Marriage - Bliss or Prison?

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by LG17

This current situation will certainly put extra stress on many relationships.

My Dad has been forced to work from home.

Parent's have been married nearly 50 years yet the two of them are already arguing constantly!!!

I'm sure they will get through it, but I think i'll remove all sharp objects from their home just in case

[Franco Cozzo]

Rather interesting perspective on the issue of the child support system.

[MercuryT]

A massive FU to my Ex Wife who screwed me over completely and stole my daughter.

Just needed to get that off my chest.........ha ; )

Happy Mother's Day though to all the brilliant mum's and wives out there!!!

[Trevor 57]

Originally Posted by MercuryT

My Dad has been forced to work from home.

Parent's have been married nearly 50 years yet the two of them are already arguing constantly!!!

I'm sure they will get through it, but I think i'll remove all sharp objects from their home just in case

My wife and I have been together for 45 years this year, she has had to stop work, she is a childcare worker on immune suppressants, she stopped on March 18. I have been working at home since March 19 - we have hardly had a cross word

[guzzis3]

Originally Posted by Franco Cozzo

Rather interesting perspective on the issue of the child support system.

My parents divorced when I was about 8.

The family court is incredibly bad. The reality of post divorce families is incredibly bad. You never hear about it because the media only play stories that support the agenda.

Men are stupid lying violent rapists and women are angels and victims.

So a woman a week is killed by partner in DV ? How many men commit suicide each year going through divorces ? Oh but we don't care about them, having everything taken from them now and in the future after years of psychological abuse and sometimes physical by an evil woman.

I've seen it so many times.

Luckily I learned from my evil mother how bad women can be. I was always watching out for them.

[mondeomatureguy]

well my first marriage was a just a mess got married when I was young my ex wife had a drinking problem that I didn't know about till after we got married and even our Doctor tried to get her help but she wouldn't do it.

We went our different ways in 2002 but she cleaned me out financially and got the house also.
I did think of hiring a bulldozer for the day and knocking the house down while she was at work but changed my mind I didn't want to go to jail.

I met a lovely women a few years later who was an Accountant and she helped me get back on my feet again financially and we got married and still very happy and we don't argue and she doesn't drink also.

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy

well my first marriage was a just a mess got married when I was young my ex wife had a drinking problem that I didn't know about till after we got married and even our Doctor tried to get her help but she wouldn't do it.

We went our different ways in 2002 but she cleaned me out financially and got the house also.
I did think of hiring a bulldozer for the day and knocking the house down while she was at work but changed my mind I didn't want to go to jail.

I met a lovely women a few years later who was an Accountant and she helped me get back on my feet again financially and we got married and still very happy and we don't argue and she doesn't drink also.

Excellent result a difficult time first up. Great news.

Yeah I've been to jail many times (not literally, just if I carried some ideas that pop up in my mind......ha) so well done on maintenance control.

Plenty don't and make a terrible situation even worse......

[mondeomatureguy]

Hi MercuryT,
I would have loved to see her face when she turned into the street and she looked to the right and all she saw was a great big pile of rubble and I would have left a note also saying "thanks for nothing" PS enjoy the house that I paid for.!

Its hard to start again when you been cleaned out and to those guys that have gone thru the same thing I know how you feel

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy

Hi MercuryT,
I would have loved to see her face when she turned into the street and she looked to the right and all she saw was a great big pile of rubble and I would have left a note also saying "thanks for nothing" PS enjoy the house that I paid for.!

Its hard to start again when you been cleaned out and to those guys that have gone thru the same thing I know how you feel

Yeah I was cleaned out money and daughter.

The latter upsets me much more but both hurt....

Yes that would have been quite a fun thing to do and see...........until arrested of course but yes I get it completely!!

It is really hard and like you I feel for anyone that's been in our (or similar) situation.

[mondeomatureguy]

Hi guys,
I have old car mags some dating back to 1977 stored away in my house.
I remember once reading a story in one of them about a guy who was having an affair behind his wife back with a female work mate. When the wife found out of course they separated and the hubby moved in with his lover.

He had his prized Mercedes Benz coupe and it was a 450SL V8 which he had brought new and it only had 12,000 ks on the clock. He phoned his wife soon to be his ex and said "sell the Mercedes and send me the money plz" (silly man).

