Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)

[XLS99 Ute man]

Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)


August 31st

Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!!

Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and

warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on
the

verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

September 13th:

Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an

air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to

see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th:

Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms

and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.

Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th

The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used

to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But

getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

October 15th:

Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.

Missed

3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though.

Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th:

I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.

By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen

up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather

upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like

Wiskettes and cat ИИИИ. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this
heat.

October 25th:

The wind sucks. It feels like a giant ИИИИin blow dryer!! And it's hot

as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman

charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th:

Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house

and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th:

It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It

cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity

makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this

stupid ИИИИin place.

November 8th:

If another wise ИИИИ cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to

ИИИИin throttle him. ИИИИin heat! By the time I get to work the car's

radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin ИИИИin wet, and I

smell like baked cat!!

November 9th:

Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black

leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ИИИИin ИИИИ was on fire. I

lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my

ИИИИin ИИИИ. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ИИИИ, and baked

cat.

November 10th:

The weather report might as well be a ИИИИin recording. Hot and sunny. Hot

and sunny. Hot and ИИИИin sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2

damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.

Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ИИИИin place? Water rationing will be

next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the

ИИИИin pool. Even the palms can't live in this ИИИИin heat.

November 14th:

Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the

air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and

said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500

mortgage payment to bail my ИИИИ out of jail for assulting the stupid

ИИИИer. ИИИИ Alice Springs! What kind of a sick demented ИИИИin idiot
would want to live here?

December 1st:

WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are ИИИИin kiddin