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Old 16-07-2006, 05:25 PM   #181
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At about 17yrs old, with a terrible hangover & headache, decided to wack the sports steering wheel on my HR. Had the old wheel off a dozen times but in my hazy state, I forgot to leave the nut on a couple of turns. Pulling as hard as I could, the old, hard steering wheel finally lets go, just misses my top lip and smashes my nose into my face. Claret everywhere, a blinding headache and a father rolling on the loungeroom floor laughing at me tell's the rest of the tale.:
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Old 25-07-2006, 08:17 PM   #182
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Was helping a mate pull the clutch out of his commodore. He had all but one bolt out of his pressure plate. Being lazy, he asked his younger brother to crank the engine over so he could get to the last bolt. The couple of pumps of the throttle were a dead give away. Of course it started first kick, I was amazed how long the last bolt held on for with the engine accelerating so quickly. In the process the pressure plate cut a 3" swathe through his tranmission tunnel before spitting a distorted clutch and pressure plate out. Narrowly missing both of us under the car. We were VERY VERY lucky that day. No good me buying lottery tickets all my good luck is gone!
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Old 31-07-2006, 07:53 PM   #183
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not putting a self resetting relay on a thermo system which blew the fuse (and blew apart the overflow tank)
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Old 31-07-2006, 08:24 PM   #184
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Very hungover mate and I were going trail bike riding one day. Early in am he gets screwdriver and hammer to knock out his front axle and places thumb carefully over end of screwdriver and hits it hard with said hammer. Beer obviously numbs the body and the mind. The axle didn't budge.

He looks at his now iffy thumb, unsure of what just happened. Obviously it needs a very large smack. Thumb now perfectly aligned over end of screwdriver he gave it a very, very large smack.
And about 3 seconds later both of us were rolling around on the ground. Him in pain.
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Old 01-08-2006, 11:35 PM   #185
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Quote:
Originally Posted by northey
Very hungover mate and I were going trail bike riding one day. Early in am he gets screwdriver and hammer to knock out his front axle and places thumb carefully over end of screwdriver and hits it hard with said hammer. Beer obviously numbs the body and the mind. The axle didn't budge.

He looks at his now iffy thumb, unsure of what just happened. Obviously it needs a very large smack. Thumb now perfectly aligned over end of screwdriver he gave it a very, very large smack.
And about 3 seconds later both of us were rolling around on the ground. Him in pain.

one word GOLD
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Old 20-01-2007, 11:28 PM   #186
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My turn in the confessional:

I think I am getting old enough to have occasional "seniors' moments" so leaving a tool in the engine bay has happened a few times (occasionally rescued from the sump guard but often lost on the road; usually the favourite expensive one or one from a set where you can no longer get replacement pieces).

The eyes aren't as young as the they once were either so I managed to mix up the PBR anti squeal brake adhesive and the PBR brake grease while assembling some caliper pistons and fitting new pads - lucky I realised before road test time but I had to buy all new rubber parts as they were covered in adhesive and the caliper pistons were sort of glued into their bores (in my defence both products were in identical small black tubes so I contacted PBR over that one and they promised to change the packaging so the two products were in different coloured tubes and near sighted people like me didn't repeat my mistake).

Years ago while servicing an auto Valiant started it through the open driver's window while the trans was in drive and ran over a new double pram that 5 minutes earlier was occupied by my two baby sons.

When I was 18 I broke the new reverse switch off in the sump of my Mini Moke by over tightening it then broke my big toe when I kicked a nearby brick wall in frustration (that taught to stay cool when things go wrong).

Drove over the edge of a car park wall in the NB Fairlane and broke my wrist. It was in the Bibra Lake industrial area where Bunnings used to be and I was driving along in the parking areas in front on the factory units looking for a certain business. The asphalt looks like it is continuous and on the same level; it isn't so I drove off a small brick wall near the vets; fortunately I was only doing about 5 km/hr and landed on the front two jacking points and the car was undamaged. The tow truck driver had some difficulty lifting the car up to avoid damage but worse the tow truck driver turned out to live across the road so all the neighbours knew about this one. I had cracked my wrist earlier that day while inline skating (new skates, bigger wheels, dropped keys, missed attempt to scoop up keys, skates hit keys while I am off balance, head over tit I go). Anyhow the jolt through the steering driving off the edge was enough to turn the crack into a break and did it ever hurt. In my defence the people at the vets said people were always driving off that edge and damaging the wall. This all happened on my birthday (hence the new skates); an eventful if not fun day.