She put an ad in to sell the car for only $3,000 dollars. When a guy turned up to see the car first thing he said was " Lady you know its a Mercedes Benz don't you"?

Guys please don't trust your ex wife's or what ever to sell your car!

[GasoLane]

Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy

Hi guys,
I have old car mags some dating back to 1977 stored away in my house.
I remember once reading a story in one of them about a guy who was having an affair behind his wife back with a female work mate. When the wife found out of course they separated and the hubby moved in with his lover.

He had his prized Mercedes Benz coupe and it was a 450SL V8 which he had brought new and it only had 12,000 ks on the clock. He phoned his wife soon to be his ex and said "sell the Mercedes and send me the money plz" (silly man).

She put an ad in to sell the car for only $3,000 dollars. When a guy turned up to see the car first thing he said was " Lady you know its a Mercedes Benz don't you"?

Guys please don't trust your ex wife's or what ever to sell your car!

I've heard that one a well.....'cept it was a Jag in one story and a Bentley in another

[zilo]

Got married cause I liked the girl.
Kids came along and all the usual novelties.

The advice I give my 3 sons is "dont rush it guys, we are not an endangered species, take your time having kids...no rush"

Eldest is now 35 so it has worked....


Hell...noone wants to sleep with a grandma...

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by Franco Cozzo

Rather interesting perspective on the issue of the child support system.

Our CS system is a criminal organisation. Only people that have had to deal with them are aware of how corrupt the system is.

Here is how it works:

Mum pops out kids then leaves father. Mum generally stays in family home with kids.

Father needs to find a new place to live, needs to buy new furniture, needs to find new friends because most believe that all fathers are bad and all mothers are loving beings that only care for her kids.

Father wants to see his children, mum can say no and there is not a thing dad can do - even though the 'spirit' of family law states that they are both equal parents.

Mum calls child support, claims to be a single mum caring for her children almost full time. The fact dad has asked to be in the kids life several times is totally irrelevant.

Child support calls dad. They confirm that dad has only seen his kids one weekend in the past month. They declare that mum has 95% care and dad has 5% care. The fact that they are both legally entitled to be parents is irrelevant, as is that fact that mum will possibly go to work, send kids to day care / parents / friends for care during the day while dad may be at home twiddling his thumbs able to care for his kids more but told he isn't allowed to 'in the best interests of the children'.

Dad is asked to pay $x,xxx a month in child support. Dad tells them the story but they don't care. The fact is you see your kids 5% of the time and mum has them the rest so you MUST pay up.

Dad now can't make ends meet. He stays up at night saying what the hell he did to deserve this treatment. He may send a message to mum saying what the f%^& are you doing all this for.

Mum feels threatened and intimidated and goes to the police. They instantly grant her the AVO she was baiting the dad to get so that the last 5% of the time she graciously granted to him is now gone.

Child support now want more money becaue mum has 100% care.

Dad gets 2nd / 3rd / 4th job and attempts to start legal proceedings. He is told because of the AVO and the fact he hasn't seen his kids in ages the best he can hope for is gradual over nights after 2-3 years once their case comes up.

Dad now must pay much more in child support. No one in child support EVER informed him of the 3 year rule where he can earn 30% more and its not able to be touched by the ex. In fact, most child support workers don't know of the rule.

By the time they get to court mum proudly claims that she has been doing it all alone for the past few years with no help from the father. The millions of emails / text messages and missed phone calls the dad made in the hope she would 'allow' him to see his children more are irrelevant.

But hang on - dad is working 3-4 jobs, how can he possibly be able to see his kids more your honour? And the judge nods his head in agreement.

Dad quits his main job as the emotional toll have effected his ability to work. It could be assumed that the mental damage has been attributed to him NOT being 'allowed' to see his children while paying for the privilege of not seeing them.

He is told that he must continue to pay the full amount as it was his 'choice' to stop working.

Dad now hasn't seen his children in several years. He gets the odd text message from mutual friends that they are ok and they call another bloke dad.

Dad still pays child support every month in the hope that one day in the future his adult kids will possibly look for him to get his side of the story and thank him for all he provided. That's a common line used to make good fathers feel better paying for kids they will probably never see again.

Oh, dad stopped the legal proceedings. There are still no court orders stating he can't see his children and in the eyes of the law he has just as much right to his kids as mum does.

