Depression, Anxiety

[TheSneakiness]

Just had an implosion.

I now know it wasn't the ex or the split that caused my depression. No no.

It's work. And looking back and reflecting on my behaviour since I started here it's always been work, the way I was pigeon holed into specific tasks only, the way I've only ever had second hand equipment, the way I've been ridiculed cause of the shirt I wear. The way I get spoken to by my line leader when I'm just asking for more work or trying to run something by them and being fobbed off.

I would take it home and unfortunately my family suffered because of it. And now I don't have that anymore.

The problem is that my skill set is so specific it's really hard to find a job without outlaying cash I don't have to skill up or change skills. I get too nervous or far too overconfident in interviews so that doesn't help.

I legitimately don't like coming in. But I need the money to survive.

[wicksy]

Im on Lexapro now, been on it for a couple weeks, the first week was bloody hell, no sleep, lack of appeite, but it has been so worth it, i have noticed a massive notice so far, i was having at least 5 anxiety attacks a day, felt down nearly every day, now i have had 2 so far, dont feel in the dumps and starting to feel much better about myself, weight is starting to fall off again, i am motivated to kick butt and move foward

[LTDHO]

Originally Posted by TheSneakiness

I legitimately don't like coming in. But I need the money to survive.

You are not the only one mate.

[Tui2]

Sneaky=Feel ya.
I'm back in solo mode.. or so-low mode. No support so I continue to do this on my own and can only hope that stupid ideas don't take me on another wild journey. Kerp well all

[sneaky]

Just started on zoloft in the last few days after a week of no meds. Hopefully it will improve the mood a bit.

Been trying to get out and exercise daily, started yoga last week as well. Good place for meeting relaxed nice happy people.

Still finding it hard to come to terms with my life now being separate to my ex's. I miss having that someone to talk to and having her speaking to me about small things. Now the only communication is to do with the kids..

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by sneaky

Just started on zoloft in the last few days after a week of no meds. Hopefully it will improve the mood a bit.

Been trying to get out and exercise daily, started yoga last week as well. Good place for meeting relaxed nice happy people.

Still finding it hard to come to terms with my life now being separate to my ex's. I miss having that someone to talk to and having her speaking to me about small things. Now the only communication is to do with the kids..

Its been over 17months for me since the missus gave up on wanting to understand my depression and to decided to, not just leave me but severe all ties after 9 years of coming home to a husband that hid my woes for the sake of the grandchildren at least.. but only did she decide to separate after i i fought for doctors to get to the bottom of my irregular life decisdoons and bipolar moods.. resulting in final diagnosis of BPD.. which opened up a lot of unanswered childhood trauma.
which if ever i needed an understanding/supportive partner..it was these last 17months. I hope you can achieve not dwelling on the actions of your ex and her way of thinking, sooner than i did. As time passes it all comes down to your health and if like me your children go there own way and leave you alone..devestated and hopeless.. i can only pray you have family and friends to provide actual support. Because its effin' hard on my own.

Please give me a PM briefing on yoga classes and what your true feelings of its therapeutic outcome when/if you are sure enough of them as i have tried group therapy.. church outings and others and locking myself in the darkness of home is the final outcome of all. Kerp well all

[sbutler]

There's one thing that this thread highlights, is how widespread this bloody monster [depression & anxiety] really is!

One thing I do know is that you suffer in silence, & its so hard to see the sun when you have a dark cloud over you.
Yes support can help. But its the lack of understanding that doesnt help.
Friends seem to dump you, they either don't understand or cant.
I think the secret is to try to make yourself happy. If you can do that you are on your way. Yes there are outside factors that come into play, & they cant be avoided. How you handle them is going to influence how you feel.
Drugs can & do help in some cases. That's great if it works.
If they dont you are up ***** creek.
Anyway by the posts in this thread & talking about the black dog, someone will find the sunshine again, & that the best thing ever.

