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08-04-2020, 05:03 PM | #1 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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Well you know how it is, you stare at something every day and you think to yaself, "Self, geez I'm good lookin'."
But I digress. Today I am going to repair the sliding screen door that the fat gutted dog has ruined. Exhibit A I blame the postman. He comes every day at 1330 hours, oh, for youse dumb ugly BA boys - that's when Mickey's hand is on one and six - and the fat gutted dog lies in wait to attack the postie's throat. She resides inside, usually on my recliner chair where we watch TV together and when she hears the postie she charges off and mangles the screen door on the way as a foretaste to what she will do to the postie. So I popped down to Bunnings just like every other poor bastard in town who is stranded at home and now has the time to those jobs we have been putting off. I get some new screen, but not just run of the mill fly screen, I got me the pet flyscreen. We don't have any pet flies, but I reckon this is the just the ticket to keep the fat gutted dog in its place, you know, inside on the couch, with me. Did you know that Bunnings display doggie doors near flyscreens? Hey, there's an idea, and only eleveney dollas! Bargain. I exit the store but only after struggling with 2 x 65 litres of potting mix that is obviously on the list of things to do tomorra that I haven't been told about yet. Flyscreen - check And what about that doggie door? I do a test fit - check. You can see the excitement on the fat gutted dog's face. OK, I'm not stupid, well scrub that, I am not too stupid, but I know to remove the sliding screen door I have to adjust the adjuster thingies that hold the runners in place. Oh, they look a bit rusted, so I spray them with WD40. I dunno if I need a philips head or normal headed screwdriver, so I try both - the adjuster thingies don't budget. I go to plan B and kick the screen door off its runners. That'll teach it to mess with someone a bit smarter than the average sliding screen door. OK, the screen on, and if you don't mind a rough-looking job - it looks terrific! I'll trim those end bits a few weeks later when the mesh has had time to settle, at least that's what I told my wife. Now to fit the doggie door. That's when things started to stray from the strategic plan. You see my military training means that I plan everything in advance. You know the old adage: "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." So I mastered the instructions on the doggie door, then ate the paper. No I didn't, that's only a thing they do on the movies. The doggie door is designed to clamp together on either side of the screen, cut out the middle bit and use that bit to put screen stuff on the swinging door bit. To see if this was feasible, I used an offcut from the old screen and it came up a treat. This is the swinging doggie door bit, all ready to go. "Things are going swell what?" as Monty would say. Montgomery was the commander of the Eighth Army in the Middle East, and you probably know all about El Alamein and Tunisia and stuff. Just sayin'. But I digress. Oh, NO! I can't clamp the two sides of the doggie door outline together. Well I can, but with just the slightest touch, they fall off. The swinging door bit worked OK, so why doesn't the outline bit? The problem was the fancy fat gutted dog proof doggie screen - it was too thick and I couldn't clamp the two bits together, well I could if those plastic lug thingies didn't fall off. What a bastard. I should go back to Bunnings and do a Russell Crowe - you know, the phone wouldn't work in his room so he took it down and threw it at the bloke down in reception. I think the bloke ducked and the phone missed him. Eleveney dollas gone to waste. Change plans. The door goes on without the door. Did you know that you may be able to kick the sliding door off its slides, but it is an entirely different matter when trying to kick them back on. "But where there's a will there's a way." I don't think Monty said that. So I bashed it on and when it was pretty close I went into the kitchen to get a leveraging-on-tool for door sliders - one of the wife's good silver knives, they are stronger than the cheap ones. Job done. Take that you fat gutted dog. I dunno about you, but I rate the success of a project based on the number of bits left over when I'm finished. The lesser the number the better. I only had one bit left over. I'll hide it somewhere so that you know who will never find out. That just leaves me with one more thing to do. |
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08-04-2020, 05:29 PM | #2 | ||
Shenanigans..............