Dad learns that child support is not legally bound to follow court orders even if they did exist. He hears horror stories of mothers losing custody of their children in court, with orders stating that kids live with father full time. Mum packs bags and moves overseas with children.

Child support thanks father for confirming he is no longer caring for the children and once again gives the other parent thousands in support even though she is actually in violation of court orders that possibly cost the father upwards of $150k.

Dad moves on - changes states and gets a job in the mines making 40% more than he did before.

He now has to pay 40% more child support because by some coincidence the cost of the children to the mum just went up overnight in line with his new job.

Any time mum goes out she will proudly state how tough her life is raising the kids all alone. People will rally around her, offer her unlimited support, tell her she is amazing, and remind her how good she was to leave her dead beat partner who is seemingly never around for the children and obviously didn't care enough to finish 'fighting' on court.

The dad on the other had will tell people that he tried court and was not allowed to see his children. Hmm why? What did he do I wonder? Hmm he has an AVO? He isn't allowed to see his kids, he was removed from the family home, hmmm hang on, court is where bad people get punished and good people triumph.. hmmm what is he hiding???

Why there aren't riots in the street about this I have no bloody idea.....

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by zilo

Got married cause I liked the girl.
Kids came along and all the usual novelties.

The advice I give my 3 sons is "dont rush it guys, we are not an endangered species, take your time having kids...no rush"

Eldest is now 35 so it has worked....


Hell...noone wants to sleep with a grandma...

That's interesting mate.

My marriage was fine (nothing is perfect) yet having a child ruined it completely. (I love my Daughter and don't regret at all)

Apparently very common in relationships with trust etc that are only exposed when tested (too late for me!)

[MITCHAY]

Yeah I've worked with a few blokes that have had the 'pleasure' of dealing with CSA. They're all about keeping the CSA out of it if possible. The system is ****ed.

It should be about getting deadbeats to pay but it seems more about screwing dads as much as they can.

[zilo]

Originally Posted by MercuryT

That's interesting mate.

My marriage was fine (nothing is perfect) yet having a child ruined it completely. (I love my Daughter and don't regret at all)

Apparently very common in relationships with trust etc that are only exposed when tested (too late for me!)

Got a couple of mates who lived "the nightmare."
The common theme is that there's always someone who coaches them in what their "rights" are and how they shouldn't let HIM tell them what to do....and how to make him pay for...whatever.

It's usually another divorcee who coaches them....just an observation.

[Bossxr8]

Originally Posted by MITCHAY

Yeah I've worked with a few blokes that have had the 'pleasure' of dealing with CSA. They're all about keeping the CSA out of it if possible. The system is ****ed.

It should be about getting deadbeats to pay but it seems more about screwing dads as much as they can.

I have full custody of my son, yet cause my ex is a deadbeat who’s on the dole she is only required to pay $7 a fortnight child support. Wtf is $7 a fortnight going to provide? I told her don’t even bother paying it cause it’s worthless to help provide for him.

I’m not crying poor cause my fiancee and i are on a decent combined wage, and have built a new house. But if the tables were turned and he was with his mum she would be taking 20% of my wage which would be a few hundred a week.

Such equality.

[MercuryT]

I pay over 10K a year for not seeing my Daughter at all.

She remarried a rich guy so now doesn't work, so my CSA payments went up dramatically as her income is zero.

So whilst fully capable of working and doesn't need any money (she was given an 80K Audi for her Birthday by new husband), still gets a huge amount of financial support and makes my situation even worse.

The system is entirely ridiculous.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by Bossxr8

I have full custody of my son, yet cause my ex is a deadbeat who’s on the dole she is only required to pay $7 a fortnight child support. Wtf is $7 a fortnight going to provide? I told her don’t even bother paying it cause it’s worthless to help provide for him.

I’m not crying poor cause my fiancee and i are on a decent combined wage, and have built a new house. But if the tables were turned and he was with his mum she would be taking 20% of my wage which would be a few hundred a week.

Such equality.

The fact you have full custody is reward enough. I know hundreds of guys that would do anything to have full custody.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by MercuryT

I pay over 10K a year for not seeing my Daughter at all.

She remarried a rich guy so now doesn't work, so my CSA payments went up dramatically as her income is zero.

So whilst fully capable of working and doesn't need any money (she was given an 80K Audi for her Birthday by new husband), still gets a huge amount of financial support and makes my situation even worse.

The system is entirely ridiculous.

