Moments that make you take a step back

[Jestr75]

WOW, so many people have been affected in so many ways. My hat is off to all of you guys and girls!

I am lucky enough to have three gorgeous and healthy kids but what really hit home for me was 2 events. The first was going to my 5 day old niece's funeral and seeing that little casket being lowered into the ground and the second was work related (hope the link works) where you realize just how quickly life can change.
http://youtu.be/4OOg7vL3rNY
Language warning for the video

[SEZ213]

Originally Posted by Jestr75

WOW, so many people have been affected in so many ways. My hat is off to all of you guys and girls!

I am lucky enough to have three gorgeous and healthy kids but what really hit home for me was 2 events. The first was going to my 5 day old niece's funeral and seeing that little casket being lowered into the ground and the second was work related (hope the link works) where you realize just how quickly life can change.
http://youtu.be/4OOg7vL3rNY
Language warning for the video

Holy cow! He walked away with 'minor' injuries only? I guess it was his lucky day...

[Sam_Boss260]

Couple of moments for me...

Obviosuly when when both my kids were born - just unbelievable moments that you simply cannot explain.

And then two moments with my elderley parents. The moment that the doctor told us that dad had bowel cancer.... will never forget that night. He pulled through like a champion and is still with us 4 years down the track. And the last is when the doctors told us mum had 48 hours to live as her kidnies were shutting down. Truely character building stuff as we had to make the most of our time with mum. That was a few weeks ago, and she is still holding on but geez it is hard.

Everything else is just minor when you compare it to life and death really.....

[grandpa_spec_F6]

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

...And the last is when the doctors told us mum had 48 hours to live as her kidnies were shutting down. Truely character building stuff as we had to make the most of our time with mum. That was a few weeks ago, and she is still holding on but geez it is hard.

Everything else is just minor when you compare it to life and death really.....

Been in your shoes earlier this year with my grandfather.

At 90 years old he managed 2 weeks with his body shutting down on him, a trooper till the very end and even though I miss him very much, I feel so darn blessed that I got to say goodbye.

The funny blighter was still cracking jokes with my old man, and it made me realise you've got to enjoy life, right till the very end

All the best mate, hope you and your family are doing ok

[Fireblade]

Watching a mate flip his canoe on the river while on a holiday with a few mates, and then finding him 15 mins later down the river drowned at the age of 17, and then watching his mum jump on the casket as it was being lowered into his grave at his funeral. Hoping as a parent I never experience this.

Watching my Mum struggle and suffer with Multiple Sclerosis and then pass away from the Flu over a 13 year period starting from the year I started High School. This triggered severe depression for many many years.

Both of these moments put my life in perspective, I don't care for arguments or violence, I don't care for day to day trivial BS, I'm here to have a good life and do things that make me happy, the Birth of my Son being the ultimate joy I have ever had.

[vanman_75]

The birth of both my daughters , one about to make me a granddad at 36 , and the other that only got to spend 4 hours with me 2 years ago ,in gods hands now , life is truly trying at times and overwhelming at others .

[fordomatic]

Wow some truely moving moments on here.
2 moments have really made me think about life
the first being losing my dad when i was 15 to malenomas. we found out 3 months before he passed away. watching him deteriorate over that time as a teenager was heartbreaking. being the eldest of four siblings and trying to be there for them and not worry about myself was very hard. mum was certainly in no shape to do anything at that stage.

the second for me was deploying to Afghanistan. i used to save all my money and not really enjoy life and make the most of spare time. but a few incidents over there made me realise that life is too short and you need to take advantage of every moment. i realised if i died at that moment they wouldn't talk about how much money i had in the bank they would talk about what kind of person i was and what i have achieved in my life. since then i have traveled alot all over the world, enjoying life and making the most of every spare moment i have. i think vanman 75 said it perfectly:

"life is truly trying at times and overwhelming at others"

[|Nate]

Seeing my mother on life support because both of her lungs collapsed from some uncommon type of pneumonia. It made me really cherish every second she is in my life and how fragile it is.

