Driver personalities based on brand choice.

[washoutbeach]

Lets have a look at the subliminal messages seeping out of drivers who drive popular models.

Jeep driver:

Image: outback guy, kind of a vehicular bear grills, ex cub scout, hero.
Reality: Old hack with beard missing the 1960's, still watching Skippy on pay tv. Cant walk down to the shop let alone run a marathon.

Holden driver:

Image: Middle aged parent looking to fit in with a stock standard car.
Reality: With some exceptions, generally a brain dead bogan who just wants to fit in. Lacks creativity.Drinks too much. Used to be the form bully. A man-child. Boaster.

Subaru

Image: Young guy with sunglasses trying to impress girls with a lawn mower.
Reality: see Image. Lies and cheats profusely. Changes lanes without using blinkers. Immature.

Volvo:

Image: safe driver, boring as, too scared to drive over 50 kph.
Reality: A road hazard who should never have been issued with a licence. Gets excited surveying boxes at supermarkets.

Korean

Image: Wants value for money, loves toys and gadgets.
Reality: Too cheap and stingey to buy a decent car. Never shouts.

Audi/VW/BMW

Image: European flair and style. Wealthy and sophisticated.
Reality: dodgy, slimy, perverted psychopath who needs attention (undeserved). Loves expensive services and parts. Kids starve so dad can look rich.

Ford

Image: wheres our marketing?
Reality: Handsome or pretty, clean cut can-do person. Commander of the road proximity and knowledgable about cars. Friendly but with insight into human nature. Someone you can trust. Solid true-blue Australian but with a world-view. Progressive, kind and generous.

Who do you want to be?!!

[Iggypoppin']

This reminds me of sourbastards old thread....
Good write up but after seeing two ford blokes today I'd put it like this!

Image: middle aged family man with an eye for value and a need for a large car for towing.
Reality: slightly overweight mid 50's male with mullet, stained tracksuit and faded ford jacket. Reminisces about "the good old days" when "cars where made of steel!". Ensures male spawn appear as adult. Thinks his early 90's falcon is "extremely modern".

Tongue in cheek people!

[Jim Goose]

Originally Posted by Iggypoppin'

This reminds me of sourbastards old thread....
Good write up but after seeing two ford blokes today I'd put it like this!

Image: middle aged family man with an eye for value and a need for a large car for towing.
Reality: slightly overweight mid 50's male with mullet, stained tracksuit and faded ford jacket. Reminisces about "the good old days" when "cars where made of steel!". Ensures male spawn appear as adult. Thinks his early 90's falcon is "extremely modern".

Tongue in cheek people!

Hey im not middle aged and mines an AUII... still extremly modern...

[2011G6E]

I'd say that's a bit out of date...
A more accurate and up to date one would be:

Jeep driver:

Image: outback guy, kind of a vehicular bear grills, ex cub scout, hero.
Reality: Trendy young thing...trying to make a point of some sort. Look at the new TV adverts...guy says to girl "you bought a Jeep?". Rarely used off road, even though they're very very capable.

Holden driver:

Image: Middle aged parent looking to fit in with a stock standard car.
Reality: The occasional bogan, but they're dying out as VN's steadily wear out and move on to old Subaru Imprezas. Company cars and family vehicles only just keeping their nose above water against a flood of better equipped and sometimes better built imports.

Subaru

Image: Young guy with sunglasses trying to impress girls with a lawn mower.
Reality: Someone who's onto a good thing. Most young guys can't afford a WRX, so will buy an old non-turbo RX or something and put WRX bonnet scoops and kit on them.

Volvo:

Image: safe driver, boring as, too scared to drive over 50 kph.
Reality: Modern ones? Great cars, ever since the designers found the set of French Curves to do the drawings with instead if straight edged rulers, also dynamic and fast...especially stuff like the old T5's. Old ones? Hippies have moved on from Kombis, which are now expensive collectors items, to old Volvo wagons with the aerodynamics of a house brick.


Korean

Image: Wants value for money, loves toys and gadgets.
Reality: Wants value for money...and gets it. Not to be sniffed at...people once laughed at Japanese cars and said they'd never catch on.

