Marriage - Bliss or Prison?

[GasoLane]

I got married 2 years ago and it's ok so far.


Having said that we were engaged for 38 years before that............................I mean, you can't go rushing into these things!

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by GasoLane

I got married 2 years ago and it's ok so far.


Having said that we were engaged for 38 years before that............................I mean, you can't go rushing into these things!

2 years??

Still in honeymoon phase

[290v]

I've been married now for 36yrs and have no regrets

Originally Posted by prydey

For every bad story there are plenty of good ones. 46 years for my folks this year. 22 years for my wife and I this year.

[nuthin' fancy]

I've been happily married for 6 years (since 1996).

[blueoval]

21yrs married, not dead yet

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by nuthin' fancy

I've been happily married for 6 years (since 1996).

LoL

And the rest?

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[nuthin' fancy]

Working, saving, raising a daughter (together) and two years working with Franco.

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by Bossxr8

That is such bull****. They really need to take into consideration the whole situation. It’s funny how the government takes both incomes into consideration when it comes to things like centrelink and other benefits, but choose to ignore it when it comes to working out child support.

My discussions with CSA have been bizarre to say the least.

[ford71V8]

I have never dealt with a worse department.
CSA, 18years, thank god its over.

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by ford71V8

I have never dealt with a worse department.
CSA, 18years, thank god its over.

I've got to the point I refuse to talk directly with them.

Send me the statements and correspondence and I'll pay, but otherwise leave me the * alone.

[Syndrome]

Bliss if the the man and woman are honest with each other and are willing to compromise when resolving conflicts.

Prison if they are opposite of the above.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by Syndrome

Bliss if the the man and woman are honest with each other and are willing to compromise when resolving conflicts.

Prison if they are opposite of the above.

Our divorce rate will continue to rise so long as there are large financial incentives available to one of the parties should they decide one day to part ways for any reason.

We live in a disposable society, marriage and relationships included.

Unfortunately for the children involved.

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[FairmontGS]

Originally Posted by GasoLane

I got married 2 years ago and it's ok so far.


Having said that we were engaged for 38 years before that............................I mean, you can't go rushing into these things!

Same. Wifey and I have been together since our teens and that’s 38 years. I love her as much now as I did then.


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[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by FairmontGS

Same. Wifey and I have been together since our teens and that’s 38 years. I love her as much now as I did then.


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I've been with mine for nearly 30 years too

[FairmontGS]

Originally Posted by Franco Cozzo

I've been with mine for nearly 30 years too

image

That’s not the foot-hand I remember? : lol

You trimmed down again?


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[Franco Cozzo]

Originally Posted by FairmontGS

That’s not the foot-hand I remember? : lol

You trimmed down again?


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I've trimmed down with the power of Jenny Craig Google Images, and have walked the path of righteousness

Nah I'm still foot-hand equipped

[Syndrome]

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

Our divorce rate will continue to rise so long as there are large financial incentives available to one of the parties should they decide one day to part ways for any reason.

We live in a disposable society, marriage and relationships included.

Unfortunately for the children involved.

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Are you indirectly saying that the change introduced by the Whitlam government is to blame for today's increasing divorce rate?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Law_Act_1975

[buggerlugs]

Originally Posted by nuthin' fancy

Working, saving, raising a daughter (together) and two years working with Franco.

Poor Bastard...........







Does he still spend half his life on the sh itta ?

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by Syndrome

Are you indirectly saying that the change introduced by the Whitlam government is to blame for today's increasing divorce rate?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Law_Act_1975

I'm saying that the current system is broken and generally speaking has an underlying hatred for fathers.

While the legislation refers to equal parental 'responsibility' this one single word has caused great angst as it is only seen to refer to decision making abilities and financial support.

Had that word been changed to 'care' the vast majority of parenting cases would never have needed to go to court as essentially the vagueness of the legislation and the grey areas in almost all aspects of family law mean its open to interpretation by both parties and decisions are made based on how much one party can 'out screw' the other.

Children are used as a means to manipulate the other side and to gain financial leverage by the parent who has claimed 'ownership' of them after separation.

Family court and the ambiguous legislation its based on has nothing to do with child welfare. Its a circus of lies, blackmail, manipulation and theft that is played out to judges that blatantly don't care much for details, hardly read applications, don't bother speaking directly to people involved then act blasé to claims that should have a large bearing on decisions.

It should not take 3-5 years to decide what is the best parenting and financial settlement after separation at a cost of between $100-$200k per side.

Parenting needs to be finalised in 1 month (with a simple review process every few years), property in 3 months.

But who will lose if things are sorted out so fast? Same people who will tell you the system is great and has worked so well thus far - lawyers and Barristers.

A Royal Commission will do nothing. A class action should be made against the Family Courts and Child Support for the blatant and wilful destruction of so many families.

[zilo]

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

Our divorce rate will continue to rise so long as there are large financial incentives available to one of the parties should they decide one day to part ways for any reason.

We live in a disposable society, marriage and relationships included.

Unfortunately for the children involved.

You hit the nail on the head in the bold bit.

All three of my sisters divorced.

The blokes hold back the money...the girls hold back access to the kids.

They all made me puke, especially when they asked me and my wife to take sides

It used to peez me off having my kids go to a school with the school resources being disproportinately used for idiots whose deliquent kids were affecting educational outcomes for those of us who worked hard at our marriages.

I am so feking sick of self entitled young people who think tax payer funded child care is their right and that their kids should be given all the opportunities that my kids get even though they chose to make their kids chances nearly zero.