[The Yeti]

Originally Posted by Jestr75

The first was going to my 5 day old niece's funeral and seeing that little casket being lowered into the ground

Mate that would just do my head in, kids are just well yea you get the idea

As I said in my first post on this topic I've dealt with some messy stuff with my job in the fire brigade. but the biggest thing that made me think O #### now what was the day before fathers day last year, my wife and kids and I & my sisters husband and kids all met at mum and dads place for a Saturday afternoon BBQ mum and the girls were having a glass of wine and bi7ching about the guys and my brother in law and I were having a beer and talking crap, you know the usual family get together thing, dad was due home from work any moment (he had his own work shop so he worked every Saturday) when mum last spoke to him at around 11 he only had a service to finish and the customer was coming at 12 pick it up then he was going to drop the door and come home but when we got to mum & dads at 2 he still wasn’t home, we didn’t think any thing of it, because if some one had dropped in with a problem he wouldn’t have turned them away but at 2.30 mum rang to give him a rev up, but the work shop phone rang out, (we thought, no big deal he must have left already), so we carry on talking 3.00 he still wasn’t home so we tried his mobile (he was a shocker for running out of petrol) but it rang out so we figured the silly bugger left his phone in his bag in the boot so he couldn’t hear it, no problems he can’t be far off now his shops only 20mins from home, at 3.30 we still hadn’t seen him or heard from him, so as not to cause any concern I told mum I was ducking up the street for some beer and went to look for him.

I figured he had probably broken down or ran out of petrol so I went back over the way he used to travel hoping to find him. I got to his shop his falcon was out the front and the floor was freshly swept and nothing on the hoist, I turned in to his office and found the man who I most admired in the world on the floor, not breathing, no pulse, I called 000 and commenced CPR the paramedics arrived in what seemed like less than a minute, they gave him a shock, pupils fixed and dilated nothing, there he was, the man who thought me every thing I know and made me the man I am today, laying lifeless on the floor of the workshop we started together 10 years earlier.

And then the phone rang, the paramedics were doing their thing, silly me still answered the phone with XXXXX Automotive, it was mum, as I wasn’t back inside 10mins from the bottolo she new something was up so she asked my wife what was going on. How do you tell your mum over the phone that you had just found your dad and her husband of over 45years dead on the ground? So what did I do? When she asked what’s going on? I just answered. Dads dead, hardly a way to brake it to her.

Now I’ve seen plenty of people both before and since who have passed away and managed to maintain a (I think) a good balance of compassion and professionalism, but I tell you now that’s a sight I doubt I will ever forget

[Sam_Boss260]

Originally Posted by The Yeti

Mate that would just do my head in, kids are just well yea you get the idea

As I said in my first post on this topic I've dealt with some messy stuff with my job in the fire brigade. but the biggest thing that made me think O #### now what was the day before fathers day last year, my wife and kids and I & my sisters husband and kids all met at mum and dads place for a Saturday afternoon BBQ mum and the girls were having a glass of wine and bi7ching about the guys and my brother in law and I were having a beer and talking crap, you know the usual family get together thing, dad was due home from work any moment (he had his own work shop so he worked every Saturday) when mum last spoke to him at around 11 he only had a service to finish and the customer was coming at 12 pick it up then he was going to drop the door and come home but when we got to mum & dads at 2 he still wasn’t home, we didn’t think any thing of it, because if some one had dropped in with a problem he wouldn’t have turned them away but at 2.30 mum rang to give him a rev up, but the work shop phone rang out, (we thought, no big deal he must have left already), so we carry on talking 3.00 he still wasn’t home so we tried his mobile (he was a shocker for running out of petrol) but it rang out so we figured the silly bugger left his phone in his bag in the boot so he couldn’t hear it, no problems he can’t be far off now his shops only 20mins from home, at 3.30 we still hadn’t seen him or heard from him, so as not to cause any concern I told mum I was ducking up the street for some beer and went to look for him.

I figured he had probably broken down or ran out of petrol so I went back over the way he used to travel hoping to find him. I got to his shop his falcon was out the front and the floor was freshly swept and nothing on the hoist, I turned in to his office and found the man who I most admired in the world on the floor, not breathing, no pulse, I called 000 and commenced CPR the paramedics arrived in what seemed like less than a minute, they gave him a shock, pupils fixed and dilated nothing, there he was, the man who thought me every thing I know and made me the man I am today, laying lifeless on the floor of the workshop we started together 10 years earlier.

And then the phone rang, the paramedics were doing their thing, silly me still answered the phone with XXXXX Automotive, it was mum, as I wasn’t back inside 10mins from the bottolo she new something was up so she asked my wife what was going on. How do you tell your mum over the phone that you had just found your dad and her husband of over 45years dead on the ground? So what did I do? When she asked what’s going on? I just answered. Dads dead, hardly a way to brake it to her.

