Parental rebukes: true tales of automotive abuse

[last fairlane]

Back in 1965 I wanted a Mk1 Zephyr convertable and I needed the oldie to
co sign with me to get finance
well she took one look and said
its only got one door and no roof so no way
well I didnt get it but wish I had one now
John

[351@GT]

a dad's mate always used to tell us not to crap in the nest when we we're playing silly buggers, not long after telling us he does a massive burnout in his own driveway in his ZH fairlane, whilst doing this his missus walks out hand on hips and the dirties look i've ever seen.

[Yaw]

Ok I got a bit of a double story with this one. It was not mine, it was actually my bosses (boss at the time) I was working as a small engine mechanic at the time for a company called "All Make Mowers" The store at strathpine was a big shed which backed onto a creek. I might add this IS an industrial area and zoned as such. The guy from the desiel fitting shed across the fence complained when my boss was "testing & tuning" his Datsun 1600 drag car. It was normally aspriated and pulled 12.75 down the 1/4. It was awesome for what it was. But this guy was not happy about it at all. The funniest part was when my boss got the ***** with him and went to do a big line lock, he lined it up down the driveway, revved it right up, gave it a bootful, and just about dumped the car down the creek because he did not take it out of reverse.

[ltd]

When at uni, I used to drive a mini moke (yeah, I know, it was a gift from my brother). Myself and a best mate were late for class and were driving probably a bit quick up the hill at Dobroyd Parade. Anyway, among other things the speedo in the moke didn't work so I sort of guessed how fast we were going. Peter my mate warned me of the cop, and before I realised he had stood up in his seat and dropped his pants in it's direction.
Long story short, a fine came in the mail a couple of weeks later and when quizzed, I just denied it all. My father having known better then requested the photo as proof (cost $10.00 at the time) as his son would never lie about such a thing. Sure enough, the photo arrived and my parents who were supportive of the greatest travesty in the history of justice all of a sudden confronted me upon my return home one day from classes. Having forgotten about all of it, my mother and father insisted on finding out 1/why was I speeding and, 2/why was that good boy who was always at church and a good influence showing his backside to the law? I wasn't allowed to drive for a month and my mum wouldn't have my best mate Peter in the house after that.

[BradZ]

Blew the diff in my Escort rally car, clutch drop at 8000rpm, pop. "How did that happen?" "I dont know i was just driving it normally mum" Effectively putting the car out of action for 4 months. Doh!

[needaXYGT]

thrashing my dads nice clean fairmont Ghia around a dirt road within hearing distance of him....got back to where it should've been parked with him waiting for me to arrive!

couple of years later, i took it for another spin on a dirt road and put it into a fence while scratching just about every panel on the car.

I'll never miss treat his cars again!

[Maggot]

A mate of ours would borrow his familys LTD, come pick us all up for some work on the school oval at night.. work through a tank of fuel.

One night.. security show up. trys to get out of there over the wrong part of the oval and crack.. the exhaust hits the curb and falls in half.. 351 with no exhaust is no fun when trying to sneak away.

Anyway.. parked up on a curb and fixed (by hand) in the darkness.. clean the wheel guards and push it back into the garage.. all good.

[Alby1]

Just before i bought my V8, Mum's like " don't get a bloody V8, you'll loose your license" Yeah, yeah, that ain't going to happen calm down.. I picked it up from Bathurst and drove it home to south Sydney area nice and careful, not once opening it up, including driving around Mt Panorama. Before i made it in to my driveway a mate calls me up" whatcha doing, Take us for a drive" With wife in the car and mate in the back i lost my licence for 3 months for using all of 1st and 2nd. Mum's know best apparently

[sly_ba]

Years ago I went to pick up a Chinese exchange student from the airport at mums request. He didn't speak much English. I picked him up in a modified xr6 turbo, it was damp. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks but man I had some fun with that kid. Never had I laughed so hard in my life. He was literally praying in the passenger seat. Mum found out and boy did I cop it. She didn't ask me to drop him off.......

