Stay at home dad's. is the public opinion changing?

[Polyal]

Originally Posted by fat4D

my plan is depending on finances at the time which will likely be stretched but would love to finally buy and rebuild an e series xr8

I brought my alfa about 5 months ago now with the intent of spending atleast one day a week working on it...thats not working out so well, I have done bugger all. Once the semester is over ill get into it though.

Kids take most of your time, and when they are asleep you just want to relax. Dont get me wrong its the best thing in the world and puts everything into perspective, but it can be hard.

[trippytaka]

I would be a stay at home dad! Definitely.

If all goes to plan... send the girl off to the salt mines and look after the kids while spending her money! Pack the kids off to boarding school and then I will be free to play tennis, drink coffee and have an affair with our 20 year old Thai housekeeper.

In all seriousness I would love to have the opportunity to do it. As long as I could also keep working from home etc.

[Spudz27]

Well it isn't all good. Had a job agency I applied for a job with ask why I had no job. Said I was a stay at home dad, but still apply for work etc. then I got well 5months with no job isn't good, not sure we would consider you. Then asked why I hadn't got a job, why I failed my interviews. I decided right then they could get stuffed, couple that with wanting me to meet sales targets in an industry that caters to the elderly, I think not. But I was shocked at the response of saying I was a stay at home dad.

[Work Horse]

Once gay marriage is legislated, dad can stay home and go to work.

[fat4D]

Originally Posted by Work Horse

Once gay marriage is legislated, dad can stay home and go to work.

does that really contribute to the thread? I think the most Important thing in current times and this thread being proof that a stay at home 'parent' is a fantastic thing. Whether that means both parents work part time or one parent works a year then takes a year off while the other does the opposite or one works the whole time while the other earns the money

[XRSIKS]

My son is 8 months old next week, His mum did the first 3 months, then got antsy and wanted to go back to work, Lucky because i had recently become unemployed, I have been full time Dad ever since.

People do look at me funny when i say it, I'm currently doing some contract work for a few weeks for some extra cash, but look forward to being back with the little guy full time again!

[poppa smurf]

I been trying for years to get the wife to gain an income that would keep me at the level of luxury that I would like to become accustomed to

I said to her that she only works 12 days a fortnight......she's got a whole 2 days that she could fill in ..........then theres the wasted nights

when I got up off the floor and shook the cobwebs out of my head I quickly seen her side of the argument.......that she was not interested in being the only breadwinner

no sense of humour these women!

[Cam]

Well, I am a single dad to a 3 year old boy, I currently work full time but am about 2 months away from resigning from work and taking a year off with my boy.

I think as long as the parent can provide a high level of care then the sex of the parent at home should make no difference. Hell I'm more of a parent then my sons mother will ever be, but then I spent 6 years in childcare so you'd expect that would be the case..

As long as ANY caregiver is doing the right thing by the child, I couldn't care what their sex (or sexuality for Worke Horse' sake) is!

No idea why it would be seen as a bad thing, anyone who dedicates their time to raising their children deserves praise in my books!

[Work Horse]

Originally Posted by fat4D

does that really contribute to the thread?

No it does not fat4D, but it was meant to be a joke
I guess if you wanted to look at the power of public opinion a little deeper; public opinion has no legal control over who looks after your child as opposed to who you can marry.

Originally Posted by fat4D

I think the most Important thing in current times and this thread being proof that a stay at home 'parent' is a fantastic thing. Whether that means both parents work part time or one parent works a year then takes a year off while the other does the opposite or one works the whole time while the other earns the money

At different times I have been a say at home dad, the full time bread winner while my wife stayed at home and had a child in day care. I don't believe there is any "right" way to raise a child and could care less what "public opinion" dictates. I was constantly surprised by the attitudes of some people, but it said more about them than me.IMHO
Dads should definitely be more involved in child raising than they have been historically, stay at home or not.

[toothless]

old topic but im other 1 stay at home house wife/dad with 2 kids

my work had no work and as far as i know there is still no work

so my mrs applyed for her old job back and got it so my dutys are clean the house and take the kids to school all done by 8.30am

but im loving it i get to spend every moment with the kids and do what i want

other thing too i have always wondered is why do females ***** and complain about taking all day with house work and yet i can get it done before the kids are ready to go to school thats washing up sweeping the floors mopping etc etc

[Pub247]

thats it mate knocked it all over by 9:30 then you got rest of the day to watch porn

[toothless]

im starting to get the hang of my daughters hair in the morning but im getting there she is only 7 years

[Pub247]

i do it like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJDuLCOXb8k

[The Yeti]

Originally Posted by evl_el

im starting to get the hang of my daughters hair in the morning but im getting there she is only 7 years

When my daughter was in pre school I wasn't so good at her hair,

I took ear her a couple of times, and my wife picked her up and never mentioned her hair, I couldn't work out how she couldn't comment

Then one mornings was trying to get everything happening and yelled at the kids finishing on and I still have to sort out Sam's hair.

