America the land of the informed on CNNNNN

[Charliewool]

The following is along the same lines. ( I KNOW it was posted before, but ages ago for those that haven't seen it)

The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. They were
posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual
responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how
do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them
die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
(Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list
of them in Brisbane,
Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
does not... oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come
naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of
the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna
Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after
the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All
Australian snakes are perfectly
harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. (yes right!!
)

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of bear and
lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum
trees and eat the brains
of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human
urine before you go out walking.

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it
in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is
smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
__________________

[MITCHAY]

Originally Posted by charliewool

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Now that is gold!

[nugget378]

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

Lol.... and dont the America haters just love it!!!

Anyone considered the fact that this is satire? Dont believe everything you see on TV... you might just wind up as ignorant as your beloved americans...

I'd rather be an ignorant american than a hypocritical australian

Its got nothing to do with hate.
I could tell you the story of a bus full of grown ups singing "he hasnt got a dollar" because someone didnt have the exact change.

[T3ts50]

You gotta love the logic of some, such as France should be the next country hit in the war on terror cause they were not their allies?

[4.9 EF Futura]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

The rest of the world is largely unimportant to the average american.

I was given a European geography quiz via email yesterday. I failed to place the following countries in their respective places.

Latvia
San Marino
Czech republic
Portugal
Bulgaria
Romania

Lol, im certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed. If i were asked on romanian TV to place their country on a map, they'd think i was somewhat retarted as well.

Like i said earlier... I would prefer to be ignorant than a hypocrite.

[merlin]

Originally Posted by charliewool

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna
Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after
the hippo races. Come naked.

Lol - I ordered a pair of $400 bike boots off ebay and after 3 months, numerous emails to the seller and a paypal refund, it was determined that he had sent them to "Sydney, Austria", and they had been sitting in the Austrian post office. I eventually got them delivered to Australia after a mere 4 month wait.

[nugget378]

Originally Posted by T3ts50

You gotta love the logic of some, such as France should be the next country hit in the war on terror cause they were not their allies?

Maybe a better question to have asked is "who was the USA's first ever ally".
Your either for us or against us :

[GMACK24]

Originally Posted by Psycho Chicken

Funny yes, but I bet you could do something similar in Australia with ease.

as a Yankee I agree with that statement : - )

[niko]

but they didn't just interveiw the one person and it wasn't of people in the not so well off areas...lol

[Jeeepers]

The only real problem with people in the States, as far as I can tell, is that America is drummed into them from day one. So much so, that many of them know very little of what's beyond the shoreline. It's sad, but true. That's what I see from outside anyways.

[Sourbastard]

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

I was given a European geography quiz via email yesterday. I failed to place the following countries in their respective places.

Latvia
San Marino
Czech republic
Portugal
Bulgaria
Romania

Lol, im certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed. If i were asked on romanian TV to place their country on a map, they'd think i was somewhat retarted as well.

Like i said earlier... I would prefer to be ignorant than a hypocrite.

Ill be happy as a hypocrit then, defending your ignorance to those of superior ignorance. That should keep everyone happy then eh? lol

So you misplaced 6 countries that reside in a rather large continent. I'd say that was quite good seeing you dont live in Europe. However if I changed the name of Russia to Iran, would you perhaps see through it? Im betting you would.

I did many terms of world geopgraphy in primary and high school, one of my friends has their kids currently going through high school in North Carolina, and they are just going over US geography over and over year after year. He can name the capital of New Mexico without thinking, but he couldnt tell you where Argentina is, and hes on the same Continent.

My point is, its an insular country, enforced to be so by the Education System and the Media Industry. Nothing important happens outside of the US, unless they happen to send troops there.

[Jeeepers]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Ill be happy as a hypocrit then, defending your ignorance to those of superior ignorance. That should keep everyone happy then eh? lol

My point is, its an insular country, enforced to be so by the Education System and the Media Industry. Nothing important happens outside of the US, unless they happen to send troops there.

Well put, and absofreakinlutely right in my book.

[fmc351]

Originally Posted by Redrum

Dumb or not, they are the only true Super Power!

