Moments that make you take a step back - Page 3

Fireblade · 19-05-2011, 06:12 PM

I guess it goes to show most of us have our own ****/problems, but it is how we come out at the other end that is the key IMO, sometimes it just makes you a better person.

84xespac · 19-05-2011, 06:53 PM

Geez fellas, lots of full on things affecting so many of us in so many ways. This what I love about the great community we have around here and the reason I keep coming on aff. It is a brotherhood of it's own really. Thanks to all of those who have shared their stories in this thread as it has been truely great to read, makes the feelings that ya have seem so normal and just goes to show that even as men "who shouldn't cry" we all have times in our lives when well life can get the better of us.

JC · 19-05-2011, 08:10 PM

^^^ Previous 2 posts right on the money!

**SSD-85** · 19-05-2011, 09:43 PM

My finacee's younger brother passing a month ago today. This has really tore me a new one. I dont think I can look at life the same way again.

dave351cid · 19-05-2011, 11:36 PM

i can remember one day long long ago when i was a kid (maybe about 10 or 12 years old) i was in the old truck with Dad on our way home from town, just sitting back thinking as we travelled. it must have been school holidays because i did correspondence school at home on the property and didn`t get to go to town much.
anyway i was thinking about how we had been to several businesses that day and seen random people in the street and how everyone seemed so happy to see Dad and seemed to go out of their way to give him that little bit extra service, no need to pay for anything now we will just put it on the tab til the end of the month. if it was for Dad , they would do anything to help.
Dad was not any one famous, rich or powerful.
just a honest bushy that was always ready to help anyone that needed it, trying to scrape a living out of cutting timber and mechanicing to feed his familly.

that was when i first really realised what RESPECT is and how its something you earn, its not something that can be bought, demanded or gifted to you.

it was also the time that i decided i wanted some of that respect and that i would need to earn it for myself.
that moment probably set the path for the way i have lived my life so far. had to slap myself a couple of times to keep on track, but in general i think i`m doing ok.

it was like some kind of a light globe moment that i have never forgoten, and until now i dont think i have ever told anyone about. i do wish i had told Dad about it before we lost him though.

.

tankclare · 20-05-2011, 12:29 AM

A lot of touching stories on here. The AFF family is a strong unit thats for sure.

I have had a few moments that make you step back but there are really 2 major ones.
1. In 1997 when I was 6 my older sister Shandy was killed in a freak show ride accident at the Rylstone show. She was only 11 years old. I can still remember the day as if it was yesterday. It was a major shock to the family and community. I can still see her screaming and wanting to go home before coughing up blood before we were rushed out of the room. It taught me two things and that is that life is short and anything can happen and the other is that some people really are the scum of the earth with no respect. In that I mean to owner of the ride and also the media who were sometimes very disrespectful. From that day on I never go on any show rides besides the dodgem cars. I get all paranoid and stare at every little nut and bolt of the ride.

2. In 2000 my dad passed away 12 days before my 10th birthday. The second big blow to our family. For years dad had suffered from kidney disease (in the family) and was on kidney dialysis. Seeing dad sick and stuck to a dialysis machine every 3 days for 4 hours was hard but he done everything he could for us and the community and was a well respected man. I remember coming inside from out the backyard to find dad being seen to by ambulance officers in the lounge room. He had a brain tumor caused by blood pressure problems from the dialysis that busted and sent him into a coma. That night we got a call to choose to turn of his life support as he was too far gone. I can still remember clear as day visiting him in hospital in Sydney. All of his best mates were there and some family. I held his hand and broke down in tears. Dad lasted over a week off life support and passed away on the 4th of october, his and mums anniversary. He was and will always be my hero. A man no matter how sick always had time for his family and would do anything for anyone.

So these days I live life to its fullest because I know that anyday my time could be up. Every now and then people tell me my dad would be proud and thats a feeling nothing can top.