I am sure in the last 36 odd years of motoring there has been a few other stuff up that I have learned to forget.

I had a few mates when I was young who were not at all mechanically minded and manged to:

Try and refill the sump by pouring oil down the dip stick (well it had some logic to it and it worked but was it a slow and messy process). We found out after this effort that he was also in the habit of topping up his oil at the servo using the same approach and couldn't understand why the servo staff complained about the mess he left in the drive through.

Remove the rear brake drum with hand brake on (enough force will achieve this eventually but you then require new brake springs and pad retainers).

Put the wheel nut on back to front while rotating the tyres and ruin your expensive mag wheels - they lasted about a week of commuting to and from work until he lost a wheel.
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Old 21-01-2007, 12:23 AM   #187
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The Guy Next Door From Our Workshop Was A Mate And When He Put A Rock Through His Sump I Said Yeah Mate No Worries Ill Weld It Up For You. Instead Of Pulling The Sump I Will Save Time Drain The Oil And Weld It In Place , So I Started Welding And After 20 Seconds (when The Oil Vapors Reached Flashpoint) There Was An Almighty Explosion Which Knocked Me To The Ground, Burnt 20% Of My Hair And Embedded Shrapnell Into My Helmit. After The Inital Shock I Had To Laugh Because What Was A Hole The Size Of A Twenty Cent Piece Was Now The Size Of A Dinner Plate!!! The Next Couple Of Hours Involved Replacing The Sump With A Second Hand One We Found At The Wreckers. One Thing I Havent Mentioned Yet Is The Noise An Exploding Sump Makes Is Like Standing Behind A Jet Engine . I Was Permantly Hearing Impared From That Day
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Old 21-01-2007, 01:17 AM   #188
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was guiding a first year apprentice(his third day on the job) on how to do a service, asked him had he serviced anything before and got a nod in reply, fair enough i think, once we had the oil drained, told said apprentice to fill the engine back up with oil, come back 5 mins later to same said apprentice still pumping oil into engine. i asked him why it was taking so long he said he had no idea, asked how much oil he had put in so far, he replies that the oil gun reads 65 liters and still going. look at floor underneath truck: no oil......???? wtf? grab dip stick to check level find oil nearly at the handle of the dip stick.... he had actually filled the engine with oil... apparently no one had told him he had to check the dip stick, his previous servicing experience was his dads lawn mower, which he watched his old man do. total count 71 litres of oil at $3.59 a litre. he still cops it for that one.
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Old 21-01-2007, 01:26 AM   #189
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Changing the tranny fluid in the 36 before going away on an 8 hour drive we got about half way wondering what the strange clicking sounds was. Was the funnel still in the bay sitting between the air filter and the cow. Dad was P!@ed so in panic mode i tried to pick it up bad move HOT!
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Old 21-01-2007, 11:49 AM   #190
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Picking up the LC Torana after a crash repair and repaint job, going and buying a battery clamp, fitting it and closing the bonnet.

Did you know the two posts of a Torana Battery clamp are different heights???

And that if you install them the wrong way round, the long one will actually poke through the newly painted bonnet..........


And when out of the garage........

NEVER shake up your Farmers Union Iced Coffee in the car AFTER you've opened it........... It makes for a very quiet trip home with the family......
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Old 21-01-2007, 07:18 PM   #191
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i was a 16yo work experience retard, throwing a set of tires on one of my school teachers cars. jacked the bastard right up at the front. not my fault at all, the sump looked solid, how was i too know. not sure what happened after, the teacher got their car back, but me and my mates watched it get towed from school the next day.