[Pis-ton broke]

i would like to put my hand up. ive been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. my new doctor has superscribed sertraline/zoloft and see a head doctor.
i have been living with this for a very long time. i went to see the new doc about something completely unrelated, next thing you know after a whole lot of questions , i had tears in my eyes, at that point when the doc said i can help, do you want help, i thought yes, cause i,m over carrying around junk in my head that i can,t talk to anyone about. to be honest ,i,m happy to try stuff, cause life in general was getting pretty sad. well, i,ll see how it goes. funny bit was, i told doc i was thinking about smoking some weed to relax a bit, hes says no don,t do that cause of this and that, so i say yeah i,ll try the drugs instead.

[BENT_8]

What made you think smoking weed would help, genuine question.

Something to consider is that Doctors get kick backs for prescribing prescription drugs, he wouldn't benefit in any way from you smoking pot...

Not that I'm trying to offer you professional advice because I'm not a professional, nor do I know your history or state of mind, just highlighting the point.

[Pis-ton broke]

i,m sick of being lonely, so i get a bit drunk, weed is a different way to get wasted. its escapism.

[5wheelguy]

Sorry for the thread bump.

I find that laughter does help. Best medicine, they say.

If you are depressed, have you tried listening to XFM (Ricky Gervais, Karl Pilkington & Steve Merchant) - Imo, they're funny most of the time. They avoid topics which ultimately end in stress.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...C8Lyt1KOp2pm8b

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by 5wheelguy

If you are depressed, have you tried listening to XFM (Ricky Gervais, Karl Pilkington & Steve Merchant) - Imo, they're funny most of the time. They avoid topics which ultimately end in stress.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...C8Lyt1KOp2pm8b

I definitely have a different sense of humour to you as I don't find Ricky Gervais anywhere near the realm of funny.

[sneaky]

Trejo - I'm still doing yoga but the outcome is too early to call. Been going for 2 weeks of a 4 week trial. I have tried a few different class styles. Some are more physical than others but i haven't really connected on the mental side of things yet.

The relax, clear your head and breathe hasn't taken hold. I usually still stew things over in my head while trying to work out what I'm supposed to be doing and breathing in time with it. I'll give it another few weeks to see how i go. The place I'm going had a $30 for 30 days trial, but it goes up to $25 a week after that which is a bit pricey at this point.

Edit to add more

Not sure if it is a good sign or not but I've had a few heated/emotional phone calls with my ex recently. Hopefully this is me putting some blame on her and not all on me. Doesn't help when she tells me to get over the past when she got a new boyfriend weeks after our 20yr relationship ended.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by sneaky

Trejo - I'm still doing yoga but the outcome is too early to call. Been going for 2 weeks of a 4 week trial. I have tried a few different class styles. Some are more physical than others but i haven't really connected on the mental side of things yet.

The relax, clear your head and breathe hasn't taken hold. I usually still stew things over in my head while trying to work out what I'm supposed to be doing and breathing in time with it. I'll give it another few weeks to see how i go. The place I'm going had a $30 for 30 days trial, but it goes up to $25 a week after that which is a bit pricey at this point.

Edit to add more

Not sure if it is a good sign or not but I've had a few heated/emotional phone calls with my ex recently. Hopefully this is me putting some blame on her and not all on me. Doesn't help when she tells me to get over the past when she got a new boyfriend weeks after our 20yr relationship ended.

She probably cant be alone that why she has. You shouldn't take all the blame for things that have happened. She's probably made you feel that way she feels better about herself. hang in there and try different things till you find something that helps. Have you tried meditation?

[.:4:.]

I'm going to throw it out there. For the past few months I have been separated from the wife of 5 years, together 12 and a bit, 7 and a half year old son. House cars all the rest. Not through choice. I'll start with the fact I'm actually liking the freedom. Anyrate. The circumstances leading up to the situation were I was her emotional dumping ground, and she wouldn't have a bar of any if my issues. Let's face it, everyone has issues to offload at one point or another. Her dad copped dimentia a few months back which sparked the problems. She had it through her head she could help. My logic to get professional help only made her angry. Turns out a nursing home with mental health workers was the outcome. There were times when I was down about it all, and a fellow member kept my head up. But now I'm in a good place. I still do financially keep her going because she is struggling, and my son is a champ who doesn't deserve to be without due to circumstances out of his control. I think she needs help, and I'm not out shopping, if she sorts herself out I'm a forgiving guy.