Little miss 3 then says O it's ok dad Mrs XXX does it for me after you drop me off any how, she says lots of dads are no good at hair

[jaydee]

Watch the movie Mr Mom, funny as.
It answers all the questions, I'd be up for it, coffee with the girls, pram walks in the park with the other Mums etc.
Chuck on a load of washing now and then and sweep the floors, job done.

[fte50]

Tried it 4 a day, but in between my spraytan, manicure, pedicure & shopping etc, i just felt i wasnt giving the kids the attention they deserved.

[2011G6E]

A brother in law of mine left his wife over the issue...he lost his job in a state forestry, and she was an admin head at Telstra. She was making maybe three times a fortnight what he was, and when he lost his job, she said she was quite happy if he wanted to stay at home and run the house, while she worked. They had no kids, the house had been left to her by her parents and they didn't have many bills to speak of. They were certainly in a much better financial position just with her working than my wife and I with three kids.
After three weeks of staying at home, cleaning house, working on a couple of old motorbikes he owned, he left. He "didn't feel like a man".

Moron...

[toothless]

maybe we should make a stay at home dad cruise?

[BigJamo]

My biggest regret about being a stay-at-home Dad, is tring to get back into the workforce now that my youngest has finally gone to school.

Im not sure potential employers are taking me to seriously when I have to tell them why I have not had a full-time job for over 5 years. Bringing up kids is a job in itself, I have 3 (5,10,13) & I will keep striving to look for work to keep this family secure.

[tex]

Originally Posted by 2011G6E

A brother in law of mine left his wife over the issue...he lost his job in a state forestry, and she was an admin head at Telstra. She was making maybe three times a fortnight what he was, and when he lost his job, she said she was quite happy if he wanted to stay at home and run the house, while she worked. They had no kids, the house had been left to her by her parents and they didn't have many bills to speak of. They were certainly in a much better financial position just with her working than my wife and I with three kids.
After three weeks of staying at home, cleaning house, working on a couple of old motorbikes he owned, he left. He "didn't feel like a man".

Moron...

He must be related to that other idiot on the first page that believes his manhood would be jeopardised by looking after a family.

I had worked full times for over 20 years in various roles, last 10 in management roles.

Without a doubt the toughest gig I've ever done was becoming primary carer for my 8 month old son, did that full time for a little over 6 months. I've returned to work part time and have to say my employer has been very flexible, supportive and demonstrated a real desire to tailor my return to work to best fit my desire to remain part time house dad.

This responsibility is definitely not for everyone, the patience I've had to learn, the ability to put my own time and selfish desires secondary to an infants has not come easy for me. Screaming toddlers, boundless energy to get into things they're not supposed to, the demand it places on you tests the strongest resolve. There's been times when I've thought I wouldn't be able to do it the next day, yet alone for the next few years

So, to all the real men that wouldn't even consider doing it, because their manliness would be brought into question or compromised, I say this.

Is more a reflection on your shortcomings than the guy who takes on the challenge, and you're the one that's poorer for not having experienced early years fatherhood if that opportunity did infact present itself.

[toothless]

Takes a real man to take this responsibility

[BENT_8]

This is a timely thread mine, I was contemplating posting this topic over the last couple of weeks.

To qualify, I am currently a stay at home dad looking after my 16 month old daughter.
I believe there is a huge stigma against stay at home dads but it falls into another of societies catagories, frowned upon but rarely investigated deep enough to understand the circumstances behind it.

My story...

My wife and I have been together since we were 14 and 15 respectively. We are 35 and 36 now and have been married for 9 years.
We have 4 children, our first born in 98, second in 2000, the next in 04 and the youngest in 2011.
With our first 3 children I worked full time whilst my wife worked weekends in her parents take away shop and cared for the kids during the week.
By the time our third child was 3 years old she had begun to feel stale and wanted to re enter the work force.
She hadn't worked full time for 9 years at that stage.

In 07 she applied and was successful in gaining employment in an aged care facility.
At that point I began working reduced hours so as to accommodate her 6am starts and getting 2 kids off to school and 1 off to day care.
When the youngest reached school age I returned to full time work before taking up a position driving trucks in 2011.

In 2011 we discovered we were expecting our 4th child, unplanned but cherished all the same.
At that stage we faced a dilemma as my wife had been with her employer 4 years and had earned a reputation for quality work and dependability.
She enjoyed being away from the home environment and spending time with adults.
She took 10 months maternity leave during her pregnancy and returned when our daughter was 7 months old.
At the time of her return to work I was still working full time driving trucks, but had arranged my starting time around dropping off the 3 eldest to school and our then 7 month old off to day care.

