What is it with the youth of today :(

[Mr Brooksy]

Originally Posted by DJM83

Valid point and you the youth worker not me. But why should i have to change them. I did wrong as a kid, i got belted as did all my mates, we all ended up pretty well off. Maybe im being old fashioned, but im not old. I know the world is different now and im not the expert. But its hard for me to see what you are alluding to as being beneficial.

The bold section is one of the issues right there (not pointing any fingers at you, it's totally a common belief). We as people in our communities somehow assume that we are completely disconnected and not part of any problems. We do our own things, mind our own business etc, because we all live in an individual focused world. But kids/youth etc are effected directly or indirectly by the community they are raised in as a whole (as we all are). No matter how individualistic we are, we effect more than those directly in our personal lives. If you've ever gotten to speak on a deeper level with the 'delinquent' troublesome kids, you'll often hear them say that "no one cares" (add the usual language as needed). They are not just talking about family, relatives etc.

Many of us, if we think really hard about it, have people in our formative years who were either not paid or paid very little to do things that benefit you. Sports coaches, zebra crossing lollipop people (at schools), friends parents, school councellors, canteen volunteers, grounds keepers, the army of community organisations and volunteers that work behind the scenes to allow our childhood to be what it was. Not to mention professionals who directly/indirectly effect us all the time.

The kids that feel like no one cares often 1) don't see what others do for them day after day (common) and or 2) have more negative influences than positive, the file that schools have on some kids with very messy situations that they are aware of would make you sick (at times it's too much even for someone like myself with experience to cope with).

Even something as simple as saying Gday in passing to a group of kids can actually be the only positive experience that a kid/kids will see in a day.

Originally Posted by falcon_bandit

Being young doesnt excuse you from being on drugs, being in a gang & generally disregarding anything thats right. My kids are fine. Why am i supposed to be held responsible for others?

You are correct in saying that kids situations do not excuse what they do. But be careful in assuming what you think is right is what they have grown up thinking's is right. As I mentioned above some kids definition of 'right' or normal can be totally messed up, totally backwards, totally/unbelievably wrong. If they don't have an opposite or right model to compare to, then what do the wider community expect?

You may have done a great job as a parent, fantastic, bravo, good on ya, hats off. You may even be well past the age of raising kids, but you still have so much to offer kids who don't have parents period/good parents/role models etc as good, awesome, extraordinary as you. If you as a good role model don't do anything then those who aren't good will continue to be the driving/informing influence on our communities kids, what do you think logically will more than likely happen?

NB, apologies if I've missed spelling mistakes and sentence structure, I did it all on my phone and I'm exhausted.

[Trevor 57]

and we bred them, so where did we go wrong?

[Maka]

No one cares, so i dont care.. Thats the mindset of the at risk teenagers that are doing it really tough, alone & maybe homeless..

The local youth centre, which actually is a youth crime prevention asset, can & do accommodate volunteers to spread their positive life experiences & mentor some of these kids.

And the at risk teenagers do listen because they respect people if people listen to their life story & understand their plight & can help them.That was my understanding when i was a youth worker.

I was a paid y/w & did many, many volunteer hours also, the impact of my paid & volunteer actions is after 9 years out of the job, those kids under my mentorship back then still to this day remember me & trust me like a good uncle & most of those kids changed their life journeys for the better, for which I'm very proud of them.

Spread some volunteer love in your local youth centre & community, your community will be all the better for it for sure & those teenagers that need your help will know someone cares & understands them & can help them find their true potential & self.

cheers, Maka

[chamb0]

Originally Posted by Syndrome

It is difficult to imagine that things could have changed so significantly since this thread was created in 2010.

For one thing, in the meantime the OP of this thread was jailed for causing death by dangerous driving while drunk on his P plates.

[LTDHO]

I'd say it's worse.

Kids walk in to a store take what they want and leave, they don't hide what they do, they know there is no punishment. It happened not far from me 3 days ago.

They do it because they can, not because they need to.

