Relationship Breakup Saviour

[InfernoSR]

Originally Posted by XR6_661

go out and shag other women instead of getting hung up on her...Don't waste ya life & time with people who aren't worth it mate.

I've been there way too many times.

Mate... not every guy is like you... not all of us want to simply go out and use others... I've never had a rebound girl... and its been 3 years since my 1 and only g/f... i dont want to go out and use a poor innocent young lady for the sake of it... some of us actually like going out to meet people but not to pickup 1 nighters...

But each to their own... it would just be nice if a nice girl gave a nice guy a chance, and not the smooth talking user...

[FRDGAL]

Originally Posted by BLUEPRINT

Mate... not every guy is like you... not all of us want to simply go out and use others... I've never had a rebound girl... and its been 3 years since my 1 and only g/f... i dont want to go out and use a poor innocent young lady for the sake of it... some of us actually like going out to meet people but not to pickup 1 nighters...

But each to their own... it would just be nice if a nice girl gave a nice guy a chance, and not the smooth talking user...

Well I'll be damned! I've heard stories of men like you but always thought it was a myth :

[Charliewool]

Originally Posted by FRDGAL

Well I'll be damned! I've heard stories of men like you but always thought it was a myth :

FRDGAL you and BLUEPRINT sound like a match made in heaven...go girl :

[XR6_661]

Originally Posted by BLUEPRINT

Mate... not every guy is like you... not all of us want to simply go out and use others... I've never had a rebound girl... and its been 3 years since my 1 and only g/f... i dont want to go out and use a poor innocent young lady for the sake of it... some of us actually like going out to meet people but not to pickup 1 nighters...

But each to their own... it would just be nice if a nice girl gave a nice guy a chance, and not the smooth talking user...

All the girls I've "used" have used me just as much for the same reason. I'm not some sexual predator that lurks the dark corners of bars & clubs in search of an unsuspecting female.
Nothing wrong with one nighters, no strings attached for both parties, if the consent is there and both persons are happy with it, and it's what they want to do, then it's hardly using them. I don't chuck wombats on girls (eats, roots, leaves) If i have a 'one nighter' with a girl, I usually pursue them for a few days/weeks after and see how it all pans out.

[FRDGAL]

Originally Posted by charliewool

FRDGAL you and BLUEPRINT sound like a match made in heaven...go girl :

Nah lol. My demands are too much for some blokes. I mean, we're talkin' threesome's, leather, whips & chains, dungeons, bondage, a bit of swingers action now and then - all the fun stuff. It's alot to ask :

XR6_661 - I agree with what you said. There's nothing wrong with mutual one nighters or casual sex but it was the way you came accross in your other post that made it seem like you had a "use 'em & lose 'em" type view. But your last one I agree with. Life is to be enjoyed. As long as no-one's deliberately being hurt then what's the harm.

[BA_Turbs]

Originally Posted by kyro_02

I think i'll message her tomorrow morning instead of tonight, where... she'll be drunk at at the pub". I'm going to ask her straight out, "will our relationship work" or to that affect. To be honest after waiting 4 hours for her to drive over like she said she would, I finally SMS her and ask her, "are you coming over... cause I gotta go out, soon."

So I patiently wait for a sms reply, instead.. she calls... "I'm sorry I kept you waiting, it took 2 hours for the bank to close my account, then another 2 hours to go to a friends house and get a cheque."

So as I am typing out this reply, she MSG'd me on msn, and it begins!

Anyway, so it starts....

She tell's me how difficult her life is, how her family need her (which I understand in her situation)
That she loved me the first time we met (I felt the same)
It shatters her when she can't come see me (Same)

She knows she is leading me on, I quote: "When I say i'll come and see you, then don't."


So as I type, then backspace, she replies "How come it say's your typing, then it stops??"
I say; "I don't know what to say"

I really don't...

Anyway, So she says "if there's someone else you're interested in, go for it, don't let me hold you back"

I knew exactly where this is going, or did I?

