Favourite Family Guy quotes - Page 2

loxxr6 · 08-01-2005, 09:06 PM

It was on 11.30 but they stopped showing it a few days ago in Vic. I bought the first 2 series on DVD from JB Hi-Fi, they are fairly cheap and they are uncut. It also includes an episode that was banned from TV. Does anyone know how many series have been made so far.

Yep. 3 series before controversy over the humour and Fox changing the timeslot every week saw the ratings die and the show get cut. Luckily the dvd sales which skyrocketed saved the shows neck and there will be new episodes starting on US tv very soon.

Check www.fox.com/familyguy & www.planet-familyguy.com

Just buy the series on Ebay. I have the lot and they were reasonably priced too...def no more expensive than getting them here.

Paris Hilton · 08-01-2005, 10:27 PM

If you haven't seen this part then it might not make sence

Guy: Hey nice melons!
(Peter becomes mad)
Lois: Peter! I'm holdeng melons.
Guy: Hey, Nice hooters!
Peter: You;re in for it...
Lois: Peter, I'm holding hooters.

XRated · 16-06-2005, 02:48 PM

Peter: Holy Crip! It's a crapple!

Ahhhhh so many classics, I have series I on DVD but am resisting all temptation to buy the next two!

[Sorry for the mining expedition :P]

M14A-Mclaren · 16-06-2005, 03:03 PM

You guys seen American Dad? made by the same creator, its awesome.

"You like shaving your armpits Hayley? cause if the terrorists take over the country its the first thing to go!"

*Toasts pops up, then shoots the toaster

bindi · 16-06-2005, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chunkz

mum: here comes the brocolli plane
*brocolli on fork going to stewies mouth*

*stewie slaps it away*
stewie: DAM YOU, DAM THE BROCOLLI AND DAM THE WRIGHT BROTHERS
mum: your going to have to eat it some time
stewie: well we are going to have to sit here and rot, and i have a good 40 years on your woman
*mum shoves brocolli into stewies mouth whilst he is talking*

*stewie spits out brocolli and glares at mum*
stewie: who the hell do you think you are

My fave line? Stewie: "The Broccoli must die!"

I taped them all many years ago when they were on tv. Unfortunately we had a crappy antenna so some of the shows don't have the greatest reception so I am gonna have to buy them.

So rude, crude and bloody hilarious!

Also Brian (the dog) is a great character, but Stewie is the best :sm_headba

a-total-tool · 16-06-2005, 11:59 PM

2 good ones from the same episode:

HOTEL WORKER: I'm sorry, sir. You can't park your van on the diving board
LOIS: This is my son
HOTEL WORKER: I'm sorry maam. *screams loudly* Hey tom, he is not a van, he is just a fat kid.
PETER: Don't worry about him Chris. Do you want a soda? I'll get you a soda. Wait right here *puts a club lock between Chris's groin and shoulder*

MEG: wow Chris, did you lose weight?
CHRIS: ummm, maybe. I've been working out.
MEG: wow. you look wicked skinny. I'm like, jealous
CHRIS: Thanks Meg. I'm jealous of your moustache
MEG: I don't have a moustache, do I?
LOIS: Don't worry. It makes you look distinguished.

Walkinshaw · 17-06-2005, 12:10 AM

Ive been watching it for 3yrs, its the best show goin round PERIOD.

Quagmire: Hey meg 18 yet
Meg: No
Quagmire: Hows it goin Chris *Walks off*

Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!

Walkinshaw · 17-06-2005, 12:14 AM

On the phone
Chris: So ah....what are ya' wearing?
Chris: WOW! heheheh i bet you could see right through that
Lois: Chris who are you talking to?
Chris: (covers phone) Grandma.

MITCHAY · 17-06-2005, 12:20 AM

I like it when Quagmire walked into a the toilets and there was this little girl on the floor and he said "dear diary: JACKPOT!"

Also

Stewie: I'd love some ice cream... BUT NO SPRINKLES! .. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you.

Damo · 17-06-2005, 12:24 AM

Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.

Stewie's Letter: Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie.
P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever.
P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater.

Meg: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
Death: Well, that would just leave England.

Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
(Lois and Peter stare in silence)
Meg: I'm allergic to peanuts.
(Peter and Lois keep staring)
Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)
Peter: Who was that guy

Walkinshaw · 17-06-2005, 12:25 AM

(Peter is trying to potty train Stewie)
Peter: C'mon Stewie, don't you want to pee in the toilet like a big boy?
Stewie: Well, perhaps I could give it the old college try. Would you put your hands there on the toilet seat, it'll help me relax.
Peter: OK. (Slams toilet seat down on Peter's fingers.) AAAHHHHHH!!!!
Peter: Heh. Mabey you dont have to pee. Mabey I should just give you some beer, it goes right through you.
Stewie: Wonderful. And whilst were at it we can light up a doobie and watch porn.
Peter: ye, yeah?
Stewie: Listen you, I'll use these facilities when I'm DAMN WELL READY!!!! Untill then you shall continue to sanitize my crevice and be DAMN GRATFEUL FOR THE OPPORTUNITY!!! Starting right . . .hmmp. . . hmmmp. . . . .hmmmmmp well then, not now, BUT SOON! (Walks off.)

Walkinshaw · 17-06-2005, 12:31 AM

News report

Tom: And now Part 2 of our very own asian corospondand Trisha Takanawa's special report on Sex.
Trisha: Tom im standing in the bedroom of Judie and Glenn Isics, 10 years married and still in love. Whats their secret? Judie has an inoperable brain tumor the size of my fist, and that just happens to be Glenns fettish.

Psycho Chicken · 17-06-2005, 07:00 PM

Quagmire; Heh, I've never done it with a Spanish chick. OH-LAE.

martO · 17-06-2005, 07:23 PM

The two best shows of all time ... I have all 3 seasons of family guy on dvd plus ive download all of season 4 so far ,which is up to episode 5. And ive got all of american dad season one so far which is up to episode 6.

Quagmire: "My fellow americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you ..... I did gagoogidy that girl, I gaschmoigeddied her gaflavity with my googus"

American Dad Quote

Klaus (the fish): "By the way Stan .. i could not hold mein pee pee"

ClassicAU · 17-06-2005, 08:10 PM

futurama and family guy rule!! some of thoes news reports are awesome!

news report
tom: "In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness world record for most drugs ever done by a single human being, died today. He was attacked by a pack of wild dogs, he thought he saw"

diane: "but first, asian reporter Trisha Takanawa is on hand for the opening of manhatans newest luxury hotel"
trisha: "diane, i'm standing outside the Park Barrington Hotel, because they dont allow asians inside"

Pik0 · 17-06-2005, 10:13 PM

Peter: (has turned the whole house into a puppet) "Feed me a toolshed for i am hungry"

Meg: Mum how come you wont allow me to get laser surgery
Louis: Causes its so dangerous
(cut to scene with luke skywalker about to perform laser surgery with a light saber)
Luke: Ok miss Jenkins if you just hold real still
Ob Wan: Use the force luke
Luke: But i was just going to....
Ob Wan: Just use the force
Luck :ok then (tries to do the same with without touching the lightsabre, goes throught the chicks head)
Dont think i have laughed harder, ever...

Paris Hilton · 17-06-2005, 11:07 PM

Peter to New Yorker: "Yo buddy, is your refridgerator running? cause if it is, it probobly runs like you...very homosexually"

loxxr6 · 17-06-2005, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy!

Quagmire is the best. Speaking of Quagmire, I found on ebay his shirt that he wears. The red one with yellow flowers on it. Its so tacky and I had to have it.

We're gonna have a tacky/loud shirt pub crawl one day and I'm gonna wear it then haha

loxxr6 · 17-06-2005, 11:43 PM

Quagmire (to deep voiced woman): WOOOOAAAA! its a transvestite!
(walks back)
Quagmire: wait a minute, pre-op or post-op?
he/she: pre-op
Quagmire: WOOOOAAAA! its a transvestite!

Quagmire: i dont want to come in between you two ladies.....or maybe i do..allrrritte

The guys are in a police steakout van, listining in a lois's date... peter turns up the power.

