Depression, Anxiety

[creative]

Just thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing.... Glad to see some great results from everyone!

to comment on a few posts and my thought process:

media and the news - stopped watching it full stop. It simply bull**** propagander from every mainstream outlet ( the banning of sky news on youtube is a testament to that imo)

Drinking -
good to see others having the same thoughts I did... I used to be a heavy drinker. Ran pubs, nightclubs etc and would do a bottle of bacardi before I finished work... and then go out. No idea how I managed but I got tired of feeling like **** and my moods would quickly become violent ( which is the complete opposite of me and honestly scared me) These days I might have a beer and thats it... I do enjoy drinking, but I enjoy how I feel without it more!

Meds and doctors - A good doc is a must. I was lucky and found a great one. Listened to my concerns, expressed his with me, had plans and timescales as to how long I was going to be on them etc. I feel very fortunate and I would certainly recommend shopping around with one to find you feel happy with!

Diet - This was, to me, one of the biggest suprises I had and just how much it affected me and my moods! Im the fussiest person ever when it comes to food and have no interest in it.. I eat because I have to but it turns out im type 2 diabetic and now I have discovered I'm lactose intolerant. I have reduced sugar, carb and dairy products and feel so much better for it. I highly recommend those that struggle to also look at dietary requirements.

So how am I doing?

Honestly, I had a bad spell a couple of weeks ago but this time I am fortunate enough, that I recognised the signs. Insomnia, unhapyness, stressed, angry, frustrated, not eating, couldnt stand being around people, including the missus but this time I saw it and opened up. Sat the missus down, told her how I was feeling, told my boss at work who were supportive. Seriously considered taking meds again but this time I felt stronger a decided it would be the last resort.
I pulled my self out of the dark hole that was starting to consume me again, it was hard, dont get me wrong but it has also shown me that I can do this.... Ive got this...and that is a great feeling!

Then covid kicked in again and lockdowns happen and now I get to support the missus as she is feeling this round. Why you ask?

She works for ServiceNSW and is one of the people you call regarding government business grants and I have watched her the past 4 weeks slowly decline in coping. From the moment she starts work to when she finishes after a 12 hour shift of being abused, threatened, shouted at, all for trying to help people. Just yesterday, by 10am she had 4 people threaten they were suicidal just to try and make her feel guilty into changing her response, abused, and people blaming her because the free money they want wont be available for another 2 weeks because there are over 50,000 applications to be processed, is taking its toll. These people manning the phones are human.. they arent trained councilors,financial advisors or care givers and to be thrown into this chaos and try and not let it affect them... is hard, and hard to watch.


in other news booster 4 and SN20 is on the launchpad and thats as exciting as ****... I cannot wait to see that thing lift off (or explode, either way it will be spectacular!)!

oops. wall of text, but feel better getting it out! thanks for reading!