Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated.

Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 20-07-2016, 02:25 PM   #1
Crazy Dazz
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs
Posts: 5,005
Default Please Magically Fix my Car

Hi, I'm new here and my car is broken.

I would like you to fix it using the magic of the internet.

Obviously I am not going to tell you what type of car it is, or what's wrong with it, that's where the magic part comes in.
Nor can you derive any clue from the location of my post, since naturally I have done my best to put it in the least relevant forum.

I have either checked everything, or checked nothing. (See Schrödinger's Cat for more explanation.)

Please don't suggest any tests, because obviously they won't work.
Again, magic is the key here.

Please don't bore me with explanations.
I have no interest in learning about my car, nor even the most basic concepts of mechanics and/or physics. However I am more than happy to complain about any professionals who attempt to help me.

I am extremely angry about this. My car is only 20 years old so this is clear evidence that all cars are **** and I should be entitled to compensation.
If you cannot magically fix my car I am going to run it over with a tank.
Crazy Dazz is offline  
Old 20-07-2016, 02:29 PM   #2
sgt_doofey
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
sgt_doofey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Barossa Valley, South Australia
Posts: 3,381
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Just hit it on the headlight and go "Eeeyyyyyyyyyy" like the Fonz, then it should be all good to go again!
__________________
Cheers,
Sam.
sgt_doofey is offline  
Old 20-07-2016, 02:47 PM   #3
wodahs
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
wodahs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: perth
Posts: 4,355
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

you missed a line

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Dazz View Post
Hi, I'm new here and my car is broken.

I would like you to fix it using the magic of the internet.
mechanic has quoted me (probably around the $100 to $200 mark) a billion times too much as (even tho I don't know what why or how) I believe the required fix to be well under the 1c mark so why is he trying to rip me off hence I need to repair it with your (the forums) help

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Dazz View Post
Obviously I am not going to tell you what type of car it is, or what's wrong with it, that's where the magic part comes in.
Nor can you derive any clue from the location of my post, since naturally I have done my best to put it in the least relevant forum.

I have either checked everything, or checked nothing. (See Schrödinger's Cat for more explanation.)

Please don't suggest any tests, because obviously they won't work.
Again, magic is the key here.

Please don't bore me with explanations.
I have no interest in learning about my car, nor even the most basic concepts of mechanics and/or physics. However I am more than happy to complain about any professionals who attempt to help me.

I am extremely angry about this. My car is only 20 years old so this is clear evidence that all cars are **** and I should be entitled to compensation.
If you cannot magically fix my car I am going to run it over with a tank.
and being a thread of this nature the spelling and wording should be all over the shop as much as the actual ability of the thread making any sence
__________________
yes still (as money n time permit) doing the

rebuilding the zh fairlane with a clevo 400m 4v heads injected whipple blown with aode 4 speed trans to a 9" ....... we'll get there eventually

just remember don't be afraid to try something new.
Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic!

I have taken up meditation... at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing !!
wodahs is offline  
This user likes this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 02:51 PM   #4
JC
Miami Pilot
Donating Member2
 
JC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ACT
Posts: 21,703
Tech Writer: Recognition for the technical writers of AFF - Issue reason: Writing tech articles 
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Dazz View Post
Hi, I'm new here and my car is broken.

I would like you to fix it using the magic of the internet.

Obviously I am not going to tell you what type of car it is, or what's wrong with it, that's where the magic part comes in.
Nor can you derive any clue from the location of my post, since naturally I have done my best to put it in the least relevant forum.

I have either checked everything, or checked nothing. (See Schrödinger's Cat for more explanation.)

Please don't suggest any tests, because obviously they won't work.
Again, magic is the key here.

Please don't bore me with explanations.
I have no interest in learning about my car, nor even the most basic concepts of mechanics and/or physics. However I am more than happy to complain about any professionals who attempt to help me.

