Feel like doing damage

[Cheese3]

Well i read 90% of the thread.

It actually made me sad, sorry to hear about the situation.

my advice.

I'm 25 now, and back when i was at school hitting back was normal and accepted as you need to defend yourself. now days kids are alot smarter and are exposed to alot more. Your kid might hit back and mop the bully but the next morning while the bully is eating his ceral, he might grab a knife out of the kitchen. I'm stunned with all the stories about stabbings and bashings. And its a range of kids. 14 year old boys stabbing in sydney or 12year old girls sexual abusing a kid that is mentally challenged. Society is stuffed and the media and so called "experts" are to blame aswell as the sheep parents who beleive them. Don't smack your kid this don't do that, and kids now know the rules they will run away and get the cops on their own parents. I was raised by the wooden spoon or belt, yes i hated it when i got it BUT i never got a smack that i didn't deserve. It was all warrented and i look back on it i am truely greatful for it, and if i ever have kids ill be doing the same.

Does your kid have any older cousins or relatives at the school? when i started hight school i had a cousin in year 10. On the first day at HS i was in line waiting for class, my cousin stormed upto me and grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and pinned me to the wall and said to me "if anyone picks on you, tell me, ill mop them for you because im the only one thats allowed to pick on you" and the scene he made while doing this, all my peers where scared shitless and were stunned.

Oh, me and my cousin are great friends, he knew what this scene would do and he looked after me. I never had anyone bother me, so never had to use my cousin.

[Kable72]

@Cheese3

That's kinda what happened to me in the end of my primary school years, I moved away from that hick town to Bundaberg where I had a bit of family. Went to a school where a number of my extended family attended and they pretty much did the same thing. They bullied me horribly because they're allowed to and I love them to pieces for it. It was all in good fun, hiding my bag, pushing in front of me at the tuckshop line. You know, stupid **** like that.

I remember one day it was year 10's vs Year 12's in a "friendly" game of American Football. My cousin being the tall but slender man he is, much like myself, was a wing runner (or whatever the position is called) as was I. Needless to say we had a few chops at each other and in some occasions just forgot the ball existed and ran at each other. Was all in good fun even though he targeted me for it lol.

Point is, I rarely, if ever, got bullied at that school because of family ties.

[blueoval]

This is a very interesting subject.

As an adopted, asian kid coming into a school who looked different and was often treated differently, I learned the hard way like most.

During the 80's and into the 90's the amount of taunts, jeers, racist and cruel comments often had me either scared, angry or dejected. It was part of life, and I only told my parents about this once and only once based on the way they treated the situation. Without getting into it, my mum is a very scarey threatening woman when she wants to be and basically had the Primary school Principal running scared for some reason.

Now this may sound like a great solution, but it wasn't and I felt like I was given special dispensation and treatment by not only the children but the teachers too. It basically made me an outcast in school for fear of what mum threatened that day. I found that was worse than being picked on.

Anyway, fast forward nearly 30 years and I look back and think that if it weren't for those times, I might not be the person I am. I found those trials to be molding and it made me more resilient to try and stand up for myself rather than let others battle my fights.

While I am not a parent, I do not envy times like this when it takes every bit of your adult logic & experience to try and choose the best way to bring up your child. You can try and protect your child the best way you think is right, sometimes it works, sometimes not. But if ever someone were to cause physical harm to my child, I am unsure what I would do. I just hope it's legal, and justified at the same time.

[Kable72]

Bullying also isn't limited to other kids at school. Often there will be a case of management and teachers harassing or holding grudges against students. I wasn't allowed to go to my end of school Formal because my grades weren't good enough. Even after all my pleading and attempts to get my grades back up (I'm not dumb, school just isn't for some people) they wouldn't let me go. In the end I told my Mum after she asked who I was taking, when we're going suit shopping etc. and she was up in arms. She rang the school and got put through to the deputy that had it in for me and ran her mouth of at him but he wouldn't budge. In the end she told him to shove it somewhere and rang up the local parliament and told them what was going on and they came down on my school like a tonne of bricks.

It was satisfying to see that deputy slink his head into my next class with his tail between his legs to inform me that I was now able to attend our Formal and because of it, 12 other students who weren't able to go because of similar reasons were now attending the Formal. My Mum was the hero of our Formal for that reason. Quite a few parents came up with hugs, 6 packs, handshakes and the like. She even made the local paper. I was proud as punch .

