Virgin Blue... a short rant...

Neeek · 13-01-2006, 03:30 PM

Due to my job, I have to indulge in some interstate travel. Typically, this means either an 80 minute hop to Sydney or a more laborious 2 and a half hour flight to Melbourne. Working in the industry I do, the preferred option when it comes to booking flights is to get the cheapest available, a concept I have no issue with. Invariably, this means that I travel with Virgin Blue, the subject of today’s rant.

I’m no stranger to flying. Holidays from the UK took me as far afield as the US, South America, and many parts of Europe. I’ve racked up some serious hours sitting in airplane seats over the course of my life, and I have never really complained. The budget airlines in the UK were what you’d expect for a service so cheap (such as flights that cost ten quid each way) – you’re on a bus with wings. No seating allocation, no pretty air hostesses, but fortunately no livestock either.

Now, Virgin Blue and Qantas are the 2 main carriers in this country. Provided you book more than a week in advance, the price difference is usually minimal. However, the experience is very different. There’s plenty to like about the service. I for one am glad that they’ve finally got around to sorting out a frequent flyer programme. I also like the web-check in facility, or even the quick check-in facility at the airport. It’s good.

But what I hate about Virgin Blue is the “we’re all on crack” happiness that meanders throughout the cabin on every flight. I can’t stand it any longer, and I think next time I’m going to take one of the deliriously happy cabin crew by the throat and hold my rolled-up copy of Voyeur up to them and threaten to bash them repeatedly with it unless they calm the hell down.

There are not there to make my flight as fun as possible. I want to get to Sydney, or Brisbane, or Melbourne or wherever. I’m usually tired because it’s either very early in the morning or late in the afternoon – I am not at my best at either of these times. I don’t want to have to listen to their cheery voices cracking jokes about the weather, the length of the flight, or indeed the time.

And I certainly don’t want to be asked in that same loud and cheery voice whether I would like to order anything from the “A La Carte” (yes yes, very clever) menu when I very clearly have my eyes closed, head back and am snoozing. This irks me the most – what do I have to? Hang a DO NOT DISTURB sign from my nose? Don’t wake me up, don’t say anything and of course I don’t want anything from your bloody menu otherwise I would be sitting up in my seat, tray table down, wallet in hand, grinning inanely at you in the same way you are grinning at me. Oh what a lovely flight this is! Please, can we do it again?!? Could you tell me how you manage to apply your make-up with a shovel and not have it slip off your face?!?

I flew on Qantas the other week, to Melbourne and back. I checked in with about the same sort of ease I experience at Virgin Blue. Chose my own seat, said good morning – the usual. And on the flight to Melbourne it was late afternoon so I took the chance to sample some food. Yes, food – free. Nothing to pay over and above my fare. After eating the food, I noted that there was more legroom in the seat, which when you’re 6 foot 4 is always a welcome treat. And on the way back, I put down my book after take-off and shut my eyes. It was another early evening flight, and how many times was I awoken to be offered food or drink? Not once. Not even twice. In fact, I was left undisturbed and snoozed soundly all the way home.

That’s how air travel should be. The cabin crew should look after you, not annoy you, and most definitely stop popping ecstasy pills. The food should be mediocre at best, but free. Jokes about crashing/taking off/landing/people’s birthdays should not be shouted out over the PA.

If I wanted interstate air travel to be exciting, I’d rather take one of Branson’s hot air balloons, rather than one of his red and blue 737s. Especially if they play Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway while taxing. Again.

KEV EB XR8 · 13-01-2006, 03:39 PM

You can buy pills for "PMT" you know.

Clager_250_XF · 13-01-2006, 03:40 PM

HA HA HA HA HA HA I love it! its so tru but! So vergin blue rip out jokes about crashing HA HA WTF

13-01-2006, 03:40 PM

Here here mate, The last thing I want at 10:30pm coming home from a work trip after waking 4am that morning to catch the plane there, is to be asked to clench your own butt several times, in the interests of reducing the risk of DVT. If it was being asked for me to squeeze their ИИИИ tho it would be a different story :P

Whats the new Lynxjet all about?

Mack 6 · 13-01-2006, 03:43 PM

I flew to Hobart with virgin last year and it was terrible. The start of a long weekend of fun and frivolity. I was cramped(at 6'2") and bored. No food offered, but when I did order a round (3) or bundy cans, it was 20 odd bucks (I remember cos I had to get more schrapnel out)
Coming back I did byrnie the adelaide via melb with QANTAS. Great. On the first hop in a little dash-8, The hostess let me move to stretch out (she was pretty), then after she had handed out food and a drink of red or white wine to everyone, I got her chatting and she gave the remaining 2 half bottles to me and my mates gf to have.
Second hop was better, with another meal on offer and unlimited beer and wine (had to pay for rum).
Go the aussie carrier if you can.

