Marriage - Bliss or Prison?

[Work Horse]

Originally Posted by guzzis3

People get together because they want to have sex. It takes 2 - 3 years for the novelty to wear off .

Your doing it wrong.....

[kaniSS]

I'm surprised most of you are still going at it after marriage. lol Fresh marriages Give it a few years. you'd be lucky to get it twice a week.

[Mechan1k]

Originally Posted by kaniSS

I'm surprised most of you are still going at it after marriage. lol Fresh marriages Give it a few years. you'd be lucky to get it twice a week month.

Fixed

[Citroënbender]

Originally Posted by kaniSS

I'm surprised most of you are still going at it after marriage. lol Fresh marriages Give it a few years. menopause you'd be lucky to get it twice a week month.

More fixed.

[blueoval]

If its not your birthday or anniversary, you are getting more than your fair share

[Polyal]

Originally Posted by blueoval

If its not your birthday or anniversary, you are getting more than your fair share

hahaha I laugh because its half true.

On the up side you dont have to worry about picking up anymore

[Mechan1k]

Originally Posted by Polyal

hahaha I laugh because its half true.

On the up side you dont have to worry about picking up anymore

The only picking up you end up doing is your kids from school every afternoon.

[BENT_8]

Bliss or Prison...

Somewhere in between for mine.

I've been Married for 16years this coming Friday, been together for 28yrs last December and got together when she was 14 and I 15, we have 4 children ranging from 8 to 21.
We disagree occasionally and we both win and lose those disagreements when they happen, but we always acknowledge when the other is correct and admit our faults and I think this is key to why we've lasted so long, some people never argue and when they do its so out of nature that it signals a change in the relationship which can allow doubt to enter.

My Wife is my best friend and I am hers and this is something we say regularly.

[|||]

if your wife has cut you off just cheat. as long as you're not a fat loser 30 year olds are lining up

[marty351]

Gumball!!!

[danzvtil]

Being single is bliss. Something’s only an issue if I say it is. Women find issues with everything, never happy or content.

[GO FURTHER]

Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish the difference between "completed" and "finished".

But if you marry the right woman you will feel completed.... Marry the wrong one and you will be finished!

[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by GT0132

Not sure why kids are brought into it from the posts above. If you don't love your kids and think they are the best thing that has happened to you in your life you have a problem.

Its an interesting position, I asked the question elsewhere that if you could go back in time would you still have kids and it caused offense

Unrelated to GT0132 above but I think there is too much emphasis by our society on 'happily ever after' and 'until death' - why can't it be acceptable that it ran its course over X duration and it was OK while it worked and that one (or both) have just moved on because it no longer works?

I feel that there is a lot of shock over divorces that have happened over decades, whats wrong with looking at it from the perspective that it was great over 5, 10, 15, 20 years etc?

[Bushbasher]

I've been with my missus since 2000 and thank my lucky stars every day that I found someone who puts up with this grumpy old git day in and day out, gets into to bed with me every night and never says no without good reason. I try to keep her happy whenever and wherever I can and tell her I love her every night before we go to sleep and she me.

[XByoot]

Originally Posted by mmhmm

Just curious,

For those married guys or those in long term living arrangements with women. Would you change your life?
Do you think it's a prison or heaven. Can you do as you want or is there the prison guard to take approval

whats your take?

I’m making the assumption your either thinking of taking the plunge or your already in a dive! This may help your decision making process.

https://youtu.be/bbpGkrViOcE


On a more serious note mate, people have to be good by themselves before your good in a relationship. I have a good mate who just can’t be by himself, top bloke but he drives women crazy .. eventually. He’s got the talk he’s got the job, but he’s a dead loss. If he was a chick he would be a Tiffany ( refer above video) . I’ve been thru it all, I openly admit I was wrong in getting married the first time, good lady, great kids but we were different in many ways, I was career driven, young , and pretty crappy at communicating what was in my mind. Years down the track we are now top mates and get along really well. I always feel bad for doing her wrong. I’m wiser from the experience and I’m not backwards at coming forwards these days and communicating what’s on my mind. My present gal has no kids, been together for years, both independant, know what we are and give each other space, which I really enjoy and so does she. This wouldn’t work for a lot of blokes but it suits us. She travels a lot, previous BFs didn’t like that, constantly asking what she was doing and with who etc etc. pretty insecure bloke stuff. Had to have a good chat with her ex Bf but he’s clear on the subject nowadays.
At the end of the day you make it what you make it. Be honest to yourself and then take a step back and find a good gal, not just a good shag ,a good mate or someone with similar direction in life...you need all of that! If it doesnt feel right have a long hard think.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Just remember a few things.

Around half marriages / relationships end in divorce / separation. We live in a disposable, selfish society so that figure is not a surprise.

As a male, you have no rights to fairness whatsoever if things go sour.

The system is currently set up in such a way that an evil and vindictive female can totally destroy her partner with the full support of the legal system, police and child support.

Assets you had will now be hers, kids you have will be hers, etc.

