Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated.

Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar
Reload this Page A Man's Revenge :)
Register FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 30-01-2005, 09:59 AM   #1
bindi
Redhead extraordinaire...
 
bindi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Blue Mountains, NSW
Posts: 2,049
Default A Man's Revenge :)
This joke was emailed to me recently...


"So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?".

Realising that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

We went out for a nice lunch and then went to shop at Harrods. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her that we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think that she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think that I threw her a loop when I said "That's fine honey".

She was almost reaching sexual satisfaction from all the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: "No honey, I don't feel like it".

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled: "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD the stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman" And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added. "Why can't you love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. "
__________________
Bindi
88 EA- his car
88 Rolla - MY car
Quote:
Originally Posted by big_waity
Oh, and another surefire symptom will be the Falcon badge at the back.
bindi is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 10:53 AM   #2
champsky
THCC Motorsport member 1
 
champsky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: the ghetto....no im being serious!
Posts: 1,139
Default
rofl lol ive heard that one before but it still cracks me up lol

i sooooo want a partner to try that one out on lol
__________________
Southcyde Designs<------click here :

Member of the MTAS
Founder of TTM (team twink motorsport)

Founder of the AFFDDPS (Australian Ford Forums Drink Driving Punishment Squad)
champsky is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 10:55 AM   #3
Casper
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Contributing Member
 
Casper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 12,083
Default
:
__________________
Older, wiser, poorer.


Now in Euro-Trash. VW Coupe V6 4motion.
Casper is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 11:08 AM   #4
klawsterfobik
Bad Music and Litre Bikes
 
klawsterfobik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Westmeadows
Posts: 2,446
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by bindi
We went out for a nice lunch and then went to shop at Harrods.
LOL.. good joke, but i'd heard it before. I thought that line said Herrods, instead of Harrods. I thought thats not going to make her happy...

Casper, that fish cracks me up everytime.
__________________
XY Wagon - NAKED!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gammaboy
Anyway. Enough reality, back to the topic.
klawsterfobik is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 01:11 PM   #5
Pursuit_chick
E-series mutantette
 
Pursuit_chick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Murray Bridge, SA
Posts: 270
Default
lol heard it before, nice one
__________________
'93 ED GLi Falcon
White, auto, performance 15's,
Pioneer DEH-P4650 MP3 H/U, Pioneer 6's.
Future mods: Speed Holes!
Pursuit_chick is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 01:17 PM   #6
Feathers
Lucifer's Angel
 
Feathers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5,282
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by klawsterfobik
I thought that line said Herrods, instead of Harrods. I thought thats not going to make her happy...
I personally would prefer if it was Herrods, that would make me very happy... :
__________________
SINISTER BA XR6
Blueprint, manual, 4490's, Redback 2.5" dual exhaust, BA Typhoon rims, tint, fog light covers, BF tailights, blue illuminated window switches, Ghia bootlid carpet, lower grille, FPV door spears, steering wheel & interior bits, XR6T + F6 intake, K&N filter, Typhoon spoiler, tuned, sway bars, custom angel eyes & plates..YUM!

If there's one thing guys in Holdens hate more than being beaten by a Ford...
It's being beaten by a girl driving a Ford
Feathers is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 01:22 PM   #7
Perana
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Perana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: South Australia
Posts: 3,173
Default
LOL good one! :

Must remember this for future use :newangel: :P
__________________
'09 SYII TTG | Mystic
'06 BF XR6 | Mercury Silver
Perana is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 01:23 PM   #8
mick.wheelz
Regular Member
 
mick.wheelz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 442
Default
heard it before, and rofl @ casper
__________________
Project 5S-FTE - JDM Vitz
mick.wheelz is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 06:22 PM   #9
FordFan86
meow
 
FordFan86's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Where the Pirates are.
Posts: 2,744
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feathers
I personally would prefer if it was Herrods, that would make me very happy... :
Not very subtle are we? :P
FordFan86 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 06:30 PM   #10
Steffo
LPG > You
 
Steffo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posts: 4,277
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casper
:
I'll second that :
Steffo is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 06:39 PM   #11
AUIII XR8 MAN
DJR TM#54
 
AUIII XR8 MAN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: on my p.c now with internet! ok i'll still use works internet too.
Posts: 2,248
Default
Go one!
__________________
When traveling to V8 Supercar rounds, i book through KYLEE MOLE Travel agents, She Goes, She Goes, She Goes & I just went.
Now Zetec Powered. 1.6lt of madness. But the XR8 still remains
AUIII XR8 MAN is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 06:46 PM   #12
Smoked
Burnin Rubber
 
Smoked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Posts: 1,824
Default
hahahahahaha. Have heard it before, but still cracks me up.
__________________
2001 AUII Forte (LPG)
K&N Air Filter
Tickford Air Intake
***Coming Soon: Clear Side Repeaters***
Quote:
Originally Posted by The-ShowStoPPa
...dont get me wrong this 3.8v6 is pretty special, it does come with the popular shake rattle and roll option and the auto compliments this with the ever popular snap crackle and pop feature
Smoked is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 06:47 PM   #13
DivHunter
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
DivHunter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Patch
Posts: 1,011
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feathers
I personally would prefer if it was Herrods, that would make me very happy... :
*Takes notes*
I'm sure you'll have a list for me shortly :
__________________
Quote:
Speed cameras have changed the things we pay attention to and the things we regard as important. Instead of focusing on the dangers ahead, motorists feel that they have been relieved of responsibility for managing their own driving, and have ceded it instead to the mechanical intervention of the camera and other traffic signals.
DivHunter is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 08:03 PM   #14
Feathers
Lucifer's Angel
 
Feathers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5,282
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by FordFan86
Not very subtle are we? :P
Shush you.
That comment wasn't directed at anyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairmont99
*Takes notes*
I'm sure you'll have a list for me shortly :
Nah, you already know what makes me happy. _2: :
__________________
SINISTER BA XR6
Blueprint, manual, 4490's, Redback 2.5" dual exhaust, BA Typhoon rims, tint, fog light covers, BF tailights, blue illuminated window switches, Ghia bootlid carpet, lower grille, FPV door spears, steering wheel & interior bits, XR6T + F6 intake, K&N filter, Typhoon spoiler, tuned, sway bars, custom angel eyes & plates..YUM!

If there's one thing guys in Holdens hate more than being beaten by a Ford...
It's being beaten by a girl driving a Ford
Last edited by Feathers; 30-01-2005 at 08:06 PM.
Feathers is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 30-01-2005, 08:47 PM   #15
DivHunter
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
DivHunter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Patch
Posts: 1,011
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feathers
Nah, you already know what makes me happy. _2: :
:newangel: indeed :
__________________
Quote:
Speed cameras have changed the things we pay attention to and the things we regard as important. Instead of focusing on the dangers ahead, motorists feel that they have been relieved of responsibility for managing their own driving, and have ceded it instead to the mechanical intervention of the camera and other traffic signals.
DivHunter is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 07:39 AM.

Australian Ford Forums - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Other than what is legally copyrighted by the respective owners, this site is copyright www.fordforums.com.au
Positive SSL