I am extremely angry about this. My car is only 20 years old so this is clear evidence that all cars are **** and I should be entitled to compensation.
If you cannot magically fix my car I am going to run it over with a tank.
Bored?
__________________
-----------------------------------------------------------------
The Hammer: FG GTE | 376rwkw | 1/4 mile 11.793 @ 119.75mph 1.733 60' (4408lb)
1 of 60 FG MK1 335 GTEs (1 of 118 FG Mk 1 & 2 335 GTEs).
Mods: Tune, HSD/ShockWorks, black GT335 19” staggered replicas with 245 & 275/35/19 Michelin Pilot sport 5s

Daily: BF2 Fairmont Ghia I6 ZF, machine face GT335 19” staggered Replicas with 245s and 275s, Bilsteins & Kings

FPV 335 build stats: <click here>

Ford Performance Club ACT
JC is offline  
3 users like this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 02:57 PM   #5
Crazy Dazz
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs
Posts: 5,005
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Quote:
Originally Posted by wodahs View Post
you missed a line
No I didn't.
If you had even bothered to read my post, you would firstly know that I am much smarter than you, secondly that I know everything,
and besides you would have magically read anything that I neglected to include.
Crazy Dazz is offline  
6 users like this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 03:20 PM   #6
superyob
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,811
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Crazy Dazz, correkt punktuation and speeling is unasseptible. Yo pute an apostrofe in the goodest place so you must no somehow bout c7rs...
superyob is offline  
2 users like this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 03:27 PM   #7
superyob
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,811
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Quote:
Originally Posted by JC View Post
Bored?
No, but I think Crazy Dazz might be...
superyob is offline  
Old 20-07-2016, 04:18 PM   #8
Franco Cozzo
Thailand Specials
 
Franco Cozzo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Centrefold Lounge
Posts: 49,439
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Dazz View Post
Hi, I'm new here and my car is broken.

I would like you to fix it using the magic of the internet.

Obviously I am not going to tell you what type of car it is, or what's wrong with it, that's where the magic part comes in.
Nor can you derive any clue from the location of my post, since naturally I have done my best to put it in the least relevant forum.

I have either checked everything, or checked nothing. (See Schrödinger's Cat for more explanation.)

Please don't suggest any tests, because obviously they won't work.
Again, magic is the key here.

Please don't bore me with explanations.
I have no interest in learning about my car, nor even the most basic concepts of mechanics and/or physics. However I am more than happy to complain about any professionals who attempt to help me.

I am extremely angry about this. My car is only 20 years old so this is clear evidence that all cars are **** and I should be entitled to compensation.
If you cannot magically fix my car I am going to run it over with a tank.
I get this on a daily basis.
Franco Cozzo is online now  
Old 20-07-2016, 05:46 PM   #9
Yellow_Festiva
Where to next??
 
Yellow_Festiva's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 8,893
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Ok, what have I missed?
__________________
___________________________

I've been around the world a couple of times or maybe more.......
Yellow_Festiva is offline  
This user likes this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 05:57 PM   #10
wodahs
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
wodahs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: perth
Posts: 4,355
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

not much just a few bored blokes doing very little today (including me)
__________________
yes still (as money n time permit) doing the

rebuilding the zh fairlane with a clevo 400m 4v heads injected whipple blown with aode 4 speed trans to a 9" ....... we'll get there eventually

just remember don't be afraid to try something new.
Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic!

I have taken up meditation... at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing !!
wodahs is offline  
2 users like this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 06:27 PM   #11
Work Horse
Budget Racer
 
Work Horse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,421
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

If you guys have nothing to add can you stop with the off topic posts?

