Funny things that happen @ work

niko · 03-08-2005, 08:15 PM

doin some donkey work today, and the boss tells me to go fix a printer, i get there, persons like "my printer doesnt wanna work" im like thinkin hmm have u turned it on?

check out the paper situation, its not very flat. tried some new paper, printed bout 10lines and just stopped. im like hmmm interesting might be a paper jam, open front flap and i see this pointy thing that looks like a paper clip. im like NO WAY. got some plyers, yanked it out, was a complete earing, the size of 2-3 20cent peices stuk ontop of each other....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

shooooot away guys!

redspak · 03-08-2005, 08:20 PM

LLOLO!L!L!L!L!L!O!O!O!L!!O!!!O hahaahah damn, how silly can u be, wat did u do with the ear rings?

Felony · 03-08-2005, 08:22 PM

lol, nikos the little office ...
but yeah silly sheila, give her a punch, she'll be right, :P
cheers

AdzT3-146 · 03-08-2005, 08:23 PM

couple of guys at work tied a can to a guys towbar today. he didnt realise it when he was drving away. all he needed was a just married sign on the back. lol.

Damo · 03-08-2005, 08:31 PM

bwahaha, nice one.

Best i can think of at the moment, today at work I was standing out on the sidewalk while a truck driver and his jockey (bob marley look-a-like) were loading some lounges to be sent to our clearance store.

A young guy and 2 nice young girl walk past in School uniform probably about 16-17, one of the girls was picking a wedigie and gigling, keeps walking (me staring of course :P ) then she flips up her extremely short skirt to reveal her g-banger. She keeps walking 10 or so metres and turn around to see my self just staring (still). I gave her the thumbs up and smiled. She laughed an continued walking away. Made me wish I was 16 again.

It really made my day, especially after having to lug 15 lounges up to this bloddy truck.

niko · 03-08-2005, 08:34 PM

one time a few years ago, i wasted a good 30mins on this job.

problem: screen going different colours

my problem had to walk almost 1k, got there, and:

me: wats wrong
person: oh the screens going pink and stuff
me: ok which one
person: over here
me thinking: hmmm prolly screen cable
me doing: gets under table, oh look at that, screen cable, job done
person: so wat was it????? (lookin at me like a poor lost fool)
me: oh it was something to do with the graphics card.

so so tempted to say it was the cable.

niko · 03-08-2005, 08:37 PM

lol @ damo, filthy little girls eh

Feathers · 03-08-2005, 08:43 PM

I think I've posted it before but...

I had a fight with the store manager, and walked out of his office, slamming the door behind me.
Didn't know the handle was falling apart, and the door locked, with the handle on the inside jamming into the locked position.
About 30 minutes later, when the boss wanted to leave he tried to open his door, and found he couldn't.
I was sitting in my office next door talking to a workmate, when we hear the boss's door start to rattle, and eventually he starts knocking, asking if there is anyone there to let him out.
We obviously weren't going to let him out, even if we'd wanted to.
We were in hysterics, and trying to keep quiet so he wouldn't hear us.
The guy is such a pr!ck, we were crying from laughing so hard!

Eventually he had to call someone from the service desk to go out and open the door for him.

Psycho Chicken · 03-08-2005, 08:46 PM

Brake disc shavings and battery acid. Some poor bastard here would of smelt it before.

Feathers · 03-08-2005, 08:55 PM

Further to mine, there was another incident with the same door, before it got fixed, when the grate at the bottom was pulled out and to get into or out of the office we had to crawl through it.
Our cash office manager had gone in there to change over the CCTV tapes, and was crawling out again, when I happened to walk past.
I saw her, I knew it was her.
She looked at me sheepishly, but for some reason my delayed reaction was to scream.
I felt pretty stupid with everyone laughing at me, and to top it off the Armourgard guys were around the corner waiting to drop off our change order for the week, and they all reached for their guns.

niko · 03-08-2005, 09:01 PM

LOL how scary ahhaha

neb · 03-08-2005, 09:21 PM

Being an admin officer I get asked to fix alot of stupid simple problems... Alot of people over 30 are really useless with anything to do with computers... some examples:

"how do you delete a row in a table in word"
"can you change the printer cartridge for me i don't know how"
"how do i put a signature in my email"
"can you get the cover off of my mobile phone"
"how do you photocopy double sided"

lots of simple problems like that.. daily.