[kingyxr8]

sold my brand new mazda 323 astina sp20 for a 1974 datto 1200 ute.... with stock 1200cc motor in it... Came home with it parents went off how i had a car with aircon electrics etc etc etc to a car that struggles to get up the drive way... anyway i took it down to a mates house away from the oldies and in a period of 2 weeks we placed a sr20det motor in it with a hidden front mount... got it back all engineered etc etc etc .. but in those 2 weeks the old man was like where is ya piece of **** car .. i told him its in for a service and parts for a 74 model are hard ... he belived me...
he wanted me to take him down to the local tab in the piece of **** LOL .. well i booted it and he shat him self.. and asking me what that WOOOSSSHHHTTTT noise was... a simple thats the aircon dad he belived me..... btw it ran a 10.6sec pass out at eastern creek...

[Road_Warrior]

This thread =

Originally Posted by pottery beige

about 18 of them... all on the front lawn........

Christ that's like a bad dream come true...I bet explaining that to the oldies was harrowing.

[pottery beige]

Originally Posted by Road_Warrior

This thread =



Christ that's like a bad dream come true...I bet explaining that to the oldies was harrowing.

man they were on the doorstep in like 5mins... i just done a quick squirt around block and was putting tools away when mum was like.. theres someone out the front for you DH.... i waltzed out to a wall of blue... Ooofack... they were pretty cool about it.. old mum didnt hold back after they left tho... hahahaha

[Ryan]

My old man managed to send a 186 through the radiator of a HR ute when he was younger by slamming it into reverse.

[Falc'man]

Originally Posted by Road_Warrior

The rebuke was hard and fast: "That's no way to treat a motor car!!" he yelled at me.

Haha that's gold. Good thread.

I copped a whack from the older brother when I got back from a trip to Ballina from Sydney. The problem was we took off about 10pm one night without telling anyone.

Best drive ever, the 260z did not disappoint.


But then dad had some questions...

Dad: Did you check the spare?
Me: No.
Dad: Did you check the jack?
Me: No.
Dad: Did you check the water or oil?
Me: No.
Dad smiles, shakes head and says "I'm glad you're okay. Take precaution next time."

[Interceptor]

copped it for ages from dad after i bought the sprint, he was allways asking me when i was gonna grow up and get a "sensible" car......

the he bought his 4th motorbike, a '97 Suzuki TL 1000S, and his first words to me were
"its the '97 model without the speed limiter".....
umm..... whats the '98 limited to?
"297"
"and you're worried about the speed limiter?????"

funny how he hasnt said anything about my poor driving behaviour apart from when i overtook him heading home on his birthday...... apparently a windsor at 4.5k in 4th gear sounds good!

[ryan2991]

Few different ones that make me laugh ...

1) Woke up at 7am, 5 minutes later was in my dads car while he was away driving a mate to the station, reversed down the drive-way and it slid down and hit the dirt on the side. Put it in drive and flogged it, huge skid, dust and mud everywhere... Problem was car didn't move. We run a business and none of the vans could get out of the driveway. I got one of the blokes to ring him up, wasn't keen myself. RACV got it out after 30 minutes or so... bottum left of the bumper was bent in half. The suprising bit... upon inspection he laughs and said don't worry about it. Joy

2) Drove my mums camry, not abused but not well looked after. Drove out of a driveway on a very wet day onto a steep incline, music was up a decent amount, wondering why I have no power with my foot to the floor and realise I've been ripping a skid (or hardly) in it for about 100 metres. Gave it back, auto was flaring and handbrake was broken... not guilty.

3) Constantly getting it about my car being too low other than that my little sister tells me to drive safe. She is 8 and somehow managed to work out that I have the same car that those boys ran into a tree just up the road (Mill Park)

[uranium_death]

My old man doesn't like the way I drive.
Mind you, he likes to look at houses on the side of the road, and then slam on the brakes, missing the car in-front my a small margin.
That, or he likes to go medievil on the brake pedal where he slams it down, then lets go, slams it again, lets go etc. because he can't make up his mind whether to go or not...

Yeah, not very interesting. I don't hoon or speed or do any of that exciting (and ILLEGAL - on the roads) crap.

[70caprigt3k]

Theres been way too many too remember all of them but heres a good one.