My car is broken too and I'm hopeful some of the magic will come my way. I'm positive I have the same problem as the OP.
__________________
12.1@112Mph 285rwkw on n2o Cleveland Power
Work Horse is offline  
Old 20-07-2016, 06:50 PM   #12
.:4:.
Kicking back
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Western sydney
Posts: 8,675
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Its probably a case that needs lateral thinking. Shame it's not mains powered or run through a data network, because those are my profession. Maybe (on the illicit side) try some acid or shrooms and sit in a stationary car, and it will drive (to you atleast) like the day it was delivered. It might be a case of finding a competent mechanic, surely they aren't too hard to find.
.:4:. is online now  
Old 20-07-2016, 06:53 PM   #13
Crazy Dazz
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Perth, Northern Suburbs
Posts: 5,005
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Damo View Post
I get this on a daily basis.
I don't think I could do your job.
I can only imagine the customers you must get:
"My car don't go, I have no idea what's wrong with it, I expect you to spend hours figuring that out and do it for free. Once you have figured out which part needs replacing, I'll happily pay for the part, but only if you fix it today, and I'll only pay the price of a dodgy eBay part from China.
Oh, and your free coffee sucks, and you need some better magazines."
Crazy Dazz is offline  
2 users like this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 06:53 PM   #14
Cav
HUGH JARSE
Donating Member2
 
Cav's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,804
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Sell your broken car to me.

This will solve your problem of owning a broken car.

QED

Cav
Cav is online now  
Old 20-07-2016, 06:56 PM   #15
wodahs
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
wodahs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: perth
Posts: 4,355
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Quote:
Originally Posted by Work Horse View Post
If you guys have nothing to add can you stop with the off topic posts?

My car is broken too and I'm hopeful some of the magic will come my way. I'm positive I have the same problem as the OP.
have you checked the air in the spare tyre , generally if the ambiance temp of the humidity in the glove box mixes with the positivity of the negative flow of the radiator hoses in the boot well of the car 3 houses away arnt aliened with the posties return addresses your problem will be 31
__________________
yes still (as money n time permit) doing the

rebuilding the zh fairlane with a clevo 400m 4v heads injected whipple blown with aode 4 speed trans to a 9" ....... we'll get there eventually

just remember don't be afraid to try something new.
Remember, amateurs built the Ark...Professionals built the Titanic!

I have taken up meditation... at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing !!
wodahs is offline  
This user likes this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 07:07 PM   #16
Work Horse
Budget Racer
 
Work Horse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,421
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Quote:
Originally Posted by wodahs View Post
have you checked the air in the spare tyre , generally if the ambiance temp of the humidity in the glove box mixes with the positivity of the negative flow of the radiator hoses in the boot well of the car 3 houses away arnt aliened with the posties return addresses your problem will be 31
Yes it was like the first thing I checked

Sorry to the OP for the high jack.
__________________
12.1@112Mph 285rwkw on n2o Cleveland Power
Work Horse is offline  
This user likes this post:
Old 20-07-2016, 07:10 PM   #17
Madaya
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Madaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Bunbury WA
Posts: 1,409
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Yeah, of course, the air pressure in my spare is a bit low. With ya's bros. Perhaps we should be given a shot of esp then all would be well.
__________________
2010 FG XR6 I6 CC Ute, Nitro colour. lsd, sports suspension, Ford 18's fitted with Michelin Primacy 3 ST 245x45x18, MW Quick Shifter, Pacemaker 4500 Extractors, Carbuilders Soundproofing, KPM Street Fighter CAI
Madaya is offline  
Old 20-07-2016, 07:12 PM   #18
Russ
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Russ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sausage Singlet NSW
Posts: 3,301
Contributor: For members who make a contribution worthy of recognition. - Issue reason: Very helpful and gracious with photoshop work to help others.. 
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

I was expecting this was another post by Hulk but .....
Russ is offline  
Old 20-07-2016, 07:18 PM   #19
Top_Ghia
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,693
Technical Contributor: For members who share their technical expertise. - Issue reason: has been consistently providing good technical advice etc. to AFF members, by having the vast technical knowledge he has with the various Ford products. A valuable AFF member 
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Just tip it on its side. With motorbikes it fixes just about everything.
Top_Ghia is offline  
Old 20-07-2016, 07:20 PM   #20
Pinkbits
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Pinkbits's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: In my shed
Posts: 5,066
Default Re: Please Magically Fix my Car

Quote:
Originally Posted by Russ View Post
I was expecting this was another post by Hulk but .....
Same result though!
Pinkbits is offline  
2 users like this post:
Closed Thread


Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 10:20 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Other than what is legally copyrighted by the respective owners, this site is copyright www.fordforums.com.au
Positive SSL