Now I’ve seen plenty of people both before and since who have passed away and managed to maintain a (I think) a good balance of compassion and professionalism, but I tell you now that’s a sight I doubt I will ever forget

That is a moving story. Thanks for the courage to type that. I think that my dad is still a dead set legend at nearly 80 years old, and I will crumble the day that he is not around.

I hope that you have a special beer in honour of your father this father's day.

[The Yeti]

Originally Posted by Sam_Boss260

That is a moving story. Thanks for the courage to type that. I think that my dad is still a dead set legend at nearly 80 years old, and I will crumble the day that he is not around.

I hope that you have a special beer in honour of your father this father's day.

thanks man

Ive made peace with the whole trying and failing to clutch start my dad thing, but dealing with loosing my dad well thats a work in progress

[Fireblade]

Originally Posted by The Yeti

thanks man

Ive made peace with the whole trying and failing to clutch start my dad thing, but dealing with loosing my dad well thats a work in progress

And always will be mate, been 10 Years this year since my Mum passed and I have struggled through it, my Dad and I have only just made peace together over the whole ordeal of it and the **** that came from it. My Dad and I are extremely close but it has always been hard for both of us to talk about Mum and those years of our lives, it still gets to me when we talk about it but its not as hard as it used to be..

[The Yeti]

Originally Posted by F6 FOON

And always will be mate, been 10 Years this year since my Mum passed and I have struggled through it, my Dad and I have only just made peace together over the whole ordeal of it and the **** that came from it. My Dad and I are extremely close but it has always been hard for both of us to talk about Mum and those years of our lives, it still gets to me when we talk about it but its not as hard as it used to be..

I'm hearing ya but there's otherstuff going on thats meens i need to accelorate it

[MO]

Originally Posted by The Yeti

I'm hearing ya but there's otherstuff going on thats meens i need to accelorate it

Don't rush it mate,do it properly so there are no regrets.
The other stuff is nowhere near as important as you getting your head around it and knowing you did it right.

[chamb0]

Heart goes out to those here who've lost that which they loved. My world as I knew it was changed forever just over 2 years ago when my young sisters were killed as we were caught up in the Feb 2009 bushfires. I've spent much time at the gravesides pondering and trying to make sense of pain in the world... I guess I've learnt a lot about human generosity and care in the time since and had a lot of my priorities shift. No easy answers to be found anywhere, but in the midst of a world of danger and complexity and hurry I think it's worth taking quiet moments to acknowledge the deep questions that such events provoke and see where they take you.

[Ben73]

Originally Posted by grandpa_spec_au

Now it's over to you all, what moments have made you take a step back?

GSAU

To be honest, Reading the replies this thread.

[FalconForce]

losing a good friend of mine in a motorbike accident very recently he was only 20 years old and a very smart kid and just one of those top blokes.

it hit me pretty hard i have made the decision to give life the biggest shot because you get one chance

[JC]

Originally Posted by b2tf

Im currently experiencing one of these 'moments' and have been doing so for the past week.

My fiancee left me a week ago today, its a bloody ordinary thing to deal with and it very much took me by surprise. I wont go into specifics but what I will say is that there are so many things I would do differently or not do altogether if I could take it all back. Easy to say now.

I am now in the middle of a huge dilemma as I have just been offered a dream job that will also mean I have to leave town - and leave her behind. I can't bring myself to do that just yet but there is a long way to go and I don't feel like I have any idea of what to do.

If you're in a relationship take a step back and look at things - take your partner out for a fantastic evening this Friday night like I wish I could with mine.

It's tough, but if you put distance between you it can do one of 3 things:

1. Make her realise she misses you (ie still loves you)
2. Make you realise you don't want/need her
3. Make you realise you miss her but can't do anything about it

You won't know which it will be until you take the step, but if it works out to be 1, and you still have the same feelings for her, or you're also at 3., then distance can be conquered (they have planes, trains, buses and cars for travelling on).

If you stay and nothing happens, you will look back one day and regret the time you wasted and the opportunity you missed. It's a hard one though....

[JC]

To answer the original question:

For me - many things - meeting my (then) future wife (been married 19 years now). Having our first pregnancy, and then losing it at 17 weeks, 3 weeks after a car accident (other driver ran a red). Then having our second pregnancy, only to be told same day it was ectopic and not viable. Then going 10 years with no luck in the baby stakes (we lived our life happily during that time, but looking back, I think we always felt there was something was missing). Then doing IVF and finding out first go was successful x 2 (twins). Then watching the boys being born. Then 11 months later finding out the missus was pregnant the natural way. Then his birth. Then a few years later my brother took his own life (still struggle with that one, and it's 3+ years ago). Then buying a supercharger and coming to the realisation that I have no idea what I'm doing, so buying a cheap car to practice on (ie suddenly at 42 I am becoming slightly sensible).

