I’m a V8

[Ymir]

My car was made in sixty-nine,
Me in sixty-five,
I look at the two of us,
It’s like we’re both alive.
Both approaching middle age,
We scoff at old and young,
Not so slow that we’re disadvantaged,
When it comes to fun.
We both laugh at the new models,
Me at the kids today,
It of power-absolute-ly-every-thing,
And muted interiors of gray.
We both laugh at the old models,
Me of the wrinkly set,
It at the models old and decrepit,
In them no-where you will get.
Our bodies are both showing age,
You’ll find the odd dent,
In places rust is showing through,
And our steering arms are bent.
Our springs are starting to sag a little,
Noises come from our rear,
We don’t respond each and every time,
When us someone tries to steer.
But give us the open road,
Where freedom plays its part,
We’ll show you all a thing or two,
For what matters is the heart.

Cheers

[OLDFORDNUT]

thats a great poem

[Ymir]

Thanks - that's very kind of you. I like to write the odd poem - sometimes it feels good to get something cranky out on paper, to express something, or to say thanks to someone. I've got thousands.

Cheers

[shaneo]

good one mate, maybe u should post some up

[ieatsports_cars]

that brough laughter and tears to my old dented face lol

[Ymir]

Wet Weather

The rain rolled over the mountains,
Like a possessed train,
It drenched every living thing,
From the mountain to the plain.
Only the brave would venture out,
As nature did it's worst,
But I feared not such silliness,
Let the Mother do her worst.
My steed has cylinders eight,
Not much, but it's mine,
The tyres are so bald that,
On a dry day they still shine.
The suspension retired long ago,
Or this is what I'm told,
You can expect such occurrences,
When your car is old.
The rust is showing in many places,
It's held together by wire,
But the Old Honey can really sing,
As it breaths out gouts of fire.
Plus, I was late for a meeting,
The time was slipping away,
So, out into the storm I raced,
As the last light left the day.
The road was one of negative camber,
Through it grass had grown,
The old car seemed sentient now,
With an angry mind of it's own.
Until a truck cut us off,
They are a real pain,
It swerved unexpectedly into,
Our precious 10 foot lane.
My reaction was a trifle harsh,
I changed lanes too,
There was another one available,
Lucky - I'm telling you.
But to do so took some energy,
And to the pedal I put,
A hole heap of my sized ten,
Enraged and fearful foot.
This unleashed the dinosaur,
About 400 horse power,
And thus we were travelling,
Sideways at 70 miles an hour.
The other motorists did not enjoy this,
All had cause to frown,
For I was scared at this action,
The trail I left was brown.
But the recalcitrant tyres awakened,
Finding precious grip,
And control was once again restored,
Ceasing our white-knickled death slip.
The panic slowly ebbed away,
The truck driver did not linger,
His comment was swift and certain,
Flipping me his editorial finger.
I have learnt from this experience,
And even though it's a pain,
Avoid trucks at all cost,
And be careful in the rain.

Cheers

[v8falconsrule]

more, more!!!!! good stuff old mate, keep 'em coming.

[Ymir]