93EB_SXR6 · 20-05-2011, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tankclare

A lot of touching stories on here. The AFF family is a strong unit thats for sure.

I have had a few moments that make you step back but there are really 2 major ones.
1. In 1997 when I was 6 my older sister Shandy was killed in a freak show ride accident at the Rylstone show. She was only 11 years old. I can still remember the day as if it was yesterday. It was a major shock to the family and community. I can still see her screaming and wanting to go home before coughing up blood before we were rushed out of the room. It taught me two things and that is that life is short and anything can happen and the other is that some people really are the scum of the earth with no respect. In that I mean to owner of the ride and also the media who were sometimes very disrespectful. From that day on I never go on any show rides besides the dodgem cars. I get all paranoid and stare at every little nut and bolt of the ride.

2. In 2000 my dad passed away 12 days before my 10th birthday. The second big blow to our family. For years dad had suffered from kidney disease (in the family) and was on kidney dialysis. Seeing dad sick and stuck to a dialysis machine every 3 days for 4 hours was hard but he done everything he could for us and the community and was a well respected man. I remember coming inside from out the backyard to find dad being seen to by ambulance officers in the lounge room. He had a brain tumor caused by blood pressure problems from the dialysis that busted and sent him into a coma. That night we got a call to choose to turn of his life support as he was too far gone. I can still remember clear as day visiting him in hospital in Sydney. All of his best mates were there and some family. I held his hand and broke down in tears. Dad lasted over a week off life support and passed away on the 4th of october, his and mums anniversary. He was and will always be my hero. A man no matter how sick always had time for his family and would do anything for anyone.

So these days I live life to its fullest because I know that anyday my time could be up. Every now and then people tell me my dad would be proud and thats a feeling nothing can top.

Got a lump in my throat reading those stories mate.
Honestly, I am as sorry as possible for your losses.

tankclare · 20-05-2011, 12:56 AM

Thanks mate :-) it's our experiences that makes us stronger. I rarely talk about them bad times as I always tear up which sucks. The AFF is a good place to get it off your chest sometimes.

93EB_SXR6 · 20-05-2011, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tankclare

Thanks mate :-) it's our experiences that makes us stronger. I rarely talk about them bad times as I always tear up which sucks. The AFF is a good place to get it off your chest sometimes.

Yeah, I can rarely tell people about my experiences but I've gone and blurted them out on here (earlier in the thread).
My strongest morals come from the most painful times I've ever experienced.

It has definitely taught me not to get stressed over little/unimportant crap... who cares if something goes wrong with a bloody car or your t.v. stops working?

Fireblade · 20-05-2011, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tankclare

Thanks mate :-) it's our experiences that makes us stronger. I rarely talk about them bad times as I always tear up which sucks. The AFF is a good place to get it off your chest sometimes.

Join the club champ, I too am deeply sorry for your losses.

Thornie · 20-05-2011, 01:53 AM

Some very touching stories here, i have shared my own a few times before about my daughter and her leukaemia story, next friday and we should have been celebrating her 3rd birthday, the biggest thing that got me out of the 5 months of hell on earth for my wife and i was deciding whether to allow the neurosurgeon to place a shunt in her head to relieve swelling and give her anywhere up to 6 months more of suffering or let her go. At the time we were also going through real finantial hardship made me really think wtf is going on why is everything going wrong, lifes not ment to go this way.

On a brighter note today i have an old friend from school i havn't seen her since school but we keep contact through facebook she's a single mum and i beleive a true battler doesn't have much family she can get help from, though all the trouble I've had in my life over the past few years i can still see the struggles other go through and this week she made comment about wondering how she was going to put food on the table for the kids. This made me think back to all the help people gave us when my daughter was sick. So I called her up for bank details and gave her enough money for 2 weeks worth of grocerys and I can tell you, helping a friend in need like that is one of the best feelings you can have.

landau460 · 20-05-2011, 06:08 AM

I am sorry for all your losses i have losses similar to some here and also shed a tear on reflection but i did get a reminder about the more important things in life which dont include the tv, not seeing friends and family for long periods at a time. And the good old statement 'we work to live not live to work' which i think i need to push my wife to live by that line, she busts her **** to much.
It also brought to my attention that alot of these faceless names i see around the forum are real people(not just text), decent people and ones i am glad to associate with.

