Does anyone else have a partner that feels free to dip into their bank account?

brenx · 01-07-2006, 04:44 PM

I recently received a small amount of $ for my long service leave which I carefully worked out what it will be spent on. I tend to feel this should be spent on me as I stuck around the workplace for 10 years to get the little bonus.

In detail;

- It paid off a GE debt which wasn't due to May 07 (our debt)
- Bought two tyres for my wifes EL
- Bought a tail pipe for my wifes EL
- Bought my wife a $70 pair of shoes
- Paid for our accomodation at a motel
- Paid for a wedding present
- Paid for all our drinks during wedding (I don't mind this one as I get drunk too

)

Notice a pattern??

I left a four figure sum in our joint account as I've ordered a set of traction bars and booked into to have some custom extractors done for the XB.

Just checked my account. Noted I've just paid for my nephews birthday present. Various other items also at the shops today yet I never left the house.

I'm a little annoyed but amused at the same time as my partner (wife) knew exactly what the money was being kept in the account for. Now I'm at least $100 short.

Our back ground is our home life/spending is very tightly budgeted for varying reasons. I'm often called tight for the way I allocate money. My wife doesn't like the fact I pay the bills first.

I sometimes don't know whether to pull my hair out or fall over and roll around the ground laughing. I can't win

Anyone else have similar experiences male of female?

nb..I'm not allowed to touch my wifes long service leave $ :Reverend:

agony · 01-07-2006, 04:47 PM

Didnt you say you were married, then as we all know it is joint money, for both of you to spend I would have thought. If you want your own little spending money then I would not go putting it in a joint account.

ronwest · 01-07-2006, 04:50 PM

Well, I don't know you or your wife so I'm not able to voice an opinion on who contributes what, or who puts up with what but I'm a marriage success story.

30 years this year and I can honestly say that throughout our marriage money has not been a cause of contention (yes, we budgeted in the early days).

I am of the view that "our" money is just that. As long as the bills are paid I could care less what it's spent on.

Always been the same and we've never argued over money.

XRchic · 01-07-2006, 04:51 PM

We dont have a problem, we have a joint account and a joint mortgage. We agree on how we spend money, whether it is on bills or anything else. No issue with cars, because we both want to spend the money on the cars and both agree we would spend more on the cars if we had more.

No problems here at all.

brenx · 01-07-2006, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agony

Didnt you say you were married, then as we all know it is joint money, for both of you to spend I would have thought. If you want your own little spending money then I would not go putting it in a joint account.

Yep married for many years close to 10 now. Been together 12-13 years.

The only money we deem not joint is bonus's like long service leave or tax $. Everything else is jointly spent although there is never anything left for leisure :(

Not no really a problem. I just thought I'd ask. My Mrs is a gambler prior to this she used to hit me up for $1000 per day without my knowledge. We've since put a stop to that. When she had my cards maxed she'd go and apply for some in her name. We've since put a stop to that too.

In the early days I used to own a business and my take home wage was quite substaincial. My wife got used to having plenty of play money.

Casper · 01-07-2006, 04:57 PM

My wife can understand what you are going through.. I'm known for just spending money that she has allocated to something else too.

:

brenx · 01-07-2006, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Casper

My wife can understand what you are going through.. I'm known for just spending money that she has allocated to something else too.

:

I think most relationships have one tight person and the other being a spender. S**t happens ey? Before my mortage I was a spender too.

Casper · 01-07-2006, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brenx

I think most relationships have one tight person and the other being a spender. S**t happens ey? Before my mortage I was a spender too.

yeah, its all pretty normal. Thats why I give all the money to her and keep an "allowance". That way the bills are paid, the house has food in it and I can spend my allowance on whatever I like.
So long as its not "out of control" you have the right idea.. laugh and enjoy your wife having a smile for a while. Its only money

(oh, and I understand the "living to a tight budget" too... we are like that)

agony · 01-07-2006, 05:02 PM

hey then Brenx if your bonus is yours and yours alone why did you put it in a joint account.

yes your right all relationships have there spenders but when I sit down and think about it I spend more than my fair share.

LimeGlaze · 01-07-2006, 05:07 PM

Never married and no kids, my only dependant is the cattle dog, and I'm safe from him spending the money cos he lacks opposable thumbs! Yes, I also pay the bills first!

Outbackjack · 01-07-2006, 05:21 PM

Indisputable fact : Once married.

A womans possessions are hers.
A man possessions become joint property.

Get used to it.

brenx · 01-07-2006, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agony

hey then Brenx if your bonus is yours and yours alone why did you put it in a joint account.

yes your right all relationships have there spenders but when I sit down and think about it I spend more than my fair share.

I pay enough bank fee's without adding other accounts fees to the bills. Joint account it had to be.

rag top · 01-07-2006, 05:27 PM

I've had similar experiences, with me allocating a substantial overtime payment to fix my car, and all of a sudden, a huge chunk is missing.