[Syndrome]

&*^R^&(U*!@T#YRG&!@#$GR*&!@#T$YGF~!OR^&YT~$R

Crunched my new car this evening. But what really has me livid is how it occurred. Youths in Dandenong crossing the street on a blind corner, walking in front of fast moving cars expecting them to stop. The car in front of me just missed hitting one of them and left me no chance of not running into the back of them. Then when I questioned the youths, who were walking away, they had an insular attitude and claimed I was driving too fast. When I pulled over with the other driver several of these people started to congregate around us and one become aggressive. We decided it was not safe to stay there so drove to the nearest police station and reported the incident. The dash cam footage will be give to the police tomorrow.

By the way, the youths were all of African origin............

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by LTDHO

I'd say it's worse.

Kids walk in to a store take what they want and leave, they don't hide what they do, they know there is no punishment. It happened not far from me 3 days ago.

They do it because they can, not because they need to.

I witnessed the same thing last week at the local Woolworths. 3 mid teens just walked out of the store with a heap of meat trays up their jumpers and the security guard caught them.
2 of them legged it whilst the 3rd was stopped by the security guard as the guard grabbed his scooter. Turns out it wasn't his scooter, but belonged to one of the 2 who legged it, the one who legged it had a mountain bike which belonged to the one with the security guard and so within minutes the one who legged it came back with the bike and offered to swap it with the security guard which the guard agreed to, after the swap the little ***** throws down the scooter and gets right up in the face of the security guard, abusing him and telling him he cant touch him, rah, rah, rah.
This went on for 10 minutes much to the amusement of some people watching and the rest of the pack, I was livid and felt like squeezing the little pricks neck till it popped but that would just see me locked up.

The following day I had my psychologists appointment and during the discussion we were talking about things that shaped us from our childhood and how due to our negative experiences at the hands of strict upbringing we needed to relearn in order to be better people.
The psychologist said that as generations evolve we become better parents and as a result our children become better parents for future generations etc. and that to evolve we must prune back the 'tree' (an analogy) that we are, to promote fresh growth and rid ourselves of the bad past.

I listened for a while and when I could take no more I asked her what she thought of todays kids and how they interact with society, she claimed that kids are so much better these days, have so many opportunities and should be free to express themselves as they please.
This is when I mentioned what i'd witnessed at the shops the day before, she said it was an isolated incident and not indicative of the youth of today.
I nearly spat my water across the table, I said your kidding, I said this is exactly a snapshot of todays youth, no respect, no care for authority, no responsibility, stealing cars and killing innocent mothers etc. etc.
I went on quite the rant.

She then said something about Millennials being misunderstood.
I said misunderstood, I don't see how they could be misunderstood, I got the gist of their **** quite easily, they believe they are untouchable.
I said you know the 'tree' you were talking about pruning, well that 'tree' grows from a seed and that seed sets down its core roots early on in its life, all the pruning in the world wont alter the tree's core base if it is raised without any care and structure.
A childs core structure should be respect, honesty, integrity, not the belief that they can do as they please, that would just produce a wild mess which is what we see in the youth today.
I then asked her what she thought these millennials have in common, she said the desire to be individuals, I said no, what they have in common is that they are the product of the generation which grew up through the 80's of the belief that there is no place for being disciplined, you cant touch me, I'm protected by the law that I break at will.

People trot out the line that previous generations were too hard on their kids, my Father was hard as nails and that does result in life long problems, but what it did give me was a moral compass to know right from wrong, to show respect and to be honest with myself when I do wrong..
Governments legislated against child abuse and fair enough, beating the crap out of your kids isn't the answer, trust me, but rather than finding middle ground they moved too far in the opposite direction with that generation and as a result, subsequent generations believe they are less and less responsible for their actions.

By the time I was done she just sat there, she had nothing because she couldn't argue her text book learned rhetoric as just like the 'tree', the proof is in the results of learned behaviour, not in the good intentions when its too late and the results are evident if you look around at todays youth.

The irony is that she is Asian and as a result, brought up with strict parenting and is a decent person from what I've experienced, but because she's chosen to pursue psychology she has all but ignored the benefits of her upbringing to embrace the PC rubbish that they teach in Universities these days.

