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Old 04-01-2006, 11:03 AM   #91
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This thread is hilarious.

Whilst changing diff and trans oil on the patrol I decided that may as well drain engine oil in pan as well. 20 odd litres of oil is quite unstable when you accidently stub your toe on the hoist. End result - oil shower and spending some time cleaning up mate's hoist.
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Old 04-01-2006, 11:30 AM   #92
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My biggest mistake was letting the Mrs's clean my organised mess, took me months to get it back in order !
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Old 04-01-2006, 11:46 AM   #93
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Heh, can we dob in other Forum members? :P
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Old 04-01-2006, 11:56 AM   #94
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hell yes we can Gammaboy
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Old 04-01-2006, 12:15 PM   #95
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After snapping 3 teeth off third gear in the XD i went down to the wreakers to get a new gearbox, but they only had a 302 gear box and not a 351. besides being slightly different ratios i thought it was all the same and would fit no worries. well it all went together nicely until i took it for a test drive and the cluch was slipping realy bad. after removing the gearbox and putting it back in 3 times in a week I realised that the main bearing retainer was about 5 mm bigger than the old one and so the clutch would get stuck on it. swapped it around with the old one and all was sweet
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Old 04-01-2006, 12:32 PM   #96
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I dont feel such an idiot any more after reading some of these.

My best 2 are:

I couldnt get the rear brake calipers out of an EF. Tried for hours, using hammers to get the calipers off the rotors, only to find out that I left the hand brake on.......real tight

On a 68 Triumph, asking my father how tight should I tighten the spark plugs only to hear them go CRACK & the top of the plug was still in the socket.....
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Old 04-01-2006, 12:44 PM   #97
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Heh, ok, well, a certain Forum member needed to replace his sump gasket, and was having difficulties getting the engine clear of its mounts.... "So I've put it up on RAMPS, and every time I jack the bottom of the motor up, it pulls the car up with it (A 70's Clevo powered fairlane no less!), all the mounts are undone and everything.... I just can't jack it up high enough..."

(Of course, when you're lifting a clevo out, the suspension goes full travel :P, Use Jackstands Chief!)

Of course, i won't mention the fun with wheelnuts :P

I think my best goof was recently...
I'd just broken in the new cam and set the clutch line on fire, and had finished refitting the inner valve springs, was going through the process of refitting rockers and pushrods.. and dropped one down into the valley. $%^&^%&^%. kept going, fitted 2 more rockers/rods fine, dropped another one. ^&$&*&^(*&*. ok. no big issue. continued.... 3 more rockers/rods... and a 3rd pushrod goes down. ^$*^(*&()&)(*&&^!!!!!
OK, fit the last couple of rockers/rods fine. sit and stare at the damn thing. Its 11:00pm, friday night, Forums National Dyno day the next day.... If i kill the intake gaskets, no new ones from CHI till tuesday :@ I know they're brand new re-useables, but i'm at a point where i'm ready to push the car into the street and set fire to it... had been thrashing on it for 6 days straight, early till late.... And of course, we're doing it in the middle of 347Stroker moving houses, so all the tools i wasn't using have dissapeared to the new house.... at which point, one of Matts neighbours saunters in and says "Do you want to borrow my magnet on a stick?" (I think he heard me swearing from 3 doors down :P)
Guess you had to be there :P
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Old 04-01-2006, 01:17 PM   #98
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I don't usually make mistakes : and its still a contentious issue but once upon a time I owned a Gemini. And once upon a time I dropped a new engine into it. During this engine swap, somebody who has yet to be identified, (my cousin still maintains he told me to do it!). forgot to properly connect the earth strap to the block. What's so bad about this you say? Well after we had connected everything but the earth strap to the block we decided to start the engine and see if she fired up. I get in and turn the key. I crank and crank and crank yet no starting! Cousin yells out "TRY AGAIN!". So I crank really long and hard this time... and then smoke starts to come out of the voltage regulator! Both my cousin and I are running around swearing our heads off trying to find the pliars to pull the negative terminal off the battery.