[ebxr8240]

Just watch meds you take !! Any of them.. I was taking tramadol etc type drugs for over 20 years due to work injury.. The BEST thing I did was to lose some weight and GET OFF the meds!! Yes the pain is still there.. I'm learning to live with it ..Well did that along time ago!! I'm 1000 times more active now.. Too busy to worry about **** other in what I'm doing..

[TheSneakiness]

Any ideas on stress relievers other than quiet places, yoga, meditation, walking etc etc???

I think my issue is I hate being on my own so if I am I think and if I think I come up with all sorts of stupid and out there ideas and that's making me paranoid.

I'm finding the only thing stopping me from thinking is video games, had an 8 hour session on GTA 5 yesterday and I haven't felt better mentally.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by TheSneakiness

Any ideas on stress relievers other than quiet places, yoga, meditation, walking etc etc???

I think my issue is I hate being on my own so if I am I think and if I think I come up with all sorts of stupid and out there ideas and that's making me paranoid.

I'm finding the only thing stopping me from thinking is video games, had an 8 hour session on GTA 5 yesterday and I haven't felt better mentally.

Playing the games is fine but you have to be very careful that that doesn't become an addiction as well. Also you'll end up staying home all the time rather than getting out and being with people and trying to enjoy life.

[.:4:.]

I've been doing some thinking on my recent chain of events. Now it's nothing horrible but considering I feel good (normal) in where my head space is at the moment I have no issue sharing. Late October the wifes father went 0 to 100 with his mental state. The wife would dump her over reacted issues onto me and not have a bar of any of mine. Not so happy making, especially with the most minor things turning into arguments. She then went to stay at her mums to help out with the situation and her dad needed 24 hour supervision. That was November. My suggestion of professional help apparently was a bad idea even though i have a sybling in the mental health industry. December I got quite sick to the point of hospitalisation and weight loss, and a week off work. My mum came to visit, the wife did not. Back to work, and working by myself, feeling I'll most the time and with no energy I often over exerted myself to do the same amount of work as when I had an offsider (I'm an electrician) I'd often come home, throw up and go to bed. It's kind of a beat down when you can't function at full capacity. Between December and February communication between the wife and myself improved, we are back to being friends again but the road is a long one so I won't rush it. Early Feb another trip to the hospital. Since December I had lost 11 kgs I couldn't afford to due to (still a mystery even though I've had blood, breath and every other excrement tested) the same illness, this time she visited and before saying anything burst into tears. You look like **** she said. I also felt like it. I've so far regained 5.kg and currently work have given me an offsider so I only have to work at 70% capacity (retard apprentice is only capable of 30% of the work). Having worked with a busted rib for the past 2 weeks has been awesome also. The relationship between the wife and I has improved slightly but that takes time, the friendship is almost back. I have had my grievance period and what ever happens now just happens. I'm keeping optomistic.

[Tui2]

Sneaky: thanks and you answered why I was reluctant to do yoga.. the fact that the quieter it is the more thoughts come rushing in causing chaos.. I describe it as Mindtropolis..where, like a scene from metropolis, instead of vehicles, my thoughts are travelling in many directions at many altitudes.

And to verify again that the ones closer to us are the ones more likely to not want to, or even try to understand our illness and definately more likely to leave us to it the more we understand and get the help we need. Please everyone Google Borderline Personality Disorder (I am a severe case and have no support groups designed specifically for my disorder within a 2hr travel radius where I am) it's so difficult to treat because of the many factoring causes.. so if you read in depth about it .. there may be some factors that either allow you to stop being so hard on yourself ie. Discovering that your subconscious has been the a-hole/gambler/drug addict/alcoholic etc while you yourself were just looking for emotional stability that just doesn't seem to happen no matter how hard we try because we didn't know we couldn't be that and that we definately can't have lashing tongues from loved ones mouths.. give me a smack in the head any day compared to my ex wife's nasty words.. dont get me wrong. . Her words are her fists.. so it makes sense to not get into a boxing ring if you are a wrestler.. and that is what makes us loners.. so when you are honest and accept that is who we are.. then we can count on ourselves to be the only way to happiness, sadly

[TheSneakiness]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Sneaky: thanks and you answered why I was reluctant to do yoga.. the fact that the quieter it is the more thoughts come rushing in causing chaos.. I describe it as Mindtropolis..where, like a scene from metropolis, instead of vehicles, my thoughts are travelling in many directions at many altitudes.

