Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated.

Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-10-2010, 12:07 PM   #61
Grippy
Racing improves the breed
 
Grippy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: SE Melbourne
Posts: 3,982
Default

Do it! Please
__________________
1970 Mini Cooper S Historic Group Nc Touring car

1964 Mini Cooper S Historic Group Nb Touring car

2024 Subaru Outback Touring XT

Victorian Hill Climb Championship
Grippy is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 12:12 PM   #62
mik
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
mik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Melb north
Posts: 12,025
Default

yes .......pleez do.
mik is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 12:30 PM   #63
Jason[98.EL]
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Jason[98.EL]'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: GEELONG
Posts: 7,946
Default

yup i agree with the few above

please do i search for this thread every yr just to have a laugh
__________________
no longer have a ford but a ford man at heart
R.I.P 98 EL MAY YOU HAVE A GOOD LIFE IN FALCON HEAVEN

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Jason[98.EL] is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 01:08 PM   #64
Sourbastard
Moderator
Contributing Member
 
Sourbastard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
Default

very well. The sequel!

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the land
The nation was stuffing its face full of ham
The stockings were sold and so was the tree
and I got a good price for the kids PS3

But why had I sold all the things they held dear
Because of the Falcons busted diff gear
It had died in a fit of traction and smoke
took one big heave and then it did croak

So the family would suffer this Christmas you see
because I had to have a 9 inch LSD
but never you mind they have all that they need
both bread and water for 6 weeks to feed

So in the shed I did live for the last bloody week
while my wife and my kids called me a freak
“You selfish old bugger” again I was called
while under the car with tools I was sprawled

Then as the door slammed I heard a new noise
a v8 in my driveway, it was one of the boys!
Outside I rushed but it was all in vain
Mark Skaife on my lawn! Not you again!

He wasn't alone this time, just as before
out piled cretins from the 3 other doors
They didn't look happy and most in bad shape
It must've been last years 7 days of prison rape

Murphy whined first, “Its revenge that we seek!”
then Perkins did follow with “lets get this creep!”
So on they did rush, one wielding a razor
Till Skaife's ugly mug impacted my tazer

The cadre of fools then stopped in their tracks
As Skaifie collapsed, convulsed and then fouled his dacks
“What do we do?” Whined Murphy to Grice
But it was too late now for thinking twice

Downed Brockie! downed Murphy!
Downed, Gricie and Firth!
All fell off their feet!
Now to chase Perkins into the street!
Ill Sue! Ill Sue!
He squirmed on his belly
Crying real tears as I then tazered Kelly

My wife called the cops, when she witnessed the fight
and I was hauled down the station, a terrible plight
into the court I stood before I could flee
“Is that the man that tazed you?” the lawyer asked, pointing at me

“That's him right there!” their voices all chimed
Except Handbag of course who continued to whine
“He tazed me in the groin!” he cried to the court
While those in the gallery did giggle and snort

But before the Judge could retain his composure
Murph revealed his crotch in total exposure
Uproar! Screams! The court was in fits!
While my sheister lawyer got the case dismissed!

Christmas was funded when I then counter sued
All of Perkins lawyers knew they were screwed
For mental anguish I demanded 10 grand or larger
Screw the tree I thought, that's a supercharger.
__________________

1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan
1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack
2003 BA Fairlane G220

Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM

Sourbastard is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 01:10 PM   #65
Sourbastard
Moderator
Contributing Member
 
Sourbastard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
Default

by the way you cant read it until christmas.
__________________

1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan
1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack
2003 BA Fairlane G220

Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM

Sourbastard is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 01:45 PM   #66
GasoLane
Former BTIKD
Donating Member2
 
GasoLane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sunny Downtown Wagga Wagga. NSW.
Posts: 53,197
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sourbastard
by the way you cant read it until christmas.
Well, a number of places were celebrating Christmas in July....so
__________________
Dying at your job is natures way of saying that you're in the wrong line of work.
GasoLane is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 06:06 PM   #67
LUXO_8
windsor user
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Geelong
Posts: 13,123
Default

thats gold
LUXO_8 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 06:11 PM   #68
XR6_661
Cane Farmer
 
XR6_661's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Tom Price, WA
Posts: 4,056
Default

hahahaha pure win
__________________

1994 ED XR6T - Cobalt Blue.



2009 FG XR6 - Black.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tex
I couldn't give a crap how many are in their family, what gay passtimes they paticipate in, or whether they have a cat, dog or a freaken fish.

