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Old 07-10-2010, 12:07 PM   #61
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Do it! Please
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Old 07-10-2010, 12:12 PM   #62
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yes .......pleez do.
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Old 07-10-2010, 12:30 PM   #63
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yup i agree with the few above

please do i search for this thread every yr just to have a laugh
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Old 07-10-2010, 01:08 PM   #64
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very well. The sequel!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the land
The nation was stuffing its face full of ham
The stockings were sold and so was the tree
and I got a good price for the kids PS3

But why had I sold all the things they held dear
Because of the Falcons busted diff gear
It had died in a fit of traction and smoke
took one big heave and then it did croak

So the family would suffer this Christmas you see
because I had to have a 9 inch LSD
but never you mind they have all that they need
both bread and water for 6 weeks to feed

So in the shed I did live for the last bloody week
while my wife and my kids called me a freak
“You selfish old bugger” again I was called
while under the car with tools I was sprawled

Then as the door slammed I heard a new noise
a v8 in my driveway, it was one of the boys!
Outside I rushed but it was all in vain
Mark Skaife on my lawn! Not you again!

He wasn't alone this time, just as before
out piled cretins from the 3 other doors
They didn't look happy and most in bad shape
It must've been last years 7 days of prison rape

Murphy whined first, “Its revenge that we seek!”
then Perkins did follow with “lets get this creep!”
So on they did rush, one wielding a razor
Till Skaife's ugly mug impacted my tazer

The cadre of fools then stopped in their tracks
As Skaifie collapsed, convulsed and then fouled his dacks
“What do we do?” Whined Murphy to Grice
But it was too late now for thinking twice

Downed Brockie! downed Murphy!
Downed, Gricie and Firth!
All fell off their feet!
Now to chase Perkins into the street!
Ill Sue! Ill Sue!
He squirmed on his belly
Crying real tears as I then tazered Kelly

My wife called the cops, when she witnessed the fight
and I was hauled down the station, a terrible plight
into the court I stood before I could flee
“Is that the man that tazed you?” the lawyer asked, pointing at me

“That's him right there!” their voices all chimed
Except Handbag of course who continued to whine
“He tazed me in the groin!” he cried to the court
While those in the gallery did giggle and snort

But before the Judge could retain his composure
Murph revealed his crotch in total exposure
Uproar! Screams! The court was in fits!
While my sheister lawyer got the case dismissed!

Christmas was funded when I then counter sued
All of Perkins lawyers knew they were screwed
For mental anguish I demanded 10 grand or larger
Screw the tree I thought, that's a supercharger.
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Old 07-10-2010, 01:10 PM   #65
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by the way you cant read it until christmas.
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Old 07-10-2010, 01:45 PM   #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sourbastard
by the way you cant read it until christmas.
Well, a number of places were celebrating Christmas in July....so
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Old 07-10-2010, 06:06 PM   #67
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thats gold
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Old 07-10-2010, 06:11 PM   #68
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hahahaha pure win
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Old 07-10-2010, 07:45 PM   #69
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ROFL!!!! Thats absolute gold!
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Old 07-10-2010, 09:12 PM   #70
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Thanks Dave, another ripper.
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Old 07-10-2010, 09:27 PM   #71
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Christmas? ....bugger
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Old 07-10-2010, 11:12 PM   #72
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How does one set up an automatic thread mine for Christmas Eve?
Good one Uncle SB!
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Old 07-10-2010, 11:37 PM   #73
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Bahaha! Awesome, thanks SB!
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Old 08-10-2010, 02:14 AM   #74
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lol was wondering why this was uptop in the bar, I'm not due to thread mine it for another 2 months. :P
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Old 08-10-2010, 01:50 PM   #75
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Bastard you're a champ, that's funny as!!
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Old 08-10-2010, 02:16 PM   #76
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sourbastard
by the way you cant read it until christmas.
I snuck in under the tree and opened it, re wrapped it and then put it back.
Trust me, I didn't see what was inside.


Your a champ - thanks again for another bottler.
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Old 20-12-2010, 04:37 PM   #77
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Revived!
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http://fordforums.com.au/showthread....09#post5571209
-- Best E/T: |14.982 @92.12mph | R/T:0.013 | 60' 2.213| 330: 6.283 | 1/8: 9.624 @ 73.17mph | 1000: 12.529 | 25Deg, N/A Hum, 1010mb | Willowbank Raceway 7/12/16

Tickford EL Falcon XR6 RIP
-- Factory Manual
-- Best E/T: |14.991 @ 92.71mph | R/T: 0.607 | 60': 2.215 | 660': 9.665 |13Deg, 86%H, 1024mb, 184RA @ Willowbank Raceway
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Old 05-12-2011, 12:08 AM   #78
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Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Ho Ho Ho!
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09/00 VX HSV XU6 Build #0001 of 0171
http://fordforums.com.au/showthread....09#post5571209
-- Best E/T: |14.982 @92.12mph | R/T:0.013 | 60' 2.213| 330: 6.283 | 1/8: 9.624 @ 73.17mph | 1000: 12.529 | 25Deg, N/A Hum, 1010mb | Willowbank Raceway 7/12/16

Tickford EL Falcon XR6 RIP
-- Factory Manual
-- Best E/T: |14.991 @ 92.71mph | R/T: 0.607 | 60': 2.215 | 660': 9.665 |13Deg, 86%H, 1024mb, 184RA @ Willowbank Raceway
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Old 05-12-2011, 12:19 AM   #79
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Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Hahaha.... Absolute Gold, even after 6 years...!
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Old 05-12-2011, 12:25 AM   #80
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Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

encoure!
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Old 01-12-2013, 12:27 PM   #81
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Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Thread Mining for fun and profit.
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Old 02-12-2013, 09:39 AM   #82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sourbastard View Post
Thread Mining for fun and profit.
*faints at the sight of an SB post*
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:52 PM   #83
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Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Its all an illusion.
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Old 08-12-2013, 08:01 AM   #84
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Aren't we due for a third installment Uncle SB?

Sent from my GT-P5110 using Tapatalk
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Old 24-12-2019, 03:22 PM   #85
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Surely we can wrap the decade with third installment? I never actually realised the original original was from 2005..... my how the years have flown by!
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