And to verify again that the ones closer to us are the ones more likely to not want to, or even try to understand our illness and definately more likely to leave us to it the more we understand and get the help we need. Please everyone Google Borderline Personality Disorder (I am a severe case and have no support groups designed specifically for my disorder within a 2hr travel radius where I am) it's so difficult to treat because of the many factoring causes.. so if you read in depth about it .. there may be some factors that either allow you to stop being so hard on yourself ie. Discovering that your subconscious has been the a-hole/gambler/drug addict/alcoholic etc while you yourself were just looking for emotional stability that just doesn't seem to happen no matter how hard we try because we didn't know we couldn't be that and that we definately can't have lashing tongues from loved ones mouths.. give me a smack in the head any day compared to my ex wife's nasty words.. dont get me wrong. . Her words are her fists.. so it makes sense to not get into a boxing ring if you are a wrestler.. and that is what makes us loners.. so when you are honest and accept that is who we are.. then we can count on ourselves to be the only way to happiness, sadly

Bold is ringing true here, I'm finding myself less and less tolerant of other people and especially at work any little nuance is making me irritable.

I am thinking maybe I was meant to be a loner and it's something that's happened since my late teens where I decided quality was better over quantity so I only have a handful of people I regularly speak to and if I find a connection with anyone else I'm very cautious until that trust is mutual.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by TheSneakiness

Bold is ringing true here, I'm finding myself less and less tolerant of other people and especially at work any little nuance is making me irritable.

I am thinking maybe I was meant to be a loner and it's something that's happened since my late teens where I decided quality was better over quantity so I only have a handful of people I regularly speak to and if I find a connection with anyone else I'm very cautious until that trust is mutual.

And that's the thing, we don't all have to be social creatures.

Society will have us believe that we should all be highly sociable beings. But the reality is some prefer a quieter existence. Not every one needs to bouncing off the wall or others to be happy.

I am gradually learning to be happy means to do what you want and try not be influenced what others/society determines. My job involves me being around a lot of different people and at the end of the day I find comfort in solitude. If that makes me loaner, well so be it.

[Tui2]

Hi all. Well this Contesting of my old man's will for the sale of the roof over my head, so greed can feed the rich/solicitors, has become too much anxiety for me to even warrant getting my own legal representation to make my own claim towards the will of the man to whom I was the only one to care for and sacrifice employment and marriage for over the last 14 years. So much money has gone to his step daughter's and my sister's/mum's solicitors already, that I refuse to give anymore of his life's hard earned money away by employing more. There is going to be bugger all left TO share. So I'm staying in my shell until the day I am made to roam the country like David Carradine in Kung fu.
Kick the Dog Keeping Well all

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

[nuthin' fancy]

Originally Posted by Trejo

Hi all. Well this Contesting of my old man's will for the sale of the roof over my head, so greed can feed the rich/solicitors, has become too much anxiety for me to even warrant getting my own legal representation to make my own claim towards the will of the man to whom I was the only one to care for and sacrifice employment and marriage for over the last 14 years. So much money has gone to his step daughter's and my sister's/mum's solicitors already, that I refuse to give anymore of his life's hard earned money away by employing more. There is going to be bugger all left TO share. So I'm staying in my shell until the day I am made to roam the country like David Carradine in Kung fu.
Kick the Dog Keeping Well all

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

Trejo,

I hate lawyers with a passion. Where else in a negotiation do you tell someone how much you have to spend? Greedy relatives who never lifted a finger can then put their hand out via a lawyer who says "the estate will pay". They just wear you down to where you are getting to now and leave the results of a life lived in a newer Mercedes or a larger boat or an extension to the house down the coast.