Eventually I find the pliars and remove the terminal and eventually we discover the earth strap just sitting there doing bugger all. Luckily for me the voltage regulator was AOK (apart from some burnt plastic insulation on the wires)! Even to this day it still works fine.

The end.
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Old 04-01-2006, 01:26 PM   #99
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Theres nothing worse than fitting a stereo in a tight space (commodore) and then putting it all back together with bleeding hands and all. then realise i didnt plug in the loom or the arel.

pull it out plug in loom, put it back together.

pull it out plug in Arel.

charge customer for blood transfusion.

And the usual leaving lecky tape on engine covers and so forth.
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Old 04-01-2006, 05:04 PM   #100
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This thread is very entertaining. My list is sooooo long its embarrasing but I was an apprentice working on German Prestige vehicles at a dealership. No names so don't ask.

Here's a brief summary:

Pranged the boss's car in the carpark - bumper hanging off it and dent in the fender. Went straight to office to tell the Service Manager. In the mean time Boss wanders around the dealership and found his damaged car and proceeded to yell at Service Manager like he did it........The detailers gave me a standing ovation a little later in the day when I passed by.

After working on an auto i needed to check the auto oil level with the engine running. I started the car by sticking my hand through the driver window but it was already in drive while on the t-shift it is in Neutral (yes it is possible in an 80's German Prestige Car)....It proceed to drive straight into my metal work bench buggering a bumper, bonnet and ego (missed my collegues and tool box....sooooo lucky)

Set fire to an engine bay by over filling the hydralic brake booster/power steer system with hydraulic oil....lots a smoke, and yelling, and more smoke and a fire extenghisher.....mmmmmmm yep that was a good day

I pushed a disabled 4 cyl car by myself into the car park - with some momentum up I quickly jumped into the driver seat to steer it into a spot.....and pushed the clutch pedal instead of the brake pedal and hit the wall at walking pace.....didn't do any damage and got away with it too....gotta love those impact absorbing bumpers....gave myself a headache from hitting the steering wheel with my head though.....ouch.

And I too have left a sump plug loose.....lunched one 4 cyl engine.

The rest of my history is just run of the mill stoopidity already covered off by others (cars falling of jacks, hitting yourself in the face, getting bitten by the ignition coil etc) - no I don't spin the spanners anymore. I use my powers for good instead of evil
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Old 05-01-2006, 08:14 AM   #101
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OK - here is more stuff done by others - not by me....

Dropped a small nut down into an engine....didn't worry about where it went and just found another nut to finish the job - stated the car only to find the small nut went down the spark plug hole and was rattling around in no. 5 cylinder....ouch. Customer was told his car had done a headgasket and we needed it for a few more days. Customer didn't ask any questions as to why you need to remove the gine to do a headgasket when he came into to grab some papers from the car only to see the engine being hoisted out of the car in preperation for dimantaling to fit new pistons....

Resident 'FIGJAM' mechanic (need a translation? F.ck I'm Good Just Ask Me) told me that the best thing for setting new sump gaskets is to spray it upholstery glue. 'Never leak' he tells me. Pulls off the sump, fits the new gasket and then spreays the lot with the glue. FIGJAM then puts alloy sump back on block using his new 'time saving' 'you beaut' mini butterlfy 3/8 drive rattle gun. Fills engine with 5l of new oil and goes home on time.
He comes in next morning to find 3l of fresh oil on the ground cause he split the new gasket from over tightening the bolts with his new 'time saving' 'you beaut' mini rattle gun. He spends the rest of the day scrapping and grinding off the split gasket from the alloy sump because that upholstery glue is strooooong stuff.

