How to fix the economy

[flappist]

I got this in an email.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $5,000,000 each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings -
Unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car. Ten million cars ordered -
Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/TAFE/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 worth of alcohol and $200 worth of petrol a week ......and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

As I am 50 I reckon this is a FANTASTIC idea.....

Although I can think of a few loopholes

[snappy]

One problem i can see is the fall of population growth through pregenacies all those young women trading in there young fella's for suga dadies .
Give me the heads up if its ever going to happen ill make sure to buy some stocks in viagra.

[flappist]

Originally Posted by snappy

One problem i can see is the fall of population growth through pregenacies all those young women trading in there young fella's for suga dadies .

But on the other hand the children will be MUCH smarter :P

[Jim Goose]

Er...

So the email says that 50% of the aussie population is older then 50yrs of age?

Ok...

Next.... $5 000 000 each to 10 000 000 people... is $50 000 000 000 000 !

What a great plan....

[4Vman]

Originally Posted by flappist

I got this in an email.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $5,000,000 each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings -
Unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car. Ten million cars ordered -
Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/TAFE/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 worth of alcohol and $200 worth of petrol a week ......and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

As I am 50 I reckon this is a FANTASTIC idea.....

Although I can think of a few loopholes

You must have had a big night last night..! Congrats by the way!

[flappist]

Originally Posted by Jim Goose

Er...

So the email says that 50% of the aussie population is older then 50yrs of age?

Ok...

Next.... $5 000 000 each to 10 000 000 people... is $50 000 000 000 000 !

What a great plan....

Yes it is......

That is about half the revenue from speed cameras, poker machines, petrol excise and alcopop tax, next year.......

[flappist]

Originally Posted by 4Vman

You must have had a big night last night..! Congrats by the way!

Thanks Norm, yes it was huge. Off to the land of the hobbits for a couple of weeks tomorrow......

[Jim Goose]

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $5,000,000 each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

Umm lets see.. how about the loss of skilled experienced people?
Doctors, tradesmen,teachers, nurses etc...
Not to mention that most will be bored stupid
Then the fact you 10million unemployed people
Which doesnt look good for Australia's rating internationally
Not to mention that some of these people are already retired

They MUST buy a new Australian car. Ten million cars ordered -
Car Industry fixed

And the strain on resources?
Where is the skilled labour?
How long will they have to wait for a car?
What do we make here? 2million a year?

They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

Wrong... wrong wrong
Blind freddy can see more holes in this plan then the titanic.
Consider that most these people already have a house at 50yrs of age.
Those that dont will simply force the housing market into an upward spiral anyways since greedy real estate agents will tell sellers to mark the price up because these people are "rich" and can afford it....

Therefor housing will be unaffordable within a few months for those still working

They MUST send their kids to school/TAFE/university -
Crime rate fixed

Ummm.. how many people at 50yrs of age have children of school age?
Even so, you cant force a child once they hit 14/15yrs of age to go to school.
So it fails..

They MUST buy $100 worth of alcohol and $200 worth of petrol a week ......and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

So then you have 10million people who become alcoholics because they dont have a job or anything to do???
Heres the kicker....
Force them to buy $200 a week in petrol?????
Umm... where does one burn $200 a week in petrol???

Lets see... 10million unemployed people with nothing to do driving around drunk because they have to burn $200 worth of petrol a week ?!?!?!?

Not to mention the impact on the cost of fuel.... supply/ demand.
The impact on the environment...
The impact on already choking highways and suburben roads..
The overflowing hospitals full of victims of drunken crashes/ and patients whose liver have failed because of alcohol abuse....

Bit late for April 1st isnt it???

[flappist]

Originally Posted by Jim Goose

Umm lets see.. how about the loss of skilled experienced people?
Doctors, tradesmen,teachers, nurses etc...
Not to mention that most will be bored stupid
Then the fact you 10million unemployed people
Which doesnt look good for Australia's rating internationally
Not to mention that some of these people are already retired




And the strain on resources?
Where is the skilled labour?
How long will they have to wait for a car?
What do we make here? 2million a year?



