Best mate+ Sister this is my rant

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:30 PM

Well people this is my first rant but ive never had anything worthy of a rant before so here we go
My best mate/ex best mate now who shall remain nameless has been my friend for about 2 years or so recently he got kicked out of home so he was offered to stay at my place (i still live at home) till we moved out under the proviso that he was to stay clear away from my 16 yo sister i am 22 so is he here is where it gets sticky after about a month im getting a bit suss so i confront him, he denies everything saying along the lines that he would never betray my trust like that especialy seeing as we had taken him in to our home another month goes by im still suss so one day i happen to walk past his phone witch he has left so i think stuff it n have a bit of a peek neway's found some very incriminating msg's kicked him out the next day telling him if he came near again ra ra ra all that jazz. the pearentals then got involved and now the situation is as stands
*they are still allowed to date
*he's allowed back in the house (and i have to be nice to him so as a result whenever he is here i just leave)
*me and him are not friends
thats a basic rundown NOW here's the kicker the boyfriend now makes my sister feel bad/feel like it's her fault that he never see's his friends because they hang out with me and not him. but at the same time i am being made out to be a big bad monster for the way i reacted by two of my closest female friends and it affecting our friendship in short about 4 different peoples lives have been thrown into havoc and freindships under strain because one person put a lay over his friends

RG · 04-07-2006, 04:34 PM

Bad situation, I feel for you as I have been in a very similar situation involving an ex-mate and my much younger step sister. Probably best to keep clear of them when they are together and to not get involved in any arguments over it. Well try anyway.

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:41 PM

thats pretty much how its working at the moment but lately he has just been comeing and picking her up and leaving under the guise that he dosnt feel comfortable around me now she spends most of her time at his new lodgings with a bunch of moved out 20somethings! it's not good for a 16yo

Tiga_EL · 04-07-2006, 04:38 PM

Yup, bad situation for you there, but if your parents are ok with it then i guess you cant do much. Shouldve employed the baseball bat when ya had the chance lol jkz

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tiga_EL

Yup, bad situation for you there, but if your parents are ok with it then i guess you cant do much. Shouldve employed the baseball bat when ya had the chance lol jkz

Parents arnt ok with it their just allowing it as not to drive it underground and to make sure she still spends time here witch isnt happening

Sourbastard · 04-07-2006, 04:39 PM

When i read the thread title, I had assumed he was screwing his own sister.... this story isnt half as bad.

needfordspeed · 04-07-2006, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

When i read the thread title, I had assumed he was screwing his own sister.... this story isnt half as bad.

LOL.

Wait till no-one but you and him are home, and then just kick the living **** through him, he should get the idea.

4Vman · 04-07-2006, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

When i read the thread title, I had assumed he was screwing his own sister.... this story isnt half as bad.

Or as good as it could have been.....

Ultimate · 04-07-2006, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

When i read the thread title, I had assumed he was screwing his own sister.... this story isnt half as bad.

I thinking we create a thread where we quote all your legendary posts. Thats classic.

Now on the subject. Mate she is legal, yes he betrayed you. I spose she is your sister and you feel protective of her. But if you trusted this guy, isnt it better that she is with someone you trust then you distrust. I know that there probably no trust there now. But basically i would be happy if i knew my sister hooked up with a good mate of mine, this is cause i know my mates have respect and would treat her right. She better off with someone you know then you dont know.

Jeff

JC · 04-07-2006, 04:42 PM

What's the problem. She's legal. How are people supposed to meet if not through friends/friends families etc. Should we all meet through the internet or something. At 22, I tihnk you still have a lot of growing up to do - just for interests sake, what's the age difference between your parents? 6 years is nothing. Now, if your sister was 15....different story.

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JC

What's the problem. She's legal. How are people supposed to meet if not through friends/friends families etc. Should we all meet through the internet or something. At 22, I tihnk you still have a lot of growing up to do - just for interests sake, what's the age difference between your parents? 6 years is nothing. Now, if your sister was 15....different story.

it would be a different story if she was 20 and he was 26 she would be alot more mature then and not still just a girl i would still have a problem with it just not as bigger problem and i'll put this to you is if he if willing to go behind and lie to his best mate (and we were close as anything) for the best part of 2 months then isnt it only a matter of time before he will do itr to her?? dont get me wrong people im not trying to run her life but this is just wrong

schmidty · 04-07-2006, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JC

What's the problem. She's legal. How are people supposed to meet if not through friends/friends families etc. Should we all meet through the internet or something. At 22, I tihnk you still have a lot of growing up to do - just for interests sake, what's the age difference between your parents? 6 years is nothing. Now, if your sister was 15....different story.

As far as i was always aware 16 isn't legal in this case. From what i was always told, 16 is the age of consent as long as there is less than 2 years difference between the involved parties. So basically its legal for a 16, 17 or 18 year old to sleep with a 16yr old, but no older. If she's 18 she can get it on with anyone she wants. So if what i've been told is correct she could turn back around later and he could be charged. If anyone has more insight into this than me please correct me. And n ot saying they are, just a scenario.

JC · 04-07-2006, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by schmidty

As far as i was always aware 16 isn't legal in this case. From what i was always told, 16 is the age of consent as long as there is less than 2 years difference between the involved parties. So basically its legal for a 16, 17 or 18 year old to sleep with a 16yr old, but no older. If she's 18 she can get it on with anyone she wants. So if what i've been told is correct she could turn back around later and he could be charged. If anyone has more insight into this than me please correct me. And n ot saying they are, just a scenario.

Australia has different ages of consent depending on the location. For the majority of Australians the age of consent is 16, but for those living in Tasmania or South Australia it is 17.