I was heading out somewhere in my old XR8 (twin 2.5" exhaust, head work, cam, it was pretty damn loud) and i get to the end of my 2k long road turn right and punch it which predicably ended up in alot of wheel spin and noise, next thing i get a phone call from my old man which went like:

Me: Whats up?
Dad: Settle the hell down!
Me: Huh?
Dad: I just heard you, don't be stupid!
Me: Ok, seeya

Anyways about another 2k down the road i turn onto a big main road which requires me to get up to speed quickly right? more noise and a hell of alot of wheelspin was the result. Then my phone rang.

Me: Yeah?
Dad: I CAN STILL *********G HEAR YOU!

I just laughed uncontrollably and he gave up after that.

[El Jay]

I was driving home one day and it happened that Mum was going to arrive home just before me. The problem with this is that our carport could only fully fit one car. So while she was sitting a few cars ahead at the lights, when we went around the corner I went to overtake her, but being young I overtook her a little too enthusiastically ;)
She smiled and shook her head, but at least the Falcon got cover

[seduced_xr]

i got yelled at for getting on the brake in dads 2 day old FG XR, neighbours were not happy at all lol... i was wondering whether it was a single spinner or not..

[Alby1]

Originally Posted by seduced_xr

i was wondering whether it was a single spinner or not..

Understandable

[pottery beige]

much LOL's in this thread..... hahahaha..

[T1 Terry]

Many moons back, took the mates bike out for a bit of fun 2 up, it was unregistered so I used the plates off my bike which was off the road. Came down through a radar trap on the freeway going very quick, decided not to stop and continued on to the mates house. Get a phone call from mum that the police came to visit with stories of me doing insane speeds along the expressway with a passenger on the back. She told the officers that I may have been a lot of things but a magician wasn't one of them, took them to the garage to show them the bike in bits. She told them they must have made a mistake reading the number plate, quite understandable if the bike they were looking for was travelling at high speed, they had even got the colour wrong. The officers asked where I was and she told them I was at an Army Reserves training camp for the weekend.
After thanking her very much she added, this means of course that you can't come home this weekend and you owe me big time. What she didn't tell me was the uncle and aunty were also visiting for the week, they arrived not long before I returned home and did I ever cope an earful from the uncle for the next week, coppers that are also uncles can be real pain in the a*sre some times, but very helpful sometimes as well.

T1 Terry

[grandpa_spec_F6]

My first car was a VK commodore, and in usual fashion we were working on it and decided it needed a test drive by some paddock bashing in the park over the road. There I am, hooting along sideways, grass and sticks and crap flying everywhere, flew back towards my house and shot over the road, took a quick glance right and saw my mortified girlfriend at the times parents coming back from church!

Boy did I get a dressing down when I went round to see her :S

[dave289]

Back in 1986 when I was 16 and in year 10 at school my mates old man had just taken delivery of one brand new vl turbo. he was an entertainer and would often be out to 4 or so in the morning,then come home and sleep most of the day. anyway it was school holidays and I was still in bed early one morning when my mate shows up at my window telling me he has his old mans vl out the front. so I jump out of bed and jump in the drivers seat of the vl and took it for a good run, boy did it go ,very good back in its day.we eventually got back to my place and then my mate drove it home. Next day he shows up again but he decides he wants to drive today so I was just a passenger. anyway hes giving it a good blast and then we approach a corner, he decides to do put it sideways very hard into the corner, we fishtale one way then it snaps back hard the other ways and hits the gutter sideways etremely hard, some people came out for a look so we had to hit it out of there, with the car feeling stuffed we drove a few hundred meters and got out to check the damage. I walked to the the rear of the car and bent down for a look ,he had moved the diff at least half a foot from where it should have been. on one side the wheel was rubbing against that rear guard and on the other it was afoot away from the guard,it felt absolutely shocking to drive, he reckoned we would change the spare and it might be better ,I told him he was dreaming,anyway I think we changed the wheel which made no difference, and then limped home, he returned the car to the driveway and then put the padlock back on the t bar and came back to my place. later that day his old lady rings up looking for him and knows whats happened,I think he copped a major flogging from the old man over that one.

