|
Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated. |
|
The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
11-01-2007, 07:56 PM | #1 | ||
Merry Xmas To All
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Melton South, Moderator: ORSM Club
Posts: 3,413
|
KIDS IN CHURCH A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us from E-mail. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
||
11-01-2007, 11:04 PM | #2 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 157
|
some good clean humor, which is more then i can say about modern day prests
|
||
12-01-2007, 12:36 AM | #3 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada
Posts: 1,625
|
Quote:
|
|||
13-01-2007, 10:43 AM | #4 | |||
not here much anymore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sthn NSW
Posts: 22,918
|
Quote:
__________________
2024 F150 XLT
|
|||
13-01-2007, 08:54 PM | #5 | |||
Walking with God
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 7,321
|
Quote:
GK
__________________
2009 Mondeo Zetec TDCi - Moondust Silver 2015 Kia Sorento Platinum - Snow White Pearl 2001 Ducati Monster 900Sie - Red Now gone! 1999 AU1 Futura Wagon - Sparkling Burgundy On LPG Want a Full Life? John 10:10 |
|||
12-01-2007, 01:01 AM | #6 | ||
Spr Jenkins
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 597
|
hilareous
|
||
12-01-2007, 07:40 PM | #7 | ||
Walking with God
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 7,321
|
Great jokes!
Bless you. GK
__________________
2009 Mondeo Zetec TDCi - Moondust Silver 2015 Kia Sorento Platinum - Snow White Pearl 2001 Ducati Monster 900Sie - Red Now gone! 1999 AU1 Futura Wagon - Sparkling Burgundy On LPG Want a Full Life? John 10:10 |
||
13-01-2007, 10:40 AM | #8 | ||
LIFELONG DJR SUPPORTER
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: CENTRAL QUEENSLAND
Posts: 5,324
|
Little girl at church, the Preist says "Thats a lovely dress, is it your Sunday Best"? Little girl replies, "Yes. But mom say its a ***** to iron"!
__________________
|
||