Warning for your kids using face book

[PepeLePew]

I have my own stories of our 15yr old daughter I'd share in a quieter place, but not here.

Problem with kids this age is they DONT learn easily. Learning is short circuited by emotion and/or hormones. Many are easily led, sucked in with all the right words (love, pretty, beautiful, sexy) and WILL travel under the radar if undetected. They form attachments they themselves dont even understand. Children in many cases are becoming more remote emotionally, all the PS2, Xbox, DS games, TV shows etc have them living in their own little worlds and often disconnected from real friendship. The hand held out is go easily grasped and usually puts no foot wrong in drawing them in....

Then the reality hits on meeting.

But often, they interpret that too and see it in a entirely different way than the parent understands it. I am thankful you caught your issue early. We have constant internet monitoring for ours, but its so easy for something to slip through or you get busy and.....its so hard to watch everything single thing they do. And read every single thing they type.

So many kids are on Facebook now, and many are just fine. Sensible well adjusted kids. But there are those that yearn for attention and you dont even see it until its over. The fantasy that is the perfect person on FB is often so much more attractive than the reality of the children around them.

EEK sorry if that was a bit of a unload, our experience is quite recent. I've said enough anyway.

[DBourne]

Great post Pepe..

[pauljh74]

Simple rules for ANYONE (child or adult) making new friends online.

*Set up a separate webmail address to sign up to Facebook etc. I have 3 - one is my primary e-mail, second I use to give to businesses for signups and a 3rd for typical signups where they just spam you. I got tired of checking my mail and 2 of the 10 on my main account were personal e-mails, the rest spam. If you meet a bunny boiler (psycho woman) who won't take the hint - it is easier to ignore your spam account or simply stop using it. I've got Gmail, Yahoo and Hotmail accounts - Gmail rules, Hotmail sucks - guess which one I use for what.

*You start exchanging e-mails via your spam account and the person seems cool and you want to meet. The only phone number you give initially is your mobile, never the landline. Do not give them your home address and for the first meeting at least, make it somewhere in public. Don't accept a lift home afterwards either - that is giving them your address. You may bring a friend or family member along to briefly meet them as well, so they know who you are with. The friend can then go, or stalk you both at a distance if you're paranoid. In the case of a 14 year old girl meeting someone genuinely of similar age, you might find their parent turns up too to meet this new friend.

Obviously as you get to know the person, you give them more information. This should not happen before you meet face to face.
I've met girls via dating sites - a girl I ended up dating for a year - before the first date her mother had my name and phone number should her 28 year old daughter not return. We met at Crown cinemas and she made her own way in and home.

I'm the opposite of the typical vulnerable person in that I'm male, in my 30's and over 6 foot tall - but certainly don't groom young girls online. But I am reluctant to hand over my details - to potential dates - they could be playing you. Girl goes on date with you, her associate robs your house. It is an outside chance.

Another forum had a dating thread - the guy says how he turns up at the house and overhears her and her brother talking about the gear in his house. It wasn't their first date. He walks away, calls a neighbour who is a cop to watch the house. Goes on the date, gets a phone call from the mate telling him they got the guy and then he says nothing to his date, excuses himself and leaves her with the bill 80kms from home with no car. Next time he saw her was in court.

To sum it up, children are not the only ones who make themselves vulnerable if they don't guard their information. To the OP, doesn't matter if your daughter is 14/24/34 - most of these tips would keep her safer.

[4Vman]

Without wanting to sound critical of the OP at all probably the best way to have handled this one was alert the police and not the impostor..
That way they could have apprehended them and found out their motive, and who knows, they might have been harmless.. and if not probably stopped someone else becoming a potential victim..

[pauljh74]

Originally Posted by sgt_doofey

Another example that shows that the supposed internet filter won't work, unless they block Facebook too. It's supposed to protect the children, but wouldn't stop these sorts of things from happening. Scrap the filter and ramp up educating the parents and children!

The filter will not stop kids chatting via internet chat to some dirty old man posing as a 15 year old girl. It also won't make any difference to the circulation of kiddie porn which it is meant to stop as most of it doesn't get transferred via HTTP/websites. It travels via private networks or P2P.

[glavas]

i dont understant this facebook? my girlfriend uses it all the time? do people realy car what people comments are and photos of other people? if i want to talk to someone ill make a phone call to a landline.

[TUF_302]

Personally i think spacebook should be banned, whats wrong with making real friends??

[Romulus]

Originally Posted by TUF_302

Personally i think spacebook should be banned, whats wrong with making real friends??

I agree. What's wrong with face to face communication?

I don't use facebook but that's because I subscribe to the conspiracy theory that everything put up there becomes public information. Fancy putting your address, phone number, where you've been/are going etc
Talk about an easy way to rob your house when you're not there and so forth.