EDIT: actually one thing i should mention, the owner seen me every day for a year after and never said a word about it, i think the mechanic i was work experiencing at covered it up. top bloke, will buy him a beer next time i see him.
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Old 21-01-2007, 07:21 PM   #192
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Put one inlet manifold gasket on upside down or back to front. Was blowing oil straight out right hand exhaust. Pulled the head off and took it to have the valves checked. I only use inlet trays now, lol.
Left ring spanner on front disk brake caliper bleeder nipple. Drove fairly straight for a while then sheared the nipple off on the first real corner I went around.
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Old 21-01-2007, 07:34 PM   #193
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This one isnt really mechanical, but i put one of those ambi pur liquid car deodorisers on upside down. I came back an hour later to go for a drive and i noticed the stuff had leaked everywhere, so i wiped it off and what do you know....it strips paint. I stripped a heap of the silver paint off the brand new cd player facia in my BA
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Old 21-01-2007, 07:52 PM   #194
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did a coolant change on a pajero at work when i was a first year, didnt bleed it properly, car made it half way to adelaide 2 days after with a burnt motor. pajero was only 2 years old and 30,000km.
left a speedo sensor off a ford auto (xf) burt out trans after 30 km
had a cleveland dizzy out 180 degrees, big flames out of the carbie
pulled the rotor button out of my dizzy, went to start it 2 weeks later, took me another 2 weeks to figure out why it wouldnt start
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Old 21-01-2007, 09:54 PM   #195
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play the bush mechanics game haha http://www.bushmechanics.com/pages/game/body_game.htm
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Old 21-01-2007, 10:36 PM   #196
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was washing my EB when i had. Grabbed the wrong bottle of detergent ended up using Wheel cleaner.

Looked fine till i drove it. Big etch marks in the front windscreen 200 dollars later i could see out it again. !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 21-01-2007, 10:40 PM   #197
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I spent hours fiddle-farting around pulling the manifold & fuel injection off so I could change the welsh plugs, only to find they were under the OUTLET manifold!

OOPS! Too simple ..... he missed!
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Old 21-01-2007, 11:34 PM   #198
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A family member rang me to tell me that he just burnt to the ground his pride and joy an old Holden 1 Tonner. Seems it as leaking fuel from the carbi gasket, so he repaired it by taking off the carbi, wrapping the torn gasket with electrical tape, reinstalling and driving off into the distance. To his suprise the fuel leak got a lot worse and so did everything else when it leaked on to the hot exhaust.

One from my past when I was 17, was trying to explain to my old man why my old HR ute spat out the tailshaft on a straight length of road 2 kms from our farm. Problems arose when he sighted the black marks up the road, empty oil container in tray, and oil and rubber up the rear quarters. Had to walk home while the old man towed it home with the HZ while the younger brother got to steer.

Those shafts make some noise when they go at full noise, even punched holes thru the floorpan (Which I managed to "fix" with some rough welding and about 2 kg of bog). Can still remember falling asleep on the caport floor with that ute, whilst undertaking some fanastic mod or fixing the damaged caused by the fantastic mod.

At one stage when the "raked look" was in (late 80's) it was running 13' fronts, 14 inch rears, also had drums all round and rear air shocks. Had to run the shocks at full pressure to keep the rear tyres from rubbing the guards. (Which I rolled with a claw hammer, and a tin of white spray paint). Coming down any hill and going for the brakes meant a sturdy grip on the wheel, a sweat on the brow and a pray as the front end decided which way to dive, the front drums decided if to work, the hard as a rock rear end bounced and twitched, and the "cool" raked look making it worse by putting all the weight to the front. Aw loved that car never should have sold it...............
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Old 21-01-2007, 11:43 PM   #199
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Got a hole in the fuel tank of my CB550 honda

Run some exhaust fumes throught it to defume, oxy welded it up.. fine.

Put fuel back in and there was still a slight leak.

Drained fuel, FORGOT to defume.

BANG.... to say the least.

This is not the stupidest thing I have even done either!
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Old 22-01-2007, 12:26 AM   #200
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Was tightening the spoiler on my nissan exa, and the socket fell inside the hatch, spent the next 2 hours fishing it out
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Old 22-01-2007, 03:20 AM   #201
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Haaaa ok where do i start......

