calls, not all of them anyway.. I got bored one day and compiled a list of calls that mates had made for various reasons.

Your as hot as ice
Why was I born - always said the morning after a big night
A mates girlfriend said 'what's a jizz rag?'
We nicknamed a mate the treble rebel as for his taste in music.
Also known as top 40 gordy

That’s contaminous
Take all the hard subjects and fail is a classic
Supey bupey - was something to do with red rooster
Princess DIE
Park in a grave ya f*ckhead!!
People with tattoos can't fight
Kasplode
Jaffles - it's something you catch when you have sex with a red head.
My old man came outside one night talking about a storm.. 'it's not coming………………. Its HERE!'
Is that vemon??
Im not wearing much of jocks
I need some protein for my bad boy
I just don't want to look at you 24/7 little own in a skirt
Every cake I bake, every I take
Cooooouuuuugggggggaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr
Chinese rice
This was an actual quote 'they don't mark us much good on our english? Hey?'
Just a little bit some
And when a mate was singing that oh life song.. Another mate goes 'is that al dante??' meaning to say adalante but still way off..

Many good times in there.

DENKO · 14-01-2008, 06:40 PM

best comment ive wripped was when my mate said to go have a look at a lancer with him and i replied "id rather look at bedroom floor"

3vXT · 14-01-2008, 06:42 PM

I got zinged myself on another forum not long ago.
The other member was being a jerk, and wasting everyones time.
I told him to 'eat fat c**ks', and he replied with 'thanks, i was wondering what to have for lunch and now i know'. I disagreed with everything he was posting but credit where credits due, that was a pretty good come back

XR6_661 · 14-01-2008, 07:08 PM

Lol, I was at a bike race once (Downhill) and I didn't have a seat on my bike, anyway, some smart A yelled out, 'You got no seat there mate!' SO i yelled back 'Yeah, I leant my bike to your mum and this is how she returned it.'

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bax

Jaffles - it's something you catch when you have sex with a red head.

My girlfriend has red hair hahahaha.

BENT_8 · 14-01-2008, 08:14 PM

My nephews a funny pr..., he's always sending me messages calling me a bit.. and lots of other colourful names.
One day i sent him back one pretending to be my wife, telling him she had my phone and thanking him for his compliments....
He instantly rang appologising and sh.. to which i let him go unknowing that it was me on the other end until he finished and i laughed at him.
he was fumin!

Then he sent me a joke about the similarity between women and KFC.
He had worked at KFC and got sacked and recently split with a chick so i replied to his joke saying the similarity was that both of them dump his sorry .
That shut him up.

bf tubs · 14-01-2008, 09:44 PM

when some one is wrong u just say

"at least a broken clock is right twice a day"

AU2PWR · 14-01-2008, 09:52 PM

Im going to Bi7ch slap you like a Red haired Step Child ..

mik · 14-01-2008, 10:11 PM

can`t remember any good retorts (hey i`m old), but i did however pull a good scam call on an old work mate who i see 2 or 3 times a year, he`s over the other side of town, i remembered last time we spoke he had some tax problem so i put on my best official voice and and asked if i could speak to mr joe .... he answered and i mentioned to him i was from the taxation office and we may have to do an audit

, i conned him and his wife for about 10 minutes before bursting out laughing, and copped some ear bashing and some new swear words, he rang me not long ago and did something similar ......he got me good, but we always remember the first scam call it was a doozy.

10secondET · 14-01-2008, 10:16 PM

"you need to go to sleep, so you can wake up to yourself"

Interceptor · 14-01-2008, 10:30 PM

working as relief manager at a small cinema a couple of years ago, the junior and i had been swapping "yo momma" jokes for a lil while, got the people in and started the movie and this is what was said

him: phil, its ok ya know
me: wtf?
him: you want my mum dont you
me: duuuuude..... why would i want your mum
him: i know you want my mum
me: off mate
him: ha! i knew it! you want her bad!
me: man, why would i want your sloppy seconds?
him: dude.......... eeeeeeeew! *cue silence and a smirk from me*

[Tonko] · 14-01-2008, 11:10 PM

Haha, i cant think of any off the top of my head, except one....
At Hungry Jacks Drive through and we had to pull up and wait to get the rest of the food....
So me and the missus are sitting there, (she was telling me how the girl that took our order used to tease her at School) when the same girl waddles out, and said...
"Sorry about the wait" *glaring at the missus*
So i told her "Dont worry love, you'll lose it"
And took off...