Rather than blaming the imposter shouldn't we take responsibility for our own actions?

[Riksta]

Originally Posted by TUF_302

Personally i think spacebook should be banned, whats wrong with making real friends??

The thing is, 90% of my Facebook friends are people I know in real life, I see in real life, and communicate regularly. The other few are people I know off the net in the US.

I find it to be a great tool to organise things.

However, I can see the "evil" side of it as per the original post.

[Franco Cozzo]

Be careful what you type on Facebook also, I was stupid enough to write something about management at work and someone ratted me out.

[Iggypoppin']

Originally Posted by 4Vman

Without wanting to sound critical of the OP at all probably the best way to have handled this one was alert the police and not the impostor..
That way they could have apprehended them and found out their motive, and who knows, they might have been harmless.. and if not probably stopped someone else becoming a potential victim..

I'm no legal expert, but isn't that technically entrapment? Still, despite what any lawyer would say, we all know what the guy is doing is wrong...I think people like this, who trap young girls, deserve a good "punishment".
4VMan, you are morally correct, and what you've said, I would do the same, but in the back of my mind, it's so much more satisfying to put the sickos in their place...

[TheInterceptor]

Originally Posted by GT Falcon

I agree. What's wrong with face to face communication?

I don't use facebook but that's because I subscribe to the conspiracy theory that everything put up there becomes public information. Fancy putting your address, phone number, where you've been/are going etc
Talk about an easy way to rob your house when you're not there and so forth.

Rather than blaming the imposter shouldn't we take responsibility for our own actions?

Exactly right, what makes sombody post up their life story and all their details? If you read the terms and conditions of facebook, it even tells you that they will use your info as they wish and whatever you put up becomes their property and they will do whatever they like with it.

[Iggypoppin']

Originally Posted by TheInterceptor

Exactly right, what makes sombody post up their life story and all their details? If you read the terms and conditions of facebook, it even tells you that they will use your info as they wish and whatever you put up becomes their property and they will do whatever they like with it.

Very few under 18's(actually, anybody) reads the "fine print". Convenient, and it means that there are no legal repercussions from disgruntled users.

[onfire]

Originally Posted by STANI

why do 14 year olds go on websites that are meant for adults?

Why does my sicko cousin allow, in fact insist her 7 and 9 year olds have facebook accounts.

Ironically they don't have any friends from their age group. It's crazy and disturbing a mother could be so blindly stupid.

[pottery beige]

Face book is a peddo's paradise....

[Dodge]

my apprentice went home to his gf last month, when i found her she had hung herself , no reason, no warning , a very pretty girl who was a victom of internet bullying , keep ur kids off chat sites until they can have a adult conversation or dribble about fords

[BENT_8]

Facebook..the anti-social network of the era.

we didnt have facebook when i was a teen, we had 27meg CB radios and i can tell you there was just as much chance of getting yourself into trouble then as you do with FB now.
I remember the first time i picked up the mic. my sister owned the radio and gave me the run down on the etiquette before i pulled the trigger.

Dont give out your surname, address etc. etc.
Only use your handle for identification.

Sure we had get togethers (eye balls we called them) with annonymous people too and only then did you make a judgement on how much the other person got to know about you.

i tend to agree with the people who believe the onus is on parents to educate the kids of the dangers before they throw their hat in the FB ring.

[JACK250]

Originally Posted by TUF_302

Personally i think spacebook should be banned, whats wrong with making real friends??

That's like saying why talk in AFF's bar when you can go down your local... I am quick to admit there is a problem, but reality is that this is the age we live in... If facebook is banned, there will be a new site within 10 minutes, the digital age means your 14 year old daughters will know about the site instantly, and when it's blocked they are already onto something new.

It's like porn... Last generation (or even my younger years, and I'm only 17) you were lucky to see a stick mag. You now have all manner of horrible things right at your fingertips, and that's just the age we live in. This kids have grown up with the internet, and will dance around filters if they have the will - I know that's what everyone does at school, when there's a will there's a way.

I'm the first to admit this is causing huge problems, and it's definitely difficult to see a solution. In my opinion it's 100% the responsibility of the parent, while it's not ideal circumstance it's now the role of the parent to educate their children on the things they are likely to see on the internet.

While I'm not going to have a go at the original poster's daughter or his upbringing of her, I find it astounding a 14 year old could believe such a thing... But then again I remember at similar age I was tricked by a girl claiming to be someone other than who they appeared to be. I think the key is trusting the child, so they respect you (eg. if they go to a party, give them a couple of drinks, teach them to drink in moderation) and by having the respect of the child they are more likely to communicate with you on these sort of issues, rather than just doing the teenage 'p iss off it's my life' type of thing and rebelling just because they feel you've been too hard on them.