umm other funny things.. just yesterday i was helping someone take a computer out of a van.. they stepped backwards out of the van and tripped on a gutter and landed flat on their back (didn't hurt themself) i couldn't help myself but laugh and couldn't stop laughing for ages.. hehe

when my manager went away a couple years ago.. the day before they came back we turned everything in their office upside down... was pretty amusing!

can't think of much more at the moment

t2te50 · 03-08-2005, 09:22 PM

Pulling into the local hose specialist joint I found myself blocked by a knob in a hilux trying to pull out from what is clearly the entry driveway. Sucker in a vb commodore must have been asleep and swlammed the anchors just in time but the young kid behind waqsn't so lucky. He ran straight up his **** caving the whole boot in. The vs took the bulk of the damage, front radiator support, guards, bonnet all rooted! two less on the road even though it was non of my doing.
That brings the tally up to 3 should of seen the vp that ran into my zd fairlane 2 years ago, I had a small buckle in the guard his car needed a whole new front grafted onto it.

big_waity · 03-08-2005, 09:32 PM

I had a very similar problem today Niko. A customer brought their printer in complaining of it jamming. So, first up, put it on the bench, get some paper in, do a test print Yep. It jammed. So, lift it up, start pulling it apart, I hear this rattle. Shake Shake Shake. There is something loose inside. I then removed the Gyprock screw from the feed rollers and the printer works fine. When I showed the customer she said "No wonder I couldn't find the screw after the clock fell out of the wall"

SileNceR · 03-08-2005, 09:33 PM

http://www.clientcopia.com/quotes.php?id=3286

niko · 03-08-2005, 09:37 PM

thats gold big waity

Feathers · 03-08-2005, 09:39 PM

Ok. I promise this is my last one (well maybe).

The week before last I was working on the shop floor when there was a security call on the PA.
I started walking around looking for other staff to find out who we were supposed to be watching, and get told the guy is wearing a grey top with navy track pants, and he was seen to put a set of small walkman earphones down his pants.
Walk around a bit, find him, and we all start following him to see if he dumps the item.
He leads us around the store for awhile, before the grocery manager stops him in one of the aisles and tells him that he was seen shoplifting, and if he just hands over the item he can go on his way without any trouble.
Unknown to those of us in the aisle surrounding him he had already dumped the headphones elsewhere.
He starts yelling that we are harrassing him, and that he has nothing.
This continues for a minute or so, until he decides to pull up his shirt and show us he has nothing hidden under there.
He yells more abuse at us, and then, just as another staff member appears behind him with the item in question, he drops his pants (and underwear), saying:
"See I aint got nothin'!!"
No one quite knew where to look, but I couldn't help myself from saying quite loudly:
"He's right, he doesn't have anything."

He promptly pulled up his pants and left the store.

niko · 03-08-2005, 09:42 PM

that small huh lol

Yummy Mummy · 03-08-2005, 09:45 PM

About 2 years ago we had a rather dodgy employee who had a few discrepancies balancing his cash drawer. On the 3rd occasion in 2 months of his drawer being short, Human Resources manager, Compliance Leader and the District manager were due to come to the office to question him on the issue (suspecting him of having "light fingers") An hour before they were due to arrive, the employee went to lunch, and assured us he would be back in time for his interview.

2 hours after everyone arrived, he had still not arrived back from lunch. Finally, we received a phone call from him. He was at the police station being held on shoplifting charges...he had been picked up at lunchtime.

.....same employee. A customer came into the office to make a payment on their loan. They said they didn't have their account number, to which he responded, "that's ok, I can find it by your surname."
The customer said, "Thompson, with a 'P'"

To which he replied, "what, Pompson?"

.............he is no longer with the company.

niko · 03-08-2005, 09:49 PM

karma factor 5000!!!!!!!!! lol

Sourbastard · 03-08-2005, 09:57 PM

A construction hut burned down on one of the factory sites i support, taking all the old relic computers up with it, which was helped along then by a healthy dose of water from the firemen.

There were many grins and slaps on the back from the workers as the thought of new expensive computer gear quickly being dispatched to them bounced around inside their heads.