Off topic but it's a cool story, no?

[Ben73]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

i checked the OP scores of tthis $2500 catholic school and it is only marginally better than the public high school which has a bit of a bad rep. Im guessing from the paperwork ive collected, education is 50% Bible, %50 school work.

Not even close to 50%
You spend more time on Maths then you do on religion. They don't try to brain wash you either. In yr 8, my Religion teacher said he believes God is not real, but he liked most teachings of the Church.

I went to a Catholic schools for 13 years. I seriously did not care about the religious aspect much at all.

As for Catholic schools being 'better' then public schools, well some are some aren't. Depends on each individual school.
My Catholic school seamed much nicer then my mates public school from he stories he told me.
Who knows what your local ones are like though.

[xisled]

Originally Posted by Ben73

Not even close to 50%
You spend more time on Maths then you do on religion. They don't try to brain wash you either. In yr 8, my Religion teacher said he believes God is not real, but he liked most teachings of the Church.

I went to a Catholic schools for 13 years. I seriously did not care about the religious aspect much at all.

As for Catholic schools being 'better' then public schools, well some are some aren't. Depends on each individual school.
My Catholic school seamed much nicer then my mates public school from he stories he told me.
Who knows what your local ones are like though.

I went to catholic school, it was not 50/50. In a 2 week period I did 200 minutes of RE. that is less than 1 and half hours a week.

Some kid tried to bully him but I knocked him out. He thought he could do this because I was like a twig in year 8. After the word got around, no one even tried it again.

But bullying is hard, if it is really upsetting your child maybe get some professional counseling.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by dylby1

No they won't

The education department are ********* useless

I was thrown into a brick wall by my bag by the PRINCIPAL of my primary school when I was in grade 3 because I was running to the bus and we weren't allowed to run to it.

Education department only want to protect their own, they won't do a bloody thing

I used to get belted by a school teacher.....metre ruler, fist...thrown across desks...get the cuts from the principal....YEARS AGO....Times have changed...With the right wording,(not being abusive, but stern) the education dept will act upon the principal and teaching staff.

[AU Mont]

will try to reply to posts when i have time, currently moving house.

received a letter from the school today explaining the "alleged" verbal abuse, and the version of events from my kid was supposed to be attached but wasnt. The letter looked like it had been written for the Department of Education's benefit, explaining how all provisions have been put in place as per dep regulations & are compliant whilst maintaining the good order & management of the school blah blah blah..........

wtf, we wanted a report on the issue so we can make a police statement

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

will try to reply to posts when i have time, currently moving house.

received a letter from the school today explaining the "alleged" verbal abuse, and the version of events from my kid was supposed to be attached but wasnt. The letter looked like it had been written for the Department of Education's benefit, explaining how all provisions have been put in place as per dep regulations & are compliant whilst maintaining the good order & management of the school blah blah blah..........

wtf, we wanted a report on the issue so we can make a police statement

Education dept...The school is covering up...(which they do)...education dept....stuff the school...education dept....

[Marquis]

Get a picture of the ratbag and sit around at the dinner table and think of things to say about him. I am sure there are plenty.Get all the kids to laugh at him for a while.
I only agree with ending it with violence when you are being pushed or punched. Words should not be dealt with the fist.

[XA Sean]

Started my kids in Karate 4 years ago. Daughter is now brown belt at the age of 13. Young fella is blue belt at 10.

Im very proud to say both my kids have defended themselves and layed out ****s that were bullying them. They came home told me what happened, we went to the toy shop.

Next day I went to the principal and told him, you didnt stop it happening due to your inaction. Ill be talking to your boss.....then the heavens opened, moses parted the sea, and there was a new approach to bullies in the school.

Take your issue higher than the principal

[XRDeeze]

Originally Posted by prydey

i have some advice for the OP.

ignore 90% of the advice already given. seriously, what is wrong with many of you. its no wonder society is like it is.

retaliation is not the answer. violence is never the answer.

showing compassion to a bully ain't gonna solve anything either

[Geez Louise]

Some of the replies in this thread make me shake my head. I hope you get it all resolved for your childs sake....but I can not offer you any further advice than what I already have.

Best of luck for a good result.