T3ts50 · 15-01-2008, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by [Tonko]

Haha, i cant think of any off the top of my head, except one....
At Hungry Jacks Drive through and we had to pull up and wait to get the rest of the food....
So me and the missus are sitting there, (she was telling me how the girl that took our order used to tease her at School) when the same girl waddles out, and said...
"Sorry about the wait" *glaring at the missus*
So i told her "Dont worry love, you'll lose it"
And took off...

Nice one

Racecraft · 15-01-2008, 12:13 PM

having bbq when this girl started complaining bout uncircumcised men have littler tackle than other men.. My reply to this day is still mentioned "Well it is better than your twat, every period you devour your tampon like horse eating sugar cube." <-- you got to think of the mental image

GreenMachine · 15-01-2008, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Racecraft

having bbq when this girl started complaining bout uncircumcised men have littler tackle than other men.. My reply to this day is still mentioned "Well it is better than your twat, every period you devour your tampon like horse eating sugar cube." <-- you got to think of the mental image

... and Tibbo was never invited again!

mcflux · 15-01-2008, 12:47 PM

"Where'd you get YOUR shirts from? The... toilet... store?"

irlewy86 · 15-01-2008, 12:50 PM

Not my call, but used it to prefection.
A friend was studying psychology and doing the old psycho anyalasis on me about me dumping my girlfriend. "You don't trust women do you?"

" I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and still doesn't die."

boss-290 · 15-01-2008, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irlewy86

Not my call, but used it to prefection.
A friend was studying psychology and doing the old psycho anyalasis on me about me dumping my girlfriend. "You don't trust women do you?"

" I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and still doesn't die."

lol man

This thread reminds me of that other thread, "Things that people should.. and I mean shouldn't have said".

Olympus · 15-01-2008, 04:59 PM

A coupla years beack,
This dude at work that everyone dislikes, heard I bought a new car. He came up to me and said:"Hey Paul, I heard you bought a clubby. What colour is it?" which to i replied (not being in the mood to talk to this clown) "Yeah, it's a slight shade of SHUT THE @$%* UP!!!"
End of conversation, the audience went nuts.

BlackLS · 15-01-2008, 05:18 PM

I usually wear the same black shoes, pants and belt to work and rotate through 10 or so shirts. One day I came into work wearing a black shirt, so I was dressed all black.

Our finance manager shouted to me "Hey Chris, looks like your going to a funeral!"

I replied back, "Yes... Yours!"

Bossxr8 · 15-01-2008, 05:41 PM

I just remembered Bill Hicks stand up comedy, when the 3 rednecks came up to him after the show. Bill always took the pss out of religion. One guy pushed him and then said, "Hey buddy, we're Christians and we don't like what you said".

His reply.

"Then forgive me".

One of the best calls I ever heard was a mate at work. The leading hand was folding up a piece of paper into a boat, when my mate yelled out to him "it looks like the boat you sailed over here in". Everyone was in tears.

ltd · 15-01-2008, 06:40 PM

One Sunday night after a huge Saturday night I was out with a couple of mates having coffee and this girl that we all knew turned up. On the Saturday night this girl ditched our group so she could score drugs; so you could imagine that we weren't too plussed with her. I asked her "Why did you leave us like that, we were actually worried as one minute you were there, the next you were gone". She answered with this heart wrenching tale from her youth about her uncle interfering with her and her parents not believing her about it and she was in tears. As she was coming to the end of the story there was one of my mates who hadn't been listening; even took a phone call in the middle of it. Anyway, she asks us what we would do in her position with tears welling in her eyes and my mate turns around and says, "Tell the Salvo's, they care".