Revenge was sweet when she did it again prior to her birthday, and spent the money I had put aside for her birthday pressie. I even told her not to touch it. No money, no pressie, and she only had herself to blame.

agony · 01-07-2006, 05:29 PM

I know what you mean about bank fees there a killer, maybe you should have taken it out and stashed it away.

brenx · 01-07-2006, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by '67

I've had similar experiences, with me allocating a substantial overtime payment to fix my car, and all of a sudden, a huge chunk is missing.

Revenge was sweet when she did it again prior to her birthday, and spent the money I had put aside for her birthday pressie. I even told her not to touch it. No money, no pressie, and she only had herself to blame.

I've had that situation. I refuse to buy presents when the $ go missing. To my wifes defence she's been very good lately. I'm very pleased.

Miss_XR6 · 01-07-2006, 05:30 PM

my partner spends money left right and center it does go all to his car but he never has anything left to spend on like taking me out to dinner or going for a cruz every now and then.. im not trying to be selfish by the way

brenx · 01-07-2006, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by agony

I know what you mean about bank fees there a killer, maybe you should have taken it out and stashed it away.

Can't do that. I tried that. xbcoupe302 can vouch for it. Mrs found my cash stash and spent it. I had it hidden away and I went to work with xbcoupe302. She's found it in an hour. At the time I was saving for an MSD dizzy.

qwigybo · 01-07-2006, 05:31 PM

i'm the spender in our relationship, but after the bills are paid etc, try to keep it even but i end up spending more each month, whenever i offer her to go somewhere she doesn't want to do it

Feathers · 01-07-2006, 06:10 PM

My mum would be like that if she had access to my Dad's accounts.

They don't have a joint account, and she hasn't worked in 28 years, even though Dad offered her her own business.

Dad is now a partner in an Italian restaurant, and mum hasn't even met the people he's in it with. She has no idea.

I, on the other hand have eaten there every weekend for the past month.

XRchic · 01-07-2006, 06:50 PM

Its not just women who spend all the blokes money, some blokes will take plenty of a woman's money too! Plenty of blokes dont work, live off their missus, drink etc...

If you both earn it, you both make decisions evenly about how it is spent and spend it evenly, I say. We both work just as hard to bring the money home each fortnight and its all equal.

**Sorted** · 01-07-2006, 07:22 PM

Brenx you better make sure you wife does not know how to log onto Ford Forums and check this thread or some one wont have any money to spend and prob no sex for a very long while

As for me - Happily Un-Married lol no $$ issues what-so-ever

xbcool · 01-07-2006, 07:28 PM

whats mine is hers
and whats hers is her own

naughts · 01-07-2006, 07:30 PM

Gidday Mate.
P.C running fine!!
Hope the $$$$'s are still there for the Caltracs. New Extractors too I here???
Gotta see the green beast hit the 10's
Hope it all works out good for you.
Chris.
How's the night shifts going???

XRQTOR · 01-07-2006, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XRchic

Its not just women who spend all the blokes money, some blokes will take plenty of a woman's money too! Plenty of blokes dont work, live off their missus, drink etc...

If you both earn it, you both make decisions evenly about how it is spent and spend it evenly, I say. We both work just as hard to bring the money home each fortnight and its all equal.

Point them out i'd be willing to stay at home and spend someone else's money

MO · 01-07-2006, 09:07 PM

I had one once that maxed everything out.....got rid of her.

If you told your partner that you'd earmarked x dollars for something then the least you can expect is for that to be respected and not touched!!

Bearman · 01-07-2006, 09:25 PM

I'm the spender here, I'm freaking hopeless!! Think nothing of maxing out credit cards and drawing on the mortgage.

My better half is a "debt is evil" type and does not spend anything she doesn't have.

When we met it was a case of opposites attract. We're engaged now and I've offered to hand everything over and get pocket money from her. Sounds pretty demeaning I know but I think it's sensible to allocate responsibilities to the individual strong points, in her case she's very good with the finances.

Having said that the Coupe will be going without for quite a while yet!!

V8R · 01-07-2006, 09:33 PM

we have joint accounts and chat about our finances on a near-daily basis.. dont have any major dramas, personally

brenx · 02-07-2006, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DRHEMI

Brenx you better make sure you wife does not know how to log onto Ford Forums and check this thread or some one wont have any money to spend and prob no sex for a very long while

As for me - Happily Un-Married lol no $$ issues what-so-ever

My wife knows

We're quite civil about the issue.

brenx · 02-07-2006, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naughts

Gidday Mate.
P.C running fine!!
Hope the $$$$'s are still there for the Caltracs. New Extractors too I here???
Gotta see the green beast hit the 10's
Hope it all works out good for you.
Chris.
How's the night shifts going???

Good to hear about the PC. Night shifts good. Just got home from work ;)

I'm trying to get as many goodies as I can afford. I'll be getting a few more goodies at tax time. Next time the cars out I dare say it'll run some lower numbers.

deesun · 02-07-2006, 09:56 AM

Open your own bank account so she has no acces to your cash. Any "extra " you want to put away then it is safe in a second account. Make sure it is separate and not linked so she cant get into it.