Wrong... wrong wrong
Blind freddy can see more holes in this plan then the titanic.
Consider that most these people already have a house at 50yrs of age.
Those that dont will simply force the housing market into an upward spiral anyways since greedy real estate agents will tell sellers to mark the price up because these people are "rich" and can afford it....

Therefor housing will be unaffordable within a few months for those still working



Ummm.. how many people at 50yrs of age have children of school age?
Even so, you cant force a child once they hit 14/15yrs of age to go to school.
So it fails..



So then you have 10million people who become alcoholics because they dont have a job or anything to do???
Heres the kicker....
Force them to buy $200 a week in petrol?????
Umm... where does one burn $200 a week in petrol???

Lets see... 10million unemployed people with nothing to do driving around drunk because they have to burn $200 worth of petrol a week ?!?!?!?

Not to mention the impact on the cost of fuel.... supply/ demand.
The impact on the environment...
The impact on already choking highways and suburben roads..
The overflowing hospitals full of victims of drunken crashes/ and patients whose liver have failed because of alcohol abuse....

Bit late for April 1st isnt it???

Your login is without doubt one of the most appropriate on the forum.

Here is a link http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satire

Please get someone to click it and explain its contents to you.....

[Jim Goose]

Originally Posted by flappist

Your login is without doubt one of the most appropriate on the forum.

Here is a link http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/satire

Please get someone to click it and explain its contents to you.....

Ahh sorry I forget... in typical fashion when someone is unable to argue/ discuss the topic, they stoop to calling people names.

And in case you dont know, I know who Jim Goose is.
But you obviously havent got a clue......

Heres food for thought...

When starting a "discussion" be prepared to (shock horror)... find people whos opion differ. If you don't have the stomach to come up with decent replys/ rebuttals.... then don't post.

Not the first time this has happened is it?

[4Vman]

Originally Posted by Jim Goose

Ahh sorry I forget... in typical fashion when someone is unable to argue/ discuss the topic, they stoop to calling people names.

And in case you dont know, I know who Jim Goose is.
But you obviously havent got a clue......

Heres food for thought...

When starting a "discussion" be prepared to (shock horror)... find people whos opion differ. If you don't have the stomach to come up with decent replys/ rebuttals.... then don't post.

Not the first time this has happened is it?

His original post was a joke....... "satire"...

Give him a break.. he's had a life changing weekend...!

[vztrt]

I got this e-mail about 6 months ago. So another for the 'Joke' thread!

Congrats to Flappist...for whatever had happened.

[flappist]

Originally Posted by Jim Goose

Ahh sorry I forget... in typical fashion when someone is unable to argue/ discuss the topic, they stoop to calling people names.

And in case you dont know, I know who Jim Goose is.
But you obviously havent got a clue......

Heres food for thought...

When starting a "discussion" be prepared to (shock horror)... find people whos opion differ. If you don't have the stomach to come up with decent replys/ rebuttals.... then don't post.

Not the first time this has happened is it?

You mean the motorcycle cop on Mad Max. Yes I remember when I first saw the movie back in 1979. When did you see it?

The topic is total satire. Even if you were not bright enough to work that out from the original post my replies may have been a bit of a give away.

If you had made satirical replies then it would have be obvious you got the joke.

And you are right, this is not the first time you have had no idea whatsoever about the subject of a thread and have gone off like a pork chop in the sun.

[Adamz Ghia]

I quite like that idea (if only), and I could easilly burn $200 in petrol a week, I have the Great Ocean Road and the Otways right at my door step...

[Jim Goose]

Oh its sattire.... is that what it is???

[Revolver]

[QUOTE=4Vman]His original post was a joke....... "satire"...QUOTE]

Yes.... with flappist, hes a bit of a satirist, & sometimes it can take a few reads before you totally get the picture. Some of his stuff are like those movies where your always getting little bits of info for the final twist, & dont really find out EVERYTHING till youve watched the thing a number of times. Hes at the 50 yrs mark, most of his stuff goes over the younger blokes heads.......

Originally Posted by 4Vman

Give him a break.. he's had a life changing weekend...!

