Depression, Anxiety

[Syndrome]

Humour is a good way to lighten one's mood. I watch YouTube channels such as SC Reviews (aussie guy) and Zeducation (yankee)

[DFB FGXR6]

I came across this on social media recently -



Some of that is noble but I also think some of that could potentially create anxiety, and I especially take issue with "Never talk about your problems". That subject is something that has caused a lot of grief with men who simply hide their troubles and bottle them up. I know people hate wingers, men in particular, but everyone should feel comfortable in sharing their struggles where appropriate without having to measure up to stupid social media shaming.

[DFB FGXR6]

This one makes more sense to me -

[mondeomatureguy]

Hi Guy's
We all think were Bulletproof some of us anyway. After the tragic death of Paul Green got me thinking we don't really talk about how we feel and just bottle it in thats the male way.

We all need to change guy's. Its not embarrassing to talk to somebody if your not coping too well and its not embarrassing to ask for help or even cry, the days of saying "lam ok mate i think are gone".

Women talk to there girlfiends over Coffee, some burst in tears and get it out of there system why cant we?
if any body know's Sydney they will know where Centennial Park is.

We had a argument one day with my wife and i gave her the car keys and i walked off. I was so steamed up i just kept walking and a mate of mine phoned me and i talked as i was walking.

It was getting dark and he told me " i might get bashed or worse so please catch a train home and phone me when you get home".
I walked from Centennial Park that Sunday to PeterSham Railway Station which was just past Newtown.

I did catch a train home and i did phone him to say Thank You.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by Syndrome

Humour is a good way to lighten one's mood. I watch YouTube channels such as SC Reviews (aussie guy) and Zeducation (yankee)

I use humor to mask true pain. Usually its via memes, satire or sarcasm. Lots find it funny and there are some who think you are an idiot for looking in that direction.

I have noticed 'friends' who are on FB no longer react to what you post. They mute or unfollow you without unfriending you. Lots of people who I thought were friends just don't care any more. I get more people who I dont know asking how I am compared to the people who I do know.

I think its time I cull social media full stop.

[b0son]

Originally Posted by mondeomatureguy

Hi Guy's
We all think were Bulletproof some of us anyway. After the tragic death of Paul Green got me thinking we don't really talk about how we feel and just bottle it in thats the male way.

Women tend to suicide for emotional reasons, men more so for situational ones (eg. financial or work stresses, family breakdown, etc). Talking it out is pushed as some sort of cure-all, but you'd be surprised how many men had already contacted a helpline or therapist, and suicided anyway.

Talking it out isnt going to change my work situation, my financial stresses, etc. And changing those is easier said than done. Starting over heading into your fifties is not something many look forward to. Nor is the feeling of time having gone by so quick and feeling like you have little to show for it and what's the point of doing it for another 30-40 years. Life insurance doesnt help.... my death would solve my family's money stresses. Sounds cold to say it like that, but I'd be lying if I said the thought never entered my head.

[sneaky]

Originally Posted by blueoval

I use humor to mask true pain. Usually its via memes, satire or sarcasm. Lots find it funny and there are some who think you are an idiot for looking in that direction.

I have noticed 'friends' who are on FB no longer react to what you post. They mute or unfollow you without unfriending you. Lots of people who I thought were friends just don't care any more. I get more people who I dont know asking how I am compared to the people who I do know.

I think its time I cull social media full stop.

I have wanted to delete facebook for many months now, only the lure of marketplace bargains keeps me on the platform. If they released a stand-alone app I would ditch FB in a heartbeat.

Instagram has no redeeming features, I just waste a lot of time looking at it.

I deleted snapchat the other day. I have other means to contact the people from it.

[blueoval]

Originally Posted by sneaky

I have wanted to delete facebook for many months now, only the lure of marketplace bargains keeps me on the platform. If they released a stand-alone app I would ditch FB in a heartbeat.

Instagram has no redeeming features, I just waste a lot of time looking at it.

I deleted snapchat the other day. I have other means to contact the people from it.

I deleted snapchat a few years back. Most of the content I saw was similar to Tiktok and just absolute rubbish. (I have never installed Tiktok on my phone btw).

Insta I only use for my photography but even then the IG algorithms are screwing with exposure. Considering migrating to Vero for photography only.

Back on topic though, I think social media isnt helping a lot in terms of personal depression. I limit social media a lot because I have found it to be detrimental for my mental recovery. I try and limit it to an hour a day maximum.

The gym is helping I have found. Who would have thought lifting would be therapeutic.