I tell her: "there's no one else except for you, I would never put you in that position because I wouldn't like to be in that position either..."
Then I say: "Unless of course, you have someone else"
She says: "theres no one else"

so anyways, after a 10 minute conversation she says she is crying, and she doesn't feel like she can go to the pub now.... 2 minutes go by.. and she soon types those dreaded words... a family friend of hers has arrived to take her to the pub.



In the end, such is life.... and wherever this relationship goes from now.. guess we'll have to wait and see...

I don't think i'd be this gutted if she atleast sent me an SMS to tell me she can't come past, as she was up this way to go to a friends place, and close her bank account. But I waited some what 4 hours; for her to tell me she wont be here!

Quack!




I don't know how old you are, but this post comes across as if you are 18 and in love with the first girl who's ever shown interest!

Firstly, ditch the texting of relationship issues, it only re-inforces you as being a pansy if you won't confront issues.

Secondly, if she's cooking the ex dinner, and not you, then time to get in first so at least you can try to salvage something before your ego gets walked all over!

To be honest, it sounds like this girl is about 16 years old and filled with how important she is. Move on, and take it from me, a bloke who is in his late 20s, you CAN NOT BEAT women in their 30s. They know what they want, and they know what you want. Go give it a go!

[FRDGAL]

Originally Posted by TadKa

I've tried and given her every chance. She is quite a strong willed business orientated girl, and maybe a little stubborn. She has made up her mind and made it clear she doesn't want to work things out. When I realised where we were heading before we broke up I suggested if there was something wrong we get counselling. I even wasted 50 bucks on flowers (that I ended up throwing into a wall when she dumped me). I honestly haven't done anything wrong. and when we were together we were a very close couple. but I gave her plenty of space and time when she was involved in other things like work or hobbies. The only other person involved is her Business parter who she has been working very closely with over the last month or two. He is married with kids though and I do trust that there is nothing going on. When I think about it they did go to Sydney for a weekend 2 weeks ago and again last thursday (we broke up on friday). They are going to Perth for two weeks next month. It probably sounds bad but I really don't think there is anything going on.

Sorry mate, didn't see that you'd replied to my post. Listen, do what you think is right. If you wanna fight for her and your relationship then do so. But to be honest, from what you've said, in her mind, it was over a long time ago, for her anyway. Fact is that sometimes there's just no pleasing a person, no matter what you do! Doesn't mean give up though. In the end, if it doesn't work and you don't get back together then atleast you know you tried.

But saying that lol (and here comes the confusion all over again) have you thought about why you want her back? Honestly. You're basically saying she didn't appreciate you and you've obviously had some doubts over her & her business partner ... why do you want her back? If you's were to rekindle, you'll always be doubting her which will cause a rift between you's. You'll always be thinking, she doesn't appreciate anything I'm doing for her. So what is it about her? Think hard. You're young. There's plenty of life to live yet. Don't close the door on opportunity just yet

I'm not saying anymore lol. I'm even confusing myself here :

Krissy.

[TadKa]

Well if I think about it, it's probably just fear of being alone and the feelings of somebody not wanting to be with me. I'm not very good with change.

I'm usually the most unemotional guy around.

[FRDGAL]

Originally Posted by TadKa

Well if I think about it, it's probably just fear of being alone and the feelings of somebody not wanting to be with me. I'm not very good with change.

You're no different to almost everyone going through the same thing. The only difference between you and everyone else is pretty much just the decision on what to do, know what I mean.

My friend Carol was a single Mum with 4 kids. After a few disasters, she got Mr.Right, who himself was a single dad with 3 kids. They got married and are the happiest couple I know, even with 7 kids driving them nuts BUT both admit how hard it was getting over their break-ups and thinking "who would ever want me". Look at them now!