Joe: Peter, the power isnt supposed to go that high!
Quagmire: (to himself)Damn this thing itches. I wonder who gave it to me?.... Probably that skank who needed a ride to the gas station. Oh god they musta heard me. Oh god I can hear me!... penanann nenanana pepapapan

HAHAHAHAHA

pandaman · 18-06-2005, 12:52 AM

Peter and chris are standing on the living room wearing grass skirts.
Peter: "NO! it's step, hip, step pivot! Are you trying to **** off the volcano?" (slaps chris)

Awesome stuff

Bossxr8 · 18-06-2005, 12:07 PM

Peter: Why do women have boobs
So you have something to stare at when you talk to them.

Woman gets shocked look on face, so Peter repeats it 2 times just in case she didn't get it, next scene, straight into the bosses office for sexual harassment training. GOLD.

Ride · 18-06-2005, 11:01 PM

This is in 4x03:

<Stewie kicks a foot rest in front of Peter (this is the episode where Peter goes blind from eating nickel coins)>

Stewie: "HAHA Oh my God! I almost didn't do it, I almost didn't do it, but I thought, is this in bad taste? But do you know what? I went for it! I went for it and I'm so glad I did. Oh worth it! Totally worth it!

And another one:

News Presenter: "And here comes the heroic blind man. Tell us sir, how did you summon the courage to save your friend from the burning building?"
Peter: "That freaking building was on fire!?"

Kirium · 18-06-2005, 11:45 PM

Family guy is like Ferris Buellers Day Off.... Every line is a classic... I couldn't possibly pick a favorite...

I bought the 3 season and extras set from eBay last year, and have started dling season 4 now i'm finally on ADSL...

Kirium · 19-06-2005, 12:15 AM

A classic sequence that stands out...

Peter is in a library
Peter: I'm looking for books on potty training
Librarian: Ok, well "Everybody poops" is still the standard.. Then there's the less popular "Everybody poops but you"
Peter: Ok, well you see we're Catholic
Librarian: Oh, well in that case you want "You're a naughty child and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you"

Classic...

Edit: Just watching 4x02: Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr High

Peter: Oh c'mon Chris, everyone's done something they're not proud of, like when I used to be a wonder twin
(Cut to Peter in Wonder Twin outfit)
Jana: Peter, the old school house is on fire, let's go!
Peter & Jana: Wonder twin powers, activate!
Jana: Form of Hawk!
(Jana turns into a hawk and flies away)
Jana: C'mon Peter..
Peter: I'll be right behind you... (whispers)Shape of.... Jana's tampon
(Peter turns into a tampon and hops over into Jana's handbag)
Peter: And now I play the waiting game...

Absolute on the edge classic Family Guy...

:

Bossxr8 · 19-06-2005, 11:56 AM

Lois: Remember the time you got drunk on the communial wine

Shows Peter in church drinking the wine and then he says "woh, is this really the blood of Christ"

Priest "Yes"

Peter " man that guy must have been wasted all the time".

**Kingsley** · 19-06-2005, 01:23 PM

Peter and Lois at a party where some guy is hitting her up to do a X Movie, Lois offended turns to Peter:
Lois: Peter! This guy wants me to make love to another woman in front of the camera!!
Peter: Good luck pal, I've been trying for years.

nang3 · 18-07-2005, 12:44 PM

this is the greatest show ever, for ages we were all saying that Peters chin looks like a pair of testicles, then one day hes rubbing his chin and says "What are these doing up here? " and then snaps his chin off and puts it in his pants haha friggen classic

Shonky · 18-07-2005, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nang3

this is the greatest show ever, for ages we were all saying that Peters chin looks like a pair of testicles, then one day hes rubbing his chin and says "What are these doing up here? " and then snaps his chin off and puts it in his pants haha friggen classic

LMAO!

I remember that one! I haven't seen family guy for ages!

Must get myself DVDs...

loxxr6 · 18-07-2005, 03:33 PM

Grab bitorrent. I've got all the episodes so far from series 4 and they're definately more offensive than the last few seasons.

Watch out for the one where they do the Batchelor (show) or where they take syrup of ipecac. Its so damn funny.

gazzaed · 18-07-2005, 04:00 PM

Excellent show indeed. One of my favorites is when peter is promoted to director of his company after it is taken over by a cigarette company. He comes home and tells the family, who aren't impressed because of the company's will to make choldren smoke.

PETER: Lois, you're just jealous because I can say all of the american states in a split second! VVRRRREEET!

Lois: Peter, thats just a high pitched squeal.