Some advice for "Pre-teen" Parents

[steamin63]

my only advice is send the kids to the grand parents for the week end and then move interstate. it only gets worse from here on. cheers.

[ELtim]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

You're 16 right?

Tell me, what have you learned "the hard way"? That sentence has me intrigued.

If anything from all the 16 year olds I've seen here is that you've been given your life on a platter and because of that you think you're the ducks nuts and don't give a flying eff what anyone else thinks. You also think that everything is automatically expected to be given to you, no effort involved.

Leaving school = Learning what work is
Drinking = Mega hang over
Running away = Fending for myself
Hitting me Dad = Getting a beat down
Smart mouthing people = Getting a beat down
Underage uhh interactions = Getting a beat down
Getting into 18+ places = Getting thrown out on my ***

I've learnt valuable lessons from all of those.

[andrewts]

Wow I just posted that whole post earlier thinking Rapid_Axe quoted me! :

Now people know a bit more about me. Whoops.

[ELtim]

Originally Posted by Interceptor

had a few simple rules when i was growing up

NO drugs, he'd shoot me (and had the gun collection to enforce it)
NO smoking
If i wanted to go out and get drunk, dont expect any sympathy in the morning when i was suffering from a hangover....... i still dont get any sympathy, and i'm 26
Dont EVER bring the police home, if i EVER showed up with the cops in tow, that was it, he would disown me on the spot
If i was going to go out, he wanted to have at least a rough idea where i was
Dont swear at him...... learnt that lesson quickly, told him to off one night, he stood up, grabbed me by the collar, lifted me out of my chair and hit me hard enough that i knocked the sofa over on my way backwards, i promptly got up and bolted for my room..... i was 14 at the time

i've been hit with carpenters wooden rulers (folding ones), the cane, belt, jug cord and bare hand..... never did me any good, but it never did me any harm either

to date i've never smoked, only ever been stoned once (at a friends house and everyone was hammering the bong, i got wrecked on 2nd hand smoke) and i've never been in any more trouble with the police than one speeding ticket......

on the subject of catching people in the act..... the 1st year apprentice where i used to work got caught rooting his gf by his mum, she just walked in and there they were, butt naked going at it...... she wouldnt talk to him for a week..... rang his father and apparently all he said was "cook the boy a steak, he's gotta keep his strength up"

she didnt talk to him for a week either........

I made my parents out to look like no hopers.

My parents had rules. But as they were raised to learn from their mistakes they had the same idea for us. We do get a helping hand and a good throttling when needed.

EDIT: I'm not complaining about anything. The crap we get from older generations is just life. They do know better.

My parents made sure we ate every night and slept in a warm house every night. I'm thankful for the life I have and that I also have the responsibility to earn my own way with cars and luxuries since I chose to leave school.

I have much more confidence in myself now that I have the chance to fend for myself (to an extent).

[Interceptor]

forgot one more rule

NEVER complain about the food you're given..... did it one night, dad said "if you dont like it, dont eat it" grabbed the plate, marched to the kitchen and dumped the lot in the bin...... told me if i thought i could do better, i could do the cooking..... needless to say, i did, and he never complained......

[Poetic Justice]

Gee, I'm fairly chuffed at my up-bringing after reading the past few posts heh.

My parents always treated myself, my brother and my sister as adults once we became teenagers. We all did silly things, but if you don't do silly things in life you don't learn anything. By all means, you'd get your fair guilt trip if you did something wrong and the parents had to bail you out, and in most cases it taught you to not do it again.

As for being physical, my parents pretty much gave that up after the age of 8 or so... and would definitely not do it once myself and my brother were old/big enough to tower over the old man. But by that stage in life you'd learnt such respect for people that you'd never even consider doing something so ridiculous as hitting a family member.

Though, as far as removing the door goes - well I was never really rebellious and nor were my brother or sister so it didn't become an issue. Mum would threaten the whole no washing crap but she is too much of a caring mum and can't let these things go on. To raise the idea of removing a door would incite "Bugger that, I don't want to know whats going on in there, or hear the noises that are assosciated with it." would be the reply from my olds.

Much the same as the grounding rule. My parents saw it as punishment to them, and not me, to make it impossible for me to leave the house. They'd rather me be gone with my friends for the entire weekend than having to be confined to the house annoying them the whole time, hah!