Neeek · 13-01-2006, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clager_250_XF

HA HA HA HA HA HA I love it! its so tru but! So vergin blue rip out jokes about crashing HA HA WTF

Did you type that from a mobile 'phone? Jesus, learn to type! Another pet hate of mine, that...

GreenMachine · 13-01-2006, 03:48 PM

I flew Virgin down to Melbourne a few months ago... Was a morning flight and they brought me all the Toohey's New I asked for... No complaints!

Simmo · 13-01-2006, 03:51 PM

yeh i have to fly virgin for work and its pretty horrible. cattle class on qantas has more room than the second row on a virgin flight. i get more annoyed at the type of passenger on virgin. i seem to see families on qantas all the time but all my virgin flights have been packed with suited up business ****ers talking utter garbage to their fellow suited workmate. i mean there was a woman behind me yapping on about people driving slowly on the great ocean rd when her alfa 156 could get past them quicker. also try being on the same drugs the cabin crew are, it eases the burn.

gtfpv · 13-01-2006, 04:04 PM

i suppose you could always stare at the hostesses with all that makeup on imagine whats underneath those tight skirts . or you could have a hairy moustache who gives you a nasty look cause you want a drink. mmmmmmm oh and with the clamping but cheeks together . do they show you how its done???

MYVYSS · 13-01-2006, 04:29 PM

JetStar...A1 flying with them again tomorrow...they are cool....

jmc-007 · 13-01-2006, 04:34 PM

seriously though fly with someone else if you dont like it.

I would much rather fly with virgin blue for the fact you have a seat alotment. unlike jetstar.

fly with qantas if you dont want happy staff. or charter your own plane.

take a chill pill

TS50 · 13-01-2006, 04:36 PM

Boy oh Boy, do you people complain
Virgin kills Jetstar
Living where I do, I have the option of 1 Qantas flight a day (6.30am, returns at 8.15pm) this flight min is $150, more often closer to $300 one way, for the 45 min flight to melbourne, then there is Jetsar and Virgin, both start from $39 up to a normal price of around $69
Now if you havent flown Jetstar, never complain about leg room on a Virgin flight. On Jetstar you always look for the Emergency row, at least you can actually sit with your feet out. Also on a Virgin flight you get a seat allocated to you, Jetstar, lets fight for a seat, if plane is fullish, and you are traveling with otheres (ie friends or family) good chance you will be seperated.
When you live in Tasmania, there are no other real options to travel, but fly, at least you mainlanders can drive, take the bus, take the train.

Casper · 13-01-2006, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neeek

Due to my job, I have to indulge in some interstate travel. Typically, this means either an 80 minute hop to Sydney or a more laborious 2 and a half hour flight to Melbourne. Working in the industry I do, the preferred option when it comes to booking flights is to get the cheapest available, a concept I have no issue with. Invariably, this means that I travel with Virgin Blue, the subject of today’s rant.

I’m no stranger to flying. Holidays from the UK took me as far afield as the US, South America, and many parts of Europe. I’ve racked up some serious hours sitting in airplane seats over the course of my life, and I have never really complained. The budget airlines in the UK were what you’d expect for a service so cheap (such as flights that cost ten quid each way) – you’re on a bus with wings. No seating allocation, no pretty air hostesses, but fortunately no livestock either.

Now, Virgin Blue and Qantas are the 2 main carriers in this country. Provided you book more than a week in advance, the price difference is usually minimal. However, the experience is very different. There’s plenty to like about the service. I for one am glad that they’ve finally got around to sorting out a frequent flyer programme. I also like the web-check in facility, or even the quick check-in facility at the airport. It’s good.

But what I hate about Virgin Blue is the “we’re all on crack” happiness that meanders throughout the cabin on every flight. I can’t stand it any longer, and I think next time I’m going to take one of the deliriously happy cabin crew by the throat and hold my rolled-up copy of Voyeur up to them and threaten to bash them repeatedly with it unless they calm the hell down.

There are not there to make my flight as fun as possible. I want to get to Sydney, or Brisbane, or Melbourne or wherever. I’m usually tired because it’s either very early in the morning or late in the afternoon – I am not at my best at either of these times. I don’t want to have to listen to their cheery voices cracking jokes about the weather, the length of the flight, or indeed the time.

