Depression, Anxiety

[TheSneakiness]

Just had an implosion.

I now know it wasn't the ex or the split that caused my depression. No no.

It's work. And looking back and reflecting on my behaviour since I started here it's always been work, the way I was pigeon holed into specific tasks only, the way I've only ever had second hand equipment, the way I've been ridiculed cause of the shirt I wear. The way I get spoken to by my line leader when I'm just asking for more work or trying to run something by them and being fobbed off.

I would take it home and unfortunately my family suffered because of it. And now I don't have that anymore.

The problem is that my skill set is so specific it's really hard to find a job without outlaying cash I don't have to skill up or change skills. I get too nervous or far too overconfident in interviews so that doesn't help.

I legitimately don't like coming in. But I need the money to survive.