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Old 24-07-2005, 09:20 AM   #1
deesun
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Default Healthy eating for men

Subject: The scientific reasoning we have all been waiting for


HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION



Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ......
Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets and remember,

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming -

WOO HOO! What a Ride!"

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Old 24-07-2005, 09:24 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deesun
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming -

WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
My new life motto!!! Thank you!
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Old 24-07-2005, 09:27 AM   #3
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I think it should be included at the top in the banner
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Old 24-07-2005, 09:29 AM   #4
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I can see it works...everyday ..kentucky fried chicken!!!!

Even though I look like the gobble dock!!
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Old 24-07-2005, 09:48 AM   #5
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I am sure this is my brother in laws life motto....he's 164kg, 180cm and 20 years old.....
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Old 24-07-2005, 09:52 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deesun
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ......
Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
this applies to women to you know. I am living proof that chocolate every day is healthy. Only the good stuff though :hihi:
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Old 24-07-2005, 10:34 AM   #7
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I have unused KFC vouchers... there is only one way to rid myself of this shame - USE THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!
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Old 24-07-2005, 10:49 AM   #8
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God I want to get my car running and go buy KFC now.
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Old 24-07-2005, 03:24 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deesun
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
I cannot argue with that logic! :
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Originally Posted by big_waity
Oh, and another surefire symptom will be the Falcon badge at the back.
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Old 24-07-2005, 07:42 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xrgran
this applies to women to you know. I am living proof that chocolate every day is healthy. Only the good stuff though :hihi:
No chocolate for me :

Found out a couple of days ago that my kidneys are damaged so it's rabbit food for the rest of my life!! :

Although I sure could go a Picnic bar right about now


Quote:
Originally Posted by deesun
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
That's gold!! :
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Old 24-07-2005, 09:47 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairmont_Krissy
[COLOR=SeaGreen]Found out a couple of days ago that my kidneys are damaged so it's rabbit food for the rest of my life!! :
Wow. Thats harsh. did you have any major symptoms leading up to the result? I only ask as my son-in-law in 20 and found out a few years ago that he has a debilitating kidney disease (hereditary), that will eventually lead to dialysis. He was always pale, but otherwise healthy...so we thought. He is meant to take steroids and other medication but won't, the brat :
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Old 24-07-2005, 11:58 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xrgran
Wow. Thats harsh. did you have any major symptoms leading up to the result? I only ask as my son-in-law in 20 and found out a few years ago that he has a debilitating kidney disease (hereditary), that will eventually lead to dialysis. He was always pale, but otherwise healthy...so we thought. He is meant to take steroids and other medication but won't, the brat :
To avoid hijacking the thread, I will PM you with an answer to that...
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