Trading Odyssey

We were heading to the city,
To pick up our new car,
The trip was about three hours,
It wasn't all that far.
This was the old car's swan song,
It had been more than great,
It had never let us down,
I considered it a mate.
The girls were sleeping in the back,
Enjoying a peaceful snooze,
I was enjoying the time we were making,
On this Friday afternoon cruise.
About an hour into the trip,
It felt like three small holes,
That we had driven through,
But on we continued to roll.
The alternator light came on first,
The coolant light on next,
The temperature was sky high,
I'm sure that car was hexed.
We were five ks out of town,
The plight I understanded,
If we stopped we'd be in trouble,
There we would be stranded.
So, on we went towards town,
We would bang or boil,
But if we made it to town,
On the engine I could then toil.
With heart in mouth I continued,
We made it into town,
Steam issuing from the engine,
We could not look around.
The kids had now woken up,
They were a little alarmed,
But they were also relieved,
That they had come through unharmed.
As soon as we stopped the car boiled,
Water flowing everywhere,
I spied a car place nearby,
So I went over there.
I had lifted the hood to check,
This steamy and stench-ridden space,
I thought we had lost a belt,
But the two were still in place.
I bought coolant and a new battery,
Just as the store closed,
I then fitted the new battery,
And the engine I gently hosed.
I filled the radiator with coolant,
And with water it I mixed,
Then started the car to see,
If the problem I had fixed.
Alas things were no better,
We were so far from home,
I took the kids to McDonalds,
So I could use the phone.
I tried every number listed,
But the mechanics had gone home,
And few worked on Saturdays,
A receptionist told me through the phone.
Plus, a big event was in town,
Something that was quite rare,
So even the mechanics that might work,
Tomorrow would not be there.
Dejectedly we walked back,
To our stricken car,
For now we'd find a motel,
There was one not far.
Then I saw three guys,
Across at a truck depot,
They'd have some local knowledge,
About where I could go.
They enjoyed my current plight,
Taking in my story,
About how we were trading the car,
And its inherent irony.
One had some parts in his car,
And offered to help us out,
I ran to get the car,
With a joyful sort of shout.
He looked at the situation,
And sadly shook his head,
The harmonic balancer had collapsed,
I'd need a mechanic instead.
He gave me the number of a mate,
I called him without warning,
He was happy to help me out,
First thing in the morning.
See, he was a tow truck driver,
Knowing every mechanic in town,
He cold surely assist me,
To enable a repairer to be found.
So, the guys at the depot offered,
To store the crippled car,
I packed anything we needed,
And asked where the motels are.
One of the guys scratched his head,
And over the kids his eyes did drift,
He didn't want us walking everywhere,
So, he offered us a lift.
The first motel was booked out,
The second had no room,
For the event that was in town,
Had brought a reservation boom.
One motel remained to try,
One I had frequently driven past,
And as I asked for a room,
She told me it was the last.
We wearily went to the room,
It was a welcome sight to see,
I was so tired from my exertions,
Of nervous energy.
The kids loved the adventure,
Both enjoying things new,
They were enjoying the experiences,
And now the time fairly flew.
The next morning I rang my contact,
The situation for me to see,
He'd found a mechanic who could help,
And he'd tow the car for free.
We got a taxi into town,
Had breakfast at our leisure,
The mechanic rang a little later,
With words I'll long treasure,
"We've finished working on your car,
And because of the irony,
I've charged you trade prices for the parts,
And my labour's free."
Sometimes kindness smiles upon you,
No matter where you are,
So, we caught a cab to the place,
And jumped in the old car.
I have said ugly things about people,
Often complained loud and long,
But compassion and helpfulness does exist,
And I'm delighted to have been wrong.

And every word is true. When we traded our ED Futura for the AU Fairmont Ghia, this all happened.

Cheers

[ieatsports_cars]

some people are so genourous, it just makes life so better that someone is their to give you a hand , iguess the old ed futur just didnt like to be traded in :-) they were good old falcon my granny had a ed futura it did 300,000 in four years and not a thing went wrong and did long trips every 2nd day, i wish mum brought the futura of grandma. gees don't trade the au fairmont ghia in

[v8falconsrule]

just proves that cars are female- it's all good till you try to introduce another one, then all hell breaks loose!

[ieatsports_cars]

that is gold lol

[Ymir]

Old Car Woes

My car has been ill-tempered for some time
But with old cars that’s not enough
To take them to the mechanic
For its then they sound so tough.
But, relent I did reluctantly
A leak in the exhaust so severe
That the dinosaur chewed through gasoline
And pedestrians lived in fear.
Now, two gaskets for the job were needed
Only one could be sourced in town
My mechanic scoured up and he scoured down
Our regional kind of town.
So, three days later it returned
For the second gasket to be installed
But, yet another problem surfaced
I was quite appalled.
The extractors were now leaking
And needed to be welded from the inside
This chase down the rabbit hole was wearying
But the mechanic I did not deride.
The ignition leads were also arcing
They do this when they’re old
And they need to be separated better
Well, at least this is what I’m told.
And now everything’s half fixed
More parts are on the way
It’s rough and under-powered
And booked in again next Thursday.
So, I’ve gone from a tough sounding car
That ran really quite well
To a problematic piece of machinery
That takes joy in giving me hell.
So, now from now on I’ll be content
With the old car – warts and all
For, even though it wasn’t perfect
At least when I drove it I had a ball.

Cheers

[fpvpower]

: : :

[ieatsports_cars]

ohh dear

[v8falconsrule]

i am starting to see a common theme here- mechanical mayhem. it's funny how our cars problems only make them more precious to us - even if we won't think so at the time.

