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| The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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21-01-2007, 01:05 AM
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I build your wish list...
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Country Victoria
Posts: 4,484
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Once upon a time, and far, far away, lived a beautiful Queen with
voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to more than just satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. The moral of the story - Pay your bills.
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If it weren’t for physics and the law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.
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21-01-2007, 01:08 AM
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Banned
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: IN A 5.0
Posts: 281
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Haha Gold
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21-01-2007, 01:10 AM
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#3 | ||
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windsor user
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Geelong
Posts: 13,123
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aaaaaahahahaha....thats a good one!!
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21-01-2007, 01:19 AM
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#4 | ||
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GT
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: SYDNEY
Posts: 9,205
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HAHAHA very good one .
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21-01-2007, 09:39 AM
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#5 | ||
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Spin 'em Habib !
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Cranbourne Victoria
Posts: 3,854
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hahha Nice One
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AU2PWR |
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21-01-2007, 09:54 AM
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#6 | ||
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Merry Xmas To All
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Melton South, Moderator: ORSM Club
Posts: 3,413
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 :  :  :hihi: :sm_headba Pure gold.... Well done.
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21-01-2007, 10:03 AM
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#7 | ||||
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Rice aint nice!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kilsyth, Victoria
Posts: 379
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Aha nice one!
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Quote:
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination Quote:
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22-01-2007, 10:51 AM
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XR5TBO
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: LEETON, NSW
Posts: 502
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:hihi:
 : :
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Mine: Ford Focus XR5 [XR5TBO] 2008 Ford Fiesta XR4 DJR Team mate #14 |
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22-01-2007, 10:59 AM
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Way over here
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Perth W.A
Posts: 484
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little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag..." "Damn!" says the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?" " Did you steal it?" "Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!" "So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingy through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it comes!" "Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay up"... |
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22-01-2007, 06:36 PM
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The Vengeful One
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Tazzy
Posts: 12,765
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Hahahahahaha!!
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22-01-2007, 07:38 PM
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#11 | ||
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You dig, we stick!
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,461
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Dunno if this has been posted before.
Australian Poetry Competition The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists; a university graduate and an old aboriginal. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "TIMBUKTU". First to recite his poem was the university graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said: Slowly across the desert sand Trekked a lonely caravan Men on camels two by two Destination - Timbuktu. The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that they thought. But the old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited: Me and Tim a hunting' went Met three w.hores in a pop up tent They was three, and we was two So I bucked one, and Timbuktu. The old aboriginal won! |
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Todays Joke
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