I've gone through the same emotions. I left my (first) ex after 14+ years and 2 kids. Next one was 5 years long. I look back now and think, I would never, not for anything in the world, ever date either one of them again lol. We're friends but get back into a relationship, oh hell no lol. We're all the same but it also boils down to how you let it affect you. You wanna be negative and think "who's gonna want me" then you won't attract anything good with that attitude. Give yourself some credit.

[x351]

Well if I think about it, it's probably just fear of being alone and the feelings of somebody not wanting to be with me. I'm not very good with change.

TadKa I know exactly how you feel. Broke up with my ex after 8 years, then hooked up pretty soon afterwards for a bit over a year and now that has just finished (today in fact, and not my doing). I don't like the idea of being alone, which is probably why I leapt into the next one so soon after. Everyone is full of advice, saying how they "wish they were single as there are so many gorgeous available women out there" but then they go straight back to their partners.

A word of advice though, based on my experience, is don't jump so quickly into the next one. I will definitely be taking a bit of time working on my house, my cars, socialising with friends, and getting comfortable in my own skin. That way I will probably be more confident when approaching women, and also would have learnt something from taking time to mourn the loss of the relationship. Believe me, whilst you sound like you were really into this chick, there will definitely be some traits and mannerisms she had that will ring massive alarm bells when you notice them in a potential new partner.

[InfernoSR]

Originally Posted by FRDGAL

Nah lol. My demands are too much for some blokes. I mean, we're talkin' threesome's, leather, whips & chains, dungeons, bondage, a bit of swingers action now and then - all the fun stuff. It's alot to ask :

: Damn... i miss out again... :

[TaNkY fAiRmOnT]

TadKa, its sad to hear bout the situation mate. Hopefully ya have jumped back on the feet once again. Reading this and adapting it to people i know, from what i could see, the want to be with the one girl who changed you as you said she turned you away from gambling, did you mean that you may fear that that bad habbit may come back? cuz it only will if you let it. i have never been in the same sort of situation as quite a few in this thread, but i would be completely devistated if my girlfriend was to decide to dump me out of the blue after 2 years of the relationship we've had so far. Being with the one girl for 7 years is a long time and then when she isnt there anymore, it would feel like a big loss to you for sure but your only young and stil gotta whole lot of life to live and being depressed doesnt help anyone. I do know holding on to the one girl can be tough during breaking up. but as you said, you did nothing wrong. And it is hard to please someone who can not be pleased. Flowers dont always do the trick. neither will a $90 teddy bear with "i love you" written in it. (tried that) ya just get the same ol' treatment... With a lil time and just being yourself, the right girl will come along in no time. Just enjoy the time to have to yourself and dont try to impress. catch up with some old friends n that.
good luck with the future mate! :voldar02:

cheers Josh.

[StAndArdAU]

well, despite this being an old thread, i'll add my 2 cents. My mum and dad split up about 5 years ago. after the initial impact and wallowing around for a few weeks, my old man vowed to change the way he lives. He's been on lots of overseas trips, interstate trips (Indy 300, Northern Territoy, Cape York and more) and spends alot more time just enjoying life in general. he's never looked happier.

Personally, i've been with my GF for 5 years this december, and we are now pregnant with a baby girl. We live in the same house but dont spend much time with each other. Its great, as i can go out as much as i want with my mates and do all the blokey things and she never gets upset (i have not been unfaithful). She's happy doin wat she does, and so am i. But it's always comforting to know there's someone there to snuggle up to at night. To be honest, i dont want our relationship to last forever, i just hope it doesnt break down in a nasty way.

to quote my old man "People are just like the other animals, our purpose is to mate to continue the species, love is just a bi-product."

Hope your loving life now that you've been single for a month! Status update?!?!

[gtfpv]

Originally Posted by TadKa

No one wants to hear my sob story but my girl of 7 years broke up with me on Friday. No proper reason hardly any warning. I'm absolutely shattered. The thing that has saved me the most from going completely off the ropes is being able to hop into a semi decent car I enjoy and just fanging around all weekend. Even just sitting in the car is comforting. At least if I look after her she won't just turn around and wreck me like a woman. I'm not pretending I have a fantastic car but to me its a nice place to be. Anyone else found solace in their beast at a time of need?