1) Rolling a car off a trailer, im sitting in the car while my mate is directing me... i almost run him over when the car rolls down the ramps caus i was mashing down on the clutch.....

2) Mechanic changed the oil, go home to check it and didnt see any oil in the stick! look under the car, yup plug is there... call mechanic to ask if they actually put oil in.. they advised me that new oil is almost clear, where as i was assuming it would have been black... doh!

3) My tank in my old car easily flexed when under pressure, even when the pump was priming the carby when starting... so i test the weakness of the tank by seeing how much pressure was needed to re-produce that flexing effect... i did this by putting my mouth over the tank filler.... (and was about to do a sucking and blowing motion...)

4) Spent an hr and got covered in petrol when changing a fuel filter only to be told the next day it was the wrong one....

5) Taking my car back to ford describing the problem with the interior fan "sounds like a plastic bag is stuck in the pipe" so the guy opens the glove box and removes the plastic bag from over the air intake......

6) locking the keys in the car, get a coat hanger then get that stuck between the door and the glass.....

7) the exhaust dropped... used nylon rope to tie it up again... hot pipes and nylon rope dont mix well, and smell even worse.....

8) Dads XF started to use heaps more fuel comapred to usual... got her tuned, changed this, adjusted that.. should have first checked if the pump was leaking...

There are plenty more..... but ive said my share.....
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Old 22-01-2007, 10:04 AM   #202
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow_Festiva

3) My tank in my old car easily flexed when under pressure, even when the pump was priming the carby when starting... so i test the weakness of the tank by seeing how much pressure was needed to re-produce that flexing effect... i did this by putting my mouth over the tank filler.... (and was about to do a sucking and blowing motion...)
...

Dont suppose we can have a photo demonstration of this one ??
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Old 22-01-2007, 10:09 AM   #203
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nup.....

didn't "make contact"... the fumes almost knocked me out and burnt my eyes... ........
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Old 31-01-2007, 02:54 PM   #204
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
Too mnay little dumb things but fixing them has only ever really cost me time.

But the dumbest thing I did in the garage that nearly cost me a lot was when I fitted accelerator and brake pedal covers (the ones helds on with screws & metal tabs) to my AU2 Forte V8 auto. They were fine until I went to a track day at Wakefield Park. Coming off the back straight into the hairpin, I had just overtaken someone and it was time to step on the brakes. Step I did, STOP the car did NOT! I ended up going off sideways at around 130km/h, through the edge of the gravel trap and only stopped when I chucked the car into neutral and ripped the handbrake on. Of course this spun me 180 degrees, so I nearly backed into the wall - in the end, I missed the wall by the width of the car.

The cause of this? The screws holding the pedal cover on to the accelarator pedal embedded themselves in the carpet (obviously I was flat to the floor coming out of the kink!), causing the throttle to stick from INSIDE the car! Solution - angle grind those screws down!

To say I thought I was going to have a big stack would be an understatement - to walk away from it with only two sand blasted rims, and a few stones caught between the front tyre and the rim was miraculous.
Been there done that, except it caused me to run up the *** of a truck between orange and bathurst in the EA.

I was accelerating to overtake the truck, pulled out into the opposing lane, seen a car heading towards me, so i pulled back in and backed off. Unfortunately when i took my foot off the accelerator nothing happened, and I ploughed into the semi at about 125-130. Scared the **** outta me, I'll never buy those crap pedals ever again.
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Old 31-01-2007, 04:39 PM   #205
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Tried for ages to get the '74 Celica to start without luck. Tried to roll start but it was an old battery so I shot off and bought a brand spanking new battery.
Put the battery in, turned but wouldn't fire, tried again and again and again. Nothing. New battery was pretty weak by now and as I was sitting in the seat with my head in my hands, 12yr old son came outside and said "did ya remeber the kill switch" " course I did, I'm not that stupid". Waited for him to go inside, flicked the kill switch and off we went....DOH!
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Old 31-01-2007, 04:59 PM   #206
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Ah what a great thread i haven't done any of these yet give me time

My story is my mates: he had a Nissan skyline silhouette which he was very proud of... i was staying at his place before his wedding he invited me out to his garage to show me how wonderfull the Nissan 3.0l engine is... to show that it is nicely balanced he put a 50 cent piece on the rocker cover and then reached into bonnet (while standing in front of it) and gave the accelerator cable a pull - well the car leapped forward and slootted him into some shelving he had at the end of the garage...luckly i wasn't in front of the car he was screaming 'get it of my f......g legs' after checking he was ok i told him i thought it was a hard way of getting out of the marrage
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Old 31-01-2007, 05:05 PM   #207
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Nice when it's something easy!!

