Funny stories involving the Police

[notice]

my uncle is a federal or state officer for ten years i think now. i was in his vy with him in just out of sydney. when we got pulled over when then highway patrol cop came to his window he wasn't wearing his hat.
mine you at this stage i had no idea what he was doing and my uncle started to drive off the only 20 meters then stop by that time the hp ran to his xr6 stop and look at us up the road ran up with his hand on his pistol and started yelling what do you think your doing
my uncle then turned around and told him he wasn't in full uniform and if he didnt go put his hat on he was going to talk to his intendent or something

my family is either army navy or police(no chairforce) so there's alot of good ones i can tell you

[notice]

i almost forgot to mention im on my green p's (fulls in two months) and drive a 77 302 boss f100 that i got a prohibited vehicle permit for 23 bucks a letter from work stating there's no public transport sweet! two days after getting it and driving my beloved effy music going, 302, twin exhaust notice some flashing oops got pulled over "apparently" he had being trying to stop me for "several blocks" even tho i just turn onto the street from my nans.
tells me to get out lift the hood takes my license counts the ignition leads you got 8 mate your getting a ticket for driving a prohibited vehicle on your p's just as i was trying to tell him that i have a permit he cuts me off and tells me to get back to my vehicle or im getting another ticket.
i was waiting for like 10mins with the permit in my hands and a ******* tow truck from albury auto rocks up cop gets out of his car hands me the a hand full of paper and asks for my keys at that stage i was losing the plot and yelled "hey ****** you wanna look at this first"......well at the end of it he told me why didn't i produce this earlier and had to apologize to the towwy for wasting his time after some phone calls to family and uncle i went to the station with all the papers the cop gave me the bloke behind the counter said we cant be having this and he disapears and there be dammed out rolls "Mr don't like to listen him self" had to come out and apologize to me... the guy behind the counter was his boss

[Skotty]

Best one I got is actually fair recent...

Few weeks ago, was going upto narine at about 11pm... missed the turn, and done a u-turn... got pulled over cop thought we might of been drinking.. asked where we were going to which I come back with "Going to Narine to see me mates new missus to see how dog ugly she is".. cop said "dont say nothing to ya mate if she is till she is a ex".. I said 'Mate that is my missus sitting in the back and I told her a few times she aint too good to her face, so I'll tell me mate.." coppa:.. "You aint no oil painting yaself mate"... owned by the cop :(...

One a few of the adeliade boys might know..

We took my mates BA Falcon out to Port Gawler a few weeks ago to cut some hoops and muck around on the salt lake lol... also had 4 stockys in the boot... after having out fun on the salt lake done some nice burnouts in the middle of the sticks... someone called the cops... he came out as we were changing tyres... and sees the stockys.. "what a beautiful job mate! didn't think BA's could do a half decent skid, but why thrash a BA on the salt lake?".. then said 'ahh well atleast ya were being sensabie doing burnouts in no mans land and not in town, but I have 15 mins till the end of my shift, if it was any longer ya woulda lost the car for 7 days..

[Reesa]

Thought id resurect this one with a few stories!

First one, i was following an FG xr6 one night when i slowed to let me pass, about 1k down the road on went the blues and 2s and the fella walked up to me window, 'ok mate i pulled you over because i noticed youv got a tail light out' to which i replied 'oh well im glad you pulled me over sir because i wanted to let you know that you also have a brake light out, copper pauses, walks to the rear of his car, asks his partner to hit the brakes, returns to my car and says, thanks for that mate, be sure to get that tail light fixed up and have a good night!

Another one, mate of mine, being a bit of an idiot one night and driving home from a party very drunk and stoned, sees an RBT setup up ahead, thinking to himself oh **** im done here, he gets close enough to the coppers for the cop to see his face. the cop takes one look at him, mouths a profanity of some sort and waves him past without being tested. My mate loves that his footy coach is also the local copper!