[DFB FGXR6]

I'm proud of what I have done with my Instagram account, at the same time I know how deep of a hole social media can be. I only interact on those platforms if I'm responding to something positive and never wade into controversy. And I guess a forum is also a form of social media, but again I try to keep away from pot-shotting and name calling and try to focus on positive responses.

Social media makes people constantly compare themselves to what others are doing or achieving. In reality, what go's on Facebook or Instagram is all but a brief snapshot of a person's life. So, for example, while I might make a post featuring my shiny little red car, it doesn't necessarily mean everything in my life is as perfect looking as the Mustang.

It's a trap many unknowingly fall into, and if you are feeling down and crappy about yourself, viewing someone else's perfect snapshot of life can just lead to negative comparisons.

[GasoLane]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

I'm proud of what I have done with my Instagram account, at the same time I know how deep of a hole social media can be. I only interact on those platforms if I'm responding to something positive and never wade into controversy. And I guess a forum is also a form of social media, but again I try to keep away from pot-shotting and name calling and try to focus on positive responses.

Social media makes people constantly compare themselves to what others are doing or achieving. In reality, what go's on Facebook or Instagram is all but a brief snapshot of a person's life. So, for example, while I might make a post featuring my shiny little red car, it doesn't necessarily mean everything in my life is as perfect looking as the Mustang.

It's a trap many unknowingly fall into, and if you are feeling down and crappy about yourself, viewing someone else's perfect snapshot of life can just lead to negative comparisons.

My favourite FB pic

[FTE217]

Fellas
Do yourselves a massive favour get out of SM - making excuses re marketplace etcetc it’s a very ugly world in there with a lot of sic people.
My observations
Never had an account my SM is here and couple of messenger groups like minded mates got me in somehow.
You don’t need it.
I see the probs that has occurred through my 17yr old daughter - it invaded her day to day life in turn my wife and I what we have to deal with - as well as hearing seeing from people like yourselves.
Hey I’m surviving no worries without it - am I missing out - tbh I couldn’t give a toss.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Citroënbender]

I can understand it (social media) from a small business point of view, it’s part promotion, part augmenting your clients’ sense of value for what they fund. The rest seems to waver between bad and indifferent.

[whitelion65]

Just heard that a fella from my golf club ended it all last week.
Because of my brain injury, I can’t be sure I’m associating the name with the right face, but a tragedy to be sure.

RIP
The pain is over :-(

[sneaky]

time for an infrequent check in.

for the last 5 or so months I have been covering other people's jobs at work, less time off, more responsibility, more stress but unable to really take time off as the work would pile up around me and impact on a number of people..

I finally recognised that I was at breaking point with the mental health and suffering signs of burn out - angry at the world, angry at work, everything was bothering me and making me not pleasant to be around.

I have just had a week or two off work and was due to return today, but I am really not ready to return yet. I am waiting to see the doctor again asap. The sick leave I had coincided with school holidays, so while I got to spend time with the kids I didn't really get any 'me' time to do my thing. Hoping this week will allow me to clear my head and get back next week.

I still find it hard to claim sick leave when I don't look sick and can manage to mask how I feel when needed. but that's something I need to get over.

I'm trying to use this week to clean up diet, move more and exercise, hopefully get some sunshine, and get myself on track so I don't end up back on anti depressants again as I don't personally like the feeling of the medication.


hope everyone is doing well or can find the support and help they need

[whitelion65]

Stay strong brother....and that doesn't mean ignoring problems!
Sounds like I'm in a similar position.
Located at Maitland for the next week and a half on emergency response (Biosecurity).

Very busy, but buoyed by the feeling I'm doing something useful.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by sneaky

time for an infrequent check in.

for the last 5 or so months I have been covering other people's jobs at work, less time off, more responsibility, more stress but unable to really take time off as the work would pile up around me and impact on a number of people..

I finally recognised that I was at breaking point with the mental health and suffering signs of burn out - angry at the world, angry at work, everything was bothering me and making me not pleasant to be around.

I have just had a week or two off work and was due to return today, but I am really not ready to return yet. I am waiting to see the doctor again asap. The sick leave I had coincided with school holidays, so while I got to spend time with the kids I didn't really get any 'me' time to do my thing. Hoping this week will allow me to clear my head and get back next week.

I still find it hard to claim sick leave when I don't look sick and can manage to mask how I feel when needed. but that's something I need to get over.