Yeah, that thought keeps me up at nights too.

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

I was given a European geography quiz via email yesterday. I failed to place the following countries in their respective places.

Latvia
San Marino
Czech republic
Portugal
Bulgaria
Romania

Lol, im certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed. If i were asked on romanian TV to place their country on a map, they'd think i was somewhat retarted as well.

Like i said earlier... I would prefer to be ignorant than a hypocrite.

Its hardly the same, no-one seems to be suggesting they should be able to make a globe from coloured paper, paper clips and a balloon complete with latitude and longitude. Nth Korea is all over their news, they want to invade, fight, disarm it, I know where it is.

Oh btw, once a tart always a tart, you cant re-do it. :

[niko]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

My point is, its an insular country, enforced to be so by the Education System and the Media Industry. Nothing important happens outside of the US, unless they happen to send troops there.

+

Originally Posted by ORSM T

Well put, and absofreakinlutely right in my book.

and even then, they're unaware of what's going on lol

i believe there was a country that sounded similar to Kazahkstan (spelling) and people were asked wether or not they aggreed with Bush's new plans lol

[fmc351]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

... North Carolina, ...., but he couldnt tell you where Argentina is, and hes on the same Continent.

I agree with pretty much everything you wrote, but WTF???

[Sourbastard]

Originally Posted by fmc351

I agree with pretty much everything you wrote, but WTF???

Well technically anyway, South America is to be considered a seperate continent in its own right. My point stands however.

[XR Martin]

Originally Posted by T3ts50

You gotta love the logic of some, such as France should be the next country hit in the war on terror cause they were not their allies?

Have you never heard of NATO?

[XR Martin]

Originally Posted by merlin

Lol - I ordered a pair of $400 bike boots off ebay and after 3 months, numerous emails to the seller and a paypal refund, it was determined that he had sent them to "Sydney, Austria", and they had been sitting in the Austrian post office. I eventually got them delivered to Australia after a mere 4 month wait.

That happened to an English (?) tourist just the other week. He ended up in Australia when he was supposed to go to Austria.

EDIT: I was part right

A 21-year-old German tourist who wanted to visit his girlfriend in Sydney, Australia, landed 13,000km away near Sidney, Montana, after mistyping his destination on a flight booking website.

Dressed for the Australian summer in t-shirt and shorts, Tobi Gutt left Germany yesterday for a four-week holiday.
Instead of arriving "down under," Mr Gutt found himself on a different continent and bound for the chilly state of Montana.
"I did wonder but I didn't want to say anything," Gutt told the Bild newspaper. "I thought to myself, you can fly to Australia via the US."

Gutt's airline ticket routed him via the US city of Portland, Oregon, to Billings, Montana. Only as he was about to board a commuter flight to Sidney – an oil town of about 5000 people - did he realize his mistake.

Poor bugga

[Van D]

Originally Posted by ORSM T

The only real problem with people in the States, as far as I can tell, is that America is drummed into them from day one. So much so, that many of them know very little of what's beyond the shoreline. It's sad, but true. That's what I see from outside anyways.

Same.

I've had a couple friends go over last/this year as well, and they've said many of them are the same as the people from that video. When they told them they were from Australia many didn't know who/what/where it was.

I mean, I can get pretty confused with some European places, cos they're all together.. But somewhere like Australia on a map? If you can't point that out, sheesh.

[Miller]

I think the best part was when the fella was pretending to be John Howard and was like "Have you seen me on tv" n she was like "Yeeees I haaaaave"


Funny funny stuff

[Den.]

"uh, Canada?"

Thing is a lot of Americans DO think they should invade us and also that they have the right to.

I am a member of a few forums based in the U.S. and have had Americans out and out say just that to me. I was even told on one board that I had no right to an opinion as I wasn't American.

I had a clown on the AOL Forums tell me "You better shut up because one day we'll roll right over you too!!".

Oddly enough this guy has a Canadian who posts there and agrees with him!


I often tell these various people they should join/check forums based in the rest of the world, that they may be surprised at the opinion the rest of the world has of the States. They usually say something rather rude then and start namecalling and telling me I'm "UnAmerican". I answer, "No, Moron, I'm CANADIAN!! Duh!"