So I carefully removed all the PC's to a training room, dried them out with a hair drier, removed the soot with compressed air, and brought them all back to life. They were so happy to be reunited with their loved ones. Well. I was atleast.

Perana · 03-08-2005, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

A construction hut burned down on one of the factory sites i support, taking all the old relic computers up with it, which was helped along then by a healthy dose of water from the firemen.

There were many grins and slaps on the back from the workers as the thought of new expensive computer gear quickly being dispatched to them bounced around inside their heads.

So I carefully removed all the PC's to a training room, dried them out with a hair drier, removed the soot with compressed air, and brought them all back to life. They were so happy to be reunited with their loved ones. Well. I was atleast.

Haha you bastard ! :P Bet they were really happy !

Sourbastard · 03-08-2005, 10:11 PM

They were filled with the love of the bastard.

niko · 03-08-2005, 10:13 PM

speaking of air compressors and computers, in my junior years me and a mate had the task of blowing dust out of 5year old computers, we found out that compressed air in the pointy freeflowing airguns was great for making Formula1 noises with powersupply fans, until one of the powersupplies went CRACK, ooooooooooops, me and my mate had a laugh, hooked it up to see if it worked, vibrated quite abit, so we changed it hahaha

niko · 03-08-2005, 10:35 PM

oh just remembered, went to visit work (part-timer), and i walked into the office and here is my boss playing with a remote control helicopter...lol its a skill doing it in a smallish office, quite amusing

DOC · 03-08-2005, 11:11 PM

True Story, many years ago i started work as an eager storemans assistant for wollies, and every day we would be out in the car park unloading semi's and reloading the empty pallets and so on.

One day without my knowledge there was a problem with the sewerage and the water and sewerage guys had lifted a steel cover of the sewer collection point for the shopping centre ( yep in the part where we unload the trucks ), so being saftey minded they overturned a fruit n vege pallet and placed it over the manhole before going to lunch.

you can guess the rest in comes the perishable truck and i unload the 18 + pallets and i then go about sorting the emptys, i pick up the crate to roll over to place onto the trolley jack, next minute i drop down in the hole up to my neck in crap and the vege crate drops back over the top of me.

A great laugh for everyone but me.

---

In a seperate incident while in the railways there was a fireman ( drivers assistant ) who went out on the line and this guy was none to bright, anyway in the drivers cab they have a small hotplate for warming food, this guy puts a tin of baked beans on to warm up and forgets about it, however he forgot to open the tin, just sat it on the hot plate and turned it on next thing on the radio both are needing medical attention as the can exploded spraying them and the cabin with 100's of tiny red hot baked beans.

niko · 03-08-2005, 11:14 PM

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

howd u get out, and howd u clean up??? :S

DOC · 03-08-2005, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niko

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
howd u get out, and howd u clean up??? :S

Lets just say i learnt to get myself out of the sh1t at an early age and i walked home to shower and change as i wasnt sitting in my car to drive home.

Dave_au · 03-08-2005, 11:39 PM

Liar!

I smell a rat

(joking)

http://urbanlegends.about.com/librar...s/s3600132.jpg

The MaDDeSTMaN · 04-08-2005, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niko

speaking of air compressors and computers, in my junior years me and a mate had the task of blowing dust out of 5year old computers, we found out that compressed air in the pointy freeflowing airguns was great for making Formula1 noises with powersupply fans, until one of the powersupplies went CRACK, ooooooooooops, me and my mate had a laugh, hooked it up to see if it worked, vibrated quite abit, so we changed it hahaha

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has done that with air compressors and computer fans, although I preferred to spin up the CPU fans instead until the pitch created went beyond the range the human ear is capable of hearing, I wonder how many still worked properly for any real length of time after that, hahaha!

Dont' worry, most of those computers ended up being disposed of anyway, so it's not like I was destroying anything anyone was going to be paying good money for. Still, having said that, if they had treated myself and the other employees better then they did, we'd probably all still be working there, however most of us decided we were better off being unemployed and searching for a better job then continuing to work there for just over $8 per hour...

I have lots of funny stories from when I was doing the Saturday 12am-8am shift at a servo in Spencer St, just a short walk north of Spencer St Station, and all the people who I used to see on their way home from nightclubs, pubs and parties... But I couldn't be bothered writing about them - I'm too tired, I might write about it tomorrow...