[Green X]

scary stuff, perhps set the security settings so her profile is private, will make it allot harder for stuff like this to happen as then she has to make the contact not the otherway round.

[Jim Goose]

Originally Posted by Iggypoppin'

I'm no legal expert, but isn't that technically entrapment? Still, despite what any lawyer would say, we all know what the guy is doing is wrong...I think people like this, who trap young girls, deserve a good "punishment".
4VMan, you are morally correct, and what you've said, I would do the same, but in the back of my mind, it's so much more satisfying to put the sickos in their place...

Umm no its not.
Police across Australia troll the internet chat rooms posing as teenage girls.
They let the guy talk to them first and eventually the guy suggests they meet.
Its not entrapment at all.

The poster shouldve called the Police and they wouldve gotten someone to trace who this "Megan" actually was and arranged to meet up with him.

It wouldve gotten a sicko of the net.
Was it reported to Police? No?
Why not?

I cant understand why people always fail to report crime or alleged crime or important info to Police. What about all the other teenage Facebook users out there who are targets of this person?

[JACK250]

To be fair the guy has just had a huge potential threat to his daughter, I don't think anyone could say they'd be thinking the way they usually do at that time...

[uranium_death]

As an internet user, I am surprised you were not aware of the blatant danger and the reality of it.

It's good that you intervened as soon as possible, but in my opinion, children should not be allowed near online chatrooms or social sites because children will believe what they like to hear all too often.

Not sure where the computer is, but a basic rule should be that the computer is always in sight of an adult, and NOT in the child's room (which has been an upward trend for years now). The door must also always be open. These were tips given by 'experts', but practically, they make good sense because they make it easier for a parent to monitor their child's online surfing.

Basic rules; nobody important will ever contact you online for your details. Therefore, never give them out.

I think Facebook is a great social networking site and if it was only useable at home, it would be great. However, how can you monitor what a child does if they use it at school, the library, a friend's place etc?
Stories of paedophiles snaring children in a trap of lies have been to common for years.

I would definitely tell the school of this event and to have teachers manning all exit points of the school, and to be on the lookout for suspicious cars hanging in the area.

[ST]

This kind of thing makes you want to pretend you are a 14 year old girl on Facebook and meet up with some famous celebrities. They'd probably be disappointed with who turns up, but i'm sure they'd be happy to sign a few autographs for my mates that just happen to work at the local police station.

[SVD]

i just use the facebook games to kill time when i am so bored i feel like shooting myself...
Other than that, the site is just garbage (im 19years old im not an oldie yet :P)

I personally feel when it comes to crimes like these ones (cyber stalking/solicitation of a minor etc...) then entrapment laws shouldn't count/

[GTP owner]

Great warning, so thanks for that - i posted it on my facebook page too!
Pepe has it right too - talk to your kids, encourage them to have real-live friends that they can have around for sleepovers and play with. I have an 10 year old who is active on the net, but we guide and monitor her. We also have family discussions with our 6,8 and 10 year old about this kind of thing, as well as taking suggestive photos of yourself and texting them your boyfriend, and why this is not good. Kids can be smart if you let them work it out, but with your guidance. They can see how nude photos can go a long way from where they start, and how the person they are talking to is not really who they think.
So i say thanks for bringing this kind of thing out into the open.

[DBourne]

Originally Posted by Iggypoppin'

I'm no legal expert, but isn't that technically entrapment?

No such law in australia

[LTDHO]

If you don't like FB or see the reason for it, that's OK. Just go back under your rock and shut out the outside world.

If it wasn't for FB, I wouldn't have caught up with old friends, school mates, etc. I wouldn't know what they are up to, etc. The girls all have new last names so it would have been very hard to find them.

FB is a social gold mine. If you are interested in keeping in tough with friends and family (especially overseas), the FB is the answer. I now speak to my family in England for free all the time now.

[PepeLePew]

A recent notice home from our younger kids primary school a whole page about bullying on Facebook...but the important part was pointing out to parents that Facebook have it in their T&C's (which nobody of course reads) that under 13's are excluded from the site. Which is virtually everyone at the school. Parents need a serious education in what these types of sites are and the risks involved. (though obviously the OP isnt in the uneducated group). No worse than driving by a primary school and winding the window down, just a helluva lot easier for the 'wrong' types of people to wind them in. Whatever happened to 'dont speak to strangers'. First thing your mum teaches you....

[Geez Louise]

It is not just younger teenage kids falling for this.

Bush hunt for missing Facebook teen

Childlike innocence used to be a wonderful thing...not anymore!

[MNM96]

Originally Posted by iliov

No offense but your child doesnt seem too bright...

With an attitude like that, how did you get such a high reputation.



OH hang on, I see!