Pearls of Wisdom aka "stating the obvious"

[Vincenzo]

I was thinking about Dad today (he's been dead for 23 years). He was born in the late 20s so I am a baby boomer myself. Anyway, Dad was one of those old Aussies who used the great Aussie vernacular to great effect.

So, growing up I used to always hear how things stood out like a shag on a rock. As I got to my early teens I learnt that a shag was a Euphemism for making love aka the horizontal Rhumba. Conclusion; anyone willing to make love out in the open on a rock is, yes , definitely obvious.

Imagine my surprise when in my late 20s, watching a nature show when they described how this swimming bird (Shag) who does not have waterproof feathers has to stand on a rock with its wings out to dry; i.e., like a shag on a rock. Duh.

Anyone else got some pearls of wisdom from their elders?


Cheers Vincenzo

[GasoLane]

I don't know about 'Pearls of Wisdom' but being originally a Pom I have always been wondering about the saying " Drier than a Dead Dingo's Donger"

Wondering as in, who was the first to coin the phrase and how did they find out ?

[Vincenzo]

Originally Posted by GasOLane

Wondering as in, who was the first to coin the phrase and how did they find out ?

My guess would be an old shooter who was out there taking scalps for the money and came across a long dead carcass - but that is purely supposition.

It was a common expression in pubs when the service was a little slow at the refill.

Cheers Vincenzo

[LG17]

The pub was always the waterhole.

[Lotte]

My Gran's favourite thing to say when she was annoyed by "x,y,z and maybe a,b &c" was "they can shove it where the monkey shoves its nuts."
Nobody in the family is really 100% sure what she ever meant by that, either the monkneys she knew had very, shall we say, peculiar, mating/food storage habits; or she meant something completely different the entire time.

[BHDOGS]

up here for thinking down here for dancing while pointing to your head then your feet. when you come up with a brilliant idea.

[Motorbreath310]

Originally Posted by BHDOGS

up here for thinking down here for dancing while pointing to your head then your feet. when you come up with a brilliant idea.

*attempts to read and comprehend post*



****** gets caught in ceiling fan*

[Geez Louise]

There was a thread on here a few years ago with Aussie slang but I have heard two great ones recently..

That bloke is two stamps short of full postage

Just coz I have a face like a sewing machine, doesn't mean I am a singer!

Cheers
Col

[Vincenzo]

Originally Posted by Lotte

"they can shove it where the monkey shoves its nuts."

Perhaps it refers to the small monkey who gathers nuts from the ground like a squirrel and shoves them in his mouth till he climbs the tree again and can eat them in peace. Or perhaps he doesn't like the idea of storing them inn his "prison purse" before he eats them due to the after taste.


Cheers Vincenzo

[Charliewool]

As a kid I can remember wishing for whatever to mum..
You know.. "Mum, I wish I could go out with my mates" or "Mum, I wish I could have those addidas runners"
Her response was always...
"Wish in one hand, spit in the other and see which fills first"


Another was "Mum, that' not fair!"
Her reply was.. "A black fellas face never is"
(Imagine using that today?)

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

There was a thread on here a few years ago with Aussie slang but I have heard two great ones recently..

That bloke is two stamps short of full postage

Just coz I have a face like a sewing machine, doesn't mean I am a singer!

Cheers
Col

One I use myself (and I'm only 31), is "He's the full 6-pack, just missing the plastic bit that holds it all together"...

[damo76]

There are some good ones here. Bit hard to remember any but a couple similar sayings come to mind.
Mum used to say don't watch too much tv or you'll get square eyes.
Eat your crusts they will make your hair curly.
There was one she used to say if i asked for money she would reply with something about a begger, maybe one of you would know that one.
Dad used to say things like its as useless as tits on a bull.
One another bloke used to say was!
Knowing my luck, if i was raining fannies, i'd get hit by a poofters **** hole.

[Geez Louise]

If you want to hear some pearls of wisdom, you can not beat Nick " Honey Badger" Cummins.

Here are his best interview moments:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3K1CmX0dSXg

I almost went Head over biscuit listening to it

Cheers
Col

[castellan]

Originally Posted by Feathers

One I use myself (and I'm only 31), is "He's the full 6-pack, just missing the plastic bit that holds it all together"...

He's a 6 pack short of a stubbie.

[castellan]

Originally Posted by GasOLane

I don't know about 'Pearls of Wisdom' but being originally a Pom I have always been wondering about the saying " Drier than a Dead Dingo's Donger"

Wondering as in, who was the first to coin the phrase and how did they find out ?

I goes without saying.

[Streets]

Originally Posted by Geez Louise

If you want to hear some pearls of wisdom, you can not beat Nick " Honey Badger" Cummins.