[ieatsports_cars]

yes well i have to agree with you ivan

[Ymir]

Drive

The feeling of the wind in your hair
As you crusie with the top down
It makes you feel like you're alive
The best thing that's around.
The feeling of such unconditional freedom
Of boundless exhilaration
So much that when you're not in the car
You're wracked by expectation.
Until next time you're cruising
The sun out, having a ball
But I know I'll never get to drive
Because I'm a dog after all.

Cheers

[v8falconsrule]

love it- i reckon that pretty much sums up our little dog, Cleveland just loves going for drives, you only have to tell him once to get in the car.

[Ymir]

St Christopher Will Protect Me

I’m not a confident driver,
An accident my likely fate,
It would cripple me financially,
And the loss of freedom I would hate.
So, I bought a St Christopher necklace,
For some divine protection,
It specializes in almighty safety,
And in spiritual trouble detection.
I hung it from the rear view mirror,
So trouble it could clearly see,
And thus, I was feeling safe,
With St Christopher protecting me.
I took the first corner on two wheels,
Man, I could really fly,
St Christopher swung on his chain,
And hit me in the eye.
I lost control and spun wildly,
Where was my heavenly luck?
I collided, still doing 60,
With a petrol truck.
The tanker then exploded,
Incinerating me and my car,
St Christopher wasn’t helping me,
As I became a human cigar.
I found myself at The Pearly Gates,
St Christopher in my hand,
I know that the angels here,
Would surely understand.
They said, “Son, we sympathise greatly,
And feel some sorrow as well,
But you can take that flaming necklace,
And go straight down to Hell.”

Many people embrace faith for all the wrong reasons.

[v8falconsrule]

reminds me of the label on jesus' cookie jar- "the lord helps those who help themselves...but lord help anyone who gets caught helping themselves

[ieatsports_cars]

i guess iam saint christopher and i will try to protect you all !! that is a promise that iill try too keep, lol

[Ymir]

The old girl’s been in the shed,
She’s the apple of my eye,
She deserves a bit of pampering,
As the years go flying by.
But yesterday I dragged her out,
Through cobwebs and much dust,
For to let her stretch her legs,
Is also an absolute must.
I was surprised at her willingness,
To accelerate,
To obey each and every command,
Is simply just first rate.
She stopped without any squeals,
She took my breath away,
For whilst a product of yesteryear,
She’s got a character not found today.

Cheers

[Ymir]

I’ve been a bit biased lately,
Telling tales of cars so old,
But don’t get the message wrong,
If I could be so bold.
New cars are things of beauty,
They are efficient, powerful and clean,
The can eat up the highway,
At a rate never before seen.
But just as I get Marilyn Manson,
And a fondness for bourbon I have grown,
Your taste is simply your taste,
And my taste is all my own.

Cheers

[Ymir]

200 Millimetres

I have 200 millimetres
I hold it in my hand
If you also have such a sausage
I know you’ll understand.
I like to stroke it appreciatively
It gives me pleasure – lots
On the bbq with the other meat
Like steak, kebabs and chops.

Cheers

[Terry M]

Make sure you don't burn it

Terry M.

[v8falconsrule]

Originally Posted by Ymir

200 Millimetres

I have 200 millimetres
I hold it in my hand

now you're just being boastful :

[Ymir]

Originally Posted by v8falconsrule

now you're just being boastful :

You're right - for somehting that big you'd need TWO hands. No-one has hands that big.

Sorry.



Cheers

[ieatsports_cars]

she is a v6 and she always breaks,
iam a inline 6 and i always stay strong,
soon i thought i need a 40 year change so iam going to a v6 mustang, well will i stay as strong with my other half , well lets wait and see !

lol i thought i add this little poem, maybe not as unique as ymir, gees mate to tell some bloody good poems mate, brilliant.

[v8falconsrule]

nooooooooooooo go the v8, for the love of god no mustang should ever have to suffer with a v6- ever!

i think imust be an AU 4-litre....not the prettiest body, but strong, reliable, with lots of talk...errrrr torque hehehe

[ieatsports_cars]

i though the 2010 falcon will get a v6 mustang motor from the states ?? sorry if i was incorrect, the au is a pretty body it has to be one of my favourites body shapes

yeah GO THE V8's