So flappist, what is the life changing moment? Did you get that 5mill?

[4Vman]

Originally Posted by Blue Beast II

So flappist, what is the life changing moment? Did you get that 5mill?

He signed half of it away....!

[Polyal]

Got married then?

[Revolver]

5mil at 45% tax is damn close to 50%,

& If he did get married (congrats flappist, if so) that leaves him with 25% total!

[Full Noise]

Originally Posted by 4Vman

He signed half of it away....!

Originally Posted by Polyal

Got married then?

Bloody Hell. If all you wanted to do was give up having sex, you should have just told her. You don’t have to get married to prove a point.

[4Vman]

Originally Posted by Full Noise

Bloody Hell. If all you wanted to do was give up having sex, you should have just told her. You don’t have to get married to prove a point.

[JC]

Originally Posted by Full Noise

Bloody Hell. If all you wanted to do was give up having sex, you should have just told her. You don’t have to get married to prove a point.

What food item is known to turn women off sex for life????? Wedding cake!

Flappist is 50, Goose is cooked, and people who have money and are not looking for work aren't unemployed.

Sounds like a great plan - I'll be that old in less than 1/4 of my life to date, so would suit me if it gets a guernesy around then.

[flappist]

Yes I did get married. Thanks for the congrats. No $5,000,000 though (or even half).

No one seems to have twigged that there are not 10,000,000 people actually employed in Australia let alone over 50 although I have heard that baby boomers do twice the work of gen x & y put together

[Scott]

Originally Posted by flappist

No one seems to have twigged that there are not 10,000,000 people actually employed in Australia let alone over 50 although I have heard that baby boomers do twice the work of gen x & y put together

Sorry, I stopped reading at "there are about 10 million people over 50 in the workforce", rolled my eyes and skipped straight ahead to the suckers.

[Revolver]

Originally Posted by GTP006

Sorry, I stopped reading at "there are about 10 million people over 50 in the workforce", rolled my eyes and skipped straight ahead to the suckers.

Same here, I twigged at that, went ok this may be hypothetical, & by the end of the first post I was laughing so hard my brother almost called the ambo's!

[uranium_death]

Got this email months ago...I did find it very, very good. The person that sent it to me is in his mid-50s. He has always bought Falcons for years, but got a VW Passat a little over a year ago and still marvels at it.

Hmmm...if I get anything worthwhile, I'll take note to pass it on....

[ryanstev]

What I like is the fact they're talking about giving $5,000,000 to 10,000,000 people and don't realise that that doesn't add up to $50 billion, like they think, but actually $50 trillion.

The very first set of numbers in the email and it's so far out.

[04redxr8]

Originally Posted by flappist

I have heard that baby boomers do twice the work of gen x & y put together

I take exception to this. I am Gen X, have been laying tiles for 16 years, and never met a Baby Boomer, who could lay half the amount of tiles in a day that I can.

As for the OP, isn't that roughly what we give our Pollies?

A better idea than the $100 on alcohol, would be to just raise taxes on Viagra. Imagine the sales tax revenue if over 50's had nothing better to do?

[onfire]

Originally Posted by flappist

I got this in an email.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them $5,000,000 each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Ten million job openings -
Unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new Australian car. Ten million cars ordered -
Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/TAFE/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy $100 worth of alcohol and $200 worth of petrol a week ......and there's your money back in duty/tax etc

As I am 50 I reckon this is a FANTASTIC idea.....

Although I can think of a few loopholes

Whats this, a leaked email from the office of the Prime Minister?

But really, you want to fix the economy? You take the billions the government spends on scaremongering and replicating Orwell's 1984 and put the money into the development and preservation of local manufacturing. Give Australian's an incentive to buy locally produced clothing, cars and technologies.

[GTpilot]

Hillarious, But must admint Flappist, These days I take every post of yours a "hypothecial" You are famous for them afterall!!

If this were the case, I'd be looking to buy a tow truck company in anticipation of all the drunken over 50's driving/crashing their brand new cars.
Jim Goose, You owe me for medical costs after I fell off the stool laughing.