Here are his best interview moments:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3K1CmX0dSXg

I almost went Head over biscuit listening to it

Cheers
Col

This was hilarious

[castellan]

As sure as the cows come home in the morning. (and they do you know but some city people would not have clue what you are on about )

Don't you worry about that ! ( your out of you depth or it does not concern you.)

A lot of things QLD Premier Sir Joh said, many city people did not have a clue what he was saying but it was true, if you knew what it ment infact he nailed it spot on as a matter of fact. he talked about stradling both sides of a barbed wire fence once, refering to his position on the political left and right wing, he said he had been told by others it was not very comfotable. now he had never tryed it you see, as he was not that foolish to even try it.

Joh was a very smart man but an old cow cockie and they had there sayings in them days but nowadays our young people say a lot of stupid things that have no relation to what the original word ment at all.
Sweet
Too easy
Gay
Are you winning.
Just to name a few crass sayings or words that have got nothing to do with reality and it come from bogans or dimwits that are just blase with what they say. yes that's what the older people think of them words that i know, it's true but they put up with it, but truly hate it.

[zilo]

My old man used to say that certain govt public servants' service was about

"as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike"

[Franco Cozzo]

Fits like a finger in a bum hole?

[pottery beige]

stop crying or you'll grow tits

shuts the sooks up

[supershifty]

I use these quite often but don't see the correlation:

Crook as a dog (sickness) - rarely have I seen a sick dog to pass comment on.

Black as a dogs guts outside (storm clouds, darkness) - never seen a dogs guts, I doubt they're black.

Cheers!

[Batman105E]

I have a few that I use, most have some sort of profanity though...

Greasier than a butchers c**k.
Flat out like a lizard drinking.
Couldn't drive a greasy nail up a rats bum.
Blind as a welders dog.
Windy enough to blow a dog off a chain, or windy enough to blow a b#tch off heat.
Colder than a witches tit.
Hungry enough to eat the crotch out of a low flying duck.
(for someone with crooked and protruding teeth) His teeth are so bad he could eat a pie through a tennis racket.
Lower than a snakes guts.

Those are just a few off the top of my head.

[ford71V8]

His teeth are so bad he could eat a pie through a tennis racket.

.....

[superyob]

As useless as a one legged man in an **** kicking competition...

[MAD]

I used to get threatened by my primary school principal that he would "rip yer arms of shove 'em in yer ears and ride ya round like a motorbike"
Don't why such violence was directed at such young children... haha.

Can't believe the old classic "stands out like dog's balls" hasn't made an appearance.

I used to know a heap but can't think of any at the moment.
I'll be sure to list them if I remember.

[Bearman]

Originally Posted by MAD

I used to get threatened by my primary school principal that he would "rip yer arms of shove 'em in yer ears and ride ya round like a motorbike"
Don't why such violence was directed at such young children... haha.

Can't believe the old classic "stands out like dog's balls" hasn't made an appearance.

I used to know a heap but can't think of any at the moment.
I'll be sure to list them if I remember.

I often use "stands out like red balls on a blue dog"

Originally Posted by zilo

"as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike"

Another one I use a lot.

Coined by the late, great Barry Sheene.

[supershifty]

Originally Posted by MAD

I used to get threatened by my primary school principal that he would "rip yer arms of shove 'em in yer ears and ride ya round like a motorbike"
Don't why such violence was directed at such young children... haha.

Can't believe the old classic "stands out like dog's balls" hasn't made an appearance.

I used to know a heap but can't think of any at the moment.
I'll be sure to list them if I remember.

I believe the full quote is "stands out like dogs balls on a kitten" - could probably be wrong though.

Who knows where this stuff originated - I'd like to think it's Aussie euphemisms though, we have such a colourful language. I always liked the cockney rhyming slang: Dog and bone = phone, Cheers and kisses = Mrs etc.

Cheers!

[Kieron]

I thought the ashtray on a motorbike was used by DJ?

He also had "The only thing you get by looking over your shoulder is a sore neck'

Not so much pearls of wisdom but sayings I grew up with -

Thick as two short planks
half soaked
Not the full quid
Running around like a blue arsed fly
A chip of the ole block
Mutton dressed as lamb
Children should be seen and not heard

and coming from an Irish background, pleny of drinking related sayings -

On the razzle
On the lash
Going for a gargle
he was well lashed/banjaxed, poleaxed, battered
Hair of the dog
Broken the seal

Many more too but they are crude

[Matty4]

Originally Posted by castellan

He's a 6 pack short of a stubbie.

Ummm......isn't it the other way around?

A stubbie short of a six pack.

[LG17]

For a bloke I knew 40 odd years ago, everything was as dry as a wooden god.
If it hadn't rained, if he was thirsty...