Hang Over Ratings

[Smoked]

Hangover Ratings

1 star hangover

No pain. no real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you.

You are still able to function relatively well on the energy stored up from all those vodka redbulls.

However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as parched as the Sahara.

Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a bag of fries.

2 star hangover

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler.

The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast.

Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is some light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.

3 star hangover

Slight headache. Stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space cadet and not so productive.

Anytime a girl or lad walks by you gag because the perfume/aftershave reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 am.

Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen doughnuts and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.

You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.

4 star hangover

You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might spew.

Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze.

You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the dodgems.

Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look like one big vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a second-grade class circa 1976.

You would give a weeks pay for one of the following - home time, a doughnut and somewhere to be alone, or a Time Machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

You scare small children in the street just by walking past them.

5 star hangover

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits next to you.

Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.

You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth.

Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you.

You'd cry but that would take the last drop of moisture left in your body.

Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is breathe… very gently.

6 star hangover

You arrive home and climb into bed.

Sleep comes instantly; as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi.

You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up.

You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room.

No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck.

You stumble out of bed and now find that your room is in a yacht under full sail.

After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet.

If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls.

You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived.

Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark.

With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent.

You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils shoot out of your mouth on the last occasion.

It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/he abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair.

You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital.

Work is simply not an option.

The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving.

You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed.

OK, now hands up all those who have never had a six star hangover!!

Thought so!!

ha I get the 3 star the most, but you would have to be pretty f**ked up to get a 6 star, spinout...

[Marlin_Girl]

ugh i hate hangovers !
i'd have to say i get 2star & 3 star mostly.

once i read 4 star i thought that would be the last one, that's the worst i've ever had! but there was worse still...

[oneredED]

Hands up who's had a 6-star hangover...

/me raises hand

Quite a few times, but the first and most memorable when i had my 15th birthday party (we all went camping) and skolled half a (700ml) bottle of bundy in one go (about 10 seconds), after about 8 beers. I'd never had a drop of alcohol before that night. I vowed i never would either and went for a whole year before touching beer again. Bundy, i can sort of drink now (i'm 19 now) but i chuck after smelling it sometimes even if i'm sober.

There have been many times when the toilet (shower makes a good substitute if no toilet in stumbling distance) has been my best friend for the whole next day, sitting there in my boxers unable to move for fear of throwing up, moving only to go to bed that next night...

The joys of alcohol :P

[Franky]

3 star is my worst but usually it's just the 1, unless of course it's a big occasion ;)

[Pilch]

usually one with an occasional 2 or 3 star -> due to a camping trip when 16. Much like onered ED. Anything that smells slightly like missisippi moonshine puts me off drinking. yet 10 mins later i'm back at it.........I think that camping trip resembled a blend of 4-star to 6-star symptoms. The next day I couldn't even hold any water down for more than two minutes, eep!

[FordFan86]

3 star is where i'm normally at. can be down to 2... even 1 these days...

[Yum-Yum]

only ever had a 6 star once in my life and can't remember the events before hand, now I'd be lucky to get a 2, a hair of the dog and a few meat pies will set me up good for the rest of the day.

[big_pete]

ive had a couple of 6 stars and a few 5's but its usually a 3 or 4

[Paris Hilton]

give me half a cruiser and i'm passed out :P

[xdc351]

I've done a 6 star once...

A couple of 5 star ones recently too like the Geelong AFD last year where time and amount consumed got away from me on a 30+ degree night. Spent the day in the shade of a gumtree looking very worse for wear! Saved by a baked potato :

The 6 star was a new years eve party.... We were drinking all night when at about 2am the neighbours called out for us to join them. I went around and drank with them for about an hour and consumed somewhere in the order of 8 shots, 1 beer and 2 daquari's.... I managed to walk out of their house OK and got midway between the 2 properties before the legs gave out... crawled up the driveway and into the house, managed to get into bed for about 1 hour. Then it was all over and a genuine 6 star followed. Bad night.... woke up the whole house including the G/F's parents :(

[Hitman]

I used to do 6-star efforts every weekend, I'd drink a bottle of Bundy and then head out to the nightclub, where I'd spend a ridiculous amount of money.
I have given all that up though, and now rarely even reach a 1-star effort.

[rob_o]

Ive had a 3-4 hangover once and I havent been able to drink much since. Now its usually a 1 star hangover.

[Mike Gayner]

Jesus, I dream of 1 and 2 star hangovers. For some reason hangovers hit me particularly hard. Me and a mate can get on the **** together and get just as wasted as one another, and he will wake up feeling midly ill, whereas I'm afraid that if I breath too deep I'll vomit. I get 5 and 6 star hangovers regularly.

However, I have discovered an excellent hangover cure - 2 oranges and 2 glasses of water within minutes of waking up. 4 out of 5 times I try this, it nearly eliminates my hangover altogether. I encourage othersw to try it, see if it works.

[Thornie]

ive had quite a few six stars one night my bedroom door decided it would move to another part of the room and i got lost couldnt find my way out for the life of me had rack with shoes in needless to say those shoes got washed the next day

[Peuty]

I've had everything from a one star, to a six star. The saddest thing about my six star nights, is that I usually have to work the next morning.

Which isn't nice.

[EA2BA]

yeah i have done 6 star plenty, glad i dont have tonsils

[needturbo6]

i actually couldnt stop laughing while reading the 6 star hangover. ive had a few....
But my best freind was usually my bin....toilet too faraway....

why isnt there a 7 star. one experience ive had i think i got alcohol poisoning. woke up alright had a few spews. lied down. not long after stomach cramp. **** me it was sore, only position where it didnt feel too bad was on all fours kinda in the feutus position..... still felt like something was dissolving my stomach, come to think of it now it was probably my liver..... the main time it hurt was when i breathed, so like every second or two!!....the deeper i breathed the more it hurt. enough of my day of hell.

main hangovers nowadays are 2 and 3 on some occasions, i think due to drinkn a lot of different drinks....

[xdc351]

Originally Posted by RaTTuS

ive had quite a few six stars one night my bedroom door decided it would move to another part of the room and i got lost couldnt find my way out for the life of me had rack with shoes in needless to say those shoes got washed the next day

I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the thought of someone lost in their own bedroom under those circumstances. The shoe rack must have been a tough choice though...

[lv619]

I've had a 7 once, like needturbo6...

Lets just say that when i woke up and had a look at the bedside table (i was like wtf?), I knew for sure that i must have had a good time the night before.... luckely I was staying at a motel (unlucky for the cleaner).

[Thornie]

i wasnt a good experience and i wasnt good my missus either she had to help clean it all up glad someone got a laugh we have a good laugh when we talk about it now

[trueblue]

Yeah... All the bad ones happen when you have to work teh next day...

[Danny]

I had to go to work with a 6 star once..... I lasted one whole hour, and pretty much the whole time was throwing up in the staff toilet. my stomach did turn inside out i reckon, and jeez was I blasted the next day by the boss!

I'm very careful drinking these days as a result of that day, it was the worst feeling ever!