Cheers
Col

[nstg8a]

Originally Posted by Kable72

They bullied me horribly

Originally Posted by Kable72

hiding my bag, pushing in front of me at the tuckshop line.

if thats whats classed as bullying these days its no wonder all the stats say the problem is growing...

cotton wool society is going to be the end of us.

[prydey]

Originally Posted by Ford_XR603

showing compassion to a bully ain't gonna solve anything either

where did i say show compassion (although the bully is the one with the problem/issues)

there is no shame in walking away.

often, bullies are seeking attention. chances are they probably have other issues, at home, socially or whatever.

resorting to retaliation/violence means you are no better. have a look at how many kids have been injured/killed recently in street brawls because they think retaliation and violence will fix the issue. sure it might be a long bow to draw but the principles are the same.

walk away. teach your kids to walk away. make new friends. there are many options. no one said it would be easy. school is a very short period at the beginning of your life. don't let it destroy your life.

seriously!!

[nstg8a]

walking away is practically never an option in real life though.

9/10 the bully can walk too.

while im not condoning violence most bullies are inherently cowards. they prey on the weak, not the strong.
only need to stand up for yourself and a lot less hassles will come your way.

and imo, theres a difference between standing up for yourself, and "smash the ****ers" as suggested earlier.

[prydey]

Originally Posted by nstg8a

walking away is practically never an option in real life though.

this thread started out talking about bullying at school. walk to a classroom. office etc. if you lose friends, then they are worth losing. real friends will stick by you. if the bullying is from within your own circle, then mix with a different crowd.

if bullies don't get a reaction, they give up or move on to someone else.

[nstg8a]

when i was at school (admittedly a hell of a long time ago now) if someone walked away from the bully they got chased. or 'spectators' stopped the victim from escaping. or eventually you end up in a situation where your cornered.

and ive never seen a bully give up because of not getting a reaction, normally they just keep escalating the bullying until something gives.

[ltd_on20s]

Originally Posted by AU Mont

My 12 year old been bullied by certain other kids for a couple years now, and it usually starts from the school bus in the morning to getting off the school bus in the afternoon.

Approached the principle about the bullying which ranges from petty group rejection to death threats (some of these very disturbing). He says its just kids being kids and that my kid has a big mouth and is just as guilty

Wife rings up the mother of the main bully this morning, and from what i heard on this end was a very light converstation of basically "could you please have a talk to your kid about the bullying, yes i know it takes two to tango ive already had a word to mine" blah blah

So this ******* ***** mother of the bully turns up at school today finds my kid in the playground and literally gets in his face and starts yelling at him, wheres he is left in tears and runs straight to the principal not knowing what to do. Principal makes a phonecall informing my wife at work what happened and that he will be sending a letter to each party of what happened.

If it was a bloke i would have 'dealt' with it, but because it was the mother, i let the wife go over their house and ask what the hell was she thinking trying to intimidate a little boy like that. Well the ***** denied even speaking to him, then stormed out the front door trying to hit my wife being held back by the husband which had a look on his face of not knowing of anything that had been going on.

And my 5 year old came home in tears today because they are starting on him too, one of them being a kid from the next door neighbour with his precious lawn as per my other whinge thread.

The wife then goes to the police and mentions the trespassing ***** mother abusing my kid at school, and he said none of it is his problem, whilst also mentioning how he received a phonecall from her that my wife turned up at their house trying to hit her.......... all lies bullshtt, but no-one is listening

Now i get to the point where im under alot of stress & just feel like killing someone, and im afraid of approaching unapproachable people because i cant tolerate any nonsense like this.

So how does everyone else deal with their kids getting bullied !!??

teach your kick karate.

and then teach him to put the bully down.

hard.

also teach him responsibility for his actions, and tell him to tell the bully every time he bullies anyone else your kid will put him down again.

unfortunately some people only know they way of beat down.

[ltd_on20s]

Originally Posted by nstg8a

and ive never seen a bully give up because of not getting a reaction, normally they just keep escalating the bullying until something gives.

exactly.

that's why sometimes you cant walk away.

[ltd_on20s]

Originally Posted by prydey

if bullies don't get a reaction, they give up or move on to someone else.

sorry prydey, but i disagree with that.

some bullies don't give up till you snap. personal experience there.

the other problem is that if he does, he moves on to the next victim. so by you walking away, you move that problem onto some other poor soul. so unwittingly you allow the problem to continue.