Audi/VW/BMW

Image: European flair and style. Wealthy and sophisticated.
Reality: dodgy, slimy, perverted psychopath who needs attention (undeserved). Loves expensive services and parts. Kids starve so dad can look rich.
Erm...pretty accurate, and nothing to aspire to...except for the amazing S8...

Ford

Image: wheres our marketing?
Reality: See Commodore above...

[chevypower]

There's two types of Subaru drivers:

WRX (as above)
Outback/Forester/ Tribeca drivers: tree-hugging, NorthFace jacket with cargo pants-wearing person who is in to hiking, rockclimbing, kayaking, and cycling. They are proud of their decision to buy an economical alternative AWD to a "gas-guzzling SUV."

[Geez Louise]

All I can say is, thank goodness we middle age woman who driver Toyota's were left out...

Cheers
Col

[GK]

Here's my 2 cents worth! LOL!

Ford Driver
Image:
Person who is missing the point of all the wonderful products and marketing of the opposition manufacturers, instead driving an outdated and fuel guzzling beast, not in line with today's standards. They are clinging to a company that's about to totally go bankrupt and shut down their Aussie operations.

Reality:
Clever, loyal and well informed individual, who sees through marketing hype, who buys outstanding, modern, fuel efficient products at a great price, who secretly hopes that the company they're clinging to doesn't go totally bankrupt and shut down their Aussie operations!

Cheers!

GK

[madwag]

can i add to the Ford one: Scholars, Gentlemen, Handsome.....

[blk6t]

The main difference I see between Ford Falcon drivers (Holden drivers) and the rest of the general driving public, is that we care about the engine that powers our car, the history of the brand and it's roots, generally the stuff that doesn't really matter anymore in the eyes of the general public.

Weather you like it or not, we are all the same as our fellow enthusiasts over at LS1.com.au. We all care about big HP, big engined, RWD cars and utes.

The rest of the general public care about getting from A-B in the most fuel efficient, trendy, reliant, tech filled import available on the market in they price range they can afford...they generally don't care about RWD vs FWD, also don't care about how much boost your car makes, don't care about having 8 cylinders and generally don't care about Ford's Falcon or Holden's Commodore...

[Rockape]

The rest of the general public care about getting from A-B in the most fuel efficient, trendy, reliant, tech filled import available on the market in they price range they can afford...they generally don't care about RWD vs FWD, also don't care about how much boost your car makes, don't care about having 8 cylinders and generally don't care about Ford's Falcon or Holden's Commodore...[/QUOTE]

Sad isn't it. The way i see it they are missing out. To me driving is so much more than getting from A to B.

[superfly]

This is pretty dumb. I was a Subaru driver for 14 years. First a Liberty RS Turbo (bought in 1997) and then a MY99 WRX (bought in 2000 age 30). Sold the MY99 in March this year. So I was far from young, plus I don't cheat or lie nor do I change lanes without my blinker.

Wife still drives a MY01 WRX which she bought in 01.

[Bearman]

Here's one from our club newsletter way back in 2005!!! To be read in the context this was 7 years ago.

Tongue in cheek - No offence intended!!

ALFA ROMEO. Passionate and romantic, you fancy yourself. A bit unreliable, and can be eccentric too. You hate BMW drivers, but think and act just like them.

AUDI. You would like to believe you are part of the new generation that is caring, environmentally conscious and family-orientated. Actually quite boring; nothing more than a glorified wuss. Will one day probably drive a Merc, but you still sometimes wonder if you shouldn't have bought that Bee-Em

BMW. Self-centred, ambitious, dynamic and assertive. Can be a big show-off pig. Likes impressing too. You think you will be CEO one day. Actually an office weenie who thinks you are God's gift.

DAIHATSU. Faceless, subservient and demure (except for Matiz drivers). To you, a good deal is to work from nine to five, get nothing for it, and still say thank you. And then you wonder why you don't have money for a good time after hours.

FIAT. Cute self-confident girls climbing the corporate ladder with ball-breaking as their hidden agenda. Will take everything you own if she divorces you.