She can lie, manipulate the situation, cheat, steal, have affairs, stop you from seeing your kids, kick you out of your own house, get help and support from countless community agencies and all the while if she has ulterior motives or mental illness she will get away with it with a smile and full support.

Should you complain, object, tell her friends or... do the same to her you will be torn apart by anyone and everyone. In fact, it will be used against you as proof of how bad a person you are. Yet, a blind eye is turned had the roles been reversed.

Just let that sink in before you make any decisions.

I'll say that again. If you are a bloke and your Mrs wakes up one morning and decides she wants to totally destroy you she can and there is not a thing you can do about it.

Having an affair, cleaning out bank accounts, lying (to anyone, including Police and courts), withholding children etc isn't against the law, and has no bearing on court cases. In actual fact it's endorsed in some of the above circles.

So, as a female, what have you to lose?

If you have kids - even better for her. If you had assets and she had none, she has just won the jackpot.

And remember - your only recourse is to hope she cares enough to cut you some slack.

Other than that - spend around $200k in court spread over 5 years and you may hopefully get 1/3rd of what ever you thought was 'fair and reasonable'.

Don't ask me how I know...

[XByoot]

Originally Posted by Franco Cozzo

Its an interesting position, I asked the question elsewhere that if you could go back in time would you still have kids and it caused offense

Unrelated to GT0132 above but I think there is too much emphasis by our society on 'happily ever after' and 'until death' - why can't it be acceptable that it ran its course over X duration and it was OK while it worked and that one (or both) have just moved on because it no longer works?

I feel that there is a lot of shock over divorces that have happened over decades, whats wrong with looking at it from the perspective that it was great over 5, 10, 15, 20 years etc?

I like the way you think mate! Plenty of people suffer in a relationship due to the financial or emotional risk of divorce so they just tolerate things as they are. I’d rather dig a fish hook out of my eye. Of course you try and try hard, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out and life ain’t a rehearsal.
My gal and I had a break a while back, interesting to see how people behave. I was very much like you say, “it’s been great, we tried, had great times “ but it wasn’t working due to her family ties, long story but try living with a “9 hot and 11 crazy” cousin your partner decides to take under wing without full discussion, what can I say, shes Italian and family first! This chick was a total nightmare, quite sad really, she was looking for a mother figure to control, saw me as a threat and did everything she could to make it hard. I’m too old for stupid games like that. She won the battle but lost the war .
We sorted it all out in the end, the cousin overstepped the mark big time and got flicked out and I reckon the GF are better for the experience. One thing I noticed was she never tried to come after me financially, which would be unlikely anyways, no kids, dual income etc. ( never date a woman who has no assets to her name after being on this earth for a period of time) It’s an honest relationship, we can both walk anytime we like, that’s been proven, but we stay together because we want to...plus she has a hot cousin

By the way, my kids are grown up now and they are awesome . They were turds at times, just like me I guess!

[nuthin' fancy]

Originally Posted by Franco Cozzo

Its an interesting position, I asked the question elsewhere that if you could go back in time would you still have kids and it caused offense

Unrelated to GT0132 above but I think there is too much emphasis by our society on 'happily ever after' and 'until death' - why can't it be acceptable that it ran its course over X duration and it was OK while it worked and that one (or both) have just moved on because it no longer works?

I feel that there is a lot of shock over divorces that have happened over decades, whats wrong with looking at it from the perspective that it was great over 5, 10, 15, 20 years etc?

I think we are better suited to serial monogamy than 'forever' relationships.

If your wedding day is the best day of your life, then it is all down hill from there.

I've been happily married for six years (since 1996).

Talking among my peers, only the single guys are getting any.

[nuthin' fancy]

Originally Posted by XByoot

https://youtu.be/bbpGkrViOcE

.

I was hoping for that link.

[jaydee]

Originally Posted by Bushbasher

I've been with my missus since 2000 and thank my lucky stars every day that I found someone who puts up with this grumpy old git day in and day out, gets into to bed with me every night and never says no without good reason. I try to keep her happy whenever and wherever I can and tell her I love her every night before we go to sleep and she me.

Has she got a sister?

[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by nuthin' fancy

I think we are better suited to serial monogamy than 'forever' relationships.

If your wedding day is the best day of your life, then it is all down hill from there.

I've been happily married for six years (since 1996).

Talking among my peers, only the single guys are getting any.

There's plenty of married guys getting some - just not with the wife

[KobiXR6T]

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?

...she fits the wifes clothes!!

Good thread! Lots of good info in here. I think communication is the big one. A lot of us blokes aren't really great at saying what we want or feel. A lot of women aren't that great at being honest about it with us either.

I always found I could make any relationship work. It just depended on what you were willing to sacrifice for that relationship, and how you felt about those sacrifices. A good partner will be on the same page. There will be compromise, but it will be balanced.

People change, situations change, time keeps changing. Nothing wrong with periodically evaluating your relationship and making sure both still want to keep on down the path together. I figure thats a better option than just sticking it out unhappily until reaching a point where one party looks elsewhere.