And I certainly don’t want to be asked in that same loud and cheery voice whether I would like to order anything from the “A La Carte” (yes yes, very clever) menu when I very clearly have my eyes closed, head back and am snoozing. This irks me the most – what do I have to? Hang a DO NOT DISTURB sign from my nose? Don’t wake me up, don’t say anything and of course I don’t want anything from your bloody menu otherwise I would be sitting up in my seat, tray table down, wallet in hand, grinning inanely at you in the same way you are grinning at me. Oh what a lovely flight this is! Please, can we do it again?!? Could you tell me how you manage to apply your make-up with a shovel and not have it slip off your face?!?

I flew on Qantas the other week, to Melbourne and back. I checked in with about the same sort of ease I experience at Virgin Blue. Chose my own seat, said good morning – the usual. And on the flight to Melbourne it was late afternoon so I took the chance to sample some food. Yes, food – free. Nothing to pay over and above my fare. After eating the food, I noted that there was more legroom in the seat, which when you’re 6 foot 4 is always a welcome treat. And on the way back, I put down my book after take-off and shut my eyes. It was another early evening flight, and how many times was I awoken to be offered food or drink? Not once. Not even twice. In fact, I was left undisturbed and snoozed soundly all the way home.

That’s how air travel should be. The cabin crew should look after you, not annoy you, and most definitely stop popping ecstasy pills. The food should be mediocre at best, but free. Jokes about crashing/taking off/landing/people’s birthdays should not be shouted out over the PA.

If I wanted interstate air travel to be exciting, I’d rather take one of Branson’s hot air balloons, rather than one of his red and blue 737s. Especially if they play Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway while taxing. Again.

As a veteran of approx 40-50 flights a year for the last 10 years... I bow and applaud you at what is the best and most accruat account of Virgin Blue I have ever heard. I hate them, dispise them, will never willingly fly them again.

I am fortunate though, due to the high travel load our team at work have all been given "Qantas Preferred" status. That just means we pretty much always fly Qantas now (and get to get in as many free drinks as we can swallow in the Qantas Club before each flight). I now look away when passing the Virgin terminal.. horrible, horrible stuff.

Oh, and you forgot to mention the "Blue Room". $5 to enter and then double price for everything you want in the, overcrowed to the max (if they even let you in) and generally CRAP!

**Charliewool** · 13-01-2006, 04:36 PM

I fly probably 50-60 times a year (mostly domestic) and Virgin beats Jetstar hands down!
The boarding process on Jetstar is pathetic! How hard is it to print a damn seat allocation number on your boarding pass, instead of creating an almighty stampede?
As for Virgin's bright cheery attitude... Isn't that preferable to the scowls from Jetstar staff?
I once witnessed a lady with 2 young children at Ballina airport who had arrived TWO minutes into Jetstar's 1/2 hr check-in cutoff.. And was refused a boarding pass! The plane she was supposed to board (coming from Sydney) hadn't even arrived.. Yet they maintained they were going by the book! She said, "ok when's the next flight".. their reply.. Tomorrow!! She ended up in tears... "where are I supposed to stay the night".. "Your problem lady". It was bloody disgusting! AND I reckon the clock they were going by was 5 mins out anyhow!

Casper · 13-01-2006, 04:40 PM

I wouldnt fly jetstar in a blind fit... work refuses to even consider them.

GlennBA · 13-01-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neeek

Did you type that from a mobile 'phone? Jesus, learn to type! Another pet hate of mine, that...

o rly?

:

Quadcams · 13-01-2006, 04:42 PM

Mate I would rather put up with the happy faces than wait up to 6hrs for a flight 1hr not once many times and morbid faces on the hostess like Jetstar!
Maybe you need a private jet that might make you happy, rember you did say your not good when tired maybe thats realy the problem.

GreenMachine · 13-01-2006, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sadie

o rly?

Back in your box, Sadie... Next time we want your opinion, we'll tell you it...

Shouldn't you be cleaning something? :P

Quadcams · 13-01-2006, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Casper

I wouldnt fly jetstar in a blind fit... work refuses to even consider them.

I rest my case!

Envious · 13-01-2006, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neeek

Due to my job, I have to indulge in some interstate travel. Typically, this means either an 80 minute hop to Sydney or a more laborious 2 and a half hour flight to Melbourne. Working in the industry I do, the preferred option when it comes to booking flights is to get the cheapest available, a concept I have no issue with. Invariably, this means that I travel with Virgin Blue, the subject of today’s rant.