My sympathy to your plight won't make it any better but I really feel for you.


John

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by nuthin' fancy

Trejo,

I hate lawyers with a passion. Where else in a negotiation do you tell someone how much you have to spend? Greedy relatives who never lifted a finger can then put their hand out via a lawyer who says "the estate will pay". They just wear you down to where you are getting to now and leave the results of a life lived in a newer Mercedes or a larger boat or an extension to the house down the coast.

My sympathy to your plight won't make it any better but I really feel for you.


John

THANKS JOHN TRULY, though a meaningless existence it is, really, when just a few written words of sympathetic acknowledgment , from a stranger amid the billions, can meaningfully alter one's state of mind to want to better said existence, though it can only do so for a short period of time, because there simply was never enough kind words spoken, let alone written. to stand up and fight this black dog of war any more. I will however stock up on those kind words to use against any WMDs (words of mass destruction) being stored for supremacy. Caio 4 Naio

[sneaky]

I'm hopefully getting closer to wrapping up this chapter of my life. House went on the market a few days ago and there are some decent offers. Once it sells i can count my cash and see what my borrowing power is to move into my own place.

In a few weeks I'm starting a yoga class aimed at stress release, anxiety and depression which will incorporate breathing techniques, mindfulness and meditation.

I spent a few hours today riding a motorbike, something I've always wanted to do but never been 'allowed'. It was nice to get out in the fresh air with no where to be and no way to hear a phone.

[cram_it_frog]

lawyers yes well funny thing happened few years back in Perth

two top QC lawyers went to the beach before work Scarborough and were attacted by a shark it bit the board and left

next day local newpaper cartoon shark biteing the board the caption said Even sharks do not like lawyers

sofunny

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by sneaky

I'm hopefully getting closer to wrapping up this chapter of my life. House went on the market a few days ago and there are some decent offers. Once it sells i can count my cash and see what my borrowing power is to move into my own place.

In a few weeks I'm starting a yoga class aimed at stress release, anxiety and depression which will incorporate breathing techniques, mindfulness and meditation.

I spent a few hours today riding a motorbike, something I've always wanted to do but never been 'allowed'. It was nice to get out in the fresh air with no where to be and no way to hear a phone.

good onya sneaky. if only such peace could last above the voices at night that subconsciously wear ones teeth down. Good news is NOVACASTRIANS GET THE V8 SUPERCARS TEARING UP THE STREETS IN NOVEMBER. SEE YOU THERE SNEAKY AND YOU TOO BEAST!

[sneaky]

Originally Posted by Trejo

good onya sneaky. if only such peace could last above the voices at night that subconsciously wear ones teeth down. Good news is NOVACASTRIANS GET THE V8 SUPERCARS TEARING UP THE STREETS IN NOVEMBER. SEE YOU THERE SNEAKY AND YOU TOO BEAST!

I got General Admission tickets for me and my 9yr old son to go just for the Friday. I figure we will get the noise and idea of the day from practice and hopefully there will be not as many people there. My daughter wasn't interested in going, and it will be too late when she finds out her brother has the day off school hahaha. He has thrown a spanner into my plan - I was going to ride the pushbike in to town to save parking and traffic hassles, but I don't think he will like the 1 hour+ bike ride home at the end of the day

In the other news file - house is in cooling off period, signed paperwork for parenting plan and financial settlement. Had a few more arguments, still seem to be ok with the ex most of the time, especially if she wants something from me...

and the idea of chatting to females is getting less repulsive as time goes on maybe there is hope for me one day..

For those with netflix I am watching "the 100" at the moment - good show. and i watched "13 reasons why" a few weeks ago, smashed the whole series in a weekend - such a good show, was a bit graphic and 'close to home' in some parts. but still awesome.

[LTDHO]

Responding to a greeting:

Sorry if this has been asked/covered before.

How do you respond to "Hi, how are you?" or one of the variants?

Do you straight out lie and say you are "okay"?
This will avoid an unwanted discussion.

Cheers