So, some traumatic events above, some great joyous events, and just a little thing that makes me realise we each learn every day, just sometimes we don't appreciate the learning until later!

To all those in this thread that have suffered pain or hurt at the hand or heart of another, or even through your own thoughts, actions or chemical make-up, or have lost family members or friends, either through tragedy or the circle of life, all our thoughts are with you, and time does heal, but it still hurts from time to time!

[93EB_SXR6]

I have too many of these stories for someone of my age.
I don't feel I can go into great detail with some of them but I'll list some of the worst - in no particular order.

Waking up to the police knocking on the door - older brother had been roughed up by bouncers at a nightclub - concussion/bleeding out the ear/was put into a coma. (all because he peeked over one of their shoulders to see if his girlfriend was ok).

Uncle diagnosed with multiple cancers, watching him fade away and die in agony. He fought for nearly two years, I had great respect for him.

Close friend killed herself when I was 15, I felt I could have prevented it.
I fell into a deep depression... don't want to go there right now.
It still haunts me daily.

A mate of mine hung himself when I was 17 - couldn't deal with family issues.
Once again I felt responsible.

Watching my Auntie fade away and die, her daughter didn't even give her the respect of dying in her own house. Trying to console my mother through it all.

Watching my other auntie slowly die, visiting her in hospital and being unable to recognise her.

My grandfather died of a sudden heart attack when I was a kid, he fought all night but to no avail. Broke my grandmother's heart. First time I saw my father cry.
I'd seen him earlier that day, it was surreal to me.

Dad's problems with his legs (was victim to a hit and run when he was 17). It causes him constant pain. I think about how lucky I am every single day to have the full use of my legs.

My Grandma fought with cancer for decades (she died when I was still quite young).

My great-grandmother had Alzheimers, dad did all he could - she was in a proper nursing home but he'd visit her all the time and drive her to all her specialist appointments; it was like a full-time job, her son could have done it in his place but he never complained. Massive respect for dad. I helped carry her casket, an odd feeling.

Never want to experience any of that again, but I know it is all part of life.
Anything that happens to me seems trivial in comparison.

[93EB_SXR6]

Originally Posted by b2tf

Im currently experiencing one of these 'moments' and have been doing so for the past week.

My fiancee left me a week ago today, its a bloody ordinary thing to deal with and it very much took me by surprise. I wont go into specifics but what I will say is that there are so many things I would do differently or not do altogether if I could take it all back. Easy to say now.

I am now in the middle of a huge dilemma as I have just been offered a dream job that will also mean I have to leave town - and leave her behind. I can't bring myself to do that just yet but there is a long way to go and I don't feel like I have any idea of what to do.

If you're in a relationship take a step back and look at things - take your partner out for a fantastic evening this Friday night like I wish I could with mine.

If you really think there is a chance, don't go.
Jobs will come and go! (some people will argue that women come and go).
Love is all about sacrifice.

I was offered a job in W.A. (from S.A.), it was a big dollar job for someone my age; ~$1200 a week before tax, living costs free [food, house, work clothes, etc]
I decided not to take it as I'd be leaving my gf of two-and-a-half years behind... I know I'm only a young bloke but I've got a lot of life experiences already and I know money alone will never bring you happiness.

Having said all that, sometimes you just have to let someone go... if they come back, you were meant to be, if not you never were.

Dealing with that will break you, (but) its how you rebuild yourself that counts.

I know I'm ranting here.

[The Yeti]

Opps ment to send it as a PM

[XR6_661]

Seeing my father break down and cry when I was 17.

Reason he broke down isn’t what made me take a step back though (wasn’t a death or anything horrible)…But seeing my dad like that, watching him try and fight it in front of me because he was embarrassed…Just gave him a big hug, it’s alright dad, never have I been closer to someone in my life.

[JG34JA]

The day my father passed; his body without animation, the unnatural eerie cold on a February morning, the perceptible heat above my head with nothing physical I could determine there shortly afterward; the feeling that 66 years was too short a time for such an excellent, caring, kind man of the world.

The birth of both my sons, the peace of these amazing little beings. The realisation that immortality is right there in front of you.

Nearly losing one son to type 1 diabetes, seeing the frailty of such a strong frame and being; seeing so close a shave with death, and being so thankful every day that men have created technology to extend his life.