(Mods feel free to delete thread if its not to standard, its just the more I talk about it the more its sinks in)

sorry to hear mate .

[TadKa]

Yeah guys. going great. Going out with mates a lot and I've hit it off with and old flame from college. Just having some fun. She has just come out of a relationship as well so we are just taking it easy. It's been a month now and I'm still so confused about why it happened but better I find out now than do what I was planning to do and propose some time in the next year. I'm still lying in bed at night thinking about her though. Time (and the cute new girl) will heal things.

[DJM83]

Good to see your on the right track mate and everything 'seems' to be working out.

[Rodp]

Originally Posted by TadKa

Yeah guys. going great. Going out with mates a lot and I've hit it off with and old flame from college. Just having some fun. She has just come out of a relationship as well so we are just taking it easy. It's been a month now and I'm still so confused about why it happened but better I find out now than do what I was planning to do and propose some time in the next year. I'm still lying in bed at night thinking about her though. Time (and the cute new girl) will heal things.

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone.. I guess that saying was coined for women though.

Don't count on the new girl healing anything though. Have fun, but when you're with one and pining for another it'll never work. Took me 5 years to work that one out.

[InfernoSR]

God... thats quick mate... best of luck to you...

[TOASTED]

Originally Posted by kyro_02

i've just got myself into a relationship, but after 2 weeks i'm starting to feel i'm losing interest in her...

some things i get annoyed about:
wont see her for 2 days, then see her for an hour, then not for another 2 days.. she doesn't work, and gets free fuel.. and lives 20 mins away, so i don't understand.

has time for everyone else, except for me, like she has time to go visit her X boyfriend, take her other mates out, offer her X boyfriend over for dinner, but not me? lol (well, atleast she told me about it! like siiigh)

also shes going out with all her mates tonight, but wait, she never asked me if i'd like to come!

i don't care anymore really, its doing my head in thinking about it

i HATE these sorts of women!!!!! wat would happen if you told ur missus that the ex is coming over for dinner??!??!!! 100% of women would spit it! understandably! i swear sometimes they dont think about things ay

[azaxr8]

chics chics chis. there nothing but a lifesupport of p****. When im feeling upset about something i always get in my car and go cruising with my stereo cranking. But i don't get involved with relationships the wonders of working away and being so young is good 1 week off every 2 weeks and just ya brains out and then don't have to talk to them for 2 weeks ahh.

[T3ts50]

Wow this is amazaing. Ive been going through the same thing. Me and my missus of 9 nine years just split up a couple of months ago. I cant offer any advice on how to get over this, as Im feeling like crap most of the time, you just gotta hang in there. The only time I feel good about myself is when Im with my mates which I spend most weekends with. Its funny though, these guys I rarely ever got to go out with, I seem them now more than ever.

One benefit though is that you got your freedom to do what you want, and you finally see who your real friends are.

Can I ask though, are you still friends with your ex?

[TOASTED]

Originally Posted by ozmale42

Mate I'd give that one the big miss too....

a good way to get rid of her is put a reeally poor effort into bedroom exercise. one night get yourself all ready to go and almost there then jump on her give her like 25 secs of pleasure then jump off and be like geez that was good.

[Bad Bird]

Mentioning the very first post in this thread about using your car to make yourself feel better...

It sucks when even the car lets you down and needs thousands to get running again.

Cars and women, eh? (or cars and men if you are female/that way inclined)

[InfernoSR]

Originally Posted by Bad Bird

It sucks when even the car lets you down and needs thousands to get running again.

I understand that one all to well... :

[steamin63]

Originally Posted by craigosmoddedEF

a good way to get rid of her is put a reeally poor effort into bedroom exercise. one night get yourself all ready to go and almost there then jump on her give her like 25 secs of pleasure then jump off and be like geez that was good.

"25 SECONDS". i hope that includes foreplay.