That just confuses them though.

Originally Posted by Ford_Boy

lol sri lanka a threat...ahahha star wars based on a true story

Apparently, they did just attack Somalia. Excuse? "the Taliban's there." Surrrre they are!

I wonder who's next?

Originally Posted by popinfresh

China'll have em soon if they're not careful.

Anyway, off from that...

Wow. Is all I can say.

Like, I know there's ignorant people in Australia too, but not even knowing what Australia was on the map? Sheesh.

They've suggested invading China actually because China is "stealing our oil" and "Stealing our resources" etc. They feel that the U.S. has "theirs" and no one else should! Problem is. They really believe this!

Originally Posted by sourbastard

I lived there for years, the video is accurate. Their schools are designed around teaching american history, geography, sociology. Their media empires are based around american news. The rest of the world is largely unimportant to the average american.

He's right. There is History and then there's "American History"!!

My wife and I took a wee vacation on our first anniversary to Fort George where it is one of the spots we held off the Americans during the War of 1812. Whilst demonstrating the unreliability of the musket (2 out of 5 shots were duds) the demonstrator who was quite entertaining as he "fires" the last dud shouts "BANG!!" HAHAHAHAA!!!

This led the American tourist in front of us to remark to his wife "no wonder they lost the war!"

I had to physically restrain my wife!!

But a lot of Americans DO believe THEY won the War of 1812. (The war that they faught against Canada AND LOST!!!)

I had a conversation with an American who told me they "never lost a war." and I replied "What about the war of 1812?"

He said "we won that one too."

(I don't think he actually KNEW what it WAS!!!!)

I replied. "Then, if YOU won, how come I'm not American?"

He looked at me with that "huh?" look.

I then explained that not only had they LOST but our troops kicked their asses SO badly that our Prime Minister who was half crazy and drunk most of the time chased them back across the border and BURNT DOWN THE WHITE HOUSE!!!! AHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!

I have found most Americans after I tell them this just deny it and refuse to admit it ever happened. They will actually say "That's a lie." etc.

HAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

[Den.]

Originally Posted by Ford_Boy

im sure most aussies would recognise america on a map and would know that its a hoax if it said north korea. dont they learn anything about the outside world? why on earth would sri lanka be a threat to usa? its ridiculous. i remember awhile back i was on a chat room and this girl thought australia was desert and there are kangaroos on the street. i told her we had the olympic games here and she had no idea i then gave her a link from google and she was shocked to have seen that we have majour cities like sydney and melbourne. i mean how can anyone think that countries are still out there with no majour cities?

They think Canadians live in Igloos!!

[smoo]

Hmmm if this thread was instead talking about the Arabs, Africans or Chinese in the same way, would it be condemned for being 'racist'?

[Den.]

Originally Posted by smoo

Hmmm if this thread was instead talking about the Arabs, Africans or Chinese in the same way, would it be condemned for being 'racist'?

here it would. In the states it would but only if you weren't American. *snort*

[4.9 EF Futura]

Originally Posted by smoo

Hmmm if this thread was instead talking about the Arabs, Africans or Chinese in the same way, would it be condemned for being 'racist'?

Probably.

But it's fashionable to give the Americans a hard time. Just like it was fashionable to support them for 3 months after the 11th of Sept those many moons ago.

Ooohhh... but then... watch out for people getting up on their high horses about "politically correct b***sh**".

Basically... dont question anyone on AFF. Ever.

[Ford_Boy]

Originally Posted by smoo

Hmmm if this thread was instead talking about the Arabs, Africans or Chinese in the same way, would it be condemned for being 'racist'?

yes, but we can bag americasns here because the rest of the world does lol. i just hate when people say americans are evil because of george bush's plans to find excuses to invade other countries. their government has brain washed alot of people but there is still smart people who have studied the rest of the world and don't buy into the media. if an aussie guy raped a girl and held up a bank then that would not make us rapist and bank robbers. the people of america don't have a huge influence on what the government does. its unfair to sterio type people but most are lacking knowlege of the outside world but its hardly their fault when all they teach in their school is american history. oh and america also lost the veitnam war.