Keep your stinking family to yourself god damn it.
XR6_661 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 07:45 PM   #69
LOWBA6
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 802
Default

ROFL!!!! Thats absolute gold!
LOWBA6 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 09:12 PM   #70
Burnout
Falcon RTV - FG G6ET
Donating Member3
 
Burnout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: In Da Bush, QLD
Posts: 31,680
Default

Thanks Dave, another ripper.
__________________
BAII RTV - with Raptor V S/C.

RTV Power
FG G6ET 50th Anniversary in Sensation.
While the basic Ford Six was code named Barra, the Turbo version clearly deserved its very own moniker – again enter Gordon Barfield.
We asked him if the engine had actually been called “Seagull” and how that came about.
“Actually it was just call “Gull”, because I named it that. Because we knew it was going to poo on everything”.
Burnout is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 09:27 PM   #71
fmc351
let it burn
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: QUEENSLANDER!!!!!
Posts: 2,866
Default

Christmas? ....bugger
fmc351 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 11:12 PM   #72
sgt_doofey
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
sgt_doofey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Barossa Valley, South Australia
Posts: 3,381
Default

How does one set up an automatic thread mine for Christmas Eve?
Good one Uncle SB!
__________________
Cheers,
Sam.
sgt_doofey is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 07-10-2010, 11:37 PM   #73
Grippy
Racing improves the breed
 
Grippy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: SE Melbourne
Posts: 3,982
Default

Bahaha! Awesome, thanks SB!
__________________
1970 Mini Cooper S Historic Group Nc Touring car

1964 Mini Cooper S Historic Group Nb Touring car

2024 Subaru Outback Touring XT

Victorian Hill Climb Championship
Grippy is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 08-10-2010, 02:14 AM   #74
FGX-351
Supercharged Mang-mobile
 
FGX-351's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Behind the wheel
Posts: 1,792
Default

lol was wondering why this was uptop in the bar, I'm not due to thread mine it for another 2 months. :P
__________________
09/00 VX HSV XU6 Build #0001 of 0171
http://fordforums.com.au/showthread....09#post5571209
-- Best E/T: |14.982 @92.12mph | R/T:0.013 | 60' 2.213| 330: 6.283 | 1/8: 9.624 @ 73.17mph | 1000: 12.529 | 25Deg, N/A Hum, 1010mb | Willowbank Raceway 7/12/16

Tickford EL Falcon XR6 RIP
-- Factory Manual
-- Best E/T: |14.991 @ 92.71mph | R/T: 0.607 | 60': 2.215 | 660': 9.665 |13Deg, 86%H, 1024mb, 184RA @ Willowbank Raceway
FGX-351 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 08-10-2010, 01:50 PM   #75
Iggypoppin'
Chasing a FORD project!
 
Iggypoppin''s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: adelaide
Posts: 5,114
Default

Bastard you're a champ, that's funny as!!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by HSE2
Today we might get beaten at some of our own game. Tomorrow we reinvent it.
Game. Reinvented.

1996 BMW 740iL V8. TV, phone, leather, sunroof, satnav, all as standard. Now with 19" TSW Brooklands, 2 1/2" stainless steel exhaust, plus more coming soon.
Iggypoppin' is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 08-10-2010, 02:16 PM   #76
auxr
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
auxr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 727
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sourbastard
by the way you cant read it until christmas.
I snuck in under the tree and opened it, re wrapped it and then put it back.
Trust me, I didn't see what was inside.


