the "ridiculous things ppl have told you" thread

[Smoked]

Originally Posted by AU-MUSTD

When buying wifes subaru sales lady told me how reliable boxer engines are because they dont have a sump and the rings are constantly laying flat in the engine oil.

Well, the bit about no having a sump is partially true, as is the ring on laying flat, but how that helps relaibility is beyond me.

Originally Posted by AU-MUSTD

She then went on to tell me not to buy a territory because the suspension/ chassis were a 15 year old design just with a new top and they drive horrible

Becauses Control Blade IRS introduced in 2002 is 15 years old, thats classic.

[clontarf_x]

Originally Posted by Smoked

Well, the bit about no having a sump is partially true, as is the ring on laying flat, but how that helps relaibility is beyond me.

I reckon if a sales lady knows that kind of information she is gonna be able to sell a ИИИИload of cars to a ИИИИload of blokes and probably receive a few marriage proposals

[GRNKPR]

Originally Posted by MADNC_8

got a beer guts? its the same thing...aparently

its not just from beer : : : :

[FGX-351]

"give peace a chance"
ha! what a load:

[Group C]

A friend of a friend 'apparently' had an ORIGINAL XD Falcon with a 454(!!) V8 in it... but 2 things always got to me over it.

1. you NEVER saw it, because it was at this mate's house, or that shop getting something, or his old man was using it..., and
2. it's specs were forever changing.

The best spec was that it had an auto with a clutch pedal, so you could go into reverse that any speed under 100km/h... :
Was supposed to be something the coppers wanted in the patrol/highway cars, so they could get infront of a car they were chasing, and 'SLAM'(his words, not mine) it into reverse, so it would stop quicker... :


Another was a girl I knew through an old job.
When she found out that I'm involved in circuit racing, she MIRACULOUSLY had a B/F who was a champion rally driver, who had won this, that and everything in between, including a particular year's Vic. Championship.
The funny thing was that the year she said was the year that one of my BEST mates won it, with ME as part of his service crew, and his name didn't even list in ANY of the event's entry lists, let alone any wins at any events, and NOBODY has ever heard of him in racing OR rallying circles!!
Anyway, when I asked her if she was sure of the year, because of who I am and who I know, she accused me of calling her a liar! :

[2kool4u]

I have a freind who is constantly saying things soo stupid you feel sory for him, a few golden ones so far

He told me that a few weeks after his mum bought her 00 corolla they took it in to get serviced, at which point he payed the guy to install this liquid stuff that makes the pistons go psycho and linked it to the overdrive button, so when overdrive is disengaged the liquid is fed into the engine, he said his mum never noticed it and not to mention it to her :

An SV6 is faster than a clubsport

the grandmaster of his martial-arts stuff in china has diplomatic imunity and is allowed to kill people if he wishes.

he has proof his family ounded the use of the word darr (like darr, no sh#t) because his mums last name is dar. Man he got paid out when he said that in class.

thats just a few, i'd add more but its bed time for young children such as myself, I have to go to tafe in the morning

[GRNKPR]

a fair bit of it comes from these forums as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rollin]

indexing spark plugs nets you .3 of a second down the quarter apparently....

[ltd]

"Bob Carr is a good bloke"

Sorry, had to throw that one in.

Fun Fact: Did you know Bob had an elder brother named Neil (Neil and Bob)

[Ringo]

My brother-in-law is a good one for these. He is a 20 year old loser with no hopes and no knowledge but lots of talk. He's got a VN Commodore which he is slowly destroying with abuse.

He knows am a mechanic but he has told me:

His VN has a mini spool fitted.....I ask him what's a mini spool?.....he says "I don't know....but its got one"

His VN will do 220 kph.....almost believeable

It accelerates 'hard' from 180kph to 220kph......bulltish alert

That the cops pick on him unfairly.....(picture a crapy multicoulred VN, lowered to the bumpstops, music blaring and speeding...would you pull him over?)

He also told everyone that the tyre which he delaminated was a retread that 'just started flapping' while he was driving down the road....it wasn't a retread and he should have cleaned the bits of burnt rubber from underneath the rear guards before telling that one...and hidden the tyre

Anytime he asks to borrow money and he will 'pay you back'......

In fact anything that he says 'wasn't his fault because.....'

[TheSneakiness]

My brother wouldn't believe me when I told him I could get a 5.0 EFI Windsor for less than $3000.

