Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated.

Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 28-02-2005, 09:51 AM   #1
normell
Regular Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 81
Default aNother jOke

3 surgeons were sitting around in a pub discussing their most impressive work.

The Englishman said "I had a patient got caught in a combine harvester - all they could drag out was a finger. I took that finger and built a hand for it. Attached that hand to an arm and the arm to a whole new body. The fellow fully recovered and when he went back to work he was so efficient he put 5 men out of work".

The Russian said "I had a patient who was incinerated in a nuclear reactor. All I got to work from was a hair from his head. To that I attached more hair, a head and I put that head on a whole new body which I built myself. The operation took 36 hours straight. That fellow recovered and went back to work and he was so efficient he put 20 men out of work".

The American said "a few years back, I took a fart, wrapped an ******** around it and called it George Bush. He was so damned efficient he put the whole county out of work".
__________________
Every day above ground is a good day.

Still Drinking & Driving, But Not At The Same Time
normell is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 28-02-2005, 10:00 AM   #2
bindi
Redhead extraordinaire...
 
bindi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Blue Mountains, NSW
Posts: 2,049
Default

Boom boom (tsch)

Liked that one.
__________________
Bindi
88 EA- his car
88 Rolla - MY car

Quote:
Originally Posted by big_waity
Oh, and another surefire symptom will be the Falcon badge at the back.
bindi is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 28-02-2005, 10:05 AM   #3
AUSGTI
Das Auto Bitches!
 
AUSGTI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 384
Default

I got one, dunno if anyone has heard it.


2 Snails are sitting in a Bar, 1 turns to the other and says "i F**ked your mother", then the other snail goes "Dad your drunk lets go home"....
__________________
MY14 MK7 VW Golf GTI - waghoon!
AUSGTI is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 28-02-2005, 10:07 AM   #4
bindi
Redhead extraordinaire...
 
bindi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Blue Mountains, NSW
Posts: 2,049
Default

Oh gawd that one is brilliant lmfao
__________________
Bindi
88 EA- his car
88 Rolla - MY car

Quote:
Originally Posted by big_waity
Oh, and another surefire symptom will be the Falcon badge at the back.
bindi is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 28-02-2005, 10:10 AM   #5
normell
Regular Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 81
Default

> > > Black Panties
> > >
> > > Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't
> > > gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter constantly urges her
> > > to get back into the dating world. Finally, Sherry says she'll go
> > > out, but doesn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies,
> > > "Mama! I have someone for you to
> >meet."
> > > Well, it's an immediate hit. They really like one another and after
> >dating for six weeks,
> > > he asks her to join him for a weekend in the mountains. Their first
> > > night there, she undresses as does he. There she stands nude except
> > > for a pair of black lacy panties, while he is in
> his
> >birthday suit.
> > > Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?"
> > > She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to
> > > explore, but down there I am still in mourning." The following night
> the
> >same scenario.
> > > She's standing there with the black panties on and he is in his
> birthday
> > > suit...except that he has a black condom over his erection. She
> > > looks at him and asks, "What's with the black condom?" He replies,
> > > "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
__________________
Every day above ground is a good day.

Still Drinking & Driving, But Not At The Same Time
normell is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 28-02-2005, 04:16 PM   #6
rodderz
.
 
rodderz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Bundoora
Posts: 7,199
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by normell
> > > Black Panties
> > >
> > > Sherry lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't
> > > gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter constantly urges her
> > > to get back into the dating world. Finally, Sherry says she'll go
> > > out, but doesn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies,
> > > "Mama! I have someone for you to
> >meet."
> > > Well, it's an immediate hit. They really like one another and after
> >dating for six weeks,
> > > he asks her to join him for a weekend in the mountains. Their first
> > > night there, she undresses as does he. There she stands nude except
> > > for a pair of black lacy panties, while he is in
> his
> >birthday suit.
> > > Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?"
> > > She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to
> > > explore, but down there I am still in mourning." The following night
> the
> >same scenario.
> > > She's standing there with the black panties on and he is in his
> birthday
> > > suit...except that he has a black condom over his erection. She
> > > looks at him and asks, "What's with the black condom?" He replies,
> > > "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

lol...thats definately one for the boys at the pub!
rodderz is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 28-02-2005, 10:13 AM   #7
champsky
THCC Motorsport member 1
 
champsky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: the ghetto....no im being serious!
Posts: 1,139
Default

lmao! ahhh what quality morning reading this is hehehehehe

cheers peoples
__________________
Southcyde Designs<------click here :

Member of the MTAS
Founder of TTM (team twink motorsport)

Founder of the AFFDDPS (Australian Ford Forums Drink Driving Punishment Squad)
champsky is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 28-02-2005, 10:22 AM   #8
AUSGTI
Das Auto Bitches!
 
AUSGTI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 384
Default

Best pickup line i have heard...

Jeez you dont sweat much for a Fat Chick......
__________________
MY14 MK7 VW Golf GTI - waghoon!
AUSGTI is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Reply


Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 06:46 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Other than what is legally copyrighted by the respective owners, this site is copyright www.fordforums.com.au
Positive SSL