FIGJAM also loves playing the jokes on the apprentices and work experience kids. Tried to send me off for a box of sparks for the spark plugs once...get the picture? Anyway FIGJAM calls over the the work experience kid from moping floors and tells him to go to the muffler shop down the road for a 'long wait'. Kid has no idea as to the joke and wanders off happily with his important task. Kid comes back 30 minutes later dragging a 4 metre BHP steel gurder - drops it off at FIGJAM's feet and says 'here's your long wait' and goes back to the mopping the floor none the wiser. We are all on the ground laughing as the foreman goes over to FIGJAM, puts a hand on his shoulder and said 'you got what you asked for.....and you can take that back after work OK?'......
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Old 05-01-2006, 03:46 PM   #102
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at skool our shop teacher used the long wait trick
as well as left handed screwdriver and sky hooks lol
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Old 05-01-2006, 04:59 PM   #103
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Last year I was laboring and was aked for a left handed hammer. Gave me the keys to his work ute and $20. Went to the city (about an hours drive) from where we were to the left handed shop bought the hammer spent the rest of the day at the pub and used the change to buy my 2 drinks. Went back later in the day with the hammer. That is what he gets for asking for for something dumb.

Trying to grind some steel using a cuting disk not a grinding disk.

On another ffau members car: holding the front bumber on with a plastic bag, and the rear bumber on with a shoe lace and block of wood.
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Old 05-01-2006, 05:00 PM   #104
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Ask Racecraft about mine.
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Old 05-01-2006, 09:08 PM   #105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AUII_SE_Ute
Ask Racecraft about mine.

OK, I'll bite.
Tell us Racecraft!
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Old 05-01-2006, 09:09 PM   #106
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I thought of another one I did, not car related but part of the garage.

Had to work late on a friday so i was told to turn off the compressor. Forgot about it and went home. The oil supply system is pressurised by the compressor. Went to work on monday morning to find apprentices and mechanics cleaning the floor. At some point during the weekend one of the oil lines in the roof of the workshop had burst and covered the entire floor with engine oil. Ended up costing the company $1000 in oil.
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Old 05-01-2006, 09:58 PM   #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davway
my dumbest mistake was when i had the VL (mistake 1) reversed into the shed. the enterance to the shed slopes downwards, and the front wheels were on this slope. i was going to change the rear shocks so i put it in gear and applied the handbrake to stop it rolling. this was all good till i was laying on the ground, positioning the jack underneath, when i decided that if i jack it up from the centre of the diff i could get to both side at the same time instead of jacking it up again.
well there i was, laying on my back, jacking the car up and BOTH the rear wheels have left the ground. naturally being a trolley jack, the car has decided that it would like to start rolling out of the shed and there wasnt much i could do about it except for trying to reach a screw driver to release the jack back down. there i was, holding a whole car with one hand stopping it rolling away and trying to let it down at the same time....and there was no one else home either so i was Fu%ked!!
managed to let it down before it got away but that was adumb lesson learned VERY quickly!!
Sounds worse than that Hot Donut mate hehehehehe
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Old 05-01-2006, 10:20 PM   #108
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PMSL.......and not feeling soo bad about all the stupid things I have done.

a notable mention is laying under a car (on stands) loosening a handbrake cable, dirt falls in my eye.........I tried to sit up out of instinct and belted my head on the floorpan........as if thats not bad enough I recoiled from that impact and mashed my head into the concrete......had a headache for about 3 days

when doing a head on an EA Falcon, watched a lifter fall out of the tappet and down the oil gallery.........never having taken much notice thought I could pull the sump off and fish it out (lmao as if) pulled the motor out dropped the sump, no lifter, search through out motor nothing!!! found it wedged in the plenum when i was reinstalling the motor!!!! DOH!!

Letting my Mum buy an EA was also a silly garage mistake!!!!

After flooding a motor don't pull a lead off and check for spark against the air cleaner!!!

Lending tools would have to be my most costly garage mistake!!!

Why do we have to check that something we know is going to be really hot, is in fact really hot by touching it?

Welding a bench together in a shadehouse (damp ground) I decided to change the electrode without turning off the welder, metal bench on damp ground with earth connected + fool kneeling on the ground now latched onto electrode = about a minute wait while my friend decided to unplugg the welder...........was not fun and in reality should be gratefull i survived that one.