I’m no stranger to flying. Holidays from the UK took me as far afield as the US, South America, and many parts of Europe. I’ve racked up some serious hours sitting in airplane seats over the course of my life, and I have never really complained. The budget airlines in the UK were what you’d expect for a service so cheap (such as flights that cost ten quid each way) – you’re on a bus with wings. No seating allocation, no pretty air hostesses, but fortunately no livestock either.

Now, Virgin Blue and Qantas are the 2 main carriers in this country. Provided you book more than a week in advance, the price difference is usually minimal. However, the experience is very different. There’s plenty to like about the service. I for one am glad that they’ve finally got around to sorting out a frequent flyer programme. I also like the web-check in facility, or even the quick check-in facility at the airport. It’s good.

But what I hate about Virgin Blue is the “we’re all on crack” happiness that meanders throughout the cabin on every flight. I can’t stand it any longer, and I think next time I’m going to take one of the deliriously happy cabin crew by the throat and hold my rolled-up copy of Voyeur up to them and threaten to bash them repeatedly with it unless they calm the hell down.

There are not there to make my flight as fun as possible. I want to get to Sydney, or Brisbane, or Melbourne or wherever. I’m usually tired because it’s either very early in the morning or late in the afternoon – I am not at my best at either of these times. I don’t want to have to listen to their cheery voices cracking jokes about the weather, the length of the flight, or indeed the time.

And I certainly don’t want to be asked in that same loud and cheery voice whether I would like to order anything from the “A La Carte” (yes yes, very clever) menu when I very clearly have my eyes closed, head back and am snoozing. This irks me the most – what do I have to? Hang a DO NOT DISTURB sign from my nose? Don’t wake me up, don’t say anything and of course I don’t want anything from your bloody menu otherwise I would be sitting up in my seat, tray table down, wallet in hand, grinning inanely at you in the same way you are grinning at me. Oh what a lovely flight this is! Please, can we do it again?!? Could you tell me how you manage to apply your make-up with a shovel and not have it slip off your face?!?

I flew on Qantas the other week, to Melbourne and back. I checked in with about the same sort of ease I experience at Virgin Blue. Chose my own seat, said good morning – the usual. And on the flight to Melbourne it was late afternoon so I took the chance to sample some food. Yes, food – free. Nothing to pay over and above my fare. After eating the food, I noted that there was more legroom in the seat, which when you’re 6 foot 4 is always a welcome treat. And on the way back, I put down my book after take-off and shut my eyes. It was another early evening flight, and how many times was I awoken to be offered food or drink? Not once. Not even twice. In fact, I was left undisturbed and snoozed soundly all the way home.

That’s how air travel should be. The cabin crew should look after you, not annoy you, and most definitely stop popping ecstasy pills. The food should be mediocre at best, but free. Jokes about crashing/taking off/landing/people’s birthdays should not be shouted out over the PA.

If I wanted interstate air travel to be exciting, I’d rather take one of Branson’s hot air balloons, rather than one of his red and blue 737s. Especially if they play Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway while taxing. Again.

Well, Virgin Blue and Jetstar are BUDGET airlines. This is wholy and soley the reason they have jack shoit leg room and you have to pay for food, on most occasions you will still be saving money even if you do buy something on the flight. The happiness displayed by the crew is something they have belted into them throughout training, its called customer service i believe....

If you are worried about leg room, then request an emergency seat, unless of course you dont want your sleep to be disturbed while all these screaming people 'on pills' are trying to escape the burning wreckage...rant over... :nutsycuck :P

Quadcams · 13-01-2006, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Envious

Well, Virgin Blue and Jetstar are BUDGET airlines. This is wholy and soley the reason they have jack shoit leg room and you have to pay for food, on most occasions you will still be saving money even if you do buy something on the flight. The happiness displayed by the crew is something they have belted into them throughout training, its called customer service i believe....

If you are worried about leg room, then request an emergency seat, unless of course you dont want your sleep to be disturbed while all these screaming people 'on pills' are trying to escape the burning wreckage...rant over...

Cheers dude you crackin me up!

Casper · 13-01-2006, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Envious

If you are worried about leg room, then request an emergency seat,

Ahh, but thats the fun part. Get their early and get an emergency exit seat. Wait till about 10 minutes before boarding only to get called up to the counter and find out "someone" has paid and extra $30 to "take" your seat and you get bumped to row 23, centre seat cause theres nothing else left.
Dont think it happens? I have had a number of stand up "discussions" with Virgin over this practice.

TS50 · 13-01-2006, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Casper

I wouldnt fly jetstar in a blind fit... work refuses to even consider them.