FORD. You still live in the 70's, trying to cope with the 00's (don't even mention the millennium). A loyal, diligent worker, but baffled by office politics and labor policies. Next car will probably also be a Ford.

HOLDEN. You’re the ultimate on-road ******. You think your 80s model Commodore is a V8 supercar, OR you think by owning a Barina you’re a true Holden fan. You’re either a redneck or a way-too-standard family parent – either way, you most likely drive like you’re the only person on the road. You’re even ignorant enough to argue that the new Commodore is better than the new Ford.

HONDA. You aspire to drive a BMW. You are an opinionated pain-in-the-butt. The ultimate suffragette, or the boss's girlfriend (male or female!).

ISUZU. You like the smell of diesel and have secret fantasy of being a truck driver.

HYUNDAI / KIA. Quite progressive, intelligent and practical. But misguided. The kind of person who will suggest a sub-committee to find solutions to what the committee couldn't. You will always maintain that a Korean car is better than any Japanese model.

JEEP. You would like to believe you are living the American dream and just love the great outdoors. The closest you get to it is by watching Days of Our Lives and the Adventure Channel.

LAND ROVER. You are a designer person with a designer life, who always pays too much for everything. Designer mud comes free with the badge. You're a closet colonial racist and have fantasies about the Queen. If you have a Freelander, it was probably a break-up gift from your ex.

MAZDA. A Ford driver with less money. Mostly staid boring with no image and less imagination. Lots of retired people drive Mazdas. You're in the way and should get off the road.

MERCEDES BENZ. Responsible, immaculate and conservative. Boring CEO clones with too much money, or the office super-geek who can't remember what it's like to have fun. Definitely not dating material.

NISSAN. Good, solid, responsible, loyal office-fodder. You like to travel and maintain that you can sell ice to the Eskimos. Favourite answer: "It's a company car."

MITSUBISHI. Not as label-conscious as your Land Rover counterpart, but still suckered into believing in the ultimate Paris-to-Dakar, African adventure. You drive through puddles to create your own designer mud. You believe you've made the grade, but everyone else knows you've got a long way to go.

PEUGEOT. Thinks France is the best country in the world and bores everybody with your limited French knowledge and tales of the Louvre and the Sourbonne.

PORSCHE. Small male appendage or mid-life crisis.

RENAULT. An eccentric who likes doing things the wrong way around. Usually the one who asks all the silly questions at staff meetings. You fervently believe you have flair, but it's less than that of a French cookbook. Most probably gay.

SSANGYONG. A make-believe fool, because you'd like a Pajero but can't afford it. Don't actually know that the engines are made in India and not in Germany.

TOYOTA. Although there are thousands of them, you mostly can’t spot them in their zero-image cars. Toyotas are good, reliable cars and are bought by a wide variety of people who have zero personality to go with their cars and are basically chicken-**** scared people who will never take chances and will therefore be driving Toyotas forever. The most zero-image car in the world?, ... a white Corolla

VOLKSWAGEN. Highly overrated for dependability cars since the days of the Beetle, but they do have a good re-sale value. Usually practical, sensible people who like to drive fast where nobody can see them. They are usually loyal to their brand to the point of irritation due to the fact that they lost their virginity on a Beetle's back seat.

VOLVO. As square and safe as the car.

[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by Bearman

ISUZU. You like the smell of diesel and have secret fantasy of being a truck driver.

Thats pretty much me.

[Ford_The_Win]

Originally Posted by Bearman

VOLKSWAGEN. Highly overrated for dependability cars since the days of the Beetle, but they do have a good re-sale value. Usually practical, sensible people who like to drive fast where nobody can see them. They are usually loyal to their brand to the point of irritation due to the fact that they lost their virginity on a Beetle's back seat.

I am not one to judge but I feel that this one needs to be amended.

VOLKSWAGEN. Despite ridiculous servicing and maintenance costs, they are wildly popular with both inner-city yuppies and newlywed suburbanites keen to appear trendy and free-spirited to their latte sipping friends from Richmond - latte made from free range, organic and rainforest friendly coffee beans, of course. 'I'm an inner city hipster with an arts degree, a middle class background and only a vague idea of what the real world is like, that's why I bought my Volkswagen. Plus, the latest Neon Indian album sounds marvellous on the stereo system. We're a bit over Subaru'.