Then of course there is my mate who drove around in his 202 kingswood with zoomie pipes just to see how long til he got defected. 2 weeks he made it! apparently the copper pulled him over and just said 'mate, your ******* kidding me arent ya!?' hahhaha

[Tonz]

Many years ago in Christchurch NZ bobbies were using unmarked vehicles of any sort. Word got out one nasty peice was using Mini Cooper S.


hmmmm plan set into operation. With local car clib permission 2 way radios were used.
Now we see bobbies mini come onto scene at major interesection traffic lights, lights go green and my Mini plus Holden Kingswood take off like greassed s***, bobby is left behind, next lights much reving of motors including bobby (we supposedly dont know hes a copper)
False jump star ...lights still red a bobby keeps going trouble old landrover was planned to go through at same time.
Bobby goes bang into side of said rover 1 mini destroyed, bobby lost all dignaty. Locals won.

[fatcorty]

I saw a Cop pull out in front of someone with no lights or sirens and get tboned, totally the cops fault yet the person who hit him was charged with several offended in an attempt to cover up the incompetent driving.

[v8falconsrule]

didn't happen to me (i'm far too boring) but a mate when we were in year 12-

ol matey decides to take a little unlicensed ride on his unregistered dirt bike. was living out of town and only had to duck across the road and travel up the other side for about a km to get to another mates property. bugger all chance of getting done right????

after a few hours mucking about, decides to head back down road... trouble was local boys just happen to come along behind and flick on the party lights.

all old matey could think was that he was going for his L's that week, if he gets done he'll have to wait longer before getting his license..... figures his best bet is to hightail it down a little bush track. track is pretty rough and features a pretty hardcore gully crossing. goes roaring through on the bike, dust blinding everthing behind him and figures he's lost them, and even if he hasn't there's no way they'd take the patrol car over the gully.

he didn't figure they don't own the car, and were right behind him the whole time...when the dust clears there's the boys in blue to escort him home to his parents. let him off with a very stern warning, his parents grounded the bike for 6 months though.....

[G6E Turbo 2]

Many years ago I was a passenger in a VW with my mate, we were smoking weed and being a bit silly in traffic when the lights changed we took off, as much as you do in a VW in 1974, when a cop bike spotted us and turned around to pull us over. We took off , up this street down that one, around that corner and stopped, got out of the car and the cop skidded in the gravel and fell off his bike
He got up and got stuck into me mate saying what was he doing driving around acting the goat being silly, Too which my stoned mate, the son of a Crown Sargent says, I did'nt just fall off my bike.....
That's when the trouble started LOL LOL

[TheInterceptor]

Originally Posted by Tonz

Many years ago in Christchurch NZ bobbies were using unmarked vehicles of any sort. Word got out one nasty peice was using Mini Cooper S.


hmmmm plan set into operation. With local car clib permission 2 way radios were used.
Now we see bobbies mini come onto scene at major interesection traffic lights, lights go green and my Mini plus Holden Kingswood take off like greassed s***, bobby is left behind, next lights much reving of motors including bobby (we supposedly dont know hes a copper)
False jump star ...lights still red a bobby keeps going trouble old landrover was planned to go through at same time.
Bobby goes bang into side of said rover 1 mini destroyed, bobby lost all dignaty. Locals won.

Love it!

[Falc'man]

This guy gets pulled over for speeding...

The young officer asks him for his licence and driver says with an angry tone "get it yourself, it's under the handgun in the glovebox."

The nervous young officer asked why he would be carrying a gun to which the driver replies with a smile of a psychopath, "I car-jacked this car, the owner wouldn't give up her precious little car and now she's dead, and in the boot."

The young officer stumbles back and radios for assistance and 500 officers are there within 2 seconds surrounding the vehicle..

The commanding officer walks up calmly to the vehicle and asks the driver to slowly open the glovebox.... driver complies and no gun was there. He asks him to open his boot, he does so but no body was found in the boot.

The commander, now a little puzzled, says to the driver "the constable told us you had a gun in the glovebox, and that you shot the owner of this car and hid her in the boot!!"

Driver says "yeah, he'll probably tell I was speeding too."

[Zero_PSI]

Had a woman cop pull me over not long after buying my XR6. She had me pop the bonnet, I did...after a few minuites of her trying to get it open she finally found the latch. She looks around for a few minuites and then turns to me, "where's the blow off valve"....'I don't have one'...."it's a turbo isn't it?"....'no?'...."********, they're all turbo"....'nah, they made a NA 6 too'..."well what's this hiding?" *points to exhaust sheild*...."a heat sheild"....