Easy for you to say
Live down here, sometimes Jetstar is the only choice you have to leave the island

flappist · 13-01-2006, 04:56 PM

I have the same view of "Deathstar" and "Green Can Dreaming". I will NOT fly on either. I have actually refused contracts because they sepecified either. This is now a pain in the bum as all the direct services from here (Hervey Bay) are on the aforementioned avaition black comedies.

When I travel (and I do a fair bit) I drive to Brisvegas and hop in the big tin bird with the white rat on the tail. Ok, sometimes the hostitutes, I mean cabin crew, can be a bit ordinary but the tech crew are top notch and the maintenance is actually done.

Except when I am is strange places e.g. USA (scary), HK (scarier), China (aaaaggghhhhh!) I have two travel axioms.

1) If it doesn't have a big whit rat on it I will wait until later...
2) If it is not Boeing I am not going...

TS50 · 13-01-2006, 04:57 PM

and who said you got food on Qantas?
you call that food?
Recently i did a trip from here to Cairns and back flying Qantas Business Class
and even then the food was only just that
back in economy its just, hmm , well not food

Jokers Wild · 13-01-2006, 05:01 PM

I love the onbard saftey talk, theres a life jacket under the seat ( but in oz in most cases your flying over land ) so i suppose we just use them to bounce off the ground with, and my favourite, if we crash follow the strip lighting ? " ok passengers we have just hit a small hill and the plane looks worse than the one in the tv show LOST, but if you follow the strip lighting evrything will be fine"

flappist · 13-01-2006, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jokers Wild

I love the onbard saftey talk, theres a life jacket under the seat ( but in oz in most cases your flying over land ) so i suppose we just use them to bounce off the ground with, and my favourite, if we crash follow the strip lighting ? " ok passengers we have just hit a small hill and the plane looks worse than the one in the tv show LOST, but if you follow the strip lighting evrything will be fine"

The safety talk is LAW, they have no choice.

Bucknaked · 13-01-2006, 05:05 PM

I love air travel. Don't do it anymore for work. Pity, always the highlight of my day, and the fact I don't have to front the office. Now I have to let my Qantas club membership lapse. Rarely ate the food onboard. Thats what the Qantas club is for. Beer and food

Casper · 13-01-2006, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bucknaked

Thats what the Qantas club is for. Beer and food

Oh yeah, 5 scotch and cokes in 30 minutes. I love going home like that!

XA Coupsta · 13-01-2006, 05:28 PM

Geez Neek,

That was a short rant????

At the end of the day, Virgin achieved what they have (and lets all be honest - its plenty) by not taking themselves too seriously really. And honestly mate I think that is what you are doing - is taking things too seriously.

If you dont like the jokes - fine. Its understandable. But to get so worked up about it - well - surely you are better to expend your time and emotional energy into actually just letting stuff like that go instead of letting it get to you.

Personally - I only ever fly Virgin Blue and love it! The fun and cheeky attitude is far better than Qantas's holier than thou, nose in the air attitude.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mack 6

I flew to Hobart with virgin last year and it was terrible. The start of a long weekend of fun and frivolity. I was cramped(at 6'2") and bored. No food offered, but when I did order a round (3) or bundy cans, it was 20 odd bucks (I remember cos I had to get more schrapnel out)
Coming back I did byrnie the adelaide via melb with QANTAS. Great. On the first hop in a little dash-8, The hostess let me move to stretch out (she was pretty), then after she had handed out food and a drink of red or white wine to everyone, I got her chatting and she gave the remaining 2 half bottles to me and my mates gf to have.
Second hop was better, with another meal on offer and unlimited beer and wine (had to pay for rum).
Go the aussie carrier if you can.

Mack 6 - your post was almost holding some water until you owned up you only like Qantas coz the hostie was 'pretty' and she hooked you up with free grog.

And your comments about "go the Aussie carrier if you can" just shows you really dont know what you are talking about.

Virgin is more (far more) Australian than Qantas!!!!! Qantas has foreign ownership of the maximum allowable 49%. Virgin is majority owned by its executive members, Chris Corrigan/Patricks (all aussie there) and a small percentage of investors (people on the street).

So much for all of Qantas's marketing garbage "I still call Australia...hooooome". Oh perlease.

And Flappist - insinuating remarks about how Qantas actually does their maintenance (and therefore Virgin dont) is not on mate. Very poor form and you cant go anywhere near backing that statement up, and its a pretty serious one.

I say more power to Virgin Blue. And if people only have the jokes onboard to complain about then I reckon they are doing an awesome job.