[Van D]

Originally Posted by fmc351

Either that or do it naked, that'll learn em.

LOL!

Door trick is good, i'll remember that for the far distant future.

[amisupposed2b]

It may work for some. But i am gonna let my 2 cents worth in here (sorry for sounding like as *** on this but its gotta be said)

Beat your children.

Do not over do it, but beat them to the point where they feel the physical pain.

Im 18 years old, and done some things im too embarassed to write here. but let me tell you 95% of my disipline, manners, honesty and honour come from my dad giving me a belting.

I remember when I once took money from his wallet then denied it. He knew it was me, a wooden spoon to the hand till I gave in, went something like this.

*smack*
Dad: What did you do abraham?
me: Nothing
*smack*
Dad : What did you do abraham?
me: really nothing, I promise to god ( a classic and obvious bs indicator)
*smack*
Dad: Lies will get you no where in life Abraham!
me: Ok I took money
*smack*
Dad: and neither will being a thief.

Till this day I fear him doing that to me again.

But my father was never the type to hit me, I always saw that it hurt him so much to hit me, but he knew it had to be done. And even after that I could not hold a grudge to him, because he always told me about how much he hates hitting me and how much he loves me. My dad is still around today, and now that I am becoming an adult and setting my own path, although he isnt for it, he is always by my side.

Love you dad. And thanks for kicking my *** all the way till I was 18. I needed it.

[fpr_esp]

Originally Posted by amisupposed2b

It may work for some. But i am gonna let my 2 cents worth in here (sorry for sounding like as *** on this but its gotta be said)

Beat your children.

Do not over do it, but beat them to the point where they feel the physical pain.

Im 18 years old, and done some things im too embarassed to write here. but let me tell you 95% of my disipline, manners, honesty and honour come from my dad giving me a belting.

I remember when I once took money from his wallet then denied it. He knew it was me, a wooden spoon to the hand till I gave in, went something like this.

*smack*
Dad: What did you do abraham?
me: Nothing
*smack*
Dad : What did you do abraham?
me: really nothing, I promise to god ( a classic and obvious bs indicator)
*smack*
Dad: Lies will get you no where in life Abraham!
me: Ok I took money
*smack*
Dad: and neither will being a thief.

Till this day I fear him doing that to me again.

But my father was never the type to hit me, I always saw that it hurt him so much to hit me, but he knew it had to be done. And even after that I could not hold a grudge to him, because he always told me about how much he hates hitting me and how much he loves me. My dad is still around today, and now that I am becoming an adult and setting my own path, although he isnt for it, he is always by my side.

Love you dad. And thanks for kicking my *** all the way till I was 18. I needed it.

wd mate im the father of an 8 and 10 year old i for one cant hit my kids but with you when it is needed it should be done in moderation.

you could'nt have put it in better words if you tried i have belted my kids in the past but the look on thier faces broke my heart so i do the take stuff off them method works for a bit, but yep as a 33 year old im about to take some sound advice from a 18 year old who seems to have more sense than myself.

once again wd and great post but at the same time i have lmfao at the entire thread peoples stories great stuff and some great ideas. 10/10 for the thread.

[Geez Louise]

I come from a large Italian family...10 children and my father ruled with a heavy hand.

I always said that if I had children I would never be the same. Every parent raises their kids different as "they see fit".

I have never "smacked" my kids - personal choice - and have raised two beautiful children. My eldest is a productive, contributing member of the community (about to sit the Police Entrance exam )and I am sure that my youngest one will be a productive member of society too.

The best we can hope for our kids is that they don't hurt anyone, don't do anything illegal and care about the people around them.

If we do that...then I think it is a job well done!

[Daymoe]

I don't think i could ever stand to hit kids, i'd have to use other methods. What made me stop being a little bastard when i was little was when dad got my Double Dragon II game on NES and smashed it infront of us.

[FlipXW]

Originally Posted by 90sFTW

I don't think i could ever stand to hit kids, i'd have to use other methods. What made me stop being a little bastard when i was little was when dad got my Double Dragon II game on NES and smashed it infront of us.

No F%^&%&^ Way, DDII and III were and still are the best games ever made. I feel for you badly