She continues to search engine bay and finally agrees that it's not a turbo. Climbs in the cab and asks where the boost gauge is? You can imagine the conversation.

Then after lifting the tarp...she asks where the nitrous is.....

Finally I'm let go after being told I'm lucky she's in a good mood otherwise I'd have a defect.

[Falc'man]

Originally Posted by Zero_PSI

Had a woman cop pull me over not long after buying my XR6. She had me pop the bonnet, I did...after a few minuites of her trying to get it open she finally found the latch. She looks around for a few minuites and then turns to me, "where's the blow off valve"....'I don't have one'...."it's a turbo isn't it?"....'no?'...."********, they're all turbo"....'nah, they made a NA 6 too'..."well what's this hiding?" *points to exhaust sheild*...."a heat sheild"....

She continues to search engine bay and finally agrees that it's not a turbo. Climbs in the cab and asks where the boost gauge is? You can imagine the conversation.

Then after lifting the tarp...she asks where the nitrous is.....

Finally I'm let go after being told I'm lucky she's in a good mood otherwise I'd have a defect.

[geckoGT]

Originally Posted by Zero_PSI

Had a woman cop pull me over not long after buying my XR6. She had me pop the bonnet, I did...after a few minuites of her trying to get it open she finally found the latch. She looks around for a few minuites and then turns to me, "where's the blow off valve"....'I don't have one'...."it's a turbo isn't it?"....'no?'...."********, they're all turbo"....'nah, they made a NA 6 too'..."well what's this hiding?" *points to exhaust sheild*...."a heat sheild"....

She continues to search engine bay and finally agrees that it's not a turbo. Climbs in the cab and asks where the boost gauge is? You can imagine the conversation.

Then after lifting the tarp...she asks where the nitrous is.....

Finally I'm let go after being told I'm lucky she's in a good mood otherwise I'd have a defect.

Defect for what, can you get one for not having a BOV and boost gauge?

[Zero_PSI]

I'd love to see the reaction when she went back to the station all high and mighty and said, "some ******** tried to tell me his xr6 isn't turbo'd".

[geckoGT]

"well what's this hiding?" *points to exhaust sheild*...."the hyperdrive"....

She continues to search engine bay and finally agrees that it's not a turbo. Climbs in the cab and asks where the flux capacitor is?

Then after lifting the tarp...she asks where the after burners are.....

.

[Zero_PSI]

^ Ahahahahah!

[Falc'man]

Originally Posted by Zero_PSI

I'd love to see the reaction when she went back to the station all high and mighty and said, "some ******** tried to tell me his xr6 isn't turbo'd".

Now that would have been just as funny... "oh come on! don't tell us you were fooled by the 'nah it's-only-a-heat-shield trick'?" /then fights back laughter.

[J.C.]

At the time I was working for a dealership as a resident serviceman. Now there were many of us in field service Ford Couriers 4x4s.
This particular incident involved a friend of mine travelling the Glenden road at a great rate of knots in his field service the. Now those of you who have travelled this road know what it's like. Very little traffic and typically your back access style of road with scrub close to the roads edge.
Anyway, it was getting dry and the wildlife were on the move, as was the local copper. He proceeded to pull my mate over. He walks up to the drivers side door fairly upset and proceeded to yell "what do you think you are doing driving so fast? Don't you know there are pigs everywhere around here?"
My mate couldn't help himself. He burst into laughter as the officer realised what he had said and stood there with a dumbfounded look on his face.
Unfortunately for my mate, the policeman didn't find the comment as amusing.

[landau460]

Me and a mate descided to take my landau to the cross for a cruise. Him with a full licence me with a learners licence.
I'm talkin away to mate not realy lookin when my mate brings to my attention pretty loudly that i'm about to run through a red light which had a copper stopped at it in the same direction i was going. I stopped pretty good.
So the lights went green and we both moved off both to turn right along william st to head up to the big coke sign. Got through that set of light to find the cops behind me in the right hand lane with their lights on to pull me over. Had trouble getting to left but eventually did. Got my wallet out so did my mate awaiting the cop. When the cop came up to my window and said are you the driver of this vehicle....... I did'nt now what to reply with and sort of kept quiet, with which he replied with his own answer of course you are.
Then he asked for my licence saw my learners then asked for my mates licence went to his car came back a minute or two later handed us both our cards and said that the reason he pulled us over was because my mate who had a full licence looked younger than me with the learners which was true, then he left

[Captain Stubing]

On the other side... I was driving the work truck, stopped at a red light... fully kitted out with forensic gear, complete with blue and red light bar, and speed inhibiting stickers, when a bloke driving a RWD V8 took the left turn beside me, sinking the boot in to lose a bit of traction. Of course everyone turns to look at me, "What are you going to do about it?"