The table below outlines the different ages of consent in Australia16:
State MALE-FEMALE MALE-MALE FEMALE-FEMALE SEX
ACT.........16.................16................n o laws
NSW.........16................18................no laws
NT...........16.................18................ no laws
Qld..........16.................16................ .16
SA...........17.................17................ .17
Tas..........17.................17................ .17
Victoria.....16.................16................ .16
WA...........16.................21................ .16

The above info was taken from:
http://www.parliament.nsw.gov.au/pro.../bf21-1997.pdf

Bucket · 05-07-2006, 12:07 AM

You have to have a degree in law and an honest girlfriend thesedays...if she lies to you about her age... you're *#%#^'d ..

xbcool · 04-07-2006, 04:47 PM

you shouldnt be looking at someone elses phone

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xbcool

you shouldnt be looking at someone elses phone

probly not but i had a hunch and i was right fact is he shouldnt have been sleeping with my 16 yo sister behind my back whilst living under my roof

V8R · 04-07-2006, 08:56 PM

shes legal, its your parent's house.. sorry mate, get over it or move out.. and get over it

Bluefreak · 04-07-2006, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xbcool

you shouldnt be looking at someone elses phone

Same thought here... He betrayed trust by looking at the phone, mate betrayed trust by poking his sister... I call it even stevens...

gbright · 05-07-2006, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bluefreak

Same thought here... He betrayed trust by looking at the phone, mate betrayed trust by poking his sister... I call it even stevens...

im sorry mate i try to respect other peoples opinions and take them on board but if your are in all seriousness making that comparison to be any way level then my friend you have some serious problem's witch you should address as soon as possible

Jeeepers · 05-07-2006, 03:18 AM

And now, a massage from the Swedish Prime Minister!!

Bluefreak · 05-07-2006, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbright

im sorry mate i try to respect other peoples opinions and take them on board but if your are in all seriousness making that comparison to be any way level then my friend you have some serious problem's witch you should address as soon as possible

Trust is trust with me, I don't address it in levels. Checking out someone elses phone is a serious breach of privacy whether you think he lied to you or not, you had absolutely no right to do it.

xbcool · 04-07-2006, 04:52 PM

i can understand your anger
but shouldnt your old man be more ****ed off?

gbright · 04-07-2006, 04:55 PM

yeah he is but perants have talkd n decided to let it happen to avoid driving it underground i dont agree buit i cant change that desicion

xbcool · 04-07-2006, 04:58 PM

sounds like you have to grin and bear it
I hope they have been educated in STDs and kids

JC · 04-07-2006, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xbcool

sounds like you have to grin and bear it
I hope they have been educated in STDs and kids

Sounds like she is too (grinning)! LOL.

Been through a similar thing with my sister, and ended up being friends with the bloke (though only 4 years difference - still, she was 16). Now they're not together, we don't even see him any more. Oh, and they had a kid, who is now 17.

Black XR6 · 04-07-2006, 05:04 PM

Hmm, tough one. But the best advice I could give you is to just support your sister. If you kick up a stink and end up taking the ridiculous advice of beating him up you will more than likely lose not only your mate, but your sister as well and a good chance of losing your parents respect along the way. If you take the mature path and support her and make it comfortable for them no matter how the relationship goes you will come out roses.

I know this advice probably isnt what you would like to hear. But really its the best course of action. Carrying on like a pork chop will neither break them up nor make your sister see your point of view. I think its time to grow up a little and let your sister do likewise.

Just my advice.

Black XR6 · 04-07-2006, 05:06 PM

Quote:

probly not but i had a hunch and i was right fact is he shouldnt have been sleeping with my 16 yo sister behind my back whilst living under my roof

Afew points here. Its not your roof. Do you know %100 they were sleeping together at that time? Its sounds like your more annoyed they did it behind your back rather than out in the open.

Jeeepers · 04-07-2006, 05:09 PM

Apart from your obvious dislike to the situation, I see nothing wrong with it. They obviously enjoy each other, and they are both of consenting age. My question would be, if she found someone other than your best mate in the same age group, would you have reacted the same?

gbright · 04-07-2006, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redfin

Apart from your obvious dislike to the situation, I see nothing wrong with it. They obviously enjoy each other, and they are both of consenting age. My question would be, if she found someone other than your best mate in the same age group, would you have reacted the same?

not as badly but still not well and to answer a previous question yes i do no 100% they were sleeping togeather and he was there as me guest so under my roof might not be spot on but i still pay rent and do my bit so its close enough and yeah im ****ed off they did it behind my back but i still wouldnt have liked it if it was out in the open but if it was in the open it probly wouldnt have turned into the s**tstorm it has become the one good thing is that it has opened my eyes to how much of a slimy lying untrustworthy sob he is

Black XR6 · 04-07-2006, 05:21 PM

Quote:

not as badly but still not well and to answer a previous question yes i do no 100% they were sleeping togeather and he was there as me guest o under my roof might not be spot on but i still pay rent and do my bit so its close enough

Fair enough. But if its not him it will be someone else you dont know. Apart from your disagreement with him dating your sister behind your back, is he an ok guy?

Quote:

one good thing is that it has opened my eyes to how much of a slimy lying untrustworthy sob he is

Why because he may have been too nervous to tell you something was happening and he knew you would react as you are.

At the end of the day you can kick and scream and try and do your level best to break them up and it will just make your sister want him even more. Just be happy for her and them and see how it goes.

My honest last bit of advice would be to approach the friend, tell him you over reacted to the situation and hope they are happy together. Its your best chance of salvaging both your sisters relationship and your friendship with your mate.

Either way your sister will date whoever she wants.