When I told him I could, he said "It's stolen"...

Should've told him it would've come out of an EB...

[Dezza]

My friend wrote off his R33 Skyline because going around a roundabout, he accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake. Now who brakes IN the roundabout, rather than before it? BTW, he's an absolute leadfoot.

[darkfang888]

Stupidest thing I've heard is from an idiot who tried to convince me that his entry-level VN Commodore is better than my EAII Fairmont. Yeah, right.

[AWD Chaser]

NISMO sticker down the side of a celica - might have got it tuned at NISMO?

[TuMor]

Originally Posted by darkfang888

Stupidest thing I've heard is from an idiot who tried to convince me that his entry-level VN Commodore is better than my EAII Fairmont. Yeah, right.

Id've thought that'd be a fairly close race if both cars were stock.

[FGX-351]

Originally Posted by TuMor

Id've thought that'd be a fairly close race if both cars were stock.

i think he means standard equipment dude

i just remembered another one that i had recently, one night out side at the skate centre my friends and myself were all sitting outside and the known to be quite the artist with bulltihs comes and sits with us, first it starts off with my xf getting bagged then it he starts on all holdens being faster then fords and that if i think other wise i can go ask all his vn owner friends at the milton maccas, i have a short fuse for tools so by this stage ild had enough first i told him how my 85 xf is in everyway a better package then his dirty old tarago and then i asked him why the hell would i wanna go to milton maccas and listen to bogans compare whose 3.8 has the most rattles so after making fun of him for abit he started telling me his new car was way faster then mine, its a 94 180sx and its got nos and everything lol and then after that he was telling us about his friends rx7 that does 6 flat quarter mile and by this stage my friends started telling him to give up hes only lookin more stupid so then what does he do? well im gonna tell ya, he tells us about his mates supra which is the fastest supra in the world and is the 5th fastest import or something in the world so i interrupted and said oh and let me guess this one does flat 4's so then after we all laughed at the silly look on his face after that one he was telling us that nothing can beat 6seconds down the quarter mile or something like that(top fuelers can cant they?) and then he eventually ran out of cow poo poo and went inside to all of us laughing at him. hmph damn ricer fags

[Dezza]

Originally Posted by au3 chaser

NISMO sticker down the side of a celica - might have got it tuned at NISMO?

What, did they swap the Toyota parts for Nissan ones?

[BA GT-HO]

A friend of mine commenting about a mate's Skyline GTS-T

"But his car isn't turbo is it, I thought it only had boost?"

WTF!

:

[Full Spectrum]

My brothers ex employer swapped a old wooden boat that was rotten for a 92 VP Calais with RWC.
In 3 weeks the car was a right off he had 3 smashes. The boat was worthless but the car WAS perfect.

Another is my friend has 5 DVD players, When one day a new light and gas company came knocking a the door, They said no thanks but when they were told they could get a free DVD player:p here comes number 6 and they only have 2 TV's.

One of my brothers mates used to get a lift to work with him for about 12 months, This was in his old EFII Ghia 6. And all along he thought he had a V8 : I guess the Inline6 badge he had didn't ring a bell over 12 months.

[KTASTRPHE]

I just traded in my old VS 355 ute, and one of my mates decided to see if he could take it for a test drive from the car yard trying to sell it (just for a laugh). He asked them what they could tell him about the car. The salesman said it had a stroker and added "whatever that means". Good to see these guys know what they are talking about.

[Firefox7]

Pulled into a garage one day to put some fuel in my car, and another motorist walked up and said "wow thats a nice ferrari" is it their latest one out_ ....he was dead serious too.



Cheers

[460cixy]

i work for a ford dealer here that has a second hand section next door. a bloke i work with was intrested in a silvia thay had for sale. the sales bloke came in to the work shop trying to tell us it had 250rwkw and its got this and that ect ect the car was stock and he was laughed out of the workshop and left about 3 days later tool

[Full Spectrum]

Originally Posted by KTASTRPHE

I just traded in my old VS 355 ute, and one of my mates decided to see if he could take it for a test drive from the car yard trying to sell it (just for a laugh). He asked them what they could tell him about the car. The salesman said it had a stroker and added "whatever that means". Good to see these guys know what they are talking about.