Bugger! I took off after him and pulled him over. When I spoke with this mid 40 year old bloke, he was crapping himself. Handing over his licence with shaking hands, I asled him if he had any excuse for driving like a $*%@, and he said it was his workboots that slipped on the accelerator!!!!

I told him he was full of it, but I let him off. It's been loooonnnngggg time since I wrote a ticket! Not all coppers like traffic work.

[Gyoul2 Fairlane]

haha there about 12 months ago one of our cows got hit on the d'aguilar highway at kilcoy and my mother saw it happen as she was driving home from work so she told dad about it when she got home about 3 mins after it happened he went around there on the tractor with the gun to put the cow down when i go there dad and one of the coppas were havin a good old convo about the gun dad had he was bragin about how good it was and so on meanwhile the other police man noticed another cow laying just off the road (which waqs only laying there not hurt) and the coppa proceeded to lean down to pat and see if it was ok while saying I think i found another cow the next thing the cow has jumped up and charged straight at the coppa standing about a meter in front of it sending him flying the full width of the road he ended up layin on the road moaning right next to the other officer who just looked and laughed at the cop layin on the ground the ambo then pulled up and the driver of ambo walked over to the driver of the car which hit the cow (he was fine and standing with the coppa that was fine) and said who is the injured one here the driver of the car then said i think he is the one you need to look at they then took a look at the hurt coppa then when and got a strecher and took the coppa to the ambo and took him to hospital turns out he broke his colar bone funnyest night ever tryin not to **** my self laughin

[naddis01]

That has to be the longest sentence i have ever seen!

[jaydee]

Originally Posted by naddis01

That has to be the longest sentence i have ever seen!

No it's not, there must be more to come, there's still no full stop.
Waiting for chapter 2.
Sorry mate, just having a laugh at your expense.

[2011G6E]

My old four cylinder Commodore many years ago had a trailer plug wired into the taillights of the car with those rediculous plastic press-on clips that "splice" (kind of...) the wires together. As a result, now and then all the taillights would go out, and then just as suddenly come back on, without blowing any fuses. It was one of those "I'll fix it one day" things.

I was driving out of town back home one night, and saw a police car following me. He followed through several turns, and I made sure I stuck exactly on the limit. He eventually flicked on his lights and got me to pull over. I stopped the car, put it in park, turned it off, and killed the lights, then got out to see what he wanted.

The young cop said "No big deal mate, just wanted to let you know your taillights were out...your number plate light was on, and I could see your headlights on the road in front of you, but your taillights don't work".
I forgot for the moment about the trailer light wiring, and said "really?, and he said "Yep, turn them on and I'll show you".

I turned the lights on as he stood behind the car, and the taillights, of course, all came on.
He was dumfounded, and said, after a pause, "But...but...they weren't working...honestly...I could see your headlights, and your number plate light was on...but your taillights weren't...believe me!"

I then remembered about the wiring and told him, and he hesitated again and returned to his car, saying "Yes well...just make sure and get it fixed...good night..."

[dave351cid]

we were on our way out to a job about a year or so ago and as i was waiting for traffic to pass so i could turn right off the highway into Turkey beach road, i was watching some cars parked waiting to pull out onto the highway.

the guy in the first car ( hilux tray back) must have decided he was out a bit too close to the passing traffic and decided to reverse up a bit. apparently the mirrors wernt working on the hilux because parked right behind him was a police commodore in full colours and behind that was a 100 series landcruiser also in full police trim.

the look on the coppers face as the hilux tray ripped their bonnet open almost matched the look on the hilux drivers face when he looked back to see what he hit and all he could see was police cars.

hmmmmmmm....... would have been fun to hear that conversation.