[GO FURTHER]

Originally Posted by BENT_8

A childs core structure should be respect, honesty, integrity, not the belief that they can do as they please, that would just produce a wild mess which is what we see in the youth today.

To control the behaviour of people and youth especially, you have to either instill "respect" or "fear"... Without either, there will always be problems unfortunately.

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by GO FURTHER

To control the behaviour of people and youth especially, you have to either instill "respect" or "fear"... Without either, there will always be problems unfortunately.

In a nutshell, yes!

[Lunch]

@ bent 8

[Lunch]

Dbl post

[jpblue1000]

Originally Posted by GO FURTHER

To control the behaviour of people and youth especially, you have to either instill "respect" or "fear"... Without either, there will always be problems unfortunately.

Not quite. I think you earn respect and cause fear through actions. To demand respect will backfire and cause fear will lead to further rebellion.

Baby boomers are to blame but!, they bred a bunch of spineless lazy gen xers who cant control their stupid millenials...did i miss anyone!

JP

[solarite_guy]

Originally Posted by jpblue1000

Not quite. I think you earn respect and cause fear through actions. To demand respect will backfire and cause fear will lead to further rebellion.

Baby boomers are to blame but!, they bred a bunch of spineless lazy gen xers who cant control their stupid millenials...did i miss anyone!

JP

You missed the Greatest Generation. They raised the Baby Boomers. LOL.

[DJR-351]

Originally Posted by jpblue1000

Not quite. I think you earn respect and cause fear through actions. To demand respect will backfire and cause fear will lead to further rebellion.

JP

The way i read it you got GO FURTHERS post assbackwards, he wasn't talking about demanding respect (or fear) he was suggesting teaching (instilling) how to respect, which i agree with completely.

As for the fear side that's just an extension of learning respect, teaching that when showing disrespect there could be consequences, some of them very unpleasant.

"You'll never earn it if you don't learn it" is what i believe.....

[jpblue1000]

Originally Posted by DJR-351

The way i read it you got GO FURTHERS post assbackwards, he wasn't talking about demanding respect (or fear) he was suggesting teaching (instilling) how to respect, which i agree with completely.

As for the fear side that's just an extension of learning respect, teaching that when showing disrespect there could be consequences, some of them very unpleasant.

"You'll never earn it if you don't learn it" is what i believe.....

Understood, but maybe I play semantics on the word instil!
Anything born out of fear is not respect! Thats a whole different ball game and Id encourage rebellion against tyranny.

JP

[DJR-351]

Originally Posted by jpblue1000

Understood, but maybe I play semantics on the word instil!
Anything born out of fear is not respect! Thats a whole different ball game and Id encourage rebellion against tyranny.

JP

I'm talking about teaching things like showing respect to the copper that's just pulled you up, been a total twat to them might get you a night in the pokey for your troubles, been respectful goes a long way to minimise the grief you may get for breaking whatever law you have been pinged on.

I'm certainly not suggesting you turn someone into a cowering dog! but there are so many self absorbed twits out there that feel that there are entitled to do what they want whenever they want and bugger what anyone else thinks or feels, the slammer's full of them.

No need to get all tyrannical about instilling a bit of fear, but teaching them about consequence might just keep your kids on the straight and narrow.

[Mr Brooksy]

One of the major issues I've seen in my 15+ years of youth work is the move away from having consequences for behaviour.

I don't support belting the snot out of children, but we have also removed pretty much all consequences as well which teaches kids nothing but, "I can do what I want, and you can't touch me".

And that councillor story does my head in.... Do we really believe we are parenting better than previous generations! Seriously! My social worker friends seem to be swamped, just dealing with family's self destructing, abuse, drug related violence... The list goes on. Sure I agree that generally people don't understand Millennials etc, but that has nothing to do with teaching values and respect, responsibility and community.

That's why a program my organisation used to run was insanely effective, but alas getting anything external into a high school to help support them now days is all but impossible. Thank you very much to the anti everything brigade that's caused schools to be inaccessible by community groups who have been supporting kids and doing what schools can't for decades.