I'm trying to use this week to clean up diet, move more and exercise, hopefully get some sunshine, and get myself on track so I don't end up back on anti depressants again as I don't personally like the feeling of the medication.


hope everyone is doing well or can find the support and help they need

And that's how some employers expect people to work, do more and more and more without stopping to think about the fact you are doing the work of 3 people. Sometimes they get lucky and find a sucker, sometimes that stress builds up till the point you find yourself in.

I know how you are feeling. Being burnt out is not fun, it becomes a short cycle of exhaustion, anger and hatred that gets repeated every single day. I also understand feeling like the time off is not deserved because of what's going on in your mind rather than what shows on the outside. I do the same, there are days where I have had an absolute gutful, decided that I will take a day off, then still get up and go to work the next day for fear of letting someone else down, in the process letting myself down.

You have done the right thing in making the decision to have a break, so please allow yourself to let go and simply be yourself. Listen to music or a podcast, get some fresh sunshine on your skin, go swimming, take a hot bath.............do whatever is going to bring you back to earth and let go of the stress. As I'm sure you know, that can be easier said than done, but it's clear your mind and body have done what they needed to get you to STOP and regroup.

Take care of yourself.

[Sprintey]

Originally Posted by FTE217

Fellas
Do yourselves a massive favour get out of SM - making excuses re marketplace etcetc it’s a very ugly world in there with a lot of sic people.
My observations
Never had an account my SM is here and couple of messenger groups like minded mates got me in somehow.
You don’t need it.
I see the probs that has occurred through my 17yr old daughter - it invaded her day to day life in turn my wife and I what we have to deal with - as well as hearing seeing from people like yourselves.
Hey I’m surviving no worries without it - am I missing out - tbh I couldn’t give a toss.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Completely agree FTE, never had any accounts beyond a mates' chat and typing here on FF. Was very happy to see son ditch it as medical school took over his attention, he reckons it was terrible for achieving anything.

Little story for the anxiety, depression. Nearly died a couple of times now, it's a medical condition, was traumatic and so anxiety comes up in the rehab. Maybe PTSD? Dunno. Definitely don't enjoy driving as much as I used to. Will try to keep cruisy as much as I can. Career got nuked when about 31 because of it, so no more high powered flying everywhere doing Important Things... and happier for it all things considered.

One relative about my age did nearly 20 years of the FIFO and working up in the NW, end result heart Arrhythmia, survival and thankfully a reset to do more cruisy things, locally.

For anyone feeling like it all isn't working, my moment was the terror in the hospital and ICU, being wheeled into the ultrasound, actually looking at my own body parts on screen and going "Hey, that's beautiful. I want to stay around." Then there was quite a bit of prayer.

The anxiety is real, like really creates actual perceptions or feelings of pain which is just nuts from a rational perspective, but I have been taught to observe it, endure it, and then watch it pass. I remain afterward: so I detach myself from my ego doing the panic stuff. For me it passes right to left, it's weird af. No longer out of control and can manage more and more things.

Even weirder is I'm reading "Dune" at present and almost exactly the same thing is mentioned by the characters!

Wishing you all, all the best in life and happiness.

[GasoLane]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

And that's how some employers expect people to work, do more and more and more without stopping to think about the fact you are doing the work of 3 people. Sometimes they get lucky and find a sucker, sometimes that stress builds up till the point you find yourself in.

"Less people work harder" is an old management mantra.

[sneaky]

small update

The doctor has given me another two weeks to get on track. This will see me return to work for two weeks before taking four weeks of annual leave.

work appears to be taking this seriously which is good I suppose, sounds like I'm not alone in struggling with the place at the moment.

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Originally Posted by sneaky

small update

The doctor has given me another two weeks to get on track. This will see me return to work for two weeks before taking four weeks of annual leave.

work appears to be taking this seriously which is good I suppose, sounds like I'm not alone in struggling with the place at the moment.

Glad to hear that the immediate issue of getting time away from the place causing you stress has been taken care of. I hope you have the opportunity to start the recovery process, sneaky.

Originally Posted by sneaky

time for an infrequent check in.

for the last 5 or so months I have been covering other people's jobs at work, less time off, more responsibility, more stress but unable to really take time off as the work would pile up around me and impact on a number of people..

I finally recognised that I was at breaking point with the mental health and suffering signs of burn out - angry at the world, angry at work, everything was bothering me and making me not pleasant to be around.

I have just had a week or two off work and was due to return today, but I am really not ready to return yet. I am waiting to see the doctor again asap. The sick leave I had coincided with school holidays, so while I got to spend time with the kids I didn't really get any 'me' time to do my thing. Hoping this week will allow me to clear my head and get back next week.

