From a Guys Point of view, what would you do ?

[buggerlugs]

http://www.news.com.au/national/ex-h...-1226207566985

DNA proves man is not child's father, mother must pay back nearly $13k

From: Herald Sun
November 28, 2011 12:00AM

DNA test proves man is not boy's father
Mother must now pay back nearly $13k
Magistrate sees "collateral damage" to child

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/national/ex-h...#ixzz1ezluIktG

If he wasn't mine after 13 years, he'd sure feel like mine.....

[FrogInASock]

Sperm doth not a father make. How many stepdads make better fathers than the previous sperm donor?

[duaned]

Finally justice has been served! Poor boy is the loser in all this though.

[Spudz27]

I would be the same. For years you raised this child thinking he was yours, the shock of it would see me stop contact, but only while I got my head around the situation, after that I would sit the boy down, explain the situation.

[Road_Warrior]

Originally Posted by Spudz27

I would be the same. For years you raised this child thinking he was yours, the shock of it would see me stop contact, but only while I got my head around the situation, after that I would sit the boy down, explain the situation.

I think I'd be the same. There would be initial shock and anger probably that would alienate myself from the whole thing, but the father in me says that I couldn't just walk away from the kid for life. I think in the long run, the Dad would be poorer for it as much as the kid will be.

[Lotte]

Obviously, can't comment from a blokes perspective. BUT!
My ex was almost going through something similar, with his kid. Even though he had only ever had weekend access, he was firm in the belief that if the kid weren't his, he'd still be there for him.

[Gobes32]

I could never just walk away, the child believes you are his father, you have raised him as a son, blood is not the be all and end all of a happy father son relationship. We do not knoe the background story of course, but it seems a bad turnout for the child/young adult.

[DANNO178]

Originally Posted by Gobes32

I could never just walk away, the child believes you are his father, you have raised him as a son, blood is not the be all and end all of a happy father son relationship. We do not knoe the background story of course, but it seems a bad turnout for the child/young adult.

Very good point , just imagine that they both never found out , they would have lived a happy father son relationship just the same as someone who were
related by blood .

[Geez Louise]

I work with a guy who knew his partners child wasn't his and he has been there through thick and thin even though he is no longer with his mum.

There are some good guys out there. This, to me, appeared to be a case of he asked, was constantly told the child was his and he needed to be sure he was.

The outcome in this case - the boy has now lost the only person he knew as his Dad. Sure he might not be biologically his, but how can you just walk away from 13yrs of being someone's Dad? You have to feel for the kid.

[cs123]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

The outcome in this case - the boy has now lost the only person he knew as his Dad. Sure he might not be biologically his, but how can you just walk away from 13yrs of being someone's Dad? You have to feel for the kid.

That is just tragic.

[GT0132]

My feeling is that the "father" has every right to accept the $13k in return for the child support he erroneously paid. She should now claim against the biological father, who is the one with the obligation to pay child support. The difficulty with that is, even if he is able to be found, CSA can only go back 3 months to claim arrears, so she'd only get it going forward.

I have no sympathy for the mother...she played around behind her husbands back, got pregnant and made her ex husband pay the price.

As to the fathers relationship with the child, I couldn't just stop loving my son if i found out he wasn't mine and can't see any rationale for him now disowning him. It wasn't the kids fault

[MITCHAY]

It would seem to me that the man in question probably did not have as close a relationship as you'd think and has been released from his obligation. If it wouldn't matter why would you take the test?

[FGII-XR6]

I feel for the boy loosing the man he saw as his father but if the mother knew the blame is all hers. taking 13K like that is fraud and if there is proof she knew she should be charged with fraud. there are too many men supporting children that aren't theirs and if they don't make an example of the guilty party there is no incentive not to rip off men

[Chopped]

BAD BAD BAD mother.
It's pretty messed up that the lady would do that to others.

I feel sorry both both the child and the man.
(not sure how the man can just leave a child he thought was his for 13 years either)

Poor kid.

[BHDOGS]

Hell yes i say make her pay back the money with interest take her house and possessions to leave her laying in the gutter like the gutter cheating mole she is and take the kid to live with u or maybe i have an extreme view haha

[boss54]

Originally Posted by BHDOGS

Hell yes i say make her pay back the money with interest take her house and possessions to leave her laying in the gutter like the gutter cheating mole she is and take the kid to live with u or maybe i have an extreme view haha

I agree with this.

[Springfield_Johny]

Anyone can be a father, but not everyone can be a good dad. While this guy is not the boys father, he is still his dad

[buggerlugs]

Originally Posted by Springfield_Johny

Anyone can be a father, but not everyone can be a good dad. While this guy is not the boys father, he is still his dad

That is so, so true..........

[Bossxr8]

Why didn't he take a DNA test years ago if he knew his wife was a cheating slag.

[HLC]

The story says that the mother brought up the issue that the 'father' looked nothing like the son.

She ruined this, she deserves to pay the money back and i can completely understand why the 'father' has wiped his hands and left.

He hasn't just been betrayed once, but twice. Once when she cheated, and again when she basically admitted the child wasn't his.

Good on the father for standing up to her and taking the test and claiming the cash back.

It would be very difficult to walk away and the child is the loser, but I can't help but think that I would do the same?

[uranium_death]

Originally Posted by HLC

It would be very difficult to walk away and the child is the loser, but I can't help but think that I would do the same?

After raising a child for so long, yes, there'd be initial shock and possibly a bit of a walking-out, but I actually expect him to return in time once things settle down.

I hope we don't hear about it, because frankly, it's their business and not ours...

I wish all parties the best of luck and I hope that both the Dad and son are able to enjoy each other's company...

[gtxb67]

Originally Posted by HLC

The story says that the mother brought up the issue that the 'father' looked nothing like the son.

She ruined this, she deserves to pay the money back and i can completely understand why the 'father' has wiped his hands and left.

He hasn't just been betrayed once, but twice. Once when she cheated, and again when she basically admitted the child wasn't his.

Good on the father for standing up to her and taking the test and claiming the cash back.

It would be very difficult to walk away and the child is the loser, but I can't help but think that I would do the same?

agree - it is the mother's fault, not the father's and yet the father somehow gets the blame. if she was honest and not fraudulent, then the kid would not suddenly be losing a father

[buggo]

Didnt the dads mother mention It when the kid was four? Not the kids mum?

Pretty sucky deal for the kid but, hopefully, if the 'dads' a good bloke, he'll stay in the kids life and chances are some of the $13k will go towards him anyway.

[HLC]

Originally Posted by buggo_gt

Didnt the dads mother mention It when the kid was four? Not the kids mum?

.

I may have misread

[Serial_Fool]

Exactly, the guilt trip shouldn't be put on the faux-father but on the mother, who lied and recieved money for a child that wasn't his.

If we forget about the implications for the kid: how would you like being ordered by law to pay for things that you had no legal responsibility for?

There is a difference between involuntary help (mandated by law), and voluntary help (the good of one's heart). He can choose to support the child if he wishes.

[mik]

pretty sad for the kid and the .....ex father, as for the woman, if i was the ex dad, i would`nt be forgiving her anytime soon.

[zdcol71]

I hope Steve Wilko's sitting in the bleachers.

[buggerlugs]

I think it would be a major shock for all involved, I think/hope the father may come around. It is certainly not the 13 yo boys fault.......