Amazing isn't it. CS are happy to let another bloke be father to a child that isn't his but then refuse to take his income into consideration and still drains the real father to pay others for the privilege of raising the kids..

How wonderful...

[Yellow_Festiva]

There is a joke floating around the various men's groups that it's cheaper to arrange for the other parent to go 'missing', you know the outcome straight away, and should you get caught you will receive an outcome faster than going through family court.

[mondeomatureguy]

Hi guys,
well its not just Custody problems that guys have.
Because my ex and I didn't have kids we never had this problem when we went to court.

The day I went to court my ex wife had a really good female Solicitor and she had me by the B***S. I was told "because my earning capacity was greater then hers and she was award our house that I paid for with only owing 20k left on the mortgage.

I got some money but not near enough and when my Solicitor said "I should appeal" I just couldn't afford too.

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

Amazing isn't it. CS are happy to let another bloke be father to a child that isn't his but then refuse to take his income into consideration and still drains the real father to pay others for the privilege of raising the kids..

How wonderful...

Spot on. It's completely ridiculous if not bordering on bizarre.....

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy

Hi guys,
well its not just Custody problems that guys have.
Because my ex and I didn't have kids we never had this problem when we went to court.

The day I went to court my ex wife had a really good female Solicitor and she had me by the B***S. I was told "because my earning capacity was greater then hers and she was award our house that I paid for with only owing 20k left on the mortgage.

I got some money but not near enough and when my Solicitor said "I should appeal" I just couldn't afford too.

Funny how solicitors say there is absolutely nothing wrong with the current system.

It's because they get paid for attendance not performance.

When meeting lawyers, they talk big and tough, promise this and that then as soon as they get into the court room they are as tough as a wet tissue and just say yes and agree to anything and everything the judge suggests without correction or reply that could possibly help their client.

Then they walk out of the court room, client fuming, lawyer said that they could 'read' the judges face and knew what the outcome was going to be before they even opened their mouth so best not **** them off further.

'Give the judge a good impression and show you are willing to negotiate'. Yes, no matter what lies and falsehoods are mentioned.

Of course, you don't like that, I will gladly help you appeal where I will once again talk tough, promise the earth and possibly get you a slightly better outcome that will be only 1/4 of the eventual legal fees I will charge you.

The whole system is a corrupt ponzi scheme made to transfer wealth away from families and children to lawyers and barristers that do all they can to promote litigation, fill clients with false hope and then blame 'the system' when they don't come through.

All my lawyers and barristers put in as much effort at defending my case as a year 8 debating student... and to think they were once normal people with a conscience.

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

The whole system is a corrupt ponzi scheme made to transfer wealth away from families and children to lawyers and barristers that do all they can to promote litigation, fill clients with false hope and then blame 'the system' when they don't come through.

All my lawyers and barristers put in as much effort at defending my case as a year 8 debating student... and to think they were once normal people with a conscience.

I'm a Lawyer but Family not my strong suit.

Luckily my mate is and we bailed half way through proceedings as he knew exactly where it was headed after a one-sided hearing so was honest etc. (hard to hear but I appreciated it)

As you say the vast majority don't and lead clients down a dead end path purely for money.

It's very wrong and your comments are correct imo.

[buggerlugs]

Speaking from experiance are we ?

[Bossxr8]

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

Amazing isn't it. CS are happy to let another bloke be father to a child that isn't his but then refuse to take his income into consideration and still drains the real father to pay others for the privilege of raising the kids..

How wonderful...

That is such bull****. They really need to take into consideration the whole situation. It’s funny how the government takes both incomes into consideration when it comes to things like centrelink and other benefits, but choose to ignore it when it comes to working out child support.

[guzzis3]

I haven't cohabited since I was 21 and I've never married nor had kids, but I've seen plenty of blokes go down that sewer.

I was with my ex for 15 years and we are still friends, but she always had the same income and asset base as I did. She is a good decent woman I just couldn't stand her issues.

My mother is evil. I learned as a kid how bad it could go and was always cautious.

[290v]

Dick and Julianne Johnson are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary today 6/6/70 congratulations to you both for a great mine stone

[prydey]

Originally Posted by 290v

Dick and Julianne Johnson are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary today 6/6/70 congratulations to you both for a great mine stone

For every bad story there are plenty of good ones. 46 years for my folks this year. 22 years for my wife and I this year.