[Sprintey]

Thanks Mr Brooksy, some good posts. In one of my roles, I am face to face with the public in an 'outdoor-ed' style role, including school students. We are lucky in that we are the 'fun' activities, but it is rewarding to share and teach so many, perhaps thousands a season. I'm aware that I'm part of the experience, and try to keep a level of enthusiasm, keep my students safe, and introduce them to remarkable parts of nature... I have long suspected, after surfing saved me from a very typical suburban/drinking/etc youth that Nature-Based activities are really something that is deeply needed by every person, and can act as a path of initiation that is sorely lacking in modern life. It can be any type, mountain biking, bushwalking, ocean swimming, watching the (celestial) stars... So when our own Gen Z kids came along, immersion in nature was part of the plan and we were able to do this in great amounts. Fishing, surfing, snow, camping, all the animals and plants over our great nation... The results have been good. There are risks as well, such as being in the water with your 13yo and there's a 5 metre White basking out the back! Overall it is well worth it. It also helped reading Steve Biddulph's book Manhood in the mid 90's, something he described as the Wild Spirit of Man... So when I hear of a lot of this behaviour I wonder how much is due to the modern 'anomie' - surrounded by an artificial landscape and lack of identified opportunity. It doesn't help that we are destroying our real, productive businesses, either - these are pathways to real constructive work for many people... Anyway, consider this aspect of it. Excuse lack of paragraphs, computer is being silly. Back to work...

[Mercury Bullet]

Yep, kids don't get out anymore.

Can't remember the last time I saw a game of street cricket/footy.
All locked up safe and sound in front of the computer.

[LG17]

The problems come down to 2 things - rights and responsibilities.
Many years ago you had to learn about, deal with and accept your responsibilities.
When you had shown that you could do this successfully you were granted some rights - not many but enough to see if you could cope with them without affecting your responsibilities.
If you showed you could handle them successfully you were entrusted with some more rights until eventually you were allowed to make your own way.
In the late 1970s this started to change.
People stated banging on about their rights and eventually it went too far.
So far, in fact, that people demanded rights before they even accepted any responsibilities.
Sadly, despite the efforts of some parents, rights are king and responsibilities, well, they can just go and get ****ed. You hear and see it all the time.

[superyob]

"Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers."

Socrates, sometime on a Saturday afternoon, many years BC!

[malazn mafia]

Originally Posted by Lever T

and we bred them, so where did we go wrong?

Didn't use birth control

[Ross 1]

Originally Posted by Syndrome

By the way, the youths were all of African origin............

And? Does their origin make any difference to the incident?

[LG17]

Originally Posted by Ross 1

And? Does their origin make any difference to the incident?

If he's in Melbourne it quite probably is.
That's where these so called Apex gangs are running rampant.

[GasoLane]

As usual there's always a couple of good kids that ruin the rep of the ratbags.

The other day as my wife was getting back into her car two young blokes, she guessed late teens, came up to her and said that someone had opened their door against ours.

Apparently They hung around for about 20 mins so they could give her the make and rego number.

She offered them some drink money but they refused.

[roKWiz]

Originally Posted by GasOLane

As usual there's always a couple of good kids that ruin the rep of the ratbags.

The other day as my wife was getting back into her car two young blokes, she guessed late teens, came up to her and said that someone had opened their door against ours.

Recently I had a (loud) water alarm going off in the truck as I came into Gundagai, after stopping at the park and popping the cab up two young guys (in an old Falcon) pulled alongside and asked me if I needed tools or anything.
Fortunately it was just a wire which fell off the sensor but glad they were there to help.

[superyob]

Originally Posted by Ross 1

And? Does their origin make any difference to the incident?

Ahhh yes...

Incompatible cultures and social mores...

It's not rocket science...

[thefargo]

Originally Posted by superyob

"Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers."

Socrates, sometime on a Saturday afternoon, many years BC!

alleged - he wrote nothing down!

[mcflux]

Originally Posted by Ross 1

And? Does their origin make any difference to the incident?

Maybe it happened at night