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Footscrazy
Posts: 12,479
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I'll be honest, when I first read the thread title ,I thought.you were going to be involving one of these...
Last edited by marty351; 28-06-2020 at 09:06 AM. |
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08-04-2020, 05:37 PM | #3 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Tweed Heads
Posts: 404
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Dog doesn't look happy with the project.
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2001 AU2 220 XR8 - Build thread |
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08-04-2020, 05:38 PM | #4 | ||
The Terrain Tamer
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 36,567
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Current Ride : A Ford owned D3... |
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08-04-2020, 05:44 PM | #5 | ||
Donating Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 12,554
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You have had a busy day Cav, you deserve some cake after all that! Love your posts mate, they always brighten my evening.
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PX MK II Ranger FG XR6 FG X XR8 Mustang GT T3 TS50 - gone but not forgotten |
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08-04-2020, 05:47 PM | #6 | |||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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Quote:
I'd like to see him try this with the mega mesh I wuz using. |
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08-04-2020, 06:16 PM | #7 | ||
Budget Racer
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,421
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I am seriously concerned when the postie turns up tomorrow fat dog will turn it's self into meat spaghetti trying to get through the new mesh.
Have you thought this through Cav?
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12.1@112Mph 285rwkw on n2o Cleveland Power |
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08-04-2020, 06:24 PM | #8 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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08-04-2020, 06:26 PM | #9 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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08-04-2020, 06:27 PM | #10 | ||
Lyminge, Shepway, Kent
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Geelong - Go Cats
Posts: 3,197
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Rhetorical much?
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Mel Brooks sums it up best; "Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die, tragedy is when I get a paper cut" |
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08-04-2020, 06:33 PM | #11 | ||
If it ain't broke........
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Sunshine Coast Qld
Posts: 18,715
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Looks like because of the virus "The men's shed" has gone online.........
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Visitors welcome Relatives by appointment only |
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08-04-2020, 06:35 PM | #12 | ||
WT GT
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The GSS
Posts: 17,773
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Subscribed!! this is prollaly going to be the best build thread on AFF.
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08-04-2020, 06:55 PM | #13 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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It's bin 3 hours now and the fat gutted dog hasn't been able to make a dent on the newly installed pet flyscreen.
She can get angry at times as shown here ... The new screen even keeps mossies out. How's that for a win? Feck I'm good, and good lookin' of course. |
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08-04-2020, 06:56 PM | #14 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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08-04-2020, 07:04 PM | #15 | |||
Donating Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Wellington NZ
Posts: 11,279
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Quote:
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08-04-2020, 07:32 PM | #16 | ||
Shenanigans..............
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Footscrazy
Posts: 12,479
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A bone donation whilst brushing doggo's teeth sounds good! Who's first?
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08-04-2020, 07:56 PM | #17 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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08-04-2020, 08:18 PM | #18 | ||
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,892
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Shoulda Got a Bigger Doggy Door, One big enough for a Drunken CAV to sneak home through without waking SWMBO.........Just thinking..
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08-04-2020, 08:32 PM | #19 | ||
Thailand Specials
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Centrefold Lounge
Posts: 49,433
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08-04-2020, 09:28 PM | #20 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Pt Lincoln far side South Oz
Posts: 5,839
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postman
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Dont p i s s off older people. At our age the term Life in Prison is not a deterrent |
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08-04-2020, 10:47 PM | #21 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,167
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Well so as not to want to kick the door down in frustration I got someone in to install our doggy door. Geez it was hard getting the money out, not.
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igodabigblackshinycar and I relented and allowed a BMW into the garage. |
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09-04-2020, 07:38 AM | #22 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 976
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You still got yours.. ;-)
I’d picked you as a Collingwood supporter 😜
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Steve Current rides 2012 Mondeo Titanium wagon (TDCI) Moondust silver 2016 Focus Trend, 1.5ecoboost, 6sp manual. Frozen white Previous 2004 Berlina Wagon (LS1) Vespers Blue 1995 Camry 2.2, white 1971 Ford Fairmont wagon 302w, C4 Polar white 1971 TC Cortina, 2L 4sp, Ermine white |
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09-04-2020, 01:07 PM | #24 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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Another day another project.