[prydey]

the problem only continues if authority/management fail. if the proper authorities are informed, and they do their job, then steps should be taken to look into all issues. victims need to keep making noise until they are heard. sometimes these bullies actually do need proper help.

i could never condone physical violence/retaliation. yes, i have kids at school and obviously i was once a kid myself many years ago, and my parents were the same.

nothing is gained by retaliation.

[ea90_S]

Catholic School = no difference. I went to a catholic school Primary and High school. **** didn’t stop due to the kids from the primary moving to the high school. When I was in primary school I used to get spat on, basketballs bounced off my head, kicked in the back, racial slurs, never picked to be in any sport teams, chased, never had friends, In high school it started out being horrible but I cannot remember much as I choose not to. What I find is the minute you attack a bully or complain to the teacher you are made out to be a winger and to get over it....Yeah I thought about pulling out a rifle and killing all these people but the way I look at it now my life is great have a great partner and lots of mates so I couldn’t give two ***** about primary school or high school years. Best thing is to look forward! I remember this smart teacher we all had to play footy in year 10.....teacher notices the guys talking about caving in my head when we play so he comes up to me and tells me off and to go to the library whilst giving me a wink...he later told me he heard what was going on. Thank Christ for that!

Even after I left High school I remember walking home from 1st year of tafe and being chased from the bus stop…good old dad notices walks out with an Axe and Sledge hammer(scare tactics) shouting to them what do they prefer….after that got left alone!

[wrongwaynorris]

' Often there will be a case of management and teachers harassing or holding grudges against students. "

Dont even start me on this little nugget .

[superyob]

Originally Posted by svo supporter

Ring the education dept outlining the whole scenario.....Guaranteed, the school will end up with the kick up the butt.

So what should the 'school' do?

[mcflux]

Originally Posted by nstg8a

and ive never seen a bully give up because of not getting a reaction, normally they just keep escalating the bullying until something gives.

QFT. Happens in the workplace too.

[svo supporter]

Originally Posted by superyob

So what should the 'school' do?

A quick overview of my experience.

2 kids were bullying my son. My son would tell the teacher and nothing would happen.

We have a meeting with the principal and school councillor agreeing they would be the ones told, to save lost communication. They would handle it

Bullying still occurring, no actions taken..

Ring education dept and explain the whole situation....Education dept ring the principal and tear him a new one..(Informed by education dept and principal)

Bullying still occurring and principal/school councillor told and they would suspend the kid/s..

Kids ended up expelled from the school.

Of course people may not agree with this course of action, but that's how the schools are surposed to act these days.

Yes, the old days, it was solved with knuckles...If you were caught fighting, you'd get the cuts.....But that's long gone now (like it or not)

Bullying still occurs in the workplace....Get caught belting someone, and you've got a boot up your backside....Inform the relevant gov't dept and the bully is the one with the boot.

Of course it can be done outside school/the workplace hours, but that's not really relevant.

[brydie76]

EDIT- nvm, didn't read half the thread. Good luck with it, only advice I can give is keep a cool head (even though it may feel impossible)

[Keepleft]

Originally Posted by GTP owner

And the recommendation to bring back corporal punishment for kids Do you actually have any?

Yes.

If you do, poor kids!

"Poor kids", for holding an opinion that corporal punishment, by say a principle should be an option of resort?

Do you belt them if they spill their milk? How about beating them unconscious if they wet the bed? Or slapping them when they trip and get their clothes dirty?

No, No (My 4 yo has only wet the bed twice that I remember, he took a drink to bed at his mandatory 7:30pm bedtime), No to slapping when if he trips. No to the dirty clothes.

What has this to do with 'reserved' corporal punishment in schools?? Sounds all very UN 'Rights Of The Child' agenda to me, that one adopted by mostly western nations.

[b0son]

I think the only long term solutions are (a) put the child in a private school where there is some evidence of discipline, or (b) teach the child to stand up for themselves.

The reality is, in spite of all the policies and guidelines on bullying, its more about being seen to be doing something as opposed to be actually doing something.

I would do some sort of martial art that involves some degree of contact. Its the pain that kids are afraid of, ultimately. If they learn that a kick/punch from another kid isnt that bad, they wont be nearly so afraid of standing firm when the situation requires it. (IMO)