I still find it hard to claim sick leave when I don't look sick and can manage to mask how I feel when needed. but that's something I need to get over.

I'm trying to use this week to clean up diet, move more and exercise, hopefully get some sunshine, and get myself on track so I don't end up back on anti depressants again as I don't personally like the feeling of the medication.


hope everyone is doing well or can find the support and help they need

I just wanted to focus on the bold sentence. No one should feel ashamed or embarrassed or guilty to take time off for mental wellbeing issues. You mention that you don't look sick. Let's take the scenario where someone was suffering from early stages cancer, for example. They would most likely not have any outwardly obvious symptoms, but no reasonable person would shame them for taking time off to get their issue addressed.

The way you feel right now is no different. Why should the fact that you can cover over, mask or hide your mental health issue be any different? You're not well, you need to take some personal time to help recuperate. For me, there's no difference between physical and mental wellbeing when it comes to taking time away to look after yourself.

Statistics show that presenteeism costs business more than absenteeism. Now that stat is predominantly based around physical health issues (and I suspect most of that is related to those suffering colds/flu and the like) but I would be confident in saying that also applies for mental wellbeing issues.

I know it takes a bit to change, but please stop being so hard on yourself, sneaky. Those around you and that know you will know that something is not right. Take the time you need to be able to recover. It is important for your wellbeing. And remember, we are generally our own harshest critics. You are probably judging yourself in ways that others likely aren't.

Take care, sneaky.

[blueoval]

Surely you should be able to claim 'mental health' leave of some description. I know of a company director who did this and took 2 weeks off.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0

I just wanted to focus on the bold sentence. No one should feel ashamed or embarrassed or guilty to take time off for mental wellbeing issues. You mention that you don't look sick. Let's take the scenario where someone was suffering from early stages cancer, for example. They would most likely not have any outwardly obvious symptoms, but no reasonable person would shame them for taking time off to get their issue addressed.

The way you feel right now is no different. Why should the fact that you can cover over, mask or hide your mental health issue be any different? You're not well, you need to take some personal time to help recuperate. For me, there's no difference between physical and mental wellbeing when it comes to taking time away to look after yourself.

I have had a day booked for a few weeks now to have a medical procedure this Friday. This is in the public hospital system, meaning I have been on the waiting list for more than 12 months now and I don't have the luxury of choosing when this procedure is done.

I mentioned today that I may not be able to work on Saturday because of what is happening on Friday, I will be knocked out for this and not meant to drive for 24 hours. I also know I'm not going to be in a headspace to face people all day, yes, I am preempting my mood. I don't mention that to the boss, because he just doesn't understand mental health issues, the "blokes don't get depressed" type of mentality.

I can't believe the attitude I got from him today. I work every Saturday without fail, giving up time with my own family or missing out of things I would like to do so that they can have a weekend off. I covered for this person last year when he decided to take elective surgery at the busiest time of the year, and again when he went and got himself Covid a few months ago. I go to work when I am not feeling great, either physically or mentally, for fear of letting someone down. There are days where I barely function but still do what I have to do.

I'm left with the feeling of guilt and letting the company down for taking two days off for something I NEED to have done so I can come back and continue to work.

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

I have had a day booked for a few weeks now to have a medical procedure this Friday. This is in the public hospital system, meaning I have been on the waiting list for more than 12 months now and I don't have the luxury of choosing when this procedure is done.

I mentioned today that I may not be able to work on Saturday because of what is happening on Friday, I will be knocked out for this and not meant to drive for 24 hours. I also know I'm not going to be in a headspace to face people all day, yes, I am preempting my mood. I don't mention that to the boss, because he just doesn't understand mental health issues, the "blokes don't get depressed" type of mentality.

I can't believe the attitude I got from him today. I work every Saturday without fail, giving up time with my own family or missing out of things I would like to do so that they can have a weekend off. I covered for this person last year when he decided to take elective surgery at the busiest time of the year, and again when he went and got himself Covid a few months ago. I go to work when I am not feeling great, either physically or mentally, for fear of letting someone down. There are days where I barely function but still do what I have to do.

I'm left with the feeling of guilt and letting the company down for taking two days off for something I NEED to have done so I can come back and continue to work.

I'm sorry that you're in that situation and also that you feel that way, DFB. The only thing I can offer is to remember that your boss is the one with the problem, not you. You shouldn't feel, or be made to feel, guilty because he is the one with the issue. It's obvious he's taking advantage of your willingness to bend over backwards to support him and his business.

It's a tough line to walk: be too accommodating and you could get used. Be too rigid and you could be considered a troublemaker.

[T3rminator]

Many decent (and smart) organisations now take mental health very seriously. It forms part of their OH&S. Don't know everyone's individual circumstances with their employer, but if you are not being given the support, or worse, being actively hindered, you should consider looking else where. Since covid, balance of power has shifted from employers to employees. Staff retention is a big issue for companies at the moment. Companies are now using "employee assistance" packages as a competitive advantage to entice good people to join them.

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

Originally Posted by T3rminator

Many decent (and smart) organisations now take mental health very seriously. It forms part of their OH&S. Don't know everyone's individual circumstances with their employer, but if you are not being given the support, or worse, being actively hindered, you should consider looking else where. Since covid, balance of power has shifted from employers to employees. Staff retention is a big issue for companies at the moment. Companies are now using "employee assistance" packages as a competitive advantage to entice good people to join them.

Just on that, I'm a Health & Safety Rep and the Vic government is very close to introducing legislation specifically requiring organisations to manage the psychological health of their employees. It was brought about due to high profile events, such as Brodie Panlock. The OH&S Act was drafted in such a way to cover both physical and mental health issues, but many employers and employees interpreted it as being physical only. The new legislation clarifies that.

All employees have rights. If you are not represented by a HSR, as you have a legal right to be, reach out to someone at Worksafe who might be able to provide you with some advice about how you might be able to manage it.

[T3rminator]

Originally Posted by FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0

Just on that, I'm a Health & Safety Rep and the Vic government is very close to introducing legislation specifically requiring organisations to manage the psychological health of their employees. It was brought about due to high profile events, such as Brodie Panlock. The OH&S Act was drafted in such a way to cover both physical and mental health issues, but many employers and employees interpreted it as being physical only. The new legislation clarifies that.

All employees have rights. If you are not represented by a HSR, as you have a legal right to be, reach out to someone at Worksafe who might be able to provide you with some advice about how you might be able to manage it.

That's really good to hear. I had read that Safework's model WHS law requires companies to manage mental health risks....but that is just a model.

Our workplace has made big investments in this space. We are using an external specialist company to assist employees who require help, and its all independent. They also fund up to 6 mental health sessions a year for employees

[b0son]

Originally Posted by T3rminator

Staff retention is a big issue for companies at the moment.

Employer retention will eventually be an issue for staff. All these extra measures for employees simply add another potential rort to the Workers Comp system. We've had 3 fake claims in the last 12 months. Unsurprisingly, we are over the stress and hassle of employing people and will be closing. It's just not worth the bother anymore.

[Citroënbender]

Originally Posted by T3rminator

Since covid, balance of power has shifted from employers to employees.

My exposure to people not self-employed gives a distinct impression to the contrary. It seems an utter bearpit, worse than I can recall.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by b0son

Employer retention will eventually be an issue for staff. All these extra measures for employees simply add another potential rort to the Workers Comp system. We've had 3 fake claims in the last 12 months. Unsurprisingly, we are over the stress and hassle of employing people and will be closing. It's just not worth the bother anymore.

I work for a small family business, there is no way they could fund anything like this, you're own here. Which, I sort of agree with, but at the same time there should be acknowledgement that sometimes an employee won't be at their best, mentally and physically.

Sadly, while all of these workplace schemes are for the greater good, it's just too much for some businesses and opens up avenues for certain people to exploit these goodwill gestures or legislation.

My sister on the other hand works in management for a VERY large retailer, the protocols for just about every single tiny little possibility is borderline insanity, most of it so they are seen to be politically correct and not get sued. Too many layers covering too many contingencies. I'm glad I don't have to go through that.

[FoxtrotGolfXray 5.0]

A couple of stats in here that were surprising for me:

There are now only a few sleeps to go until the holidays begin. Yep, the pointy end of 2022 is well and truly here – and while with that comes loads of sweet stuff (like a well-earned break, get-togethers with loved ones and hopefully, sleep-ins), it can bring emotional distress, too.
Lifeline received over 98,000 calls in December 2021 - a record for that time of year. And, on New Year's Day they recorded their busiest day in their almost-60-year history, with 3,736 calls. They expect this Christmas to be just as challenging - if not more so.
We know the festive period can be a difficult time for many, and so our friends at Lifeline have created a downloadable 12 Days of Wellness Guide to help you navigate this time of year.