[purnong]

Originally Posted by 2011G6E

My old four cylinder Commodore many years ago had a trailer plug wired into the taillights of the car with those rediculous plastic press-on clips that "splice" (kind of...) the wires together. As a result, now and then all the taillights would go out, and then just as suddenly come back on, without blowing any fuses. It was one of those "I'll fix it one day" things.

My 2011 FG XR6T came with those fitted at the dealer, Lucky me
I arced up about it because I reckon these things are evil and the dealer and fitter couldn't see the problem
The fitter even said he uses the 67 cent good ones and not the 16 cent cheapies

[Gyoul2 Fairlane]

Originally Posted by jaydee

No it's not, there must be more to come, there's still no full stop.
Waiting for chapter 2.
Sorry mate, just having a laugh at your expense.

haha thats alright mate good to know i made some one laugh and i had to hit enter my fingers were getin sore from the non stop typin with no pauses and i was lossin my breath

[davenl5l]

got pulled over on my custom shovel harley years ago got singled out of a pack of ten or so on greenhill rd adelaide by a bike cop who said i was riding un registered. had a new custom plate and it didnt show up on his computer. plate no. was UP U2 anyway made him get on hands and knee's to look at rego disc. then bugger me dead he didnt defect me for my 2" drag pipes but drag raced me from every set of lights until i turned off to go to the adelaide hills !!

[Vincenzo]

Greetings - Canberra 1976 - all the hoons hung out at a fish an' chip shop in Braddon half way between the Ford and Chrysler dealerships. As I drive past in my souped up (brake pads, exhaust and gas shocks) Galant all the guys in their HJ panel vans laughed at me calling my car a sowing machine. Annoyed at what they said I drove around the block and came past again and called them all a bunch of f$%&wits. Looking in the mirror I saw three of them peel out of the carpark and take off after me.

Scared for my life I did the only safe thing and headed for the Stromlo forest and the rally tracks I knew so well. Down through O'Connor, around Black Mountain and straight into the forest at the first entrance - the Panelvans were 150 metres behind me. Once in there I knew they would never get near me.

Half an hour later I came out of the forest near Weston. No one following me so I head toward Woden. Suddenly from out of nowhere the headlights of a HJ suddenly appear behind me. All I can think of is I'm dead.

At the Woden shops I turn left and head toward the city via the main road at full speed. I never looked in the mirror again. Had I have done so I would have noticed that the HJ has flashing lights and sirens. Unfortunately the Traffic Sergeant had a sedan equipped with a red six motor and was unable to catch me. Next thing I know there are two XA / XB pursuit Falcons near the Prime Ministers residence waiting and basically pincer movement me off the road.

You can guess what happened next. The traffic Sergeant balled me out for 15 minutes then said I was clocked doing 80 kmph above the limit but would be booked for 40 kmph above the limit. He asked me why I was speeding and I told him the truth. His comment was along the lines of that is so much B/S it could only be true.

One month later no Court summons. Three months later no Court summons. Nine months later I get pulled over by two officers who were bored.

They asked to see my licence and walked back to the car to radio through a check. When they came back they asked me if I had been involved in a chase about nine months previous. Sheepishly I said yes that was me and expected to be given a summons for court.

Basically they told me that I will never go to court for it. Apparently the Traffic Sergeant got so much stick from the other Traffic Officers and Detectives that a 17 y/o in a standard engined Galant (76Kw at the flywheel) out drove him they did not want the magistrates to know.

[au2000]

mate of mine was a toggie back in the 80's when he was driving down the nepean hwy in his canary yellow vl turbo, big POLICE letters across the face of the boot doing the limit.
up behind him tears a lady in a toyota, tailgates him, pulls out & passes him. so my mate turns on the lights & is looking forward to the story, asks what she was thinking & her reply was,... I did not see you, where did you come from??


a few years later 5 am on the way to work going along the princess hwy to geelong, im catching a marked police car in the right lane slowing down to stop & pull onto the grass in between the roads to set up his radar, car behind me passes me, tailgates the police car then highbeams him, police car pulls off to let him pass, the turns on the lights.... funniest thing i ever saw...