Firing up my rebuilt V8 after spending all weekend fitting it. Checked and rechecked everything.

Hit the key nothing happened?

Go over all wiring with mate helping, nothing? Swap wires on starter anyway nothing?

I know it must be wiring so check all connections again, nothing?

Really keen to start new motor but realise I must walk away and clear my mind. I have spent the best part of one hour checking changing wires etc.

Come back after a coffee, move auto selector from drive to park and car starts first turn of the key.
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Old 31-01-2007, 05:23 PM   #208
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Not my biggest mistake, but probably my most painful. Was sanding back some BOG in a coop I had years ago in the top corner of the boot recess in the body. I had the boot off, didn't want to undo the torsion bars so I just pushed the boot hinges down and stuck a broom handle across the inside of the boot to hold them down and started sanding.

When I came to with blood gushing from my chin, it only took s plit second to work out what happened! Bumped broom stick, hinge sprung up, my chin in the way. If you check out the XA/B/C hinges you'll find they've got a lovely bit of bent metal right at the end. Its worth six stitches and scar that gets cut everytime you shave.

Once after a night of racing at the drags, we had the coop loaded on the trailer and of we went. Couldn't turn right from our position so I had to do a loop in the pit road. The F250 has got a BIG turning circle. As i was part way into my turn some people walked up to the outside of my arc making me turn sharper tahn I would have liked. Int he instant that my brother yelled 'Look Out' I heard the bang. I had run into what amounted to the only tap in the pits. It was secured in the ground with a railway sleper. I caught it on the front wheel of the car trailer. It snapped the axle clean off leaving the whole wheel and stub axle sitting on the ground. It also sheared the tap of causing a nice fountain to rain down on the area.
Obviously a big cheer went up and people gathered, photos were taken, tempers got frayed etc and the trailer had bottomed out on the remaining wheel. It was only thanks to a good mate whom I am still in debt to today who came out with another trailer and took ours back to his work. Not bad at 1am hey!

The best thing about making mistakes is learning from them.

There are some crackers here!!
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Old 31-01-2007, 05:38 PM   #209
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1) Trying to start a 302 windsor (un be-knowens that the dissy was put back in 180 deg out of sync), my mate was cranking it over while i was looking down the carb to see if it had fuel them POOOF! it backfired through the carb and i lost my eyebrows and fringe!
2) trying to get a truamatic 3 speed to push up flat onto the engine flange of a 308 and using the mounting bolts to "pull" it up, after a fair amount of tension on the bolts (more torque is better right?) i heard a loud "crack" after realling away if fright i noticed id snapped the bell housing in half (torque convertor wasnt lined up into the end of the crank properly).



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Old 31-01-2007, 06:12 PM   #210
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Towing a tralier with the van, parked with passengers side wheels on naturestrip. Start shovelling a load of rubbish into tralier from naturestrip. I need to move trailer back to get closer to the rest of the rubbish.

Because "I'm in a hurry",only need to move the van 1 meter and the van is on a funny angel, I don't get in.
I open the door, start the engine, move the auto to reverse and with one foot on the road place my other foot on the accelerator. I press down lightly with my left foot expecting to hop with the van as it moves back. Van moves back much quicker than I expect. Within a split second I am standing half on the road, half in the van with my foot flat to the floor.
My fairly heathly 351 cleveland reved to about 6000rpm suprisingly quickly. Fortunately I had not yet fitted an LSD so the wheel on the naturestrip started spinning.
It was all over very quickly but could have been a little hard to explain to the insurance company, had I kept moving and reached the BMW parked a little way behind me.
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12.1@112Mph 285rwkw on n2o Cleveland Power
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