[FTE72]

When I was about 15, I had a 4 door HQ GTS that I was fixing up to get on the road for when I had my L's. Had just finished putting 308 back in after a freshen at one of the old mans' mates places where all the work was being done. Was late on a Sunday and no one was around, so I decide a test drive is called for . Bit of circle work and some "rear tyre excess rubber removal techniques" TM.
All good, car goes back in the shed, I go home smiling and thinking I got away all sweet.
Couple of days go by, then on the Wednesday after I get home from school, the old man hands me a wad of cash. I am of course wondering what it was for and had already spent some in my head, when he tells me "Sold that car of yours for you boy" "I think you should stay out of a V8 until you grow a brain"
Shattered...

[Fev]

Oooooo OUCH!!!

[KYSBF]

Not really a parental rebuke......
Going back a few years now, mucking around in the bush out near Crows Nest in a mates early 80s Hi-Lux. Typical bush bashing, throwing it around sideways, scandanavian flicks etc etc, having the fun before we got down to business chopping firewood. Anyway we get down to business of cutting fire wood, before we load the old jigger up, Gaz (the driver) decides we should have a last thrash. Needless to say this was also the wildest, so here we are going round and round getting covered in red dust, not being able to see **** when whoomp!! Backwards into a strainer post, well it pushed the tray forwards into the back of the cab, popped both doors open, but didn't break back window. Gaz who is fairly laid back was not too concerned.........bit of a sight to see two lads in a hi-lux ute loaded up with about a ton of firewood on a tray that sat at about 30 degrees to the chassis, doors roped shut and both sitting with elbows on dash!!

[Revolver]

Well mines a son rebuke.

2003: dad buys me a ZF Fairlane, on gas for $500. From the moment he drove it in the driveway, I knew I didnt want it. I could just tell it was going to be a bomb.

He said "this your car",
Me - "um dad, I dont mean to be ungrateful, but I dont want it, I like the XF, this thing doesnt look reliable"
Dad - " Mate the XF isnt going to last much longer, but if you feel that way, I'll drive it, & leave the Chrysler in the shed".

So after about 12 months of intermitently driving it, the 'box started to go, & dad decided that the XF would become the donor car. The 'box came out from the XF, the head was used from it, shocks, tires etc. but that wasn't the half of it.

So i had to start driving it. Everytime I braked, it pulled to the right, the gearstick was as loose as a goose. Because the throttle cable went over the engine to the carby, the plastic melted, causing the throttle to Jam open - 3 times. The handbrake Jammed on, The engine was dying, so it got changed out from yet another donor car. There were numerous other problems with it. All causing me to wind up calling dad to come rescue me, usually on my way home from work at about midnight, 70ks away. Not once did I repeat that it was unreliable. 2 months after the engine change, I'd had enough. RIGHT, I'm gonna buy my own fairlane.

2005:Enter the Blue Beast, 94 NCII V8 on gas. The night before I was meant pick it up the old fazza only had to last ONE MORE 70k trip to go. Then the throttle jammed open again.

Then came that phone call - "Dad the throttle jammed open again". So he pulled another old one out from an earlier fairlaine, & wound up driving it home with the throttle clenched between the grips of a pair of pilers DUCT TAPED together. Using his left hand to use the throttle.

I took delivery of my fairlane, & its only given me 2 problems in 5 years. Dad also bought a NA which packed up a year later. So I bought dad his very own 94 NCII V8. Only a few months build between us. Its only given him trouble once, other than that 4 years of trouble free service. Hes not an emmotional fella, but a year ago, he told me it the best car he's ever had, started crying & gave me a hug. Needless to say a gave the awkward ?? pat on his back. So now whenever I see him in it, I smile, cause I proved him wrong & he doesnt even realise it....

Yeah funny that, probably the only tale that proves: Dad's dont always know whats best....

[Aulpgute]

Back in 1985-1986 as a P plater my dad would let me take his Commodore VH Group 3 SS out on the odd occasion with the girlfriend. Was an awesome car at the time with T-5 manual, Wade cam etc etc. I could never work out how he knew when I used to drive it hard as I always used to top it up with fuel and never sprayed rubber up the guards etc. Was only in recent years he enlightened me that when I used to launch it hard off the line the windscreen washer fluid would siphon out of the jets leaving a small tell tale water mark at the bottom of the windscreen below the wiper blades on his always immaculately washed car......cant teach an old dog new tricks! lol