I'll have to get the name of the thread changed from project to projects. When I picked up the magic flyscreen from Bunnings I also got a Ryobi spray thingy. I had a Karcher for a number of years but through neglect, it sheet itself months ago. So why a Ryobi? Four year warranty that's why, plus it was cheap. See that tank on the bottom? That's one of the reasons why I chose this one - I can put detergent in it and spray clean the windows outside the house as well as use it to wash the cars with this stuff. So far today I have cleaned the front deck the front doors and windows and the front sliding doors as well as the rear deck, rear windows and rear sliding doors plus the Fairlane and the Territory leaving a trail of soap suds and wet stuff all around the house so that my wife can see all the So how was this new fangled spray thingy? Well, in a word it was mediocre, run of the mill, fair to middling and passable. It has two settings, apart from on/off. There is an adjustment to the stream from broad to narrow and also high pressure/low pressure. The restricting thing is that the detergent will not flow on high pressure, I would have preferred an on/off switch for the detergent. But maybe that would have changed the $139 price. Still, the cars came up OK. All I did was apply the detergent, waited a few moments and washed it off and let them dry. The detergent covered the cars OK but not in as thick as foam I have seen on other bloke's project cars. I will up the strength next time and see if it is betterer. Heck, I may even get some of that overpriced Bowden's foam seeing as I haven't quite spent all my $750 pensioner's stimulus money. This I how the Fairlane came up. BTW, did you catch that little plastic thingy near the rear wheel? That was only one of the two things that fell off the spray thingy Yeah I know, the grass could do with a mow. Did I tell youse I have a Ryobi battery mower? My next project. |
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09-04-2020, 01:39 PM | #25 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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Woo Hoo
There's the other piece that fell off! |
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09-04-2020, 01:43 PM | #26 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 976
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Quote:
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Steve Current rides 2012 Mondeo Titanium wagon (TDCI) Moondust silver 2016 Focus Trend, 1.5ecoboost, 6sp manual. Frozen white Previous 2004 Berlina Wagon (LS1) Vespers Blue 1995 Camry 2.2, white 1971 Ford Fairmont wagon 302w, C4 Polar white 1971 TC Cortina, 2L 4sp, Ermine white |
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09-04-2020, 02:25 PM | #27 | ||
Former BTIKD
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sunny Downtown Wagga Wagga. NSW.
Posts: 53,197
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If you like I could change it to 'Cav's thread of posting lots of pics but not achieving very much'
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Dying at your job is natures way of saying that you're in the wrong line of work.
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09-04-2020, 03:03 PM | #28 | ||
Falcon RTV - FG G6ET
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: In Da Bush, QLD
Posts: 31,600
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OR to YapHoons version of Ted Bullpit except where is Horrice the Aboriginal, let alone Repco Lad & his mate.
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BAII RTV - with Raptor V S/C. RTV Power FG G6ET 50th Anniversary in Sensation. While the basic Ford Six was code named Barra, the Turbo version clearly deserved its very own moniker – again enter Gordon Barfield.
We asked him if the engine had actually been called “Seagull” and how that came about. “Actually it was just call “Gull”, because I named it that. Because we knew it was going to poo on everything”. |
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09-04-2020, 03:13 PM | #29 | ||
HUGH JARSE
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Yap-Hoon
Posts: 21,802
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09-04-2020, 03:22 PM | #30 | ||
Donating Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Wellington NZ
Posts: 11,279
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Pensioner though, has to drag 3 hours work out over 3-4 days for something to do, otherwise he would have to spend his time towing a caravan around at half the posted speed limit, randomly stopping for cake, writing letters of complaint to the media and telling young people about the good ol days.
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