And last but not least more something interesting.....I have never had a shock off a twelve volt circuit even touching the terminals on a truck battery.........since I had the plates and screwsinstalled in my hip, I'm even getting shocks from AA batteries? WTF?
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Old 05-01-2006, 10:34 PM   #109
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M14A-Mclaren
Lol, there was this guy at my auto class at school, his brakes were squealing so he put some oil on his discs.
I spent a couple of years in PNG. Saw pretty much the same thing. I was walking down the street and saw one of the locals with his car jacked up, pouring brake fluid over one of the rotors...
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Old 05-01-2006, 10:49 PM   #110
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rrpilot




Welding a bench together in a shadehouse (damp ground) I decided to change the electrode without turning off the welder, metal bench on damp ground with earth connected + fool kneeling on the ground now latched onto electrode = about a minute wait while my friend decided to unplugg the welder...........was not fun and in reality should be gratefull i survived that one.
Ive been under a car welding a broken towbar bracket, i went to change the electrode, and whilst spinning it around poked myself in the temple whilst i was grounded to the chassis...
Now that smarts..
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I know what lengths they go to to ensure it's more than just a Ford sticker on the part. Ford doesn't throw it's name on anything for a quick buck.
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Old 05-01-2006, 10:56 PM   #111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rrpilot
And last but not least more something interesting.....I have never had a shock off a twelve volt circuit even touching the terminals on a truck battery.........since I had the plates and screwsinstalled in my hip, I'm even getting shocks from AA batteries? WTF?
Yeah, this has something to do with the fact that skin is quite a good insulator for small voltages and therefore u only start to feel 40 volts plus with dry hands. Of course if you put some batteries on a open wound you will feel it, also try the 9volt battery on the tongue. Now that you have metal into your bones my guess is that it helps carry the electricity through your system alot better through ur nerves.
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Old 06-01-2006, 12:44 PM   #112
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FIREDANCING.
it is amazing what you can forget . middle of winter freezing cold, went to do some welding in the workshop. any welder knows when you are having a really good weld run you dont stop until the rod is finished or the weld comes to an end so the job looks tidy.( even when your gloves are getting hot you will bare the pain for the last inch of a weld right . ) on this day this is exactly what i was doing except i forgot to take my nylon parker off it was getting hotter and hotter brighter and brighter till i had to stop. when the weld stopped the brightness didnt nor the pain my parker was engulfeds in flames . had to get welding gloves off so i coud try to remove parker . failing miserably i proceeded to FIREDANCE WHILST SINGING A WHALING SONG. fat guy does 100metre dash and pulls off parker.my overalls saved me . just a very burnt ego for a while.
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Old 06-01-2006, 04:10 PM   #113
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My first car was fitted with the 2.6 liter Astron 4 cylinder engine. The car and engine were both tired when I purchased the car in my late teens. One of the problems which used to annoy me was that a lot of oil fumes used to accumulate in the air filter. This would result in sump oil making a mess of the air filter.

After having to clean this area often and change the air filter a number of times I got fed up with the situation. So I decided to detach the hose which fed the fumes from the engine into the air filter and let the free end dangle in the engine bay. This solved one problem but caused another one. My engine bay became very dirty due to the oil fumes.

So one day a had a 'bright' idea. To stop the oil fumes from making such a mess I taped up the free end of the hose which was originally connected to the air cleaner.

I got into the car, backed it out of the driveway and then proceeded to drive the car. I only travelled approximately 100 meters from home when there was a loud bang under the bonnet. I pulled over immediately and opened the bonnet. I found that the pressure in the engine had built up so much that it blew the cap off the rocker cover and a large quantity of sump oil had also come out and was all over the engine bay. Doh! Lucky for me the cap was a push on and not a screw on type otherwise who knows where the pressure would have been released.

I removed the tape from the hose, reconnected the hose to the air cleaner and drove the car home. And I left the hose connected for the remainder of the time I owned that car.