Being out alone, a long way from shore on a very grey glassy day and the dorsal fin breaks the surface, heading right at me.

Looking up from my desk at a revolver being pointed in my face.

Watching my charts begin to point toward armageddon in late 2007 early 2008, knowing full well that crisis is on the way, and wondering what it will feel like to live through it, if I will be up to the challenge, knowing that something momentous will come to pass before it actually does.

[Mechan1k]

MO ... I really didn't know you have the Big C ... shocked to hear that. I recently lost an Aunt to it ... after she had been in remission for about 5 years.

I have had a few times where I have had moments that really make you think ... or stunned ... whatever.

I witnessed my Dad drop dead in front of me when I was 12 ... coronary heart attack ... I didn't know what to do at that age. Ambos failed to resuscitate him. I thought he was the healthiest/strongest man alive. I guess out of this I found I have the same issue and I know about it know and can control it/keep it in check before it's too late.

And recently 2 events that really really has a profound effect on me ... was marrying my wife ... and the birth of my son is up there as one of those experiences as well. The first time you get to hold your child is another feeling altogether. And watching them grow as well.

[MAD]

I've got nothing on what has been posted in this thread, a few of them have put a lump in my throat.

My moment was on a trip to Thailand and visiting a cemetary of fallen soldiers.
Walking through the rows, readng the occasional plaque didnt do it for me, it was the nameless one in amongst the others that got me. They'd given the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms yet they will never be named.

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by Mechan1k

...and the birth of my son is up there as one of those experiences as well. The first time you get to hold your child is another feeling altogether.

I remember I burst into tears when they first put my son on my wife and he was crying. Just hit me like a ton of bricks.

[The Yeti]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

I remember I burst into tears when they first put my son on my wife and he was crying. Just hit me like a ton of bricks.

how great is this moment, The first time I held both my kids are just moments that make you feel its great to be alive, watching them grow up is undescribeable, I look at both my kids and see they are growing in to great thoughtful people, the kind of people I am proud to call my son and daughter.

with all the negative 5hi7 in our lives this makes life worthwile

as another positive step back moment, a few years ago my grandmother passed away, (she was in her 90's so whilst a suprise it wasnt a shock) I was fighting with my aunts and uncles as I didnt think what was planed for her send of was befitting of a lady that led such an extrodanry life, I was researching things from her time during WW2 for the eulogy and as we do in these situations I cryed, my then 8yo son was sitting beside me and put his little 8yo arm arround 100+kg me and said its ok dad she lived her life right till the end so she'll be OK.

Actualy now Ive started on kids I could go all night

last year when I was going to view my dad before the funeral (most of the family wernt up for it but I needed to say good bye in a nicer setting) my daugher handed me a note as I walked in to the chapple it was a picture and a letter telling him how greater man he was.

The same day after the service we had a private ceramony at the crematorum and none of the other grand kids wanted to go but my youngest niece did, the sight of this 5yo girl with blond ringlet's in her hair carrying a big photo of my dad in to the chapple let me know that his memory will live on with his grand kids

I'm gonna stop waffeling in this thread now guys I think I have the highest post count in here

[Fireblade]

I still remember the first time I held my Son as vivid as if it happened 5 mins ago, and that was some 8 years ago now and his birth was the turning point of my life, he is my greatest acheivement to date and he keeps me going through the hard times, and it saddens me that my Mum wasn't here to see him grow or that my Son never got to meet or know his Grandma and how great she was. All special occasions are held with this sadness in my heart as I am proud of myself as a Father and ever so proud of my Son (Liam) and the person he is growing to be.

A proud moment for me was 2 weeks ago in his Footy teams first game for the season, his team had been down all game and he was moved to the forward line in the last quarter he managed to kick the winning goal and another sealer to win the game for them, so proud of my son that I had tears well up in the eyes while cheering loud and proud for him.

I seem to have a lot of these sorts of moments with him though, he is acheiving much greater things than I ever could as a kid and I am so proud of him for that.

[Mechan1k]

Originally Posted by F6 FOON

it saddens me that my Mum wasn't here to see him grow or that my Son never got to meet or know his Grandma and how great she was. All special occasions are held with this sadness in my heart as I am proud of myself as a Father and ever so proud of my Son (Liam) and the person he is growing to be.

I so know that feeling ... I lost my Father when i was younger ... and i keep thinking I wish he could be here to see/experience this. It is very saddening to think about it all of the time. Watching my son grow and learn new things all the time. It'll be a constant reminder as he keeps growing.