Mickxr8 · 20-05-2011, 08:08 AM

Holding my girlfriends hand while`st she miscarried our unborn.
Thats the lowest i`ve been.

**Mechan1k** · 20-05-2011, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mickxr8

Holding my girlfriends hand while`st she miscarried our unborn.
Thats the lowest i`ve been.

Yeah ... that would suck ... have never experienced that ... and really wouldn't want to.

b2tf · 20-05-2011, 08:15 AM

It sucks but always keep your chin up and stay positive. I've been able to sort things out with my partner and I honestly believe we will come out of all of this stronger and better off for it.

Sometimes the things that drain you the most also teach you the most.

84xespac · 20-05-2011, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mickxr8

Holding my girlfriends hand while`st she miscarried our unborn.
Thats the lowest i`ve been.

I have sadly felt that pain with my wife. Truely gut wrenching not just the situation as it is happening but the weeks after as you see how empty inside you partner becomes.

Sam_Boss260 · 20-05-2011, 09:18 AM

This thread is the first thing I am reading of a morning. Truely inspirational and heartfelt stories that I can honestly say have touched me and brings a lump in my throat with every post. This may sound "wishey-washy", but I feel honoured to read all of your stories.

Now I'm not a religious man, however I do believe that the big man only gives us what we can handle and what he knows will test our character.

We were pregnant with our second child, which was a bit of an unplanned pregnancy. It was like the 20 week scan I think, and we went to the same obstitrician (spelling??) that we went to for our first child, so there was a bit of a rapport going and small talk. Then whilst my wife was on the table and the doctor was doing the ultra sound, she stopped talking. I will never forget her next words ... "I need you both to listen very carefully to what I am about to say" she said. We just froze. Ended up that we had twins, but there was only one heartbeat, and the size of the other feteus was too small to survive.

It was like a excitement and horror in one emotion. Excited that we had twins, but sad that one had died. But excited that one was still strong enough to make it. When the baby was born eventually, and we found out it was another girl (yep 2 girls now) my wife asked to see the second feteus that she had passed. We could sort of see it, and yet in that moment of excitement, there was a small tear of sadness.

And now, this second child is a little sh** of a kid. Smart, with attittude and hard work, if you know what I mean !! So the big man knew that we could only handle two kids that were 19 months apart, and not three....

sgt_doofey · 20-05-2011, 10:08 AM

The moment of my life that made me stop and think was watching my Dad take his last breath and watching his body shut down after fighting liver cancer for 10 months. Not a day goes by without me thinking about him and how good a person he was to me, my brothers and Mum.

The other time, just a year before my Dad died, was saying goodbye to my cousin in the Royal Adelaide Hospital. He'd had an accident whist cycling and died of head injuries sustained when he hit the ground - even wearing a helmet didn't save him. When my Uncle showed me his bike later on, it's amazing that there wasn't a single scratch on it. The only problem was where the tyre had popped off of the front rim - all up, about 1cm long. That happened and it hit the brakes and flipped him over the handle bars.

SEZ213 · 20-05-2011, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mickxr8

Holding my girlfriends hand while`st she miscarried our unborn.
Thats the lowest i`ve been.

As some of the guys have said, the effects of it can carry on for weeks (or years), particularly if you don't talk to someone about it. Some women have the belief that it's all their fault, and don't quite understand that sometimes **** just happens, no matter how much people tell them that they weren't responsible. It's not a pretty place to be, and I hope your girlfriend is getting help if she needs it. Women are strong, but we're not always that strong.