Your a champ - thanks again for another bottler.
auxr is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 20-12-2010, 04:37 PM   #77
FGX-351
Supercharged Mang-mobile
 
FGX-351's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Behind the wheel
Posts: 1,792
Default

Revived!
__________________
09/00 VX HSV XU6 Build #0001 of 0171
http://fordforums.com.au/showthread....09#post5571209
-- Best E/T: |14.982 @92.12mph | R/T:0.013 | 60' 2.213| 330: 6.283 | 1/8: 9.624 @ 73.17mph | 1000: 12.529 | 25Deg, N/A Hum, 1010mb | Willowbank Raceway 7/12/16

Tickford EL Falcon XR6 RIP
-- Factory Manual
-- Best E/T: |14.991 @ 92.71mph | R/T: 0.607 | 60': 2.215 | 660': 9.665 |13Deg, 86%H, 1024mb, 184RA @ Willowbank Raceway
FGX-351 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 05-12-2011, 12:08 AM   #78
FGX-351
Supercharged Mang-mobile
 
FGX-351's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Behind the wheel
Posts: 1,792
Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Ho Ho Ho!
__________________
09/00 VX HSV XU6 Build #0001 of 0171
http://fordforums.com.au/showthread....09#post5571209
-- Best E/T: |14.982 @92.12mph | R/T:0.013 | 60' 2.213| 330: 6.283 | 1/8: 9.624 @ 73.17mph | 1000: 12.529 | 25Deg, N/A Hum, 1010mb | Willowbank Raceway 7/12/16

Tickford EL Falcon XR6 RIP
-- Factory Manual
-- Best E/T: |14.991 @ 92.71mph | R/T: 0.607 | 60': 2.215 | 660': 9.665 |13Deg, 86%H, 1024mb, 184RA @ Willowbank Raceway
FGX-351 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 05-12-2011, 12:19 AM   #79
XRGhia
meh.
Donating Member3
 
XRGhia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Was Central Coast, Now Sydney NSW
Posts: 8,584
Technical Contributor: For members who share their technical expertise. - Issue reason: Contributions in the technical arena. 
Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Hahaha.... Absolute Gold, even after 6 years...!
__________________
Previous - BF XR6T - 325rwkw, 6 Speed Auto, Process West, X-Force and Turbosmart gear
XRGhia is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 05-12-2011, 12:25 AM   #80
grandpa_spec_F6
AFF Whore
 
grandpa_spec_F6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In between gas stations
Posts: 2,246
Tech Writer: Recognition for the technical writers of AFF - Issue reason: Writing tech articles 
Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

encoure!
__________________
Favorite Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Damo View Post
My GMC Sierra is banned under Victoria's high powered vehicle laws, and its a 4082kg apartment complex on wheels.
Current Ride: Not a falcon, the struggle is real
grandpa_spec_F6 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 01-12-2013, 12:27 PM   #81
Sourbastard
Moderator
Contributing Member
 
Sourbastard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Thread Mining for fun and profit.
__________________

1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan
1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack
2003 BA Fairlane G220

Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM

Sourbastard is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 02-12-2013, 09:39 AM   #82
TheSneakiness
Adapt or perish...
 
TheSneakiness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Dip!@#$
Posts: 7,954
Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sourbastard View Post
Thread Mining for fun and profit.
*faints at the sight of an SB post*
__________________
Carless
TheSneakiness is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 02-12-2013, 05:52 PM   #83
Sourbastard
Moderator
Contributing Member
 
Sourbastard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Its all an illusion.
__________________

1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan
1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack
2003 BA Fairlane G220

Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM

Sourbastard is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
2 users like this post:
Old 08-12-2013, 08:01 AM   #84
sgt_doofey
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
sgt_doofey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Barossa Valley, South Australia
Posts: 3,381
Default

Aren't we due for a third installment Uncle SB?

Sent from my GT-P5110 using Tapatalk
__________________
Cheers,
Sam.
sgt_doofey is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
This user likes this post:
Old 24-12-2019, 03:22 PM   #85
Martyvan
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Martyvan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane North
Posts: 1,994
Default Re: The Night Before Christmas

Surely we can wrap the decade with third installment? I never actually realised the original original was from 2005..... my how the years have flown by!
Martyvan is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Reply


Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 10:25 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Other than what is legally copyrighted by the respective owners, this site is copyright www.fordforums.com.au
Positive SSL