Content and happy?

[SVR73]

I've always been a happy go lucky person and have cheated death twice So I cherish life

I have twenty or more passions and interests to keep me enthuses and satisfied
My own business doing what I love with a shop seven km from home and a great girlfriend who loves all the things I do

A fully retro shed with retro video movies by the thousands, memorabilia and retro gaming stuff to share with my mates on certain nights

Sure I don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank and cant afford to buy a house or have guaranteed same income every week. Don't know what I'll get some weeks. Its up and down but I'm greatful.

I'm going to enjoy life no matter what.
Should of died six weeks after I was born in a two car accident in feb 1973 with combined speed of 220 kmh (driver 140kmh and asleep at wheel t boned us), but an xa falcon I was in saved me my sister and mom. The other guy didn't make it (Chrysler hardtop)

When I have any troubles or feel disheartened I remember that me being alive is a bit of a fluke

Second time my dentist nearly killed me at ten years old. Stopped breathing for many minutes and was revived. Don't go near them now

[DBourne]

I don't really have any advice to provide, nor helpful wisdom to impart.

I just want to say a few things:

1) Good on you for getting it off your chest. I'm not a psychologist at all, but even I know that it is better to vent, than to hang on to it in silence.

2) Just because others sprout how happy they are, don't let that make you feel any worse. They aren't in the same situation as you, so don't give it any concern.

3) I'd hate to have to deal with the scenario you've described. It's putrid how money can just turn people in to demons, but I would implore you to just take a few minutes a day to let the missus know you're there for her, and whilst times are tough, you have each others back. It would make the world of difference to her.

[superyob]

I also have no meaningful advice as I tend to be both happy and content these days. However, I do think it is a state of mind that helps achieve that, not a set of advantageous material circumstances...

[Sam_Boss260]

I appreciate the comments guys.

I think it has helped a bit to vent and get things off my chest in a way. It is interesting to see different points of view and to understand where other people are in life. In can sometimes make you feel worse off to understand that some people simply don't have what appears to be the weight of the world on their shoulders. But one thing my dad also told me was that things are never what they seem.... But hey, if people are happy and carefree, good luck to them.

For me, it is what it is, and my wife and I just have to try and keep on keeping on and to ensure that we try and support each other. Hell, we went on date night last week and went to watch a movie on our own. How novel that was !!

Thanks again for reading and also sharing.

[noddy383]

I'm lucky enough to have a supportive family, I fell into a uni degree that I liked which lead to a career I love that pays a decent wage, so materialistically I'm set. Now I just have to sort out those things normal people have, whatchacall'em, emotions.

Sam, You sound like you're doing the right thing, even if all you can do at the moment is to make sure things don't go too far astray for you, your wife and the kids. Congratulations on getting in a date night.
In regards to the care situation, it can be tricky when classifying potential residents for care. My folks had great trouble with my dad's father as he was a little too well for high care, but not quite sprightly enough mentally to cope with low care. On top of the actual classification, there are also different payment regimes of each in terms of big upfront deposit vs smaller ongoing payments. I don't disagree that it is probably easier to sell up the property and set her up financially for care for life. Having experienced it with both my grandfathers, if she's willing to accept it, it can be much better for all concerned.

I have a friend who used to feel bad for being sad because there were people worse off than her. I reminded her that that's like not allowing yourself to be happy because there are people who are better off than you.
Be happy, be sad, be whatever feels right at the time, but don't forget to look ahead and try to make tomorrow a little better than today.

[SVR73]

I know this - that if you worry about it or anything too much that it will your head in
There was a quote by somebody once - life is always going to be difficult. Face each hurdle in your life with a positive mindset and keep moving forward.


Don't develop a negative outlook. My mother has that and always ends up finding something to ***** about. She is very caring and a great person but I wish she could just be thankful for what she has and be happy and not worry so much

[Ford_The_Win]

It's hard to remember how to be happy at times... these are my own personal principles for staying happy. I have them written on a piece of butcher's paper on my fridge just in case I lose sight of things which is more often than not

I have found that if I follow these simple principles that I spend so much time trying to teach others, funnily enough I am pretty tranquil and at peace with life most of the time.


***

-Be of value to yourself first and foremost. If you don't value your own self, you won't be of value to anyone else.

-Focus on what you need, rather than what you want - and learn to distinguish the two. Most of us have everything we need already but don't realise it. Having this clarity helps us get those things we want.

-Know what your priorities are when making decisions. In every decision there is some element of risk, and sometimes things don't turn out as planned, but if we make a really informed decision, that can reduce the likelihood of making a bad career move or relationship choice that can have repercussions later.

-Learn what really makes you happy and do that. Too often I see clients who are chasing something to please someone else or because someone else told them they need it to be happy.

-Sound physical and mental health is the absolute foundation for happiness. Guard your health like you would your savings account. Fortunes can be made and lost but once your health is gone, it's very hard to get it back. Go and see your GP if need be and make the most of what you have been given.

[Phildo]

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

The will has been done, 50 / 50 with my wife and the BIL. And they both have enduring power of attorney. He's not trying to take to property now, he just wants it there after she is gone. The MIL is getting the rent money now, but as I said it just covers the bills on the properties. Still, it's her property to do what she wants with. There are some other stories relating to money and my BIL which I won't share here, but this is not a great situation.

BIL can get stuffed.

If the properties are not generating positive cash flow, then why bother having them?

Is there something that can be sold? Is it worth identifying which property(s) aren't generating cash flow, selling it/them and putting the money into something that does generate cash flow?

Maybe a meeting with a financial planner or two might be worthwhile?

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

How does my wife feel about all of this? She is stressed to the max, and the pressure is building up. She is in the same boat as I am, not happy nor content.

In five years time, when you're getting separated, you'll look back at these days and realise that if you had have taken action now then you wouldn't be getting separated and divorced.

There needs to be some discussions and changes.

Is a granny flat of some sort an option?

Do some sort of deal where half of the properties are sold and you put that money into buying a place that can have a granny flat? Or some sort of duplex setup? ie pre-inheritance.

It doesn't make sense that she has assets but is unable to live off them.

[Sam_Boss260]

Phildo, this is what I keep trying to explain to my family in-law. The properties (flats and house) of my MIL are a LIABILITY !!! And to offload them whilst they can decent money now. But the BIL keeps going on about they will be worth more in the future blah blah, build units and student accomm and they will double in price blah blah.

I like the "in 5 years time" analogy... will have to use it.