[washoutbeach]

Originally Posted by Ford_The_Win

I am not one to judge but I feel that this one needs to be amended.

VOLKSWAGEN. Despite ridiculous servicing and maintenance costs, they are wildly popular with both inner-city yuppies and newlywed suburbanites keen to appear trendy and free-spirited to their latte sipping friends from Richmond - latte made from free range, organic and rainforest friendly coffee beans, of course. 'I'm an inner city hipster with an arts degree, a middle class background and only a vague idea of what the real world is like, that's why I bought my Volkswagen. Plus, the latest Neon Indian album sounds marvellous on the stereo system. We're a bit over Subaru'.

Thats it.

When you drive up beside them you can sense their genuine disgust at being oppressed by that green-hating, heat generating, carbon dioxide emitting ford falon next to them that is destroying their planet and polluting the air they breathe.

So you turn the air con up full bore and press the windows down as far as they can go, because as we all know, thats creates one of the most comfortable driving environments, closely approximating driving a Mustang convertible but without the bad hair.

And there is their poor little one in the back with his Avatar dolls and green frog hug toy made of pure wool from feminist sheep at Nimbin. But what this kid really wants, he wants a toy semi-automatic he can pretend to shoot someone with.

And when he gets home, they will help him plant the little pansies they bought him in his garden but all little Milliard is thinking about is getting his mates Bmx and putting bloody big track marks through the centre of the family "peace shrubbery"

And years later, for his 18th, they are going to buy him a second hand hybrid so he can drive his best friend around and be forced to listen to her depressive and manic rantings that because he is a male, he is a second class citizen, a rapist, a murderer and all that.

And the poor emo bastard, he actually believes it.

[pottery beige]

i am a proud flanno wearing bogan...

[washoutbeach]

Some dodgy stats and info for the panel to consider:


1. On a per rata basis, Ford drivers appear less frequently in official crime statistics than drivers of any other brand of car.

2. In comparison with Holden drivers, Ford drivers are more likely to:

a) Obey traffic signs
b) Slow down when approaching crossings
c) Stop by the motorway to assist an injured pet or person

3. Adam Phillips likened the interior of the VE Commodore as having "less taste than a bottle of aging draino"

4. Ford drivers spend less money having to service their cars and replace worn tyres than Holden and Toyota drivers combined.

5. You are more likely to survive a horrific car crash in a Falcon than in a Commodore.

6. There is more technology in the modern Ford Falcon that was developed in the decade ending 1970.

7. Blue is more congenial colour that red.

8. A female in a Ford is more likely to be respected and treated more kindly than the same female in a Holden.

9. The 2002-Falcon exterior produces better aerodynamics that the Lamborghini Countach

10. Ford own Mazda.

[dylancox]

Someone do up a profile for: Great Wall, Proton, Suzuki, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Bentley, Skoda, Chrysler, Lexus

[EL97]

Originally Posted by washoutbeach

Subaru

Image: Young guy with sunglasses trying to impress girls with a lawn mower.
Reality: see Image. Lies and cheats profusely. Changes lanes without using blinkers. Immature.

Your kidding right? Most Subaru drivers are middle aged and drive like nannies (exception: wrx owners), they buy the car for the safety of the awd system and are usually very cautious. (Basing this on 22 hours of driving a week).

[mr smith]

Originally Posted by EL97

Your kidding right? Most Subaru drivers are middle aged and drive like nannies (exception: wrx owners), they buy the car for the safety of the awd system and are usually very cautious. (Basing this on 22 hours of driving a week).

Yup, the new Volvo driver.

[washoutbeach]

lol at those who are taking it all too seriously!

Chill...!

Toyota

Image: Reliable, standard, everyday car.
Reality: Inferiority complex, embarrassment to be seen in. Good for new immigrants who's rich uncle had one back in the old country.
My mechanic jumped out of a VZ commie to get a brand new 2012 model Camry. He parks it at the back of the shop so no one associates it with him (true).