[nugget378]

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

Probably.

But it's fashionable to give the Americans a hard time. Just like it was fashionable to support them for 3 months after the 11th of Sept those many moons ago.

Ooohhh... but then... watch out for people getting up on their high horses about "politically correct b***sh**".

Basically... dont question anyone on AFF. Ever.

You love playing that tune dont you,but really you should go for a visit,its about as close to a brainwashed populace of mtv zombies youll find..

[4.9 EF Futura]

Originally Posted by nugget378

You love playing that tune dont you,but really you should go for a visit,its about as close to a brainwashed populace of mtv zombies youll find..

Lol. Yes, im sure i'd get a good representation of the American populace over the course of a 4 week holiday in a few of the major cities.

As per Ford_Boy's comments, the generalisations thrown around in this thread are extremely unfair. For a bunch of brainwashed zombies, they've given the world a lot, and contributed a lot to mankind... both good and bad.

I need only to look into my chosen field (finance) to see examples of ingenuity and intelligence that have changed the way we live and that are leaps and bounds beyond the contributions of any other nation.

Plenty of stupid people in Australia, too. For example, those who make generalisations about 350,000,000 people because of who they elected. Because, you know, everyone in america votes dont they?

And i must be the dumbest Australian of all.... talking seriously in a thread like this...

Bring on the new series of the Chaser. Considering some of the personalities that will have a high profile for our election... should be one of their best series yet.

[Den.]

Originally Posted by nugget378

You love playing that tune dont you,but really you should go for a visit,its about as close to a brainwashed populace of mtv zombies youll find..

Yes it is. My wife used to HATE dealing with American tourists as they'd DEMAND we take their money at face value. No matter how much she'd tell them "But this is Canada" they'd have that "But I'M AMERICAN" attitude!

They don't just have an anti-France thing going (And THAT is QUITE real, I've even seen members of forums here suggest "nuking France"!!) but there was quite an Anti-Canada attitude for awhile and some still do.

One forum I'm on another member posted a Bush parody and apparently they thought it was me (I never even saw it!!) and one member apparently was quoted as saying "Take your Canadian opinions and keep them to yourself!!". HAHAHA!

Then again, we ARE talking about a country that kills 3000 Iraqi CIVILIANS per DAY and they are more concerned with Paris Hilton and "reality" T.V. then any of that! I suspect they think the Iraq war IS just a reality T.V. show!

(Then again, Canadians are almost as bad as far as celebrity worship goes!)

Try living right next to them!!! Just waiting for them to invade one day! One reason I'd like to move to Australia is I get the impression you guys wouldn't just let them in whilst I highly suspect most Canadians will not only welcome them but half of us will be taking down the speed limit signs in preparation to change from Kilometres to Miles per Hour!

[XR Martin]

Originally Posted by Den.

Yes it is. My wife used to HATE dealing with American tourists as they'd DEMAND we take their money at face value. No matter how much she'd tell them "But this is Canada" they'd have that "But I'M AMERICAN" attitude!

They don't just have an anti-France thing going (And THAT is QUITE real, I've even seen members of forums here suggest "nuking France"!!) but there was quite an Anti-Canada attitude for awhile and some still do.

One forum I'm on another member posted a Bush parody and apparently they thought it was me (I never even saw it!!) and one member apparently was quoted as saying "Take your Canadian opinions and keep them to yourself!!". HAHAHA!

Then again, we ARE talking about a country that kills 3000 Iraqi CIVILIANS per DAY and they are more concerned with Paris Hilton and "reality" T.V. then any of that! I suspect they think the Iraq war IS just a reality T.V. show!
!

Sounds like your the one whos brainwashed, 3000 a day? Year right. And how exactly is America killing them. If you actually looked at the conflict, most deaths are related to sectarian violence. People with hundreds of years of hatred built up are now allowed to unleash it on each other due to the lack of law and order. Fact is a majority of them wanted Saddam gone, him being a Sunni, gave favor to these people (who made up only 20% of the popluation) and heavily oppressed the majority (shi'its and Kurds).