A Few JOKES To Put Some Life Back Into This Forum

[killerjoolz]

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
"From now on when I say BELL 1
I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2
I want you to jump in bed.
And when I say BELL 3
We are going to make love all night.
" The next night he came home from work and yelled
"BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love.
After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"
"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?
"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied "
Y OU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."



"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied..



Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few
days. He'd
been playing outside with the other kids for a while
when he came
into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that
called when 2
people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top
of the other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him
the truth.
"It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside
to talk and
play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
"Grandma, it is
NOT called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds,
and Jimmy's Mom
wants to talk to you



A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like
the looks of your wife at all,"
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with
the kids



A 5 year old boy walked into the kitchen to ask his mother where he came from. She sighed, realised this was it and sat him down to explain th birds and bees to him. When finished he had this look of confusion on his face. "Why did you want to know?" asked the concerned mother. The boy replied;
"Because Tommy down the street comes from England."



A young woman brings a very young and skinny baby to the doctor's office.
She explained, "The baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week."
She was told to go into an examination room and wait for the doctor.
He comes in and examines the baby, then asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"
"Breast fed." she says.
"Well, strip down to your waist." he orders.
She does.
He squeezes both breasts, massages them, pinches both nipples, and then began powerfully sucking on one nipple. Finally he announces, "No wonder this baby is hungry, you don't have any milk."
"Naturally," she says, "I'm his aunt; but I sure am glad I came in today

I HOPE YOU GET A GOOD LAUGH.....Cheers Killer