Great Hall.

Image: Cheap and cheerful
Reality: Someone who wants to set a trend and be regarded as clever because she saved a fortune on a ute.

Then of course, she missed the dialogue on the factory floor at Wichun Factory No 457

(as translated)

Chiangxi: Wang, that line on the plans is not part of the stolen Ford Ranger design from the pig dog capitalists imperialists, it looks like the outline of a dropped chopstick (wipes the plans and reveals more tech drawing)...See!

Wangster: Oh, I thought that it a bit strange that the steering column should be connected by the wiper blade to the rear window handle. But uncle, I have a very bad admission to make. I am ashamed.

Chiangxi: What have you done my young grasshopper?

Wangster: We have already exported 12,000 of these models to Australia. The ship has almost landed at Newcastle.

Chiang: No worries, I will call Great Hall marketing and tell them to sell them to those stupid aussies as a special "rear seat driver" option.

Wangster: We can call it DCO variant. Those dumb bogans wont have a clue it stands for Dropped Chopstick Option.

Chiang: Ahh, you are learning the industry well my son.

Wangster: Factory menu features Pickled Ferret Brain soup tonight, You bloody beauty.

[svo supporter]

What if you own more than one of these brands at once...Makes you totally screwed up, with a personality disorder?

Handsome or pretty, clean cut can-do person. Commander of the road proximity and knowledgable about cars. Friendly but with insight into human nature. Someone you can trust. Solid true-blue Australian but with a world-view. Progressive, kind and generous.

Middle aged parent looking to fit in with a stock standard car.
Reality: With some exceptions, generally a brain dead bogan who just wants to fit in. Lacks creativity.Drinks too much. Used to be the form bully. A man-child. Boaster.

So if you own both a Holden and a Ford, you're a clean cut brain dead bogan that lacks creativity, but is kind and generous, when it comes to getting drunk. (Yep, australian style, I'll agree).

Can't see where the thread is heading really

[290GTP]

Ha, my neighbor owns a VN, a VT an AU & an XR6 turbo. He's in a world of hurt.

[wulos]

A couple of wild stereotypical generalisms, that undoubtably apply to owners of any of those makes.
Let's just enjoy this for the tongue in cheek humour it offers rather than turning this into an us v them bunfight..

[aualright]

I was cutoff by a bloke in a Prado who failed to use an indicator. I shook my head as I pulled up beside him at the next set of lights and he accused me of being 'one of those Merc *******'.

I was in my 2003 CLK 320 (hardly new) and wondered if I had of been in my AU XR8 what would I have been? A Ford bogan?

Worse still, if I was in my wife's Volvo XC90 I would have been a 'bloody Volvo driver'.


****

[IDT]

I left the blue oval and now drive a BMW. Man I am truly screwed. How dare I waste the oxygen of others........ Just goes to show how selfish I am. My children are forced to go without food whilst I cruise the cafe strip. Whilst it doesn't give me the right to own a foreign car, I simply wouldnt be able to live with myself if it wasnt for the fact that my tax dollars keep those foreign owned Ford and Holden factories open whilst they assemble foreign built parts into Aussie cars. Now where are those cyanide pills???

[stevz]

I don't know what it is about VW Golf GTI's, but the people who drive these seem to be complete tossers. Everytime I see one it's weaving in and out of traffic at high speed with complete disregard for road rules or other road users.

[my_gxl]

Originally Posted by stevz

I don't know what it is about VW Golf GTI's, but the people who drive these seem to be complete tossers. Everytime I see one it's weaving in and out of traffic at high speed with complete disregard for road rules or other road users.

The police drive them too. Your judgement must be correct.

[flooded one]

Originally Posted by my_gxl

The police drive them too. Your judgement must be correct.

i've seen the police break a few laws when driving. no sirens or lights on either. but they seem too drive commodores when they break laws. like other commodore drivers around toowoomba. think theres a pattern developing here!!

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by wildrider

i've seen the police break a few laws when driving. no sirens or lights on either. but they seem too drive commodores when they break laws. like other commodore drivers around toowoomba. think theres a pattern developing here!!

Definately...A biased one