Sounds like my brothers old car. EFII Ghia, With 5 speed manual and LSD, All fitted by his mate, When he sold it i found it on the net, It was Tickford wheels? Herrod enhanced rare manual so rare the Factory Computer doesn't recognise it it said.
It had 18" BA XR optional rims and herrod badge thats it
Thats how they sell cars.
They gave him $6000 for it and sold it for $10,000.

[huggiebear]

i have had a few mates try and tell me how fast/slow my car is, yet they have never driven one.

i have a mate who knows sweet *uck all about cars but seems to want to tell me what cars came out with what...

like he bought a capri convertable fitted with a B6 motor, decided to tell me its a twin cam BP motor and the only difference between his motor and the BPT is the turbo. i would then tell him about the stronger turbo box, the stronger pistons, the extra few sensors and the DIFFERENT COMPUTER to run the bloody thing...

his reply was "yeah but basically its the same motor"

oh the list can go on for hours

[huggiebear]

oh and one i found out which alot of people would have heard of. ALTED PERFORMANCE stated: the PPG (poverty pack ghia, owned by striker from fastfords.org) will the the car to make alted performance. this car will be a 180rwkw NA EB.

dont get me wrong it had its good moments like when we iced the modified VK with minimum 308 in it, full bodykit ect. the drivers face was priceless.

also when striker and antony from alted performance raced on the highway striker won with his handbrake ON!!! now the alted XR6 (replica) had a EL tickford motor with alted stage 1 cam, 5 speed LSD ect

now when we got the car to sydney we ran into issues so i stripped the motor.

now from this apparent mechanic who has been working on these motors for 10 years put these parts into a 180rwkw falcon

STOCK ED bottom end, STOCK head which had the intake side "bore out" with a DREMEL!!! which as he quoted took him 6 hours per cylinder HAHAHHA

the ONLY thing modified in the whole car was the cam, which wasnt the alted stage 1 he quoted (no one can tell me what it actually is)

its funny how so called mechanics cal tell you a whole lot of B.S and you can still put them in their place and shut them down it made me feel better

[Smoked]

Originally Posted by The-ShowStoPPa

...dont get me wrong this 3.8v6 is pretty special, it does come with the popular shake rattle and roll option and the auto compliments this with the ever popular snap crackle and pop feature

whoa, thats awesome

[Falc'man]

Went to get company car (VY) serviced at a Holden dealer. While I was there, I thought I take a VE for a test drive.

Salesman: "Oh you'll love it, its so European, just like an Audi, blah blah blah."

When I came back from the test drive, he asks. "So, how was it? Did you like it?"

"Well" I said
"I'm quite dissapointed, not impressed at all. You tell me its like an Audi, but an Audi is alot smoother and better than this. Its nothing like an Audi."
"Mate," he says "Audis are *****. The Commodore is heaps better"
Then I asked him "why tell me its like an Audi, if Audi's are *****?"
He was then ushered away by another salesperson.



Another one.
A workmate - who by the way just sold his Phase III for $300,000. (And yes, the reason we never saw it was because it was garaged at his mates secret property in the middle of God knows where) - told me his brother had a BA GTP with a 6 speed Hollinger gearbox out of a V8 supercar. Hmmm.
And his previous AU3 from another company he used to work for had the Barra 182kW motor in it.
And when he used to own an XB GT, Ford approached him to buy it back off him because it the only black one ever made and they wanted to put in their museum of special cars.

[Casper]

The other morning I was feeding the AU at the local Mobil servo when a guy approched me and complimented my wheels (all good so far). He then asked the usual "didnt know XR6's existed till the BA" question of "is it a turbo??". When I said no he commented his brother/mother/whatever (I was hanging up the pump, didnt clearly hear) had one from new that was a turbo. When I said "must be a BA" he said "no, it was one of these, looks exactly the same".

Just another no clue dreamer who thinks all XR6's models came with turbo's.

[jabba]

Originally Posted by Firefox7

Pulled into a garage one day to put some fuel in my car, and another motorist walked up and said "wow thats a nice ferrari" is it their latest one out_ ....he was dead serious too.



Cheers

Ha ha.. I hope you led him on for a while. Then at the end of the conversation point to the Ford badge.... Classic

[robjh80]

Dealer told me that the slots in the dash on the Fiesta was a microphone for handsfree mobile, "yea he says, plug ya mobile into that socket thingy (he had no idea it was actually an mp3 input socket), and talk into the microphone", "pretty cool hey he says".........the so called microphone is actually a coin holder!!