Thurs funny

[Charliewool]

A New Zealand ventriloquist, visiting Australia, walks into a small
town and sees a local sitting on his porch, patting his dog. He figures
he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Aussie "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Aussie: (look of extreme shock.)
Ventriloquist: "Is this Aussie your owner?" (pointing at the Aussie.)
Dog: "Yep."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good - he walks me twice a day and feeds me great tucker
Aussie: (look of utter disbelief.)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Aussie: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either .. I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Aussie: (absolutely dumbfounded.)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Aussie.)
Horse: "Yep."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes me
down often and keeps me in a barn to protect me from the elements."
Aussie: (total look of amazement.)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Aussie: "Now hold on,That sheep's a ing liar!!!"

[Laminge]

Damm Mate

and here I was looking for another busted down fence with a Photoshoped Picture of Murphy in a Holden

[bindi]

Hahahahahahahaha :evil_laug

[Mike Gayner]

That's pretty good :

[LTDHO]

Ummm, isn't is supposed to be Aussie Ventriloquist??

It would make more sence!! :s

There was a young man who was so well-endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three doctors and one nurse were in the operating room to remedy the situation.
The first doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the end." They discussed it and decided that would affect his sensitivity.

The second doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk out of the middle of it." They discussed it and decided it would change the texture and feel of it.

The third doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the base of it." They discussed it and said that would give him erection problems.

The doctors looked at the nurse who had tears running down her cheeks.

The nurse cried, "Can't we just make his legs longer?"

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this... When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?

A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed.
"Tommy," she said, "I'm not eating any more chicken sandwiches."

"Why?" he asked.

"'Cause I'm starting to grow feathers down here," she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy.

"I don't believe you," he said. "You'll have to show me."

Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place.

"You're right," he said. "I've been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I'm getting feathers too."

"Well, I'd better have a look," she said.

After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, "Oh, I think it's too late for you. You've got the neck and giblets too."

[12]

I got it on email this morning and it was an Aussie Ventriloquist visiting Greg Murphys' Farm. :

A Aussie Ventriloquist, visiting New Zealand, walks into a small town farm and sees Greg Murphy sitting on his porch, patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Murphy: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old buddy?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Murphy: (look of extreme shock.)
Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" (pointing at Greg Murphy).
Dog: "Yep."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good - he walks me twice a day and feeds me great tucker."
Murphy: (look of utter disbelief.)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Murphy: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either .. I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Murphy: (absolutely dumbfounded.)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Murphy.)
Horse: "Yep."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes me down often and keeps me in a barn to protect me from the elements."
Murphy: (total look of amazement.)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Murphy: "Now hold on a minute!, That sheep is a fukcing liar!!!"

Originally Posted by 012

I got it on email this morning and it was an Aussie Ventriloquist visiting Greg Murphys' Farm. :

A Aussie Ventriloquist, visiting New Zealand, walks into a small town farm and sees Greg Murphy sitting on his porch, patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Murphy: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old buddy?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Murphy: (look of extreme shock.)
Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" (pointing at Greg Murphy).
Dog: "Yep."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good - he walks me twice a day and feeds me great tucker."
Murphy: (look of utter disbelief.)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Murphy: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either .. I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Murphy: (absolutely dumbfounded.)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at Murphy.)
Horse: "Yep."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regular, brushes me down often and keeps me in a barn to protect me from the elements."
Murphy: (total look of amazement.)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Murphy: "Now hold on a minute!, That sheep is a fukcing liar!!!"

Better, much better