In November of last year I was made redundant along with 2 other drivers.
I applied for numerous jobs over the following months, but was unable to find a position which could suit our situation which required me to drop the kids off at 8.30 .

At that point, after seeking financial advice we decided that we could manage if I stayed at home, save the daycare expense and raise our daughter as my wife had with our first 3.

Anyway, a month or so later I get a letter from centrelink to attend an interview.
At the interview i'm told by this girl of about mid 20's that I really should be dropping my daughter off at day care and finding a job.
When questioned as to why this was the case she told me that mothers shouldn't be expected to be sole bread winners.
She went on to tell me her sisters partner had stayed home with their children and that she despised him for making her sister earn their keep.

At this point I raised the notion of a stigma against stay at home dads, she counldn't identify with that...ironiclly.
Anyway, I went on to explain to her that weekly the subject comes up and someone will make a comment about me being home with my daughter which is beginning to impact on my sense of self worth.

She said I was imagining things, so I referred her to her own words minutes earlier about her sisters situation.

She then insisted that children need to be in a day care environment as it helps them bond with other kids.
I replied that none of my kids had been to day care below the age of 3 and that the thought of 3 day care workers managing 20 kids didn't seem like the ideal situation either.
She replied that both her parents worked full time when she was young and day care was good for her.

At this point, with steam pouring from my ears i informed her that despite my children being deprived of day care...

My eldest boy had been school SRC 3 times in primary school and invited back to give a speech to the graduates the following year and at 14 has just landed his first job at KFC.

My eldest daughter, 12, has been school SRC for 5 of her 7 years and knocked the gig back this year as she was also named school captain.
She also represents SA in the under 18 state lawn bowls squad.

My youngest fellow is in his 3rd year of primary school and has been SRC all 3 years.

I then asked her if she thought we should rethink our strategy on raising kids...surprisingly the interview ended then and I was on my way.

In summary I am most certain that people think less of me due to my situation, the thing is, my wife wouldn't give up her job to stay at home again if she won the lotto.
She's happy, the kids are happy, there's food on the table and clothes on our backs, I shouldn't be made to feel guilty, but I do....

[uniacidz]

Brother is now a stay home dad.

[Ben73]

I would happily do it if the missus earned enough herself.

When I was a kid my mum got a redundancy payment and then stayed home to look after us kids. Few years later my dad got a redundancy payment as well. The house was paid off and we didn't really need any extra money straight away, so my dad also took about a year or so off to be with the family.

He eventually returned to his old industry while my mum stayed at home. This would be an extremely rare situation these days. Especially since mum had average job while my dads was slightly above average. Not like they were on enormous salaries or something.

[fanboi]

Stay at home parent is the easiest and most rewarding occupation anyone could have.

[grandpa_spec_F6]

Cousin (in-law) is a stay-at-home dad to his 3 kids, and he's the most amazing caring person anyone would ever wish to have raise kids. He says it's challenging at the best of times but worth ever last 5am morning.

[BENT_8]

Originally Posted by fanboi

Stay at home parent is the easiest and most rewarding occupation anyone could have.

Easiest, i'm not so sure, most rewarding, you bet.

To be honest, i'd rather be negotiating 15t of freight through inner metropolitan Adelaide than changing a dirty nappy at 6am any day.

However, having said that, I've always been a fairly highly strung sort of person and my time at home with bubs has helped me to relax heaps.
Sometimes I forget im in public and find myself pulling funny faces at her or making silly sounds and get some interesting looks from others.

It makes me feel younger, and our daily walks are a lot better than sitting on my **** behind the wheel for hours at a time listening to the same old radio shows day in day out.
I may even join the local gym again as they have a kids room so she can top up on her kiddy interaction and I can get a daily fix of lycra...

At this stage our plan is for me to stay home with her until she is 3 and then return to work.
Hopefully by then the economy will be on the up and the transport industry has begun to rebound.
During my time off i plan on upgrading my heavy vehicle licence from HR to MC and perhaps look at some other tickets to expand my options in the industry.

[sgt_doofey]

I'm returning to work tomorrow after an 8 week stint of playing Mr Mum. It has been by far a very rewarding experience for me. I don't want to go back to work, but being the main bread winner in the house, I have to. I'd rather be at home looking after the little man, but it's unfortunately not possible.
If anyone has the chance to do it, even just for a short period of time like myself, then grab that chance by the horns and go for it! It'll be one of the best things in your life to do.

[BHDOGS]

Most dads can now i recently took two weeks dad and partner pay courtesy of the guvment due to being casual otherwise i couldnt of afforded to being there for my new born was an excellent experience

[STINKY NINJA]

Well done to all the stay at home dads,you deserve alot of credit!