[XByoot]

Originally Posted by nuthin' fancy

.

I was hoping for that link.

Yeah I couldn’t resist! Tell you what, I went out for a few too many beers the other night with a few mates. I love observing the species and I can vouch that his crazy/hot theory is extremely accurate! I get that some pubs etc aren’t the best place to meet a future partner, but man there’s some spinners out there! It made me very happy to be in a relationship. All I kept thinking was if my gal walked into that bar I’d crawl over broken glass and every other person in there to get to her! Her smile and eyes still get me every time. That being said there’s still plenty of nice ones too, just not in the places we went

[XByoot]

Originally Posted by KobiXR6T

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?

...she fits the wifes clothes!!

Good thread! Lots of good info in here. I think communication is the big one. A lot of us blokes aren't really great at saying what we want or feel. A lot of women aren't that great at being honest about it with us either.

I always found I could make any relationship work. It just depended on what you were willing to sacrifice for that relationship, and how you felt about those sacrifices. A good partner will be on the same page. There will be compromise, but it will be balanced.

People change, situations change, time keeps changing. Nothing wrong with periodically evaluating your relationship and making sure both still want to keep on down the path together. I figure thats a better option than just sticking it out unhappily until reaching a point where one party looks elsewhere.

Very well said mate

[MercuryT]

Prison is like heaven compared to marriage : )

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

Just remember a few things.

Around half marriages / relationships end in divorce / separation. We live in a disposable, selfish society so that figure is not a surprise.

As a male, you have no rights to fairness whatsoever if things go sour.

The system is currently set up in such a way that an evil and vindictive female can totally destroy her partner with the full support of the legal system, police and child support.

Assets you had will now be hers, kids you have will be hers, etc.

She can lie, manipulate the situation, cheat, steal, have affairs, stop you from seeing your kids, kick you out of your own house, get help and support from countless community agencies and all the while if she has ulterior motives or mental illness she will get away with it with a smile and full support.

Should you complain, object, tell her friends or... do the same to her you will be torn apart by anyone and everyone. In fact, it will be used against you as proof of how bad a person you are. Yet, a blind eye is turned had the roles been reversed.

Just let that sink in before you make any decisions.

I'll say that again. If you are a bloke and your Mrs wakes up one morning and decides she wants to totally destroy you she can and there is not a thing you can do about it.

Having an affair, cleaning out bank accounts, lying (to anyone, including Police and courts), withholding children etc isn't against the law, and has no bearing on court cases. In actual fact it's endorsed in some of the above circles.

So, as a female, what have you to lose?

If you have kids - even better for her. If you had assets and she had none, she has just won the jackpot.

And remember - your only recourse is to hope she cares enough to cut you some slack.

Other than that - spend around $200k in court spread over 5 years and you may hopefully get 1/3rd of what ever you thought was 'fair and reasonable'.

Don't ask me how I know...

I have watched a work colleague go through mostly what you have just described. It makes me both sad and angry, this person is one of the most docile and kind people you would ever meet.

[marty351]

Originally Posted by dfb fgxr6

i have watched a work colleague go through mostly what you have just described. It makes me both sad and angry, this person is one of the most docile and kind people you would ever meet.

never get married.

[jaydee]

Originally Posted by MercuryT

Prison is like heaven compared to marriage : )

And you get early parole for good behavior

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by marty351

never get married.

Same if you just shack up with someone these days.

Before you get serious, go speak to an accountant and lawyer and ask how to structure your affairs so the other half gets as little as possible if things go sour.

Then, following that get a pre-nup.

Don't be shy about it. The same person that gets offended because you don't trust them will happily pay a lawyer $450 per hour to get whatever they can out if you.

And courts just love to please women...

I was once quite a wealthy person with not a care in the world....

Next week after my mortgage comes out of my account I'll have $40 in my wallet and that's it.

All because I trusted my partner... Big effing mistake.

And I consider myself lucky. I had a supportive family and a never say die attitude.

For every 1-2 woman that suicides there are 7-8 men on average per day.

Do you wonder why that is?

Sent from my LG-M700 using Tapatalk

[Tassie f100]

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

Same if you just shack up with someone these days.

Before you get serious, go speak to an accountant and lawyer and ask how to structure your affairs so the other half gets as little as possible if things go sour.

Then, following that get a pre-nup.

Don't be shy about it. The same person that gets offended because you don't trust them will happily pay a lawyer $450 per hour to get whatever they can out if you.

And courts just love to please women...

I was once quite a wealthy person with not a care in the world....

Next week after my mortgage comes out of my account I'll have $40 in my wallet and that's it.

All because I trusted my partner... Big effing mistake.

And I consider myself lucky. I had a supportive family and a never say die attitude.

For every 1-2 woman that suicides there are 7-8 men on average per day.

Do you wonder why that is?

Sent from my LG-M700 using Tapatalk

So what did you do to get her offside