FF
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Old 06-01-2006, 07:25 PM   #114
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doing plugs, leads and oil change on my eb 3.9 mpfi... first took off the oil filter, then took off the air flow sensor to gain a bit more access to the leads... getting carried away with the leads, started the car to check they were on properly... car went of its tree, hit the limiter, oil ИИИИed out everywhere and it took me about ten seconds to realise... oil all over driveway, me and engine bay...

second one, on a mates r32, doing a clutch... had it up on ramps, had to rip bar off to get it up...
couldnt figure out why the talishaft wouldnt turn... ill let yall figure it out...
just to name a few, dont want to let out what ive done at work...
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Old 07-01-2006, 12:14 AM   #115
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Yep, done the oil change without sump plug thing.
Modifiying battery bracket without removing battery on the race car and drilling a 5/16 hole right through a $350 race battery :
And the classic!
Mate was tuning 360 Charger on chassis dyno when it broke a return spring,
jumped off the rollers,did the biggest burnout across the factory and went right through the back wall. Nearly 60 grands worth of damage :
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Old 07-01-2006, 12:27 AM   #116
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It took me 4 hours to bleed the clutch in an econovan once. Because I didn't notice it was sitting down the back, cause it was fully laden. Hence there was an air bubble stuck at the front of the master cylinder. Jacked up the back and bled it in a minute.
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Old 07-01-2006, 06:01 AM   #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueBAXR8
Mate was tuning 360 Charger on chassis dyno when it broke a return spring, jumped off the rollers,did the biggest burnout across the factory and went right through the back wall. Nearly 60 grands worth of damage :
Now that would of been a sight to see!
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Old 07-01-2006, 01:46 PM   #118
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ROFL great reading peoples, kept me entertained for the past hour atleast!
Here's a few of mine..
rebuilding holden red 6, split the harmonic balancer in half using a puller pack, pulled on the outer rim not the inner bolt holes.DUH!
hooked up a triple stromberg set up the wrong way, was on full throttle! interseting..
LJ torana balljoints, bleed more than anything else.
Set meself on fire while cutting up a 120y datsun with a 9inch grinder, had cut off jeans on, pulled a pair of 'those' parachute trackies on over the top, had the datto on its roof cutting through the floor pan, it got a bit warm in the testicular region, looking down, flames were around me armpit!
XR demo-derby car, fell off stack of bricks whilst welding in front end support brackets to chasis, scared the crap outa me.
Helping a mate move his freshly resprayed LH torry, 308, t350 trans, 9 inch rear, he got a loan of a trading plate to drive it to point B, he only had 3 occy straps holding the bonnet down, wasnt bolted to hinges... i was travelling behind him ...have you ever seen a bonnet fly like a kite? it went clean over the top of his car and mine, then skidded down the road on its top.. needless to say he needed a new bonnet...
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Old 07-01-2006, 01:53 PM   #119
TheSneakiness
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Ok, here's mine...

It involves a pump under loads and loads of pressure, transmission fluid and my head.
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Old 07-01-2006, 08:19 PM   #120
RegSpec
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
Now that would of been a sight to see!
I was sitting in the lunchroom when I heard the engine go to max revs then the screech of tyres. raced out in time to see the car ,with terrifyed apprentice at the wheel, smoke its way past me on its way towards the back wall. Apprentice just froze with fear and didnt even think to turn off the key.
Had to go down to Kennards and get every accroprop they had because due to Charger sized hole in the wall the building (brick)was declared unstable. :
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06' BF XR6T manual sedan in Bionic Blue.....written off 08/15......greatly missed...
New ride....07' RSpec manual Typhoon in Winter White....factory sunroof, Premium sound, Process West intercooler, upsized tubing, valve springs, 1000cc injectors, Delphi intank pump,*modified turbo, 4" dump, 5" cat, dual 2 1/2" Xforce exhaust, Mal Wood Opt 5 clutch, Herrod shifter, Ozrace coilovers with adj. Whiteline bars, 6 spot Brembos,
Edit by Crescent Motorsport.....382rwkws @ 1150nms on E85....
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