Fortunately private schools keep them and their little clones outa the picture....best thing I ever did.

I am so sick of divorced couples playing games.

Our policy now is break contact with them all...they are toxic for a marriage

Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

A class action should be made against the Family Courts and Child Support for the blatant and wilful destruction of so many families.

If you get to the point where you're all at family court, the family had already broken down. Perhaps a little more investment into the relationship may prevent people from ending up there?

How many women do you think willingly head to family court for separation when they're in a happy marriage?

[guzzis3]

Originally Posted by Syndrome

Are you indirectly saying that the change introduced by the Whitlam government is to blame for today's increasing divorce rate?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Law_Act_1975

Well if he isn't I am. My parents divorced in 72 or 73. Can't remember. I remember it being far too easy for them. you make it easy to discard marriage then people don't take it seriously. No longer for life, just for now.

But the real issue with family law is the profound systematic discrimination against men.

Originally Posted by guzzis3

No longer for life, just for now.

What do you suggest that would fix the issues in the marriage instead?

https://divorcedmoms.com/sudden-divo...ed-by-divorce/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/b...-wife-syndrome

[Franco Cozzo]

Less expectations on 'forever' and more willing to accept that something has run it's course and it was good while it lasted.

Marriage is a religious concept and a contract between you and the state - does the title and paper matter so much?

My parents both have hated each other since I was born but they don't want to go separate ways because of the financial issues it would cause both of them and it'd break up the family properly as we'd all go our separate ways.

Originally Posted by Franco Cozzo

Less expectations on 'forever' and more willing to accept that something has run it's course and it was good while it lasted.

guzzis3 seems to be saying that people shouldn't be let out of marriages "as easy" despite it potentially having run its course.

[Citroënbender]

I know a couple who have been married to each other three times.

That’s how many goes it took Births Deaths and Marriages to issue a correct certificate!

[PG2]

Sometimes divorce can have a positive effect on children. I'll start off by saying that my 'real' parents still to this day can't stand being on the same planet as each other let alone in the same town.

My parents have been divorced since 1980 after separating in 1979. I was 6 years old at the time, my brother was 4. To be honest, I can't really remember my parents being together and I can only assume that my brother can't remember it all. It is weird to say, "Mum and Dad..."

On the upside, I now have two Mums and two Dads and have so for a very loooong time. It was particularly great when I was in my late teens to early 20s - if one lot of parents weren't home or away on holidays etc I would simply go over to my other parents place had have a home cooked meal and get them to do my washing.

When we had kids it was even better, twice as many babysitters!!!

I'd hate to think what it would be like if my parents had stayed together. How different would my life be now, same may think even better, but growing up with two parents that would have still hated each other I think not.

[Yellow_Festiva]

Originally Posted by leesa

If you get to the point where you're all at family court, the family had already broken down. Perhaps a little more investment into the relationship may prevent people from ending up there?

How many women do you think willingly head to family court for separation when they're in a happy marriage?

As I said before. You have NFI how the system works.

You are still assuming that everyone should just do good for each other and it will all be alright.

The current system is wonderfully set up that a woman (if they so choose) can totally destroy the relationship a father has with their children as well as destroy his reputation and clean him out financially.

How wonderful to have that power to do that with no questions, proof or repercussions. And even when one party has been proven to lie there is no punishment.

So what have you to lose?

In most cases women come out on top, are told how to rile up and antagonise a partner for a reaction that will then be used against them.

There are women that carefully plan, set up and arrange the timing of their separation for maximum financial gain and to cause maximum damage to their children and ex partners in the guise of going what's best for the children.

They don't care for making it work, they don't care for the children, they only care for the financial settlement and the ability to show their friends and family how 'right' they were do do what they are doing.

And, because of this there are thousands of men who don't ever want to commit to a proper relationship and certainly don't want to have children.

And there are even more men that have no option but to stay with an abusive or manipulative partner because it means they can see their kids every day and not be removed from their lives and forced to pay child support for the privilege of not seeing them.

You are delusional if you think this doesn't happen.

There is just too much for them to lose and there is not a thing they can do about it. Nothing.

My ex wife 'earnt' over $450k after our 5yr marriage. When I met her she had less than 1 pay check in her account, a car worth $1k and an apparently poor family that needed financial help.

The payments to her family from me were ($65k) written off as 'gifts', the huge wedding she wanted that I paid for ($50k) was never mentioned, the tens of thousands she took out of our account the week after we separated were never entered into the financials.

I was fine to care for our 11 month old several nights a fortnight while she was having her affair, and as soon as I didn't agree to her financial demands she lawyered up, stopped access and hammered me for child support.

Her financial 'demands' were so outrageous that I had no choice but to go to court or I would have lost EVERYTHING.

What a joke....

[MercuryT]

Originally Posted by leesa

If you get to the point where you're all at family court, the family had already broken down. Perhaps a little more investment into the relationship may prevent people from ending up there?

How many women do you think willingly head to family court for separation when they're in a happy marriage?

Just wow.

[PG2]

Gentlemen, while I understand that most of us on here are males and therefore will be biased towards the men side of things lets not shoot down a female's opinion on things.

I understand that leesa has very strong opinions, and I certainly don't agree with them all, but it wouldn't hurt any of us to at least give them the same thought as we do to each other's.

Let's concede that there are both some very unreasonable men and women out there that can make their 'ex' lives an absolute misery.

EDIT: I am not posting this from a moderator perspective. I